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Oct 15, 2009, 12:41am   #1
shiuri's Avatar
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shiuri
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Hi all,

I have a good idea of what is appropriate and not appropriate to wear to a funeral. But I'm kinda lost in putting an outfit together. I actually don't have anything in my closet so will have to go shopping. Can't decide if I should go with a black dress or black suit skirt or just black slacks. But if I go with a suit skirt or slacks then what will I wear for a top?? Should I just wear a suit? I know some people are super casual and just wear jeans, but I would prefer to wear something more polished out of respect. Oh, and do I have to be decked out in black from head to toes? Help guys!
Oct 15, 2009, 12:49am   #2
samhainophobia's Avatar
samhainophobia
Member
I am sorry for your loss. You should wear whatever you think you will be most comfortable in to pay your respects.

The last two funerals I attended were my grandmother's, and the SO of a dear friend. For my grandmother, I wore a black skirt suit (I could not imagine wearing anything but black at my grandmother's funeral...I was so distraught). I don't remember what blouse I wore. I do remember that I carried a black vintage Chanel flap, and wore an understated pair of black Louboutin heels -- both normally things that I would never do at a funeral, but it was a tribute to my grandmother, in a way, because she was quite a fashionista and we always bonded over clothes, and shopping, and she loved to give me her wonderful vintage items, so I felt that it was fitting.

For my friend's SO's funeral, I wanted to wear my black pantsuit but it was at the cleaner's. I had to make do. I wore a camel turtleneck, a camel and chocolate herringbone pencil skirt, chocolate heels, and a trench coat. I tried to stick with a muted color palette and a dressy, respectful silhouette.

Head-to-toe black is not mandatory, but a muted color palette would be appropriate.

I'd personally always wear at least business casual at the funeral unless the family specifies otherwise, and my default is a suit or a black dress depending on the weather.

Just my $0.02.
Oct 15, 2009, 1:21am   #3
y
yenanh00
Member
Last funeral and my first funeral that I went to was DB's grandpa.. dark gray wool coat, Black button blouse, black slack, black pump, and black clutch.. I wouldnt wear any designer item that would bring attention to myself..
Oct 15, 2009, 2:54am   #4
Bitten's Avatar
Bitten
Chic, not cheap.
Funerals are tough on everyone involved but I always prefer conservative and appropriate over too casual esp. if you aren't immediate family.

I usually wear a black dress, high neck, cap sleeves with a little jacket over the top for during the service esp. church services. Dark glasses and a small black understated bag. I've never worn trousers to a funeral, but that's really just my own personal preference.

The most recent funeral I attended was for the mother of a very close friend (close to his mum too). I wore a black dress with an ivory raw silk jacket - I live in Queensland and head to toe black in spring/summer is not appropriate.
Oct 15, 2009, 3:08am   #5
Archipelago's Avatar
Archipelago
Member
I've only ever been to one funeral. It was for my grandmother. I wore a black cowl neck tunic with black trousers and some black shoes. I would suggest that you just buy something cheap. After I wore my outfit to the funeral, I didn't want to wear them again because they reminded me of the funeral so I just donated them when I was done.
Oct 15, 2009, 5:08am   #6
grayxie's Avatar
grayxie
NOMtacular!
A black sheath dress, with a black cardigan. Both of which you can find at Target if you don't want to spend alot of money.
Oct 15, 2009, 10:15am   #7
G
Gerry
Member
I just went to my mother's funeral on Oct. 12 and I wore a great black Ralph Lauren dress that they sell at Macy's. It was knee length and sleeveless with a split neckline and a skinny patent leather belt. I wore a great Chico's jacket over it and flat Chanel ballerinas with a camelia on the toe. I felt comfortable and appropriate. I hope this helps.
Oct 15, 2009, 5:04pm   #8
shiuri's Avatar
Thread Starter
shiuri
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Hi everyone,

Thanks for all the suggestions. They're all very helpful. It's the Mr.'s grandmother. She's very near and dear to his heart.

I shuffled through my closet today to see what I have. I did find a black dress sitting way back in my closet though. It's pretty understated and conservative. It's got cap sleeves, square neck, hits my knee caps. I probably will end up wearing this dress to the service. I have no idea why I bought this dress in the first place or why it's just been sitting in my closet all this time. I will have to go out and buy a black cardigan or a shrug to wear over it for the service.

I found a couple pairs of black pumps that I haven't worn in while. Neither of these pumps are designer or flashy. But the pumps are peep toes, will that be ok? The other pair is black croc patent...is that ok to wear? I have pair of plain black leather boots (knee high). No patent, no buckles, nothing fancy. Just plain black leather high heel boots...would that a better choice over peep toe or croc patent pumps?

And oddly enough, I don't have a black clutch. I have several designer wristlets. I did find a plain dark purple leather clutch. Is that ok to bring with me?
Oct 15, 2009, 7:59pm   #9
grayxie's Avatar
grayxie
NOMtacular!
I don't think the peep toes, or the boots would be appropriate JMO.
Oct 15, 2009, 8:49pm   #10
olialm1's Avatar
olialm1
windy city
The last funeral I went to I wore a high waisted knee length skirt that ended up RIPPING and I almost mooned everyone. However, I am hoping I don't have to go to another but I would stick with dressy black pants, flats, and a dark cable knit sweater if it's cold.
Oct 15, 2009, 9:36pm   #11
dmitchell15's Avatar
dmitchell15
Member
Wear the black dress with closed toe shoes. Not boots. You do not want to stand out in any kind of way. Unfortunately, I will be "attending" a funeral this Saturday for my BF's dad. Everyone has to wear all black for the service. I plan to wear a pair of black slacks and a conservative black top with black shoes. My jewerly will probably also be very conservative and black (maybe?).

Anyway, I'm so sorry for your lose.

Gerry, I'm so sorry to hear about your mother.
Oct 15, 2009, 10:35pm   #12
shiuri's Avatar
Thread Starter
shiuri
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This is good to know. I definitely do no want to stand out in any way. I will pick up a pair of simple pair of black pumps along with my cardigan.

I was just going to wear pearls. Pearls are safe to wear right? Just thought pearls are classy and conservative. What do you think? Maybe I should skip it?

I am so sorry for everyone's losses. Thank you all again for helping me out.
Oct 15, 2009, 10:47pm   #13
grayxie's Avatar
grayxie
NOMtacular!
Pearls are appropriate, or a nice brooch.
Oct 15, 2009, 10:49pm   #14
p
plain jane doe
Member
I don't think dressing for a funeral needs to be overthought . . . If you question whether it is appropriate, then I would just skip it. I agree on no boots and no open toes; whatever is not appropriate for a traditional workplace is also not appropriate for a funeral. I am not sure about pearls. They are conservative and muted, but they do stand out against black.
Oct 15, 2009, 10:54pm   #15
samhainophobia's Avatar
samhainophobia
Member
I think that pearls are fine.
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