Are you mothers lonely?

  1. I'm watching a TLC program right now about loneliness and \motherhood.

    I can imagine being a mother is really isolating, especially if your kids are young! I hope none of you are lonely. Was it tough at first? How do you make friends with other moms?

    Guess I'm going to learn some lessons from you ladies. :flowers:
     
  2. Hi Hon! I know that for me it was very tough when my twins were babies. I was soo busy w/ them and most of my friends didn't have kids, so I was very lonely. Also, I had no family around here either. My kids entered preschool at 2 years of age but I still didn't really make any mommy friends. Finally, when they were 4 and in preschool something clicked and a made 5 really close girlfriends. My kids are almost 9 now and I am closer than ever w/ those women. They have become my family and our kids are like cousins to each other. It's really so great, but I was very lonely in my early years and hope that no one is going through that now.
     
  3. I'm in that early years stage now...:sad:
    Got 1 & 2 yr. old girls.
    It's hard when you're used to having freedom, career and friends...:sad:
    I was getting too lonely last year
    that my DH had to let me get a long vacation in the Philippines.:p
    Did wonders to my psyche!!!:weird: :lol:
    I'm a stay at home mom... so no chance of making friends...:sad:
    maybe eventually when they start school.
    I maybe lonely at times, but still, I could say I'm happy!
    Actually the tfp keeps me sane nowadays.:rolleyes:
     
  4. I can see where it could be lonely. Especially if you didn't have many friends before or have family close-by, or if you are not really outgoing in personality.

    W/ my first born, I didn't feel lonely because it's SO easy to take one baby where ever you go, my habits didn't change much at all.

    W/ the twins it could've been VERY lonely except I'm fortunate that we can afford help. I could justify a Nanny {part-time} since my DH travels between 2-5 days/week.
    Because I have help, I can grocery shop, take my daughter to movies, have lunch w/ friends once in a while. . . .
     
  5. i think it's very lonely - and scary - at first for most of us. the best advice i can give is to get involved with new moms groups. i went to almost every one i could find in the nyc downtown area and i learned so much and met a ton of friends, many of whom i still call on for advice or support or just a glass (or 2 or 3) of wine after a particularly challenging day...and hang in there because it does get easier as the kids get older!
     
  6. It can be lonely but if you go with the kids to Mommy & me groups and even have a hobby (tennis club, iceskating) that you do on the side it will keep you in touch with the real world.

    I met one of my close girlfriends in the area through our kid's preschool. It also turned out that we had posted on the same infertility message board and didn't know it. Talk about a small world!
     
  7. I just became a stay-at-home-mom about a year ago. My hubby got a promotion that allowed us to have me stay home. There wasn't really a choice as my boy and girl were starting kindergarten, half days. So someone needed to drop off, pick up, and everything else! Obviously that was me!

    I can say that I am very lonely. I have gone back to college, but it's mostly younger people there and I don't have any other friends my age that don't work all day. Most of my friends say things like "oh, must be nice to stay home". They don't realize that I did way LESS at work, than I do home with the kids.....it's neverending. I only see and talk to my kids most days, and I feel like I'm starved for adult company. Thank God I have you guys!!!!!!
     
  8. oh traci, that must be really challenging. and i know having school age kids you can't exactly start going to mommy and me classes! but there is a group you might want to check out, it's called mothers and more, and it's definitely for mothers with older kids kids as well. i checked out the site and i didn't see a rhode island listing but they have info about starting new chapters and there's also an online group... anyway you can go to mothersandmore.org if you're at all interested...
     

  9. Thanks! I will check that out!!:flowers: :flowers:
     
  10. Luckily for me, one of my best friends from college stayed at home like me. And soon after I had my first, she became pregnant with her first so we talked every day on the phone, asking what we were having for lunch. It really helps to be able to find someone else with kids about the same age and going through the same things. Once my kids started school, I started becoming one of those parents that volunteered to go on field trips with my kids class and kept meeting up with some of the same parents. I now have made very good friends with 2 of those moms and our kids are best of friends.
     
  11. I'm not a mom..but I have one. Both her kids are grown (brother still lives at home), and she was recently divorced.....so I think the "empty nest" thing is also a source of loneliness.
    So to combat her loneliness at this stage of life she built another house and spends all her free time there working on it....she also comes down to my place in the states every 3 months for about 1-3 weeks.
    I think her hobbies (house building, etc.) have really helped her!
     
  12. I went back to university right after I had Ben (he was 2 weeks old) so even I was surrounded by other people I felt very lonely because I didn't fully belong there anymore. And on the other side I didn't have anything in common with those "super-mums" who talk about kids 24/7 and their housework. So I was very lonely until Ben went to kindergarten and we moved to Munich because even though i met with people to socialize it wasn't really me. Here I met those wonderful group of women who are different (one an artist with her head in the clouds, another one is a single mum with an energetic and happy character, one fashion junky, one super-mum, one career women). Actually I met the single mum first and she welcomed me with open arms and introduced me to the rest of her friends. I guess we're a kind of outsiders because we don't fit the stereotype of "good mothers" but I love them dearly and mainstream people with no edges never interested me anyway. Even we're such a colourful group with not much in common characterwise we're there for each other. The big bond between us is tolerance and respect. I do love them each for her own.
     
  13. I was actually more lonely before I had my daughter, because my husband was gone so much with work and I was home alone. After I had my daughter, I felt like I had so much work to do and such a purpose in life, it was amazing. It was like God put me on earth to be a mommy. So I am a billion times more fulfilled and happy after having a child than I was before.
     
  14. I bacame a stay at home mom after I had my 2nd and my husband is constantly working. I can tell you that I fell very isolated most of the time. I was hoping to meet other moms once I took my son to preschool, but they were mostly the older supermoms, all of my freinds are either on the other side of the country or still single and busy. My husband doesn't understand a bit. I'm always *****y because I've been stuck in the house all day with no one to talk to. Shopping is my only relief and I haven't been able to get a sitter in 3 weeks:sad: