[ilzabet]

let's say you're dining at a family style resturant (applebees, red robin, tgifriday's etc). your dining companion has been finished for quite a while but you are only 3/4 the way through your dinner. your waitress comes by, asks if you'd like any dessert or if there's anything she can bring, then after you both say no, she leaves the check. would this bother you?

i had a table tonight that was SO bothered by this senerio that the slower eater came back to the restaurant and spoke to me about it. at length. she was nice enough, but i tend to be a little sensitive (understatement ) and now it's really bothering me. i can't sleep. yes, i know i'm silly. i'm just curious if it's her personal mission to "educate" waitstaff about her pet peeve, or if it's something that really bothers people...b/c i just follow what i've been trained to do.

thanks y'all.

[Jane Ann]

I'm a slow eater, and it wouldn't bother me in the least. If I needed something else, I would just get the wait person's attention. I wouldn't worry about it.

[Prada Psycho]

If I'm reading this right you were the server, right? Either way, here's my take on this speaking as a "slow-eater":

I have to preface this by saying that most Americans are pigs at the dinner table! They gobble their food up (I wonder if they've even tasted it) and talk with their mouths full of food. THAT drives me insane! As I tell the DH, you can hold your thoughts long enough to empty your mouth. I really don't care to be looking at someone's half chewed dinner in their mouth while I'm eating, ICK! Unfortunately, my daughter picked up that habit too, so when she's in town to visit, I get to echo that "empty your mouth" speech twice.

Anyhoo, back to your question. I used to wait tables decades ago, so speaking from both sides of this, it is in fact, bordering on rude for a server to leave the check until all parties at the table are finished eating. If this is the type of place where the server clears the table themselves, they should clear the table, THEN leave the check. In your situation, you were given permission by your customers to leave the check early. That this woman felt the need to return and go on about her eating habits is another matter, a weird one in fact.

Of course the flip side of this is that you said you had been trained (I assume by the restaurant you work) to leave the check. Considering you ARE working for tips, I don't get that sort of training, because the rule of thumb is to to give the customer their checks after they have finished their meal or when they ask for it (some folks are in a hurry and that's ok too.).

I personally get quite annoyed when a server leaves the check and I'm still eating.

[sw0pp]

I don't really care. It's even better if I pay first then eat... but then again I'm in Europe and seldomly eat in restaurants other than fast food and takeaway stuff...

[IntlSet]

I think that two people with good etiquette will eat at about the same pace. I've always learned it's rude to let someone eat alone. At dinner parties my mom hosted, she always continued eating until the last guest was done.

At restaurants, I keep this mentality. I do try to speed up my eating if it seems like I'm being a slow-poke, but I also expect people to not scarf down their food in 10 minutes then sit around tapping their fingers waiting for me to finish. It's not too hard to keep a decent pace with one another!

[Eugin]

I'm definetely a slow eater especially at home, but eat faster in restaurants since there's less distractions. Everyone just goes at their pace. I don't mind if a waitress/waiter leaves the check at my table before I'm done as long as he/she just asks me to pay the bill whenever I'm ready.

[caitlin1214]

I think the waiter / waitress shouldn't bring the check unless someone asks.

[*suzi*]

I'm a slow eater and love it when they bring my check quickly. I eat so slow that I'm always in a hurry to leave when I'm finally finished:)

[anotheremptysky]

my BF is the slowest eater ever. neither of us mind if they bring the check before we're done, because it seems like whenever we finally are done, we can't find our waiter/waitress.

[Sina]

I'm a slow eater and I prefer to not have the check until I'm done eating, but it doesn't bother me too much. This is also a little off topic, but my sister gobbles her food down so fast, I don't even see her chewing and then she tells me to hurry up and grab her keys and sits there impatiently. UGH!

[Prada Psycho]

^^^As I mentioned above, I'm a slow eater as well and the DH isn't. There IS one exception though and I'd forgotten it until we went out to eat Japanese last night. To his credit, when we go to this particular restaurant, he'll rise to the atmosphere and eat with chopsticks. I've eaten with chopsticks for ages, but it's a newly acquired skill for DH so he's a bit clumsy.

It's the ONLY meal we finish at the same time!

[amy45888]

According to ettiquette (and i did waitress in college) it is not appropriate to:
1. ask if someone is done eating, unless it's clear that they are done (like napkin on table)
2. leave a check on the table until everyone has finished eating.

I guess the concept is that it makes you seem pushy and you want the customers to leave.

Personally, I don't care when anyone leaves me the check. i'd rather it be while i eat (as long as this is not fine dining) so I don't have to wait 10 minutes to find the server and ask for a check

[xikry5talix]

I wouldn't mind. I don't care as long as they make sure to ask if we need anything else before they drop the check.

When I drop off a check, I make sure to make eye contact with one of the people and say, "This is for whenever you're ready. Please take your time." and walk away.

[love,bags]

Ohhh, good question! I am a semi-slow eater (or maybe my BF is a fast eater) and I HATE it when waiters/waitresses ask us if we want our check or want dessert, or want a take-home box , when it's obvious that I'm still eating. I don't make a big fuss about it because it's not really a big deal, but I do find it a little rude because I always wonder, "Can't you see I'm still eating?" It makes me feel that the server thinks I am eating too slowly and am hogging up his/her table! I am not that slow an eater honestly!

So, I think it would be best for servers to wait until it's clear that the guests are done eating, or if someone in the party requests a check early. Just my 2 cents!

[MorningGlory]

I'm a slow eater and it doesn't bother me. Really the only thing that will is when it is clear the server is in a hurry to move us out of the restaurant. But I wouldn't hunt them down to chastise them.