8 Simple Rules

  1. Anyone else watch this show? I'm not an avid watcher, but sometimes, if there's nothing else on, I'll watch it on the Family Channel.

    I've loved Katey Segal since Married . . . With Children and Futurama. I thought John Ritter was a wonderful actor (may he rest in peace) and the show wasn't the same without him, even though David Spade is a funny guy.

    Paul was a wonderful dad. He loved his kids very much and tried to do the best he could. He tried to be their father and their best friend.

    Cate is a wonderful mom. She is a loving mother, but she could be very sarcastic when she wanted to be. She is a very strong person. She had to be both mom and dad to her kids when Paul died.

    Bridget is this pretty girl who doesn't always say the smartest things and she can be a little selfish, but once in a while, she'll say something intelligent and she'll do something nice for someone else.

    Kerry's the smart one, but she's not the typical ugly smart girl (there's TOO many of those!) Like Bridget had her occasional 'smart' and 'unselfish' moments, Bridget occasionally had her 'pretty' moments.

    Rory is the youngest. He's not the bratty younger brother, although he can annoy Bridget and Kerry to no end. He felt he had to become the man of the house when Paul died, and that was very hard for him.
  2. [Bridget walks downstairs dressed in tight pants and a short shirt]
    Paul: Uh, Bridget, why are you dressed like that?
    Kerry: Must be casual sex day at school.
    Bridget: Hey, at least I get...
    [Paul turns to Bridget]
    Bridget: ...Look good.
    Paul: Okay, Cupcake, I think you missed the word "under" in underwear because I can see your bra and that slingshot your wearing under your pants.
    Bridget: It's a thong.
    Paul: It's floss.
    Bridget: I can't wear anything else. Panty lines - Hello?
    Paul: Panty lines - Hello, are fine. Actually they were a pretty big deal in my day.
    Bridget: Well, we're the thong generation.
    Paul: Well, maybe that's why your generation is so angry. Your always walking around with a wedgie!

    [a little girl dressed as an angel comes to the door on Halloween accompanied by her father]
    Angel: Trick or Treat! I'm an angel!
    Paul: Yeah, you may be an angel now, but in a few years you're going to be killing your father!
    Angel: Daddy!

    Paul: Rory, you're baking cookies?
    Rory: Big cookies. Man cookies. Cookies with nuts!

    [after Kyle gets off the phone with a girl named Lindsay]
    Kyle: Uh, Mr. Hennessy -...
    Paul: Please, Sensei. Lindsay, huh? You have other girlfriends, Kyle, and that's fine with me.
    Kyle: Sweet!
    Paul: As long as it's okay with my daughter. Otherwise, you will continue to date her and no one but her, until she is finished with you. Because if you make her cry, I will make you cry.

    Cate: [reading Paul's last article] Okay readers, today we're having a little pop quiz, it's multiple choice, so sharpen your number 2 pencils and put your thinking caps on. Ready? Here's a quote: "Dad, you're an idiot." Now, contestants, this was said to me because of which of the following transgressions? A: Coming to the breakfast table wearing pajamas and black socks? B: Asking my oldest daughter if that guy I saw her talking to yesterday at school was her boyfriend? C: Referring to rapper Fiddy Cent as "Fifty Cents"? or D: Entering the room? Okay, pencils down. Actually it was a trick question. The answer is all of the above. Now do you know how many times I called my father an idiot? Zero. Why? Because I feared him. Back then we didn't share our deep personal feelings, our deepest conversations usually revolved around the tigers bull pen. But my kids, I can't get them to shut up! There's not a feeling that my kids are afraid to express over and over and over. And my wife reassures me this is a good thing over and over and over, and she's always right. So do I wish that my kids feared me? Well my house would be quieter, and I'd spend a lot less time in the bathroom, but no. Because I know that whenever they insult me whether it's a "You're an idiot," "You're a geek," or an "I hate you," an "I love you" isn't far behind. And it's the knowledge that my wife and kids love me that makes it safe for me to wear pajamas and black socks to the breakfast table.

  3. Paul: Kerry, sweetie.
    Kerry: What?!!
    Paul: Problem in the coven?

    (Paul is driving the kids to school)
    Bridget: Stop here.
    Kerry: Ugh, do not drop us off out front.
    Bridget: After we walk away, do not roll down the window and shout something out at us.
    Bridget: Or honk.
    Bridget: Or wave.
    Bridget: And don't ever say 'you're welcome' like you're making some sort of brilliant point because we didn't say 'thank you.'

    Paul: Did Bridget do something?
    Kerry: A good sister does not tattle on her sister.
    Paul: You've been sworn to secrecy, haven't you?
    Kerry: A good sister does not tattle on her sister.
    Paul: Did Bridget use the emergency credit card to buy clothes?
    Kerry: (nodding) A good sister doesn't tattle on her sister.

    Kerry: He thinks of me as some sort of virgin spinster, like Miss Havisham.
    (Bridget has a confused look on her face)
    Kerry: Great Expectations…?
    (Bridget’s still confused)
    Kerry: Charles Dickens…?
    (Bridget’s still confused)
    Kerry: A book…?

    Cheerleaders: The owls will stomp...stomp on you!
    Kerry: How exactly does an owl stomp on you? It only weighs like one pound.

    Paul: I'm punishing you for lying to me.
    Bridget: Where? What was the lie?
    Paul: You didn't tell me there weren't going to be any parents at Aaron's party.
    Bridget: OK, as I recall dad, I said "God, we know the rules," and then I rolled my eyes.
    Paul: It was a lie of omission. You can't go to parties where there aren't any parents. You're staying home tonight.
    Bridget: How is it supposed to encourage open and honest communication if I get punished every time I don't tell you something?
    Paul: How could you be possibly be failing three subjects?

