Adoption

  1. Since this is a pregnancy/parenting subforum, I would like to ask people what their views are on adoption.

    1. Are you adopted, or have siblings who are adopted?

    2. Would you adopt a child if you and your partner were biologically incapable of having children? Would you adopt even if you could have biological children or already had them?

    3. If you did want to adopt, would ethnicity /race be a factor in your adoption? Would you prefer to adopt a child who shares the racial heritage of either you or your partner?

    4. Would you like your adoptive child to have contact with their biological parents or have an 'open adoption'?

    I have a sister-in-law who was adopted after her adoptive parents had three biological children. She has a close relationship with her adoptive parents and does not know who her biological parents are.

    I also have a close friend who is unable to have children and wishes to adopt a baby girl from China. Her parents and family are truly against her and want her to adopt a 'white' baby if she really has to.
     
  2. 1. no, I do have an adopted cousin though :biggrin:
    2. yes and maybe
    3. no, for me it wouldn't be a factor, DH disagrees.
    4. w/o having experience w/ it, I'd say no, not until they were older.

    your last sentence is so sad to me, but people can't change who they are or how they feel.
    My DH said that if weren't able to conceive he only wanted to adopt a baby that closely resembled us. There's no changing someone's mind on that I don't think.
     
  3. 1. Are you adopted, or have siblings who are adopted? Nope, I'm not adopted but Bart has a few brothers and sisters that are adopted.

    2. Would you adopt a child if you and your partner were biologically incapable of having children? Would you adopt even if you could have biological children or already had them? Adoption would be an option, yes. I'm not sure if I would adopt now, since Julia is a handful, but I wouldn't cross out the idea entirely!

    3. If you did want to adopt, would ethnicity /race be a factor in your adoption? Would you prefer to adopt a child who shares the racial heritage of either you or your partner? The good person in me wants to say no, that race wouldn't be an issue - but I do think I would like to have a Caucasian child. What do you mean by racial heritage?

    4. Would you like your adoptive child to have contact with their biological parents or have an 'open adoption'? I don't think I would be comfortable with an open adoption, but I would let my child know that they were adopted and that when they were of age, they could try and contact their biological parents if they wished to.
     
  4. Since this is a pregnancy/parenting subforum, I would like to ask people what their views are on adoption.

    1. Are you adopted, or have siblings who are adopted? I'm not adopted but my husband and his non-biological siblings are.

    2. Would you adopt a child if you and your partner were biologically incapable of having children? I would have adopted but it was extremely important for my husband to have biological children.Would you adopt even if you could have biological children or already had them? Yes.

    3. If you did want to adopt, would ethnicity /race be a factor in your adoption? Would you prefer to adopt a child who shares the racial heritage of either you or your partner? I don't think so as I know several people that have adopted children outside their race.

    4. Would you like your adoptive child to have contact with their biological parents or have an 'open adoption'? Maybe when they're older...I really don't know. DH has no desire to meet his biological family. He says that his parents are his parents!

    I have a sister-in-law who was adopted after her adoptive parents had three biological children. She has a close relationship with her adoptive parents and does not know who her biological parents are.

    I also have a close friend who is unable to have children and wishes to adopt a baby girl from China. Her parents and family are truly against her and want her to adopt a 'white' baby if she really has to. That is rather sad, IMO... a child is a child.
     
  5. This would not probably apply much for American most of who were of 'mixed' heritage i.e. my SO is part Italian, and part German-Dutch.

    But, for example, if you were Italian, would you want to adopt only an Italian child? I'm from Sri Lanka but there is a vast difference to my parents or relatives if I say "I'm adopting a Sri Lankan child" and "I'm adopting an Indian child" even though our faces and coloring appears much the same to people from India.
     
  6. I would absolutely adopt a child. If DH and I are not successful in having a second biological child we will probably go this route (and maybe even anyway if we decide to have 3)
    Race is not a consideration for me, I would just like a healthy child, my only preference would be a newborn or a child as young as possible.
    I don't have any experience with adoption through friends or family but I feel that there are so many wonderful children in the world who are born into families that can't take care of them. I would love to be able to give one of them a home.
    If their biological parents were stable, normal people, I would probably allow them contact, however if the relationship would be damaging or hurtful to the child then I would not support it. When the child was an adult, I would allow them to make that choice for themselves.
     
  7. 1.) Nope, not adopted. No one in my immediate or extended family is adopted.

    2.) I can't really answer these questions fully and well since I'm not keen on ever having biological children, and I wouldn't know how I would feel if I couldn't conceive (I often wonder if I'd be more maternal if I wasn't able to have children). But if I ever had a maternal instinct (still trying to find that one, haha), I'll definitely consider adopting over having a natural child. I know my opinion has caused some controversy with my Christian friends.

    3.) No, race wouldn't be an issue, although I can understand why it would be for some people. I don't want to come off as mean-spirited or anything, but I know that race can determine whether or not a child will be adopted/how soon the child will be adopted. It's really heartbreaking to see children who don't even ask to be born being left in these adoption centers waiting for a family...and yes, this is coming from someone who for sure does not want any biological children (don't even get me started on how gay people have to overcome difficulties just to adopt kids...grr....)! My strongest preference, though, is for the child to be a baby or really young.

    4.) Hmm...I'd say no unless the child is older and wants to find his/her biological parents. It's their right, I believe, at that point.
     
  8. 1. Are you adopted, or have siblings who are adopted?

    I'm not but my Mum has three brothers and sisters that were adopted, all of a different race to that of her own.

    2. Would you adopt a child if you and your partner were biologically incapable of having children? Would you adopt even if you could have biological children or already had them?

    If I couldn't have children, then yes adoption would be something I'd definitely want to do. If I could have children of my own would adoption still be a possibility? I'm not sure right now (I'm a long way from wanting a kid in any way shape or form) but I think it's always a possibility as I think giving a child who's already out there and has been created a home is a great thing to do.

    3. If you did want to adopt, would ethnicity /race be a factor in your adoption? Would you prefer to adopt a child who shares the racial heritage of either you or your partner?

    Not at all. I've read so many articles about people adopting little girls in China, and then theres the whole Angelina Jolie family too and I think wow that's such a beautiful and interesting thing to do. My Aunties and Uncles that were adopted from different backgrounds are as much a part of the family as my Mums seven other brothers and sisters!

    4. Would you like your adoptive child to have contact with their biological parents or have an 'open adoption'?

    I think it's important to let them decide whether or not they want contact with their biological parents when they're old enough to make the decision themselves, and understand the factors involved. I know from friends and family that meeting your biological parents isn't always a great experience, but I'd always support any child in what they decided.
     
  9. 1. Are you adopted, or have siblings who are adopted?

    No

    2. Would you adopt a child if you and your partner were biologically incapable of having children? Would you adopt even if you could have biological children or already had them?

    Yes and yes

    3. If you did want to adopt, would ethnicity /race be a factor in your adoption? Would you prefer to adopt a child who shares the racial heritage of either you or your partner?

    No

    4. Would you like your adoptive child to have contact with their biological parents or have an 'open adoption'?

    No