Alec and Kim at it again

#31
I think it was by far an inappropriate thing to say, but heck, my mom used to say a lot worse than that. How do we know he didn't jump on the phone 5 minutes later and apologize like crazy in the next message? That's what a lot of parents do, yell and then apologize. It sounds to me like he had a very hard time getting to the phone, and Kim makes sure that Ireland misses the phone calls. People make mistakes. I hate to judge him on one phone call.
 
#32
shoegal said:
Zophie said:
Dads are human and get their feelings hurt and get mad just like anyone else. Kids can also be a total handful.

quote]

Sure they are but its not about you as a dad or mom. As a parent I feel my job is to get my child to adulthood as a whole, healthy, sane person. If I am on the attack, name calling and berating my child, why would she expect anything different from any other man out there? And I have no doubt that Ireland still loves her dad - lots of abused children love their parents and try to cover for them. It is so sad and although the message should not have been leaked, because this kid is going to be so embarassed at school, it shows what a hothead he really is.
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Keep it up Alec. And she's is going to end up "on the pole," -- being a stripper.
Girls need loving relationships from their daddies where they are treated like princesses. That way they pick men that treat them as special.
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#33
Interesting that people are focusing on Kim's behavior, and her pushing her child to feel alienated from her father. I can relate to experience on this point.

My father was very bitter about the fact that his and my mother's relationsip dissolved the way it did, and he was extremely bitter. My parents shared custody and every time I was over there, he would tell me what a horrible person my mother was. He told me that my mother was the reason why we weren't a family. I would always ask my mother about these accusations, and she would refuse to answer and she would never speak badly about my father.

As I grew into a teenager, I started to believe the stuff my dad was saying. I became bitter. Why wasn't my family together. I began to lash out at my mother (it must be her fault, if she's so reserved!). Worse things than not picking up the phone when she called.

Now that I'm an adult, one thing that I really appreciate about my mother is that she never cursed me out or threatened me (although I arguably deserved it) and she never badmouthed my father back (although I did get punished). She realized that I was going through a hard time, like she, and she needed to be the grownup. My mother had an incredible peace and maturity throughout that trying time that it would do others well to have.
 
#34
compulsivepurse said:
I think it was by far an inappropriate thing to say, but heck, my mom used to say a lot worse than that. How do we know he didn't jump on the phone 5 minutes later and apologize like crazy in the next message? That's what a lot of parents do, yell and then apologize. It sounds to me like he had a very hard time getting to the phone, and Kim makes sure that Ireland misses the phone calls. People make mistakes. I hate to judge him on one phone call.
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I agree. We don't know the whole story. These bad relations with Kim has been going on for a long time. I wouldn't rule out the possibility that Kim would do something to make the relationship between Ireland and Alec rough (ex. as mentioned above making sure she misses the calls, or even worse badmouthing the dad all the time).
 
#35
But it doesn't matter if Kim has anything to do with it.
In fact, if she does, it makes it all the more important that he NOT treat his daughter this way as it's her Mom's fault, NOT HERS.

A child should not have been on the receiving end of that message.
 
#36
^^^Agreed, Swanky. Perhaps some people are confusing reason with justification. Basinger's actions may be the reason why Baldwin is lashing out at his daughter, but is not a justification for it. Ireland's a child, and he shouldn't be cursing her or talking to her as if she's an adult. This is probably trying for all them, but the difficulty does not justify his actions.
 
#37
bchleo said:
^^^Agreed, Swanky. Perhaps some people are confusing reason with justification. Basinger's actions may be the reason why Baldwin is lashing out at his daughter, but is not a justification for it. Ireland's a child, and he shouldn't be cursing her or talking to her as if she's an adult. This is probably trying for all them, but the difficulty does not justify his actions.
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ITA! Nothing can justify speaking to his daughter like that! My God he called her "a little pig" :wtf:
 
#38
couturecreature said:
I understand it really is not right to say all those things to your daughter, but we don't know the true story and the struggles he faced fighting the custody battles with his ex-wife. He obviously loves his daughter a lot, and if you read the phone conversation, he might have been in a situation where it was hard to get to a phone. Besides his daughter already knew that he'll be calling and yet did not bother to keep the appointment.
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ITA, it's a horrible situtation. It's sad when parents can't put aside their anger for the sake of their child.

It is appalling what he said, but I really have no doubt the mother has done her share to drive hime to such anger.
 
#39
couturecreature said:
I understand it really is not right to say all those things to your daughter, but we don't know the true story and the struggles he faced fighting the custody battles with his ex-wife. He obviously loves his daughter a lot, and if you read the phone conversation, he might have been in a situation where it was hard to get to a phone. Besides his daughter already knew that he'll be calling and yet did not bother to keep the appointment.
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that's understandable but what he did was unacceptable!! and there's really no excuse for it. That's verbal abuse and it leads to emotional scars.
 
#40
bchleo said:
^^^Agreed, Swanky. Perhaps some people are confusing reason with justification. Basinger's actions may be the reason why Baldwin is lashing out at his daughter, but is not a justification for it. Ireland's a child, and he shouldn't be cursing her or talking to her as if she's an adult. This is probably trying for all them, but the difficulty does not justify his actions.
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exactly.
 
#41
I think we really cant judge the situation because we dont know all the details. That was a very harsh phone call, and its very upsetting to hear and I couldnt imagine being an 11 yr old and having my father say that to me. But at the same time we dont know all the facts, or what happened leading up to and after the phone call. I think its so sad that Kim Basinger leaked the message, its enough for a child to have to go through a divorce but to have to deal with all this kinda crap is absolutely ridiculous. Alec and Kim both need to grow up and act responsibly for the welfare of their child.
 
#42
I see it as a father that truly loves his daughter and is just frustrated terribly with the entire situation. He had a lapse in judgement but we all do. If I go back and remember the things my mother and father may have said to me when I was in my 'funky years'...lol. Ages 12-15 or so..it was worse than what he said. Many times I deserved it because I was a brat by my own admission. Sometimes we can drive our parents nuts. My parents are the most loving individuals in this world and I have no doubt they love me dearly until this day.

I don't speak to my children in a rude manner but our oldest is getting to that age where he's getting a smart mouth at times (He's 13) and BOY do I have to hold my tongue...lol. It's just my nature that I am calm and patient and fun loving...I can't imagine what it would be like if by nature I were not so good natured...lol.
Anyway, I feel sorry for all involved. It's sad for Alec and for the daughter. Being a parent isn't easy and when you add the stress of divorce and a nasty one at that..I can't even imagine what that stress must be like.
At least he is trying to contact his daughter...SOME men wouldn't even bother! I give him that credit.
 
#43
I'm watching the news right now and they just aired a snippet of that message. The things he said to that poor child. I can only imagine how she felt while having to listen to that from her own father. Isn't it enough she's in a middle of a custody battle? And for her father to say such horrible things to her. I highly doubt he'll win his case.
 
#45
I don't know, as far as I'm concerned I don't need to know the whole story to know this was out of line. If someone has that much difficulty controlling their anger they really should not interact with other humans. I personally wouldn't take his calls either. I don't care who leaked it, etc. and I don't assume that Kim did. He sounds like a poor parent in this instance, period. A child at that age has such self esteem issues and is just trying to figure out who she is, etc. And loving dad tells her you are a pig? No excuse.
 
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