Hey, everyone. I need some help. (It feels so good to finally admit that.) A quick history...I battled depression 6 years ago, but I got pregnant 3 months after starting on antidepresants and had to stop but after my son was born, things got better (so I thought....). A year ago I got promoted to a supervisor level at my job and knew that for me to be successful, I was going to get my emotions under wrap. I have always been emotional, sensitive, whatever you want to call it (my first reaction to any emotion is to cry...) That doesn't fly so well in a professional invironment. I did ok with that. The first two months I shut off everything to the point that I don't really think I felt anything. I didn't like that at all. I went through a pretty stressful time at work from January to May with a super huge project at work. The day it rolled out, I bawled for 20 minutes. I am sure it was the relief of all the pressure, but that was what I did. So this past month I took on an additional function at my job. I still supervise a department, but then I took on an entirely additional job, which was done all shady-like and deceptive by my own management team. I got 2 1/2 days training and then I was dumped into my position, left to fend for myself. The girl who did it before never came back to work and so I have no one to help me. So yeah, I am a little freakin' stressed. Today I had the beginnings of an anxiety attack. I had them years ago and so I was able to stop it before I got too bad, but then I decided at that moment that I cannot handle this without some help. My family life is starting to suffer, and just when I thought I was on the right track with getting healthy (eating better, working out, quit smoking) I now have this in my way. I cry. Everyday. I was in tears at 5 am this morning because I thought DH was being a jerk. The sun wasn't even up yet. I know I put a lot of pressure on myself, but this new job is not something that I can half-a$$. I am dealing with hundreds of thousands of dollars each day and one mistake could cost someone thousands. I refuse to fail. In the meantime, I am suffering. My body hurts all the time, I have stress headaches and I cannot for the life of me get to sleep at night. So after all of that I ask, do you think that anxiety (which I think I am feeling first) leads to depression (which I know I am at that place)? One minute I am bawling and the next I am rolling on the floor with laughter. I have lost all control of my emotional balance and have scheduled an appointment with my dr. for Thursday. I just wanted some feedback, if you have experienced this in your life (or know someone who has). I hope that this is temporary (and I think it will be, and then I go back and forth with, "do I just suffer through this" or "do I get prof. help?") but I just can't do it by myself anymore. I appreciate everyone's thoughts. Thank you in advance for taking the time to read and respond!