Your SO and Strippers.

SimplyMe · Jun 25th, 2008, 11:41 PM

Would you ever let your SO hire a stripper or go to a party where a stripper is present?

Now before anything, I don't despise strippers as it is only a job. I understand that in many cases, strippers are forced into doing what they do because of financial problems. Therefore, I personally respect them for what they do and doesn't think it's a degrading job at all.

HOWEVER, I do have a problem when guys in committed relationships entertain themselves with strippers. I'm not talking about strip clubs, but guys who call up strippers to private house parties. Am I overreacting and being too conservative or is it normal to feel disgusted?

So..my SO's co-worker's birthday was just a few days ago and he held a party in his place with a handful of other co-workers. My SO was invited but he declined the invitation to the party. As you may already notice, this thread is not about us. However, I know all his co-workers very well as we have all hung out multiple times before. I have even seen some of their gfs and while I can't say we're friends or anything, I usually chat with them when I see them.

Of course, since we're talking about strippers, one of them had hired a stripper. I don't think it's a big deal at all since it's just for fun. HOWEVER, my SO told me that for a mere $20, you can touch and grab the stripper's breasts

. (Sorry I don't know anything about strippers!) Most of the guys entertained themselves by paying the stripper and most of these guys are in a relationship. I am completely disgusted.

So back to the question, are you okay with your SOs playing with strippers, ie getting lap dances and grabbing breasts? I know I have a HUGE problem with it. Am I alone?

lovinalotofbags · Jun 26th, 2008, 12:43 AM

Hell no you are not alone. Not acceptable not in my relationships anyway. Ex hubby never did it. Why would you allow a woman to rub up against your genitals or you touch her when you are in a relationship. I have my own soap box on topics like these.

Zophie · Jun 26th, 2008, 12:49 AM

I have no problem with strippers at all unless he starts spending all his money on the strippers and stalking them or something and it becomes an obsession. But then I like to go to strip clubs myself. I'd be more upset that he didn't take me when he went.

Laurie8504 · Jun 26th, 2008, 01:10 AM

I think I remember a similar thread like this before, only about porn. Which is obviously a bit different (it's only 2D after all

), but it's a pretty personal issue and the opinions on it vary widely.

Personally, no bf of mine will ever go to a strip club or event where a stripper will be present. I feel that this is an issue of respect and fidelity.

KristyDarling · Jun 26th, 2008, 01:23 AM

Strippers at a private party, at a private residence or hotel room? NO. It's common that many things juuust short of intercourse happen at these things.

Strippers at a strip club, i.e. bachelor party? Grudgingly, reluctantly yes. I guessss. I hate it, though. The thought of some skeezy woman touching and rubbing up against my hubby makes me nauseous.

stellamaried · Jun 26th, 2008, 01:34 AM

I do not feel disrespect for strippers nor do I judge them. I understand that it is a job, and many of these women have been victims of sexual abuse. The last part is a huge part of the reason that I do not like strip clubs. I also don't judge people who go to strip clubs, and I know a lot of women who are perfectly comfortable with their SOs going to strip clubs and hanging out with strippers, and getting lap dances. Whatever works for them! But it doesn't work for me. The guys I've dated haven't been interested in going (though they don't feel as strongly as I!), and I don't know if it would be a deal breaker if my BF went to a strip club or a bachelor party where the guys hired a stripper, but it would really bother me because he knows my feelings on the matter very well. But lap dances and boob grabbing cross the line for me (how is that not cheating? Or at least bordering on it? I don't get it!).

nooch · Jun 26th, 2008, 02:00 AM

Nothing less attractive than a man who pays a woman to feign interest in him while he disrespects the one he has at home.

I don't dislike STRIPPERS, I dislike STRIP CLUBS and events where strippers are present. Call me unenlightened if you will (oh, and I have been many times), but I am uncomfortable with it. Also, I am uncomfortable with a man who can so easily shift into that drooling man-child so easily. My fiance has no interest in strip clubs but like I said, I can't really see myself dating someone who didn't feel the same way as I do about them.

