A Large Romantic Dilema.

  1. Ok, I guess I should start at the beginning.....I've known both of these guys since I was a tiny kid, we've been friends all of our lives. (However they don't know each other.)

    So last year, April 05, I bump into the younger of the two (Who is still 3 years older than me), John-Mark at the hospital when his Uncle was dying from Bone Cancer. At the funeral home after his uncle has passed away his mom told my mom all that he'd said in the car on the way home about how "beautiful" he thought I was....blah blah blah. Somewhere I muscle up the courage to him my number and we were together, pretty seriously (not physical or anything like that, just really seriously in love with each other), for about 3 months afterwards. Then he goes off to this thing for school (HS) for the remainder of the summer (5 weeks) and about a week into it, he leaves me. It took me a year, and the other guy, to get "over him."

    The other guy, Isaac, is 5 years my senior and is the son of the pastor of my church (who has been the pastor three times before!) (P.S. he's also a preacher himself). I developed a crush on him when I was 11 and for the past 6 years he's been everything for me. Even when I was dating John-Mark, Isaac was always in the back of my head even though we weren't close anymore.

    Now that Isaac's dad is back as our pastor, things are "heating up" between Isaac and myself. Body Language says any day now he's gonna do something, but....I'm still a lil nervous that I'm just jumping to what I want and not to what's really happening.

    But then there is the bane of my existance, her name is Amy. She also goes to church with me and Isaac and goes to college with John-Mark. A couple of weeks ago, John-Mark's church was doing something that he didn't want to attend so he came to ours. This throws me into a tail spin because, in spite of myself, I still really like him. I'll admit it. I'm not in love with him anymore. I cried too violently for too long over him to still love him. But Isaac....oh God in Heaven, Isaac.

    Anyway, this Amy chick-a-dee whatever has the hots for Isaac big time. She attends church functions that she never has before because she thinks he'll be there. Wednesday night services (she only did it once and when he wasn't there, she never came back), Christmas Caroling (I should have slapped her), Church picnics and church suppers.....she is a strictly Sunday Morning person....now she's making the effort at Sunday School, which is alright I guess but up until she laid eyes on him she didn't give a ****.


    She drives me up the wall. Later that week I get on John-Mark's facebook page and see that she has left him a seductive message....sunday night. After she saw him and I together....

    I know it's not the christian thing to hate a person, but she really is like quicksand. She's like some poision. She drives me up the wall mad. She sits slumped over all the time looking around me to see Isaac.

    (Funny story:
    In our Sunday School rooms we sit on old pews....no desks or anything, and Isaac and I sit next to each other and Little Miss Muffet sits next to me. No assigned seating, that's jus the way it falls. And one Sunday I was doing something and not paying attention to my Sunday School Book on my lap and it slides off onto the floor. Isaac sort of snickers at me, so I reach down, pick it up and playfully whack him with it. About 2 minutes later Amy leans down to look around me at Isaac and THROWS her book on the floor! THROWS IT! And then says "Whoospy." Isaac doesn't even look at her. It was funny. I almost laughed out loud.)


    She's just....I've known her my whole life and I've never found anything about her I like. I'm sorry....I just don't care for her in the least degree. I've tried to be her friend but it just doesn't work.


    I'm jealous because Amy is invading John-Mark and as his last girlfriend I still have dibs on the ol' boy and his next girlfriend has to be "approved by me!" (Just kidding.) I'm amazing myself that I'm jealous. Literally amazed.

    And I get plain MAD when she grabs Isaac and yaks his ear off. There was one church picnic we had....me and him were talking the whole way out of the church and across the parking lot to the picnic shelter and then once we get out there she starts gabbing and he's stuck the entire meal. Her mouth never stopped running. And then when he and I finally hooked up again, she came in and SAT DOWN BETWEEN US! How rude was that?!

    HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME!

    Missy
     
  2. Concentrate on the matter at hand....Isaac...leave Amy to the ex!!
     
  3. Like what she said^^. Something's gotta give.
     
  4. Got to agree with the others, Leave your ex in the past! Pay attention to Isaac! Ignore Amy, if she wants John-Mark, then let her have him, and if you want Isaac, then you go for him!
     
  5. The way u talk about Isaac seem like you are falling in love for him and he seem to be a great guy.. If you really like him fight for him and try to it little official to be his gf.

    wish you all the best, u seem to be a nice sweet girl yourself :smile:
     
  6. What exactly is the dilemma?

    Let the first boy go - stick a fork in him, he's done. Ignore the silly attention-seeking girl. Focus on the guy you want, and go for it!

    I have to say though, 5 years is a pretty big age difference for someone in high school. Older men are wonderful, but be careful with your heart, girl.
     
