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graefin07 · May 11th, 2009, 10:09 AM

I have a little bit of a problem here: my husband (we have been married for two years) got me an absolutely stunning ring when we got engaged and later on a matching diamond wedding band. We had to have the ER sized because it was too big. Two days after sizing the ring, one of the little side diamonds had fallen out. My husband was pretty mad because he thought I wasn't careful with it. It turned out, that after sizing the ring the jeweler had not checked the diamonds and they were all loose. Even though I knew that it wasn't my fault, I felt really bad about it and started to wear only my wedding band. I only wear the ER on special occasions. Then I lost a lot of weight and the wedding ring started to slip of my finger. I can't get it sized because it has little diamonds all around. I still wore it but was really careful not to lose it. When my husband noticed it, he wasn't "pleased". Anyway, I got the ER sized again but still wear it only on special occasions. My husband got me a plain white gold wedding band (no diamonds at all) that I am comfortable wearing because I know that if I scratch in, it can be polished. Now the other day we got into a big argument because he is pissed that I don't wear my "good" rings every day. I tried to explain that I am just to scared to wear them. The ER was extremely expensive and is unique. My husband had it designed and there is no second one like it. I do understand how he feels yet I just can't wear the good rings and be comfortable with it. I always feel, like I shouldn't even be using my left hand when I wear the rings... I know, this sounds a little insane but I just can't help it. Is there anyone who has the same issue with their rings? Any advice what I can do about it?

ayla · May 11th, 2009, 10:16 AM

Why not wear it on a chain around your neck ?

ggirl · May 11th, 2009, 10:23 AM

There is a way to size an eternity band. Take it to a competent jeweler and have them put little 'balls' inside the shank of the ring. This will take up the space in place of the weight you lost in your finger. The amount of 'balls' (which are only drops of gold) will depend on how much sizing is needed. It is completely invisible from the outside and doesn't cost much to do. Good luck!

pink glitter · May 11th, 2009, 10:41 AM

Originally Posted by graefin07

I have a little bit of a problem here: my husband (we have been married for two years) got me an absolutely stunning ring when we got engaged and later on a matching diamond wedding band. We had to have the ER sized because it was too big. Two days after sizing the ring, one of the little side diamonds had fallen out. My husband was pretty mad because he thought I wasn't careful with it. It turned out, that after sizing the ring the jeweler had not checked the diamonds and they were all loose. Even though I knew that it wasn't my fault, I felt really bad about it and started to wear only my wedding band. I only wear the ER on special occasions. Then I lost a lot of weight and the wedding ring started to slip of my finger. I can't get it sized because it has little diamonds all around. I still wore it but was really careful not to lose it. When my husband noticed it, he wasn't "pleased". Anyway, I got the ER sized again but still wear it only on special occasions. My husband got me a plain white gold wedding band (no diamonds at all) that I am comfortable wearing because I know that if I scratch in, it can be polished. Now the other day we got into a big argument because he is pissed that I don't wear my "good" rings every day. I tried to explain that I am just to scared to wear them. The ER was extremely expensive and is unique. My husband had it designed and there is no second one like it. I do understand how he feels yet I just can't wear the good rings and be comfortable with it. I always feel, like I shouldn't even be using my left hand when I wear the rings... I know, this sounds a little insane but I just can't help it. Is there anyone who has the same issue with their rings? Any advice what I can do about it?

Hi jumping in from another forum but, I think your husband seems to have made you feel this way with his behaviour. Id rather hand them back to him than have to worry all the time about upsetting him. sorry but thats my opinion

katie09 · May 11th, 2009, 12:39 PM

I think I know how you feel about wearing expensive jewelry everyday. (I don't have a husband like yours though).
At first I thought it was a bit scary - what if I loose the ring, or a stone, what if it gets stolen?

Well, first things first: get your ring insured. I guess it is expensive since you are writing this.
Then start wearing it! It may feel awkward at first, but believe me, you will get used to it. And when you start looking around you will find that there are many gals wearing gorgeous rings, and I bet some of them are even bigger then yours. So wearing such jewelry is really not that big of a deal.
At least that helped me. Now I wear my diamond e-ring, wedding band and morning-gift-ring every day, together with my diamond stud earrings.
And I love love looking down on my beautiful rings :)
Of course DH is happy that I both like the rings and that I wear them.
What's the use of having such beautiful jewelry if you are never going to wear it?

neenabengals · May 11th, 2009, 12:53 PM

ITA with Katie 09 - get your ring insured.... and take lots of photos of it... so if the worst does happen and something happens to the ring, then it can be remade from the original design : )
IMHO, Jewellery's made for wearing!

Mininana · May 11th, 2009, 12:57 PM

PICS!!! I want to see pics!!!

couturequeen · May 11th, 2009, 01:26 PM

Originally Posted by katie09

What's the use of having such beautiful jewelry if you are never going to wear it?

As the others said, make sure it's insured and wear it every day! And your diamonds shouldn't fall out. The diamonds may shift, so make sure to have your ring checked by a jeweler at least every 6 months.

HauteMama · May 11th, 2009, 01:39 PM

I think the issue is not so much with the jewelry, but with the way your dh treats you regarding it. It would never occur to my dh to blame ME if a diamond fell out of a band, especially if the ring had just been resized, nor would he be upset that the ring did not fit properly after losing weight. He should have been happy that you were gettting healthier, not upset about the RING. People change as they get older and can gain or lose weight or get arthritic so their knuckles get larger so jewelry doesn't fit the same.

Anyway, I definitely agree that you need to have the rings insured, take lots of photographs and wear them! Have a jeweler explain to your dh that things can happen that are beyond your control that can cause stones to become loose, and those things are not your fault unless you have abused your ring (which you definitely don't).

It sounds more like you are afraid of your dh's reaction to what might happen if you wear the rings, not actually wearing them. I just don't think a relationship ought to work that way. His first concern ought to be for his WIFE, not the ring.

RaquelleBelle · May 11th, 2009, 02:39 PM

Originally Posted by HauteMama

I think the issue is not so much with the jewelry, but with the way your dh treats you regarding it. It would never occur to my dh to blame ME if a diamond fell out of a band, especially if the ring had just been resized, nor would he be upset that the ring did not fit properly after losing weight. He should have been happy that you were gettting healthier, not upset about the RING. People change as they get older and can gain or lose weight or get arthritic so their knuckles get larger so jewelry doesn't fit the same.

Anyway, I definitely agree that you need to have the rings insured, take lots of photographs and wear them! Have a jeweler explain to your dh that things can happen that are beyond your control that can cause stones to become loose, and those things are not your fault unless you have abused your ring (which you definitely don't).

It sounds more like you are afraid of your dh's reaction to what might happen if you wear the rings, not actually wearing them. I just don't think a relationship ought to work that way. His first concern ought to be for his WIFE, not the ring.

everything posh · May 11th, 2009, 02:46 PM

I have to agree with all the above posts. Insure your rings and wear them! I wear my engagement ring, wedding band and 3 stone right hand ring from HW every day. Jewelry is meant to be worn, why buy it if you aren't going to enjoy it?! I'm sure your rings are gorgeous, but why did your husband get them for you if he is going to make you feel so awful for wearing them, and then for NOT wearing them?!! Very confusing.

lorihmatthews · May 11th, 2009, 03:19 PM

Beautiful jewelry is meant to be worn! Take your pieces to a reputable jeweler, take your husband with you, and ensure the stones are solidly in place. As others have said, take pictures and get the pieces insured on your homeowner's policy.

Get your ring checked annually to make sure all the stones are tight. Stones should not fall out of the ring if placed correctly.

2manybags · May 11th, 2009, 03:53 PM

I totally agree.

Originally Posted by HauteMama

I think the issue is not so much with the jewelry, but with the way your dh treats you regarding it. It would never occur to my dh to blame ME if a diamond fell out of a band, especially if the ring had just been resized, nor would he be upset that the ring did not fit properly after losing weight. He should have been happy that you were gettting healthier, not upset about the RING. People change as they get older and can gain or lose weight or get arthritic so their knuckles get larger so jewelry doesn't fit the same.

Anyway, I definitely agree that you need to have the rings insured, take lots of photographs and wear them! Have a jeweler explain to your dh that things can happen that are beyond your control that can cause stones to become loose, and those things are not your fault unless you have abused your ring (which you definitely don't).

It sounds more like you are afraid of your dh's reaction to what might happen if you wear the rings, not actually wearing them. I just don't think a relationship ought to work that way. His first concern ought to be for his WIFE, not the ring.

graefin07 · May 11th, 2009, 04:26 PM

Thank you so much everyone for your advice! I just bought those ring snuggies the other day and just put them on my rings. The fit really good now and I am not worried about losing them. I really don't know that much about jewelry so I have a few more questions: Those snuggies (I bought them at Claire's), can they damage the ring in anyway? I just noticed, that on one of my rings, that I have been wearing with a snuggie, is a dent, right where the snuggies ends. I don't know when it happened, could be something else of course. I just want to make sure... The second thing I would like to know is: do diamond rings easily get damaged, e.g. if you slighty knock on a mirror or door frame? I apologize for asking those pretty stupid questions, but as I said I don't know much about jewelry. Never really had nice pieces until my husband got me my rings, necklace and studs.

xlana · May 11th, 2009, 06:54 PM

If possible, you could take your current E-ring and use the materials to make it into another ring that fits you. People recycle jewelry materials all the time. Jewelry makers will usually see jewelry pieces and draft up some ideas that are possible to make with the existing piece.

May 11th, 2009, 10:09 AM	#1
graefin07 OP Member Joined: May 2009 Posts: 2	Too scared to wear my rings I have a little bit of a problem here: my husband (we have been married for two years) got me an absolutely stunning ring when we got engaged and later on a matching diamond wedding band. We had to have the ER sized because it was too big. Two days after sizing the ring, one of the little side diamonds had fallen out. My husband was pretty mad because he thought I wasn't careful with it. It turned out, that after sizing the ring the jeweler had not checked the diamonds and they were all loose. Even though I knew that it wasn't my fault, I felt really bad about it and started to wear only my wedding band. I only wear the ER on special occasions. Then I lost a lot of weight and the wedding ring started to slip of my finger. I can't get it sized because it has little diamonds all around. I still wore it but was really careful not to lose it. When my husband noticed it, he wasn't "pleased". Anyway, I got the ER sized again but still wear it only on special occasions. My husband got me a plain white gold wedding band (no diamonds at all) that I am comfortable wearing because I know that if I scratch in, it can be polished. Now the other day we got into a big argument because he is pissed that I don't wear my "good" rings every day. I tried to explain that I am just to scared to wear them. The ER was extremely expensive and is unique. My husband had it designed and there is no second one like it. I do understand how he feels yet I just can't wear the good rings and be comfortable with it. I always feel, like I shouldn't even be using my left hand when I wear the rings... I know, this sounds a little insane but I just can't help it. Is there anyone who has the same issue with their rings? Any advice what I can do about it?
graefin07 OP Member Joined: May 2009 Posts: 2

May 11th, 2009, 10:16 AM	#2
ayla Gangsta Luv♥ Joined: Oct 2005 Location: Toronto, Ontario Posts: 21,245	Why not wear it on a chain around your neck ?
	__________________ It's here ! My much grown collection !

May 11th, 2009, 10:23 AM	#3
ggirl Member Joined: Jan 2008 Posts: 395	There is a way to size an eternity band. Take it to a competent jeweler and have them put little 'balls' inside the shank of the ring. This will take up the space in place of the weight you lost in your finger. The amount of 'balls' (which are only drops of gold) will depend on how much sizing is needed. It is completely invisible from the outside and doesn't cost much to do. Good luck!
ggirl Member Joined: Jan 2008 Posts: 395

May 11th, 2009, 12:53 PM	#6
neenabengals Member Joined: Jan 2008 Posts: 370	ITA with Katie 09 - get your ring insured.... and take lots of photos of it... so if the worst does happen and something happens to the ring, then it can be remade from the original design : ) IMHO, Jewellery's made for wearing!
neenabengals Member Joined: Jan 2008 Posts: 370

May 11th, 2009, 12:57 PM	#7
Mininana Member Joined: Jul 2008 Posts: 764	PICS!!! I want to see pics!!!
Mininana Member Joined: Jul 2008 Posts: 764

May 11th, 2009, 12:39 PM	#5
katie09 Member Joined: Apr 2009 Location: Northern part of Europe Posts: 94	I think I know how you feel about wearing expensive jewelry everyday. (I don't have a husband like yours though). At first I thought it was a bit scary - what if I loose the ring, or a stone, what if it gets stolen? Well, first things first: get your ring insured. I guess it is expensive since you are writing this. Then start wearing it! It may feel awkward at first, but believe me, you will get used to it. And when you start looking around you will find that there are many gals wearing gorgeous rings, and I bet some of them are even bigger then yours. So wearing such jewelry is really not that big of a deal. At least that helped me. Now I wear my diamond e-ring, wedding band and morning-gift-ring every day, together with my diamond stud earrings. And I love love looking down on my beautiful rings :) Of course DH is happy that I both like the rings and that I wear them. What's the use of having such beautiful jewelry if you are never going to wear it?

May 11th, 2009, 01:39 PM	#9
HauteMama Member Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 6,834	I think the issue is not so much with the jewelry, but with the way your dh treats you regarding it. It would never occur to my dh to blame ME if a diamond fell out of a band, especially if the ring had just been resized, nor would he be upset that the ring did not fit properly after losing weight. He should have been happy that you were gettting healthier, not upset about the RING. People change as they get older and can gain or lose weight or get arthritic so their knuckles get larger so jewelry doesn't fit the same. Anyway, I definitely agree that you need to have the rings insured, take lots of photographs and wear them! Have a jeweler explain to your dh that things can happen that are beyond your control that can cause stones to become loose, and those things are not your fault unless you have abused your ring (which you definitely don't). It sounds more like you are afraid of your dh's reaction to what might happen if you wear the rings, not actually wearing them. I just don't think a relationship ought to work that way. His first concern ought to be for his WIFE, not the ring.
HauteMama Member Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 6,834

May 11th, 2009, 02:46 PM	#11
everything posh Member Joined: Jan 2007 Location: Chicago, Athens, London, San Jose!! Posts: 1,659	I have to agree with all the above posts. Insure your rings and wear them! I wear my engagement ring, wedding band and 3 stone right hand ring from HW every day. Jewelry is meant to be worn, why buy it if you aren't going to enjoy it?! I'm sure your rings are gorgeous, but why did your husband get them for you if he is going to make you feel so awful for wearing them, and then for NOT wearing them?!! Very confusing.
	__________________

May 11th, 2009, 03:19 PM	#12
lorihmatthews Fall is here! Joined: Oct 2006 Location: San Francisco Posts: 11,036	Beautiful jewelry is meant to be worn! Take your pieces to a reputable jeweler, take your husband with you, and ensure the stones are solidly in place. As others have said, take pictures and get the pieces insured on your homeowner's policy. Get your ring checked annually to make sure all the stones are tight. Stones should not fall out of the ring if placed correctly.

May 11th, 2009, 04:26 PM	#14
graefin07 OP Member Joined: May 2009 Posts: 2	Thank you so much everyone for your advice! I just bought those ring snuggies the other day and just put them on my rings. The fit really good now and I am not worried about losing them. I really don't know that much about jewelry so I have a few more questions: Those snuggies (I bought them at Claire's), can they damage the ring in anyway? I just noticed, that on one of my rings, that I have been wearing with a snuggie, is a dent, right where the snuggies ends. I don't know when it happened, could be something else of course. I just want to make sure... The second thing I would like to know is: do diamond rings easily get damaged, e.g. if you slighty knock on a mirror or door frame? I apologize for asking those pretty stupid questions, but as I said I don't know much about jewelry. Never really had nice pieces until my husband got me my rings, necklace and studs.
graefin07 OP Member Joined: May 2009 Posts: 2

May 11th, 2009, 06:54 PM	#15
xlana Gizmo Loves RM Too! Joined: Sep 2006 Location: East Bay, CA Posts: 3,953	If possible, you could take your current E-ring and use the materials to make it into another ring that fits you. People recycle jewelry materials all the time. Jewelry makers will usually see jewelry pieces and draft up some ideas that are possible to make with the existing piece.
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