GirlFriday · Jun 26th, 2008, 02:10 AM

I hate strip clubs and porn and all that stuff because it's so debasing towards women. People don't think of the stripper as someone's daughter, sister, or even mother. I just don't think it's a good thing for anyone to contribute to that whole industry.

QueenOfDa702 · Jun 26th, 2008, 02:21 AM

I dont mind strippers at all, as long as my SO eats his dinner at home!

Actually, I've been to a couple strip clubs myself, not a big deal at all.

I dont get why girls are so steel footed about strip clubs, ESPECIALLY if the guy went to strip clubs before you.

As far as a stripper at a party, I dont really mind that either, if I were at a party and there were a Male stripper, I wouldnt want him to be bothered by it, so its the same for him.

valval · Jun 26th, 2008, 02:32 AM

I don't understand that if the guy is in a commited relationship, why would he still needs lap dances or boob grabbing with a stranger? If he has fantasy, he could have talked it out with his girl and do something about it... If he went to the club for experience sake, once or twice is fine but definitely no obsessions!!

mellecyn · Jun 26th, 2008, 05:42 AM

If for a bachelor party the guys go to strip clubs...no problem at all.
If it becomes an habit to hire a stripper for any boys night/parties.....BIG problems.

couture2387 · Jun 26th, 2008, 08:07 AM

I find it disrespectful that a guy in a relationship would want to around strippers. I think the guys that go to strip clubs are pathetic (no offense), they can't get it at home so they pay for some random girl to "entertain" them. My boss' son told me he goes to strip clubs frequently and as soon as he told me, my opinion of him went down. My bf has never gone to a strip club and he doesn't see why guys do.

GirlFriday · Jun 26th, 2008, 08:13 AM

One of my guy friends told me he doesn't get why guys go to strip clubs. He would always say, "why would I go someplace to have some girl turn me on and then I can't do anything about it?"

Norlite · Jun 26th, 2008, 08:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mellecyn

If for a bachelor party the guys go to strip clubs...no problem at all.
If it becomes an habit to hire a stripper for any boys night/parties.....BIG problems.

My feelings as well.

And I enjoy it when the male strippers come to town too!

helium · Jun 26th, 2008, 08:28 AM

I also wouldn't mind if he was going to the bachelor party of some friend who happened to have strip clubs on schedule. I trust him enough not to do anything. Turned on is a different matter, but I trust him to come back for action.

But if he was going by himself i'd be... somewhat amused at my self actually. I clearly didn't see this man's real side before I started dating him, because I am not attracted to the 'I go to strip clubs' type. I'm more into the... chess type lol.

Jun 26th, 2008, 12:43 AM	#2
lovinalotofbags Member Joined: Mar 2008 Location: Carolinas Posts: 1,372	Hell no you are not alone. Not acceptable not in my relationships anyway. Ex hubby never did it. Why would you allow a woman to rub up against your genitals or you touch her when you are in a relationship. I have my own soap box on topics like these. __________________ Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.

Jun 26th, 2008, 12:49 AM	#3
Zophie I <3 my Maltese! Joined: Feb 2007 Location: New Orleans, LA Posts: 6,575	I have no problem with strippers at all unless he starts spending all his money on the strippers and stalking them or something and it becomes an obsession. But then I like to go to strip clubs myself. I'd be more upset that he didn't take me when he went. __________________

Jun 26th, 2008, 02:00 AM	#7
nooch Member Joined: Apr 2008 Location: new mexico via BROOKLYN NY Posts: 1,153	Nothing less attractive than a man who pays a woman to feign interest in him while he disrespects the one he has at home. I don't dislike STRIPPERS, I dislike STRIP CLUBS and events where strippers are present. Call me unenlightened if you will (oh, and I have been many times), but I am uncomfortable with it. Also, I am uncomfortable with a man who can so easily shift into that drooling man-child so easily. My fiance has no interest in strip clubs but like I said, I can't really see myself dating someone who didn't feel the same way as I do about them. __________________ http://www.natreasures.com Authentic American Indian jewelry & crafts All orders ship free PM me for discount codes Support local artists & their work!

