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Old Aug 15th, 2008, 09:11 PM   #1
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Default Etiquette Regarding Seconds?

I've always been curious about this and what people think and do in their own households.

What do you do about seconds? Which is a better idea if someone wants seconds, to let everyone eat their "firsts" and then give everyone--at the same time--the opportunity to get seconds; evenly divided portions? Or to let people go ahead and get seconds as they finish their first portions even though others might want seconds in a few minutes and there might not be enough to go around?

I hope I make sense.

Thanks in advance.
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Old Aug 15th, 2008, 09:16 PM   #2
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I always do it the second way, but I never thought twice about it...I guess now that I think about it, it's not the fairest way of doing things.
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Old Aug 15th, 2008, 09:18 PM   #3
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^^ same here, never really thought ab out it before.
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Old Aug 15th, 2008, 09:21 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by caxe View Post
I've always been curious about this and what people think and do in their own households.

What do you do about seconds? Which is a better idea if someone wants seconds, to let everyone eat their "firsts" and then give everyone--at the same time--the opportunity to get seconds; evenly divided portions? Or to let people go ahead and get seconds as they finish their first portions even though others might want seconds in a few minutes and there might not be enough to go around?

I hope I make sense.

Thanks in advance.
If you are hosting dinner at your house, I would give everyone an option for seconds after the forks are down from their first. Unless you are doing buffet (which I normally do ).
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Old Aug 15th, 2008, 09:26 PM   #5
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Never thought much about it either, but typically, people just take more as they finish, even if others aren't done. In this case, if there is only a small amount available for seconds, the polite thing to do would be to ask if anyone else would like some more before taking the remaining portion for yourself.

To me, it doesn't make sense to make people wait around for others to finish before having seconds, especially if some people are really slow eaters, and some may not even finish their portion.

I rarely eat seconds, anyway, so it wouldn't matter to me if someone took more food.
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Old Aug 15th, 2008, 09:40 PM   #6
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I let people take seconds whenver they're done. I've figured out most of the family's eating habits and make sure i make enough. For first time guests, I always overcook! I like to have extra but never less.
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Old Aug 15th, 2008, 09:51 PM   #7
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I let people take seconds whenver they're done. I've figured out most of the family's eating habits and make sure i make enough. For first time guests, I always overcook! I like to have extra but never less.
I'm just like this. I noticed that people who eat faster generally take a second portion because they don't feel full yet. A slower eater feels full after about 20 min and generally won't eat seconds. When I have guests, I always cook enough so they can take some food home, so seconds really don't matter. With me and my DH, I always give him the extra food since he's like a foot taller than me and needs about 600 extra calories.
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Old Aug 15th, 2008, 09:59 PM   #8
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Bf and I just had an argument about that. We just went out for dinner and decided to share our entrees. He is a super fast eater and I am a super slow eater so I don't mind when he's on his second helping when I am not quite done my first. Tonight, he went on to his fourth helping without asking me if I wanted any and effectively cleared the dishes before I even finished my first helping. I gave him the evil eye and he said it doesn't matter since it's okay to do this with family and close friends. He said we could order another entree if I was still hungry. Hmmm... one of my pet peeves.

I had an old college roommate who does the same thing. We will order something to share and she eats the dish like she hasn't had anything to eat in days. I don't think she notices that she's not sharing. All of us still talk about it (not in front of her, of course) and refuse to share anything at a restaurant with her anymore.

In any case, I think you should either make way too much of what you want to serve or serve seconds after everyone is finished in case you have guests who are oblivious to the other people at the table.
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Old Aug 15th, 2008, 10:01 PM   #9
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If I am having seconds, I always ask "Do you mind if I have some more?" It never hurts to ask. And that is just how I was raised. My parents were real sticklers for table manners.
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Old Aug 15th, 2008, 10:14 PM   #10
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[qi would say since you ate most of it you should pay for most of it

uote=luckygirl83;7542447]Bf and I just had an argument about that. We just went out for dinner and decided to share our entrees. He is a super fast eater and I am a super slow eater so I don't mind when he's on his second helping when I am not quite done my first. Tonight, he went on to his fourth helping without asking me if I wanted any and effectively cleared the dishes before I even finished my first helping. I gave him the evil eye and he said it doesn't matter since it's okay to do this with family and close friends. He said we could order another entree if I was still hungry. Hmmm... one of my pet peeves.

I had an old college roommate who does the same thing. We will order something to share and she eats the dish like she hasn't had anything to eat in days. I don't think she notices that she's not sharing. All of us still talk about it (not in front of her, of course) and refuse to share anything at a restaurant with her anymore.

In any case, I think you should either make way too much of what you want to serve or serve seconds after everyone is finished in case you have guests who are oblivious to the other people at the table. [/quote]
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Old Aug 16th, 2008, 12:15 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by caxe View Post
...there might not be enough to go around?
In my house? ....there is ALWAYS enough to go around... firsts.... seconds.... thirds.... (I almost always make enough for leftovers for lunch)
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Old Aug 16th, 2008, 01:36 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by envyme View Post
If you are hosting dinner at your house, I would give everyone an option for seconds after the forks are down from their first. Unless you are doing buffet (which I normally do ).
Exactly!
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Old Aug 16th, 2008, 03:42 AM   #13
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i would say since you ate most of it you should pay for most of it
Nah, that won't work. He has paid for almost every single meal for the past 7 years. I can count all the meals I've paid for on one hand. I guess he's entitled to all 4 helpings.
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Old Aug 16th, 2008, 05:07 PM   #14
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Well, I learned to cook from my stepmom who's a caterer and she always makes about 4 times as much food as we need for the # of guests. I tend to do the same. There is always something extra to eat and we never run out of food, so I just let people get more if they want it and when they want it.
As for the sharing plates thing, my BF is the same way, he eats soo fast and I'm a slow eater, so I have to wolf it down to get enough. I've started just splitting up whatever we share on to two plates so I am sure to get enough and be able to eat at my own pace.
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Old Aug 16th, 2008, 06:59 PM   #15
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I grew up in a household where my mom always hosted large dinner parties buffet-style, so seconds were never an issue. In fact, the adults would often bug the kids if they didn't get seconds!
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