ARGH! How long is this going to take?!?!

  1. Something MUST be wrong with either me or my DH. We have been trying to have a baby since NOVEMBER 2005. I did get pregnant last year (around April), but miscarried at 7 weeks. Doc says it's a normal thing, 1 in 4 pregnancies end in mc....fine, ok, i get it. But he won't do any testing just yet...


    I swear...I just about CRIED in the ladies room just now as my "friend" made her appearance today. (scarily enough, right on time.) And for the past few months, whenever I do get my friend, I just get all "well - I FAILED again."

    I'm 30...DH is 31...we'd like to start a family...we've been married for 4 years this year, and people are starting to wonder if we EVER will have kids.

    sorry...I just really needed to vent.
  2. Hi Dewey, have you considered seeing a fertility specialist? Are you using an ovulation predictor?

    I hope my questions are not offending you but these are some things to think about. We're raised to think pregnancy is a natural thing and we take all kinds of precautions to avoid it until we're ready and then it is harder than we thought and we freak out, 2nd guess ourselves, get depressed. At this point I think it is best to talk with someone who specializes in this field so that they can rule out any problems and recommend a course of treatment. Sometimes regular OBs don't understand our fears and take the wait and see approach which makes us crazier and crazier. Maybe you can get recommendations in your area for a good specialist.

    Good luck and hang in there!!!
  3. I probably know the reason...not enough sex during the right time of the month. (or most likely, not enough at all)

    DH and I have different schedules...and quite honestly, I've lost all desire since my m/c last year.

    one of my friends took nearly 17 months to concieve...she just had a baby girl (child #2) last week.

    maybe i just need to sit down and lay all this out on the table with DH...and not take the 'wait and see' approach.

    thanks though...
  4. It took awhile for DH and I to get pregnant. I finally started charting my cycle as well as taking my basal body temperature. I then was able to predict when I was ovulating. Once I did that I told DH exactly when we needed to "make baby" and within the month I was pregnant. It sounds pretty ridiculous but I was desperate. It doesn't happen naturally for all of us.

    I also compiled a bunch of research for my DH, made a folder and gave him a calendar...sounds crazy as I write it but DH just didn't get it.
  5. I'm sorry, but if you've been trying to conceive since 12-05 your OB/GYN is NOT serious enough about you wanting a family.
    Most Docs will wait 6-12 months MAX and do testing. If you're otherwise healthy, most will only make you try 6 months before doing some easier tests.
    Are you using a home ovulation predictor {much like a HPT}?
    These are a MUST, no use in trying to guess which day you might drop an egg.
  6. First of all..perhaps take a step back and try not to put so much focus on getting pregnant. See a fertility doc, but don't make this what your whole life is all about. The stress and disappointment make it even harder to conceive.

    Just relax a bit.. :smile:
  7. Have you tried acupuncture?
  8. I second the good advice about using OPKs:yes:
    Also, your doctor is probably not concerned since technically you did get pregnant less than a year ago. Most doctors don't worry unless you've been unable to conceive for more than a year. However, it sounds to me like perhaps your doctor lacks empathy to your situation and your feelings and maybe you'd be better off with a different one...?
    I totally understand your frustration, every month that same hatred of getting your period! But you really should try OPKs if you haven't already, and learn the signs of ovulation as well...
  9. ding ding ding...that's what my doc told me. When I m/c'd he said "well, at least we know you CAN get pregnant...and that's the hard part." And AFTER the m/c was complete, I didn't get my period until june or I'm not really even at a 1 year mark.

    I'm going to buy some OPK's and start right after this all are right, I need to "take charge" of this a bit more. I do know the "signs"...but maybe not clearly enough...

    And to be fair to my doc...I wouldn't say that he lack's empathy, but maybe I just haven't been open enough with him. I do like him as a doctor, and I do like the practice I'm with. I just need to speak up more, and for that I take total responsibility for.

    thanks stylefly...and thanks to everyone else.
  10. A book called "Taking Charge of your Fertility" is also helpful with charting and temping. But if you have not had any luck at any given month you only have a 2 percent chance of getting pregnant usually. But if it hasnt worked after charting, temping, opks than I'd get myself to a reproductive endocrinologist for some diagnostic testing for you and your SO. Goodluck!.
  11. Omg I am the queen of trying to conceive. We've been trying since May of 04 when we got married!

    Heres some helpful info ....

    Try Preseed, google it. Its a lubricant that helps sperm live longer and its safe as KY, actually safer cause KY kills sperm.

    Stay away from Answer OPKS.

    Me and DH are also relatively young. I got married to him right before I turned 17. Im now almost 20 and hes 26 and will be 27 this year. Our lives are together and we deserve a baby just like you and your dh deserve one.

    I hate fertility drs because I just want to have faith in God. I also have irregular period and i also had an HSG test done that turned out good and normal, both tubes clear. But I think I also have PCOS cause every month I get cysts (sometimes I dont know I have them and then some months like this one they about torture me).

    From your pictures you seem to be a pretty healthy and skinny girl which is good for conceiving as well.

    I would definetly try the preseed, I know about 10 girls who have gotten pregnant while using it.

    Ive used clomid and well, i know for sure we missed the egg... we slacked off that month.

    Good luck, and I am really here for you. Ive been through so much emotional ups and downs while TTC and its a hard journey. Right now, Im just giving it to God.
  12. I got pregnant when I wasn't trying, but I do have friends and family members who had trouble getting pregnant. Here's what I learned from them.

    1. Stop trying so hard. Let nature take it's course and do your thing ;) Stressing about it will only make things difficult and will make you get upset when your friend does come.

    2. Start tracking! I'd suggest going to your phramacy and buying an ovulation tracking kit, if you don't have one already. These things work very well and help you to find a patter in your periods for when you ovulate. During the times when you ovulate, have sex. During the times when you don't...well...DO it too, lol.
    3. Consider seeing someone. There's nothing wrong with seeing a fertility doctor. Just because you see one doesn't mean that anything is wrong with you - but a doctor will definitely be able to give you some tips and would check you and hubby out to see what's up.
    4. Accupuncture. I don't know how or if this works, but a friend of mine swore by it. She had trouble with all 3 of her pregnancies, but when she started with accupuncture, she got pregnant right away.

    Good luck to you and your husband!
  13. Dewey- first of all, I would get a second opinion from a different doctor. It couldn't hurt. Another doctor will have a another perspective to bring to the table. Also, if you have the opportunity, go take a vacation. My girlfriend couldn't conceive for four years, went on vaction with DH, and had two babies nine months later-twins!
    Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Have faith and stay strong.
    We're here for you...
  14. Awww, sweetie, hang in there...

    I (we)was trying to get pregnant way before we got married, finally after 2 years my doctor started making me take my temperature in the mornings to monitor ovulation. and nothing. Then one month I had the worst flu I have ever had, I was sick in bed for a week. It was horrible. Well, my mind was NOT on getting pregnant that week at all, it wasnt on sex either, but what do you know! THATS the week I got pregnant. I figured I must have been trying too hard.

    Big hugs from me!:heart:

  15. ITA, stressing about it has been known to delay things!

    However I fully understand how hard it must be not to worry.

    Really sorry about your mc but this alone gives hope as you have conceived with hubby before.

    Hang on there, hugs to you xxxx