Adoption?

  1. I was just wondering if any of you have thoughts/opinions/experience with adoption? My fiance and I plan to adopt in the future, and it has sparked some interesting (read: heated/racist) discussions with members of both our families. We are hoping to adopt internationally, and it seems alot of people feel that is unamerican:shrugs:. What are your thoughts?
     
  2. I think it's more unAmerican to judge who ** someone else chooses to adopt.

    I'd lvoe to adopt, bgut we're finished w/ our family.
    I would adopt in or out of teh USA, makes no difference to me.
    A child needs a home, and I have one to give. . .
    color or culture wouldn't play into for me personally.

    You're in a tough spot as when the family isn't pleased they're tough to live with.
    But you have to listen to YOUR heart and follow it, otherwise you may never be truly happy.
     
  3. In my work and personal life I seem to be surrounded by happy adoption stories. My SO and his sister were both adopted from w/in the US, my boss was adopted and I work with 4 people that have adopted internationally with amazing experiences. Most recently was from Guatemala and it took them less then a year to get Marina. They couldn't be happier.
    To give a child that needs a family the opportunity to thrive is an amazing gift. You and your fiance should make the decision based on your heart and not what irrational opinions your/his family may have. It's your family! Just remember to follow your heart.
     
  4. How can that possibly be unamerican? How quickly people forget where we come from. Hopefully your families will learn to love whatever child you and your fiance bring into your lives, and will just that child just the same as any other relative. Sorry, I don't have any personal experience with adoption.
     
  5. I really don't see how it's un-American? Adopting a baby in the U.S. is very difficult, especially if you want specific traits (white, infant, boy, girl, etc.). My cousin was on the list for years and years and never got a baby.

    The little girl I babysit was adopted from Russia. She's the cutest thing in the entire world. Her family had a really positive adoption experience with a great agency.

    There are tons of great resources online & on amazon. If you adopt from Russia, the book The Russian Word for Snow is a great firsthand account of the international adoption process.
     
  6. I say 'more power to you'!!! Don't let others dictate your life! If you follow through, regardless of where, enjoy your beautiful addition!!
     
  7. I think that you and your SO are wonderful for planning on adopting a child! I hope to have the opportunity some day. It's also very noble of you to ask and accept opinions, but ultimately, whatever they think should not matter. Family members will always talk...they are so hard to please!

    Hang in there, and don't let anyone spoil your hope or happiness on adopting a child--from anywhere that's possible. Wish you both the best!
     
  8. the topic of international adoption has come up when talking to a few friends, and some told me almost the same thing about it being un-American. However, their reasoning was that there are so many orphans in this country that you should help them first before going international. With how difficult it is to adopt a newborn or a baby in the U.S, i say go international! I've always wanted to adopt a baby from either China or Russia, they're soooo cute :smile:
     
  9. I think that it's scary when people ask things like, "Why don't you adopt a child from America?"
    First of all, a child is a child, you know? We can't just browse through catalogs like we're ordering merchandise. I'd say adopt the child that you feel a connection to, regardless of where that child is from.
     
  10. Thank you all for your replies! I think the real reason behind our families' dislike of the idea is lineage: We are both the "end of the line" so to speak...however, they left it up to the black sheep in both of the families to continue the bloodline! We both entered into our relationship with the idea that we didn't care to have biological children, when there were so many that needed homes already. I am drawn to Vietnam to adopt (don't really know why...it just feels right), and my fiance is interested in China. I hope we can do both, it really depends on how many children we end up wanting.
    I am glad to have the comfort of my future MIL, she seems to understand and support my ideas. I don't plan on letting the rest of the family sway my decision, I just wonder if the feelings they all have now will continue to be there when we actually have the child. My biggest concern is my father...great, intelligent man...but racist as can be. Who would want a grandfather that talks down to them because they came from a different culture?
     
  11. My admittedly controversial opinion is that there are so many unwanted children in the world, already born, that wanting to adopt one of them is an excellent sign that you are choosing to be a parent for the right reason - wanting to raise a child, as opposed to wishing to perpetuate your DNA simply because it is yours and/or your partner's, which smacks not a little of vanity, especially considering the circumstance of all those already-born and unwanted children.
     
  12. ^^So true, ShimmaPuff.

    I just want a child that I can teach, love and raise to be a good person in the world. I don't feel that I need to procreate to do that. In fact, ever since I was little, I just never pictured myself having babies, it was always adoption for me.
     
  13. My biggest fear used to be that:
    1) I would never find a husband
    2) I would never have children.

    I decided that if I ever landed in that situation I would either adopt a baby..or might even consider artificial insemination. I'm not sure how easy it is for single people to adopt children here in Germany, but..yeah. I'm having a baby now, so adoption isn't anywhere in my near future...But I would love to give a child a home and all the love that he or she would need!
     
  14. As for international adoption, I think a lot of people go that route because it may be easier (faster) to get a baby from Russia, Ukrane, Romania, etc than an American baby since all of the red tape and the rights that many women who are thinking of giving up their children have. Those rights make it "risky" for adoptive parents to adopt within the US because the mother could (in some situations) ask for her child back after you have already bonded with it.

    I think it's great that you are thinking about adoption and you are doing a great service for a child who needs a home and a loving mommy!
     
  15. :yes: I so agree with you. I think it's selfish not adopt and have felt this way for a very long time. I just see it as, there's some many children who need good homes and the world is so overcrowded. :sad: I'm sure most won't agree, but those are my personal feelings. I've always wanted to adopt.