Any Southern Floridians Here? You'll Enjoy This! The "Ultimate" Barbie!

  1. Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the South Florida market:
    [​IMG]
    GABLES BARBIE:
    This princess Barbie is sold only at
    MerrickPark. She comes with an assortment of Louis Vuitton handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.
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    KENDALL BARBIE:
    The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.
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    OPA-LOCKA BARBIE
    This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) ..unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.
    [​IMG]
    PINECREST BARBIE
    This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.
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    "
    HOMESTEAD BARBIE"
    This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.
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    "BRICKELL BARBIE"
    This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet prescription available as well as warehouse conversion condo.
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    "OKEECHOBEE BARBIE:"
    This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Homestead Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top.Let's not forget the butt tattoo and thong. Also available with a mobile home.
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    "COCONUT GROVE BARBIE"
    This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstock sandals with white socks. She prefers that you call her
    Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Coconut Grove Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.


     
  2. [​IMG]
    "REDLAND BARBIE"
    She's perfect in every way. We don't know where Ken is because he's always out a-'huntin'.
    [​IMG]
    "SOUTH BEACH BARBIE"
    This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.
     
  3. VERY FUNNY !!!
    Where's the Palm Beach Barbie ?????????:p

    Where there supposed to be pics ??? I see a bunch of red x's ???:shrugs:
     
  4. Oh! There are supposed to be photos. Okay, let me repost.

    GABLES BARBIE:
    This princess Barbie is sold only at Merrick Park. She comes with an assortment of Louis Vuitton handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

    [​IMG]

    KENDALL BARBIE:
    The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

    [​IMG]
     
  5. OPA-LOCKA BARBIE
    This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) ..unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about
    .
    [​IMG]

    PINECREST BARBIE
    This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.
    [​IMG]

    "
    HOMESTEAD BARBIE"
    This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free. [​IMG]

    "BRICKELL BARBIE"
    This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet prescription available as well as warehouse conversion condo.
    [​IMG]



     
  6. "OKEECHOBEE BARBIE:"
    This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Homestead Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top.Let's not forget the butt tattoo and thong. Also available with a mobile home.
    [​IMG]
    "COCONUT GROVE BARBIE"
    This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstock sandals with white socks. She prefers that you call her
    Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Coconut Grove Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.
    [​IMG]

    "REDLAND BARBIE"
    She's perfect in every way. We don't know where Ken is because he's always out a-'huntin'.
    [​IMG]




    "SOUTH BEACH BARBIE"
    This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.

    [​IMG]
     
  7. Not from Florida but I do visit regularly...this is very funny!
     
  8. Hahaha, that's hilarious :roflmfao:
     
  9. LOL! :roflmfao: Hilarious! I grew up about an hour from Okeechobee and can attest that Okeechobee Barbie is pretty much spot-on :p
     
  10. :roflmfao: Hysterical!!!
     
  11. We need a Boca Raton Barbie........shops till she drops. Is beyond rude to any SA and just thinks she is it.......
    Oh-I remeember when Boca was just becoming a town and Town Center was part built. We looked at houses out west there and thought it was in the middle of nowhere.
    I still loved Jupiter Beach the best, but that has become another Boca.

    There is Hobe Sound Bible Barbie. The barbie goes to Bible College there and is also known as the "bun ladies" around town. They grow out their hair and have to wear it in a bun. No jewelry or makeup at all. Long skirts and stockings and shirts that cover the elbows--even in the Florida summers. Good at preaching to you if you let them. Also prone to walk across the streets without looking because "God is with them". I am not making fun of this, it is true. When I first moved there my friends told me this, especially to be extra careful driving around the bible college because they alway step out in front of the cars.
     
  12. Lol!!
     
  13. HAHAHHA!!! :roflmfao:
     
  14. Lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  15. Where is the North Miami Beach barbie? (who is most likely originally from Brooklyn and has sequins on everything) From a Kendall Barbie without the minivan!!.