    Kerry: Shh...he's watching us. We'd better look like we're thinking. Okay...look contrite.
    Bridget: Okay... (smiles)
    Kerry: No, no...look pensive.
    Bridget: All right...(smiles)
    KerryL Okay, look like you just lost your favorite pair of shoes.
    (Bridget gasps and frowns)

    Bridget: Get him dad! Ground him.
    Kerry: Yeah, tell him you didn’t teach him to act like this.
    Bridget: Make him put on a different top! (Kerry looks at her) I just thought I'd throw that in.

    Rory: Dad, can I get a--
    Paul: No motorcycle. No monkey. No monkey riding a motorcycle.

    Rory: Dad, now I know what I really want – a chemistry set. Think of the explosions… of knowledge in my brain!
  4. those are funny quotes, thanks for sharing! yes i do watch this show since it first aired. i do like bridget's characther, the things that she says just cracks me up.
  5. Paul: Did you see the way she was dressed? What was I thinking? I wanna keep my girls in a convent and here I am giving Rory permission for shore leave.

    Paul: I’m a concerned parent -- Father Bear, as it were. I just want the best for my little cubs so that one day they can spread their wings and fly.
    Principal Connelly: Yes, I too would like to see a bear cub spread its wings and fly.

    (Bridget wrote Paul a note that said, "I HATE YOU")
    Paul: Well, that’s clear and concise. You managed to convey a wealth of emotions in only three words.
    Bridget: My first draft was only two words.

    Kerry: I didn't know you liked to read...[pauses]...I didn't know you could read!

    Kerry: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait... No, no, it's not what you think, is it Bridget?
    Bridget: Uh, no... Yes... Uh... Kyle's....
    Kerry: (Whispering) Gay.
    Bridget: Kyle's gay!
    Paul: He is?
    Kyle: I am? Oh, I mean I am. Very. Oh my, look at those drapes, they're filthy!
    Paul: Wait a minute! You expect me to believe that three single people are living under the same roof and nothing is going to happen because he's gay?
    Kerry: As crazy a premise as that sounds, yes.
    Paul: I'll buy it.

    Bridget: But instead of directing that anger where it belongs, she’s projecting that anger onto me, hence classic projection.
    Cate: Is that right, Kerry?
    Kerry: Bridget took ten dollars out of your purse.

    Bridget: Anybody who sees this will think I'm shallow.
    (Cate, Paul and Rory are looking down and being silent)
    Bridget: (repeating) Anybody who sees this will think I'm shallow.
    (more silence)
    Bridget: Oh my God! you all think I'm shallow!
    Rory: Well we're not looking at our shoes for scuff marks.
    Paul & Cate: Rory!
    Rory: I'm sorry. I'll go upstairs and take a good look at my self...in the mirror, and see what my butt looks like when I'm dancing!

    Paul: What do you like to do for fun, Maggie?
    Maggie: Well, lately, I've been using Ted's personal information to destroy his credit!

    Mrs. Doyle: Maybe you could spend more time with your daughters, so Kerry won't turn out to be a boy-wrecking hussy like Bridget.
    Kerry walks by wearing "Hussy-like" clothing
    Mr. Doyle: Whoa, too late.
    Paul: Hey, my daughter is not a...(looks at Kerry) okay, I can't defend that.

    (giving Bridget advice to attend a "geek party")
    Kerry: And if you're gonna talk, don't say "so," "totally," or "oh my god."
    Bridget: Okay, I can so do that. Oh, I totally just said so! I said so and totally ... OH MY GOD!

    (Jim treats a customer better)
    Kerry: Grandpa, you handled that perfectly
    Jim: Oh, it's easy, Kerry. When I say "sir," I'm thinking "jackass."

    CJ: Excuse me, this was left within my TFSP, Turkey Frier Safety Perimeter. Anything left inside must be either removed or DFed, Deep Fried, stay close people.

    Grandpa: I'm gonna go down to that ****ing agency and give them a peace of my mind. And if that make's me old-fashioned, I don't give a horse's patoot!
    Rory: No. Saying "horse's patoot" makes you old-fashioned.
    Grandpa: Well, how's this, sonny boy? I don't give a rat's a**!
    Rory: That's good. But lose the "sonny boy."

    Cate: You know the weirdest thing is that Rory switched places with his hampster. And Rory did everything the hampster does and the hampster did everything Rory does. (they look at the hampster) Oh my God, what is he doing?
    Bridget: I think he's hampsterbating.

    Bridget: Look, I'm student body president and if you don't give me your cell phone so I can steal a goat, I can have you arrested.
    Ashley: I've been arrested. It's no big deal.
    Bridget: Well I can get your picture removed from the yearbook.
    (Ashley quckly hands over her cellphone)
  6. I love this show, it's aired during the day here in th uk, i watch it when i'm on my own, my fiancee doesnt like it!
  7. I like this show.
  8. oh, I love that show, it has some great moment .... I was absolutely floored when John Ritter died, soooooo sad :crybaby:
  9. I'm a big fan of this! John Ritter was absolutely fantastic, very unfortunate what happened to him.
    This show has changed my mind completley about David Spade, never used to find him funny but I do now!
  10. I really like this show. I actually watched it today - it was one of the old episodes when John Ritter was still around ...
  11. I like it too. Was so sad when John Ritter died. In fact I couldn't watch it for a while but now I'm watching it again and it is really good. David Spade is very funny. I like James Garner too he was great in the Rockford Files.
    He was gorgeous when he was younger.

    I like the kids too