Am I being unreasonable....

  1. My daughter has a friend that always wants to come over to visit and/or spend the night. I have no problem with that except that the friend always wants me to meet her mother halfway (at the mall) for pick up. I have tried to explain to my daughter that if her friend wants to come over and visit fine, but her mother needs to bring her over. In the past I have agreed to meet halfway (only because we were going to be in the area), but should I be expected to do this everytime? When ever my kids want to visit their friends, then I take them there and pick them up. I would never ask a parent to meet me halfway. My daughter has been friends with this girl since sixth grade and now is a sophomore in high school. They use to live about 10 minutes away, but have now moved about 45 minutes away to nother city. The mother and I talk when we see each other but are not close friends at all. Any input would be appreciated.
     
  2. I'd just tell my daughter to tell her friend to tell her family to drop her off at your house.
    No reason for you to pick her up every time.
     
  3. Or say, "I'd love to come meet at the mall, but unfortunately I'm too busy to drive out there. Is there any way she can be dropped off here?"
     
  4. Nope, you're not being unreasonable...I would feel the same way. I'd suggest doing something along the lines of what sailor said...Just say you don't have the time to go to the mall right now but that your daughters' friend is still welcome?
     
  5. I have this same problem with one of my daughter's friends. The parents are never around to bring her over or to help car pool if they go skating or to a school dance or the mall or whatever. We always have to pick the other girl up, take her where they're going, and then bring her back home. Sometimes we even have to loan her the money until the parents can get home and then pay us back:wtf: . We even had to pick her up and bring her to my daughter's birthday party at our house. I guess it's not that big of a deal, but I've never done that with my kids, even with people we knew well.
     
  6. Well, I'm looking at it from the side of making my child happy and encouraging friendships. Your daughter has a close friend and wants to hang out with her. Now that they live 45 minutes away it's harder. So why not meet half way? Would you be fine with always dropping your daughter off at her friend's house, taking a 1.5 hour round trip? I would think if it's a couple of times a month it shouldn't be a problem. Sure, it's not a perfect situation, but this is about you being able to see your daughter happy hanging out with her friend...right?
     
  7. I could totally see where that would get annoying. Do her parents expect you to drive all the way to their house? It would be a nice gesture for them to every so often drop her off at your house instead of requiring you to drive too... especially since you're probably driving the girls around anyway once they're all at your place.

    I know my mom would always complain about some parents never driving places, but in the end she'd always step in and do it because she didn't want my friendships to be hurt by her annoyance with the other parents... it really isn't the kids fault their parents are like that.
     
  8. i definately agree that its not the kids fault...i think you should raise the issue with the mom and see if there can be a mutual agreement (like every other week you do a drop off or every month) because you wouldnt want to hurt the girls' friendship.
     
  9. Well, I'm looking at it from the side of making my child happy and encouraging friendships. Your daughter has a close friend and wants to hang out with her. Now that they live 45 minutes away it's harder. So why not meet half way? Would you be fine with always dropping your daughter off at her friend's house, taking a 1.5 hour round trip? I would think if it's a couple of times a month it shouldn't be a problem. Sure, it's not a perfect situation, but this is about you being able to see your daughter happy hanging out with her friend...right?

    I have no problem dropping my daughter off when she asks to go to their house because I think it's my resposibility to drop her off and not her parents responsiblity to meet me half way. And yes, I want to encourage my daughter to continue her friendship with this girl even though she has moved so far away, but she wants to meet halfway EVERYTIME she comes to visit and like I said before I have agreed in the past to meet them. It has gotten to the point if I don't agree to meet them then the friend does not come over. It's not like they sit at the house once they get there either, I usually drop them off at the movies or at the mall and sometimes it's after midnight when they call for me to pick them up from the movies.
     
  10. Yes, it has gotten very annoying but my daughter has only asked to go there a couple of times, but the friend is constantly asking to come over and when I don't agree she usually gets an attitude with my daughter and not call for a while.
     
  11. I think it's very, very rude of the other mother to not drop her daughter off when you are kind enough to host her for the night.
     
  12. That's not cool of her to take it out on your daughter and manipulate you in the process- it sounds like the friend was never taught the meaning of the word "no". Even though you don't give in to this girl, that kind of passive aggressive behavior is so annoying.
     
  13. I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. You should explain to your DD that you are uncomfortable with that arrangement. She is old enough to understand and work it out with her friend without you getting involved.
     
  14. ITA :yes:
     
  15. I think if it's your responsibility to take her all the way to her friend's house , then it's the parents responsibility to bring your daughter's friend. I hate when parents try to always take the easy way out, their daughter is the one begging to go, they should be the one to do it.