advice =***( sorry, long post

  1. :sad:

    hello all ..this is my first post. ive been on the purseforum for a while but have not posted until today..

    im just going through a horrible horrible patch..let me give u guys some history..my on and off bf of 8 years and i were currently trying to work things out..we had started dating (if you wanna call it that) again, and things were better than they had ever been...he has major commitment issues, thus the reason we were on and off..however, we always seemed to come back to each other and i truly believed he was my soulmate. on nye, we had a huge fight and i told him i had enough, that i wanted him to leave me alone, but he said he couldnt do that and he wanted to make things all right. i decided to give him a chance..

    so we had been hanging out almost every day for the past month and things were GREAT. we have the same circle of friends and we decided to go clubbing w/ one of our friends friday night. before going, i made sure he wanted me there, cuz it was gonna be 3 guys and me, and i didnt wanna intrude on their "guys night out" and he assured me that i wouldnt be intruding and that he wanted me to come. well, at the club, he started hitting on a girl in front of me and went to go buy her a drink. obviously, i got mad and started yelling at him. i guess he thought since we had no official title, it was ok for him to do that. well he got SO mad at me for getting mad at him, he left the club. i followed him outside to talk to him about it, and for the first time in his life, he cussed me out, called me so many names, and got SO mad at me for making him look stupid in front of the girl he was hittiing on. in our 8 year history, he had never so much as even raised his voice at me, and so i was SHOCKED. he said the most hurtful things in the worst language, even though he knows how much i hate it when people curse. he told me to leave him and his friends alone, and he never wants to talk to me again, that nothing he had w/ me mattered, cuz he was sleeping w/ 5 or 6 girls at the same time, and i had no right to tell him who he could hit on..and then he left me in the middle of downtown by myself with no phone. i had to walk back to the club alone in downtown (which isnt very safe) and find our friend who had my phone, and then call someone to pick me up.

    ofcourse, i SHOULD hate him but im so incredibly hurt that i cant even bring myself to do that. i just feel so broken cuz i dunno how its possible to hurt someone that cares about u SO much. i dont see why he was so adamant about me giving him a chance if he was gonna turn around and act like this... we hung out all day friday and everything was COMPLETELY good. this sudden anger seemed to come from no where. i admit that maybe i shouldnt have yelled at him for hitting on that girl, but i still feel he overreacted. if he had even a little bit of tenderness towards me, he would not have left me alone like he did. but i dont know whats wrong w /me cuz i still miss him and im wondering what my fault was. what did i to to get that kind of reaction? hes so mad that he wont answer my phone calls, hes blocked me online, and wont reply to any texts.

    any advice would be appreciated, i just feel like im walking thru the day w/o really experiencing anything
     
  2. Hugs, because you feel so sad now.

    Please stop feeling bad and wondering if you did anything wrong. You did everyting right, except get back with this moron. Obviously, your old bf is not in love with you, does not respect you or your feelings, and treats you like dirt. However, you should not feel bad, because he is not worth your love. There was never love or any meaningful relationship between you two. Therefore, you never lost anything. Why lament on the loss of something that you never had to begin with. Move on. Be happy. Meet other men, REAL men this time.

    In the future when you look back, you'll understand what I just wrote above, and you will be laughing silly for even sheding a tear on this loser.

    Again, hugs to you for feeling bad, even for no reasons. Cheer up, girl!
     
  3. ITA with her :yes:
    *hugs* you are better off without him,he doesn't deserve you.
    you will find your true soulmate :heart: just have to wait a little sometimes ;)
     
  4. He doesnt deserve you.If he cusses you out once..Itll only happen again,you will eventually find a better man!
     
  5. what irks me the most is how can he blame this all on me? how can he be mad enough at me to not talk to me when hes the one (in my opinion) who messed up? i dont even understand the thought process there
     
  6. I guess I'm confused as to how he could think it's ok if he hit on a girl in front of you. I dated my son's mom for 8 years, and even after we broke up and she had moved on to the next guy, I STILL didn't hit on girls in front of her. Well, blatantly that is. I've talked to girls out of her earshot and got their number without her knowing, but again, that wasn't in front of her.
    From what you say, he sounds like a douchebag.
     
  7. u probably didnt hit on girls in front of her cuz u have class =) which is more than i can say about him..he has MAJOR control issues so im guessing he got mad that i was telling him what to do when i got mad at him for hitting on a girl in front of me.he kept yelling "who the hell do u think u are that ur telling me who i can hit on, u have no ring on ur finger, ur not my wife, ur not my girlfriend, u have no right to tell me who i can and cannot talk to" ..i kept telling him that if he had wanted to go out to pick up girls, he shouldnt have asked me to come, but he kept arguing that i just made him look stupid in front of the girl...

    i feel like there might be something eles behind it cuz i dunno how its possible to get SO angry at this, but maybe thats cuz im only seeing it from my point of view. but i have no clue what might be behind all the anger cuz things seemed fine to me
     
  8. Run, do not walk, away from this nutcase. Please. Even if you have been friends for a long time. Friends do not act this way toward each other. There are plenty of other guys out there who don't have these issues and aren't loose cannons. Hurry!
     
  9. Because he knows that you are the type of girl who has some degree of self doubt and will fall for it (I don't mean that to sound critical, just true:heart: ). The buying another girl a drink is a deal breaker. Even if you were not together a gentleman would not do that in front of you just out of consideration. See, we think that if we break up with someone it should feel good, cause we did the right thing. That is never the case. So, you need to be willing to stay away and endure the pain. It will cease eventually, then you can find someone who is not an ill mannered half wit.
     
  10. Stop calling him. Stop texting him. Stop trying to IM him. This is clearly a person you don't need in your life. He probably did this to you because he knew he could do it and you would be right back, calling and texting. And you were. Don't give him the satisfaction. Move on to someone who won't use you and treat you poorly.
     
  11. i know thats what i should do, i just dont understand why its so hard for me. hes obviously a horrible person who doesnt deserve me even thinking about him and i KNOW that but i dont know why i feel so sad. i
     
  12. It is normal to feel sad. You have been together, on and off, for eight years. That is a long time! On top of that, I am sure you feel sad about the way he yelled at you. You said he had never done anything like that before, so it must have been quite a shock and very upsetting. You should feel sad right now, but that definitely doesn't mean you should be with him. You will feel much better in the long run if you just let him go.
     
  13. I know how you feel. I put up with verbal/emotional abuse for way over a year. I knew things weren't right, I knew he was not somebody I really wanted to be with in the long-run, but I was still very affected by it. It's odd how our brain/heart works.
     
  14. I STILL didn't hit on girls in front of her. Well, blatantly that is. I've talked to girls out of her earshot and got their number without her knowing, but again, that wasn't in front of her.
    From what you say, he sounds like a douchebag.[/QUOTE]

    LOL! Charles, you're a riot!
     
  15. Diorprincess

    I understand why you feel hurt; you thought this guy was your friend. He obviously has no manners or maturity. He's really not worth your time!