  7. Well he's 22 and I'm about to turn 17 and I'm already a Senior in HS, when you think about it it doesn't sound so horrible. Not so much as 16 and 24 (which is one of my buddies age diff. with her bf.).

    Yeah, I'm definatly falling in love with Isaac.....but when I'm around John-Mark....things feel normal.....and see that's where my Meredith Grey situation kicks in! McDreamy or McVet? In my case McDreamy or McBlondie. (JM is blonde.) When I'm around McDreamy, being Isaac, I can't imagine being with anyone else. The only problem is who knows if he feels anything for me officially. Other than body language there's not a lot to go on.

    I don't know what to say.


    Missy
     
  8. ^^ Missy.. since u're about to turn 17.. i think u should take things slow and see what happens.. I think if u like one of them more then u wont have this dilema.. take it slow :smile:
     
  9. Hands down, I like Isaac more. I can't even think about him, let alone LOOK at him, without just breaking into this ridiculous grin and getting warm and tingly all over. It's just I have history with John-Mark.

    At this particular moment, I know that Amy isn't an issue, since I've discovered her boyfriend. She brought him to church once and claimed he was just a friend. On her facebook page he is listed as her boyfriend.So I feel alright.

    Also at this particular moment I'm like, John-Mark who?

    Isaac is the one I want.

    Now my large romantic dilema is how to get him to see it and do something about it!


    Missy
     
  10. Be wary of any 22 year old man who wants to date a 17 year old, IMO. Stick with boys your own age, until you are out of high school.
     
  11. I understand your concern. But you don't live around here. The guys here are backer chewin' (tobacco) mullet wearin unwashed unlearned farmboys who honestly aren't worth my time. John-Mark is the exception. Isaac is from another town in a neighboring state. (I live like 10 minutes from the KY/TN line on the KY side. Isaac is a TN boy) I grew up really fast and have nothing in common with guys my age.
     
  12. I have to agree with this... what is a normal 22 year old man going to want with a 17 year old? There's not much to relate on with that much of an age difference when one of the people is still in highschool.
     
  13. I disagre . If you are a mature 17 year old 22 is definitely not a big difference. IMO a 5 year age difference is a great difference. I always thought that guys my age are pretty immature. MY bf and I have a 7 year age difference and it is definitely a plus and not a big age difference. It might sound big but it is definitely not. Go for the more mature man and not your ex.

    Just remember this is not Greys anatomy and your life isn't a TV drama. Think things through and don't even pay attention to that girl Amy. Its pathetic and you are better than that. Good luck honey. But definitely stay away from the drama. Don't fall in love with someone too fast cause most likely its lust and hormones. Spend some time with Isaac forget about your ex and take things slow.
     
  14. Thanks for all the advie ya'll. I appreciate you taking the time to deal with me.


    As for the big age difference questions....1) 5 years is SO not a big deal. My parents are 5 years apart...my best friends parents are 5 years apart....another friend, her parents are 11 years apart! And they've all lasted into the 20+ year mark.

    2) Like I said earlier, the guys around here, that are my age, are idiots. Complete nimrods. I wouldn't waste a dog I liked on them!

    3) Again like I said earlier, I grew up fast. My parents have their own business so I was there all the time when I was little and when I was 7 all of my grandparents (minus my paternal grandfather, who passed away when I was 9 months old) started to get sick so I spent a lot of time in hospitals, and don't think that won't grow ya up in a hurry! And then I started homeschooling at 6th grade because school was just not really cutting the mustard for me. Plus I was deathly ill a lot.

    But anyway.....

    Isaac and I have a lot more in common than you think right off the bat. Our hobbies are practically identical....except he likes to do 100 mile marathons on his bicylce, swim with allegators in the Gulf and do Martial arts. We like a lot of the same things and have the same opinion about a lot of stuff.

    Anyway I'll just see what happens Sunday morning.


    Missy
     
  15. I totally understand how you feel about guys your age being idiots, I had the same problem. And my mother and stepfather are also 11 years apart and they've lasted about 15 years now. 5 years definitely isn't a big deal when you're talking about 30 and 35 or even 20 and 25. I understand you grew up fast, I feel you on that too, but it's not really a question of that. It's the fact that a 22 year old grown man is trying to date a high school student... am I the only one who sees something off about that? I don't see anything wrong on your end, I see how a mature 17 year old could be attracted to an older man.

    On another note, just relax and things will work out. Try not to stress so much over guys, I spent soooo much time in high school stressing and later realized there was no need to. Have fun and let things happen, you sound like an intelligent, mature girl and I'm sure things will just work themselves out for you. :yes: