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It is true that leather will stretch, and you don't need to put anything on it or knead it to make that happen; it happens naturally with wear. I have a leather coat that was snug when I bought it and large enough to wear over a sweater after one wearing.
However, it is always a bad policy to buy something leather and DEPEND on it stretching. Leather might be able to stretch one size, but not two, and I doubt you would want to consciously TRY to stretch it. That could lead to an accident (ripping a seam) or uneven stretching.
Unfortunately, this just isn't the right coat for you, but another one WILL turn up and you will be glad you waited. There is no substitute for a good fit.
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