Jun 26th, 2008, 02:21 AM	#9
QueenOfDa702 Misunderestimated. Joined: Jan 2007 Location: Vegas where we let it all hang out. Your Vegas is showing! Posts: 5,402	I dont mind strippers at all, as long as my SO eats his dinner at home! Actually, I've been to a couple strip clubs myself, not a big deal at all. I dont get why girls are so steel footed about strip clubs, ESPECIALLY if the guy went to strip clubs before you. As far as a stripper at a party, I dont really mind that either, if I were at a party and there were a Male stripper, I wouldnt want him to be bothered by it, so its the same for him. __________________ ~Valeen~ *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~* Click HERE to visit MySpace

Jun 26th, 2008, 02:32 AM	#10
valval Member Joined: May 2008 Posts: 61	I don't understand that if the guy is in a commited relationship, why would he still needs lap dances or boob grabbing with a stranger? If he has fantasy, he could have talked it out with his girl and do something about it... If he went to the club for experience sake, once or twice is fine but definitely no obsessions!! __________________ Wish List : [ In the process ]

Jun 25th, 2008, 11:41 PM	#1
SimplyMe Racing With You. Joined: Dec 2007 Location: Very foggy! Posts: 151	Would you ever let your SO hire a stripper or go to a party where a stripper is present? Now before anything, I don't despise strippers as it is only a job. I understand that in many cases, strippers are forced into doing what they do because of financial problems. Therefore, I personally respect them for what they do and doesn't think it's a degrading job at all. HOWEVER, I do have a problem when guys in committed relationships entertain themselves with strippers. I'm not talking about strip clubs, but guys who call up strippers to private house parties. Am I overreacting and being too conservative or is it normal to feel disgusted? So..my SO's co-worker's birthday was just a few days ago and he held a party in his place with a handful of other co-workers. My SO was invited but he declined the invitation to the party. As you may already notice, this thread is not about us. However, I know all his co-workers very well as we have all hung out multiple times before. I have even seen some of their gfs and while I can't say we're friends or anything, I usually chat with them when I see them. Of course, since we're talking about strippers, one of them had hired a stripper. I don't think it's a big deal at all since it's just for fun. HOWEVER, my SO told me that for a mere $20, you can touch and grab the stripper's breasts . (Sorry I don't know anything about strippers!) Most of the guys entertained themselves by paying the stripper and most of these guys are in a relationship. I am completely disgusted. So back to the question, are you okay with your SOs playing with strippers, ie getting lap dances and grabbing breasts? I know I have a HUGE problem with it. Am I alone?

Jun 26th, 2008, 01:10 AM	#4
Laurie8504 chocolate...where? Joined: Sep 2007 Location: US Posts: 1,231	I think I remember a similar thread like this before, only about porn. Which is obviously a bit different (it's only 2D after all ), but it's a pretty personal issue and the opinions on it vary widely. Personally, no bf of mine will ever go to a strip club or event where a stripper will be present. I feel that this is an issue of respect and fidelity.

Jun 26th, 2008, 01:23 AM	#5
KristyDarling Member Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 3,146	Strippers at a private party, at a private residence or hotel room? NO. It's common that many things juuust short of intercourse happen at these things. Strippers at a strip club, i.e. bachelor party? Grudgingly, reluctantly yes. I guessss. I hate it, though. The thought of some skeezy woman touching and rubbing up against my hubby makes me nauseous.

Jun 26th, 2008, 01:34 AM	#6
stellamaried Member Joined: May 2006 Posts: 544	I do not feel disrespect for strippers nor do I judge them. I understand that it is a job, and many of these women have been victims of sexual abuse. The last part is a huge part of the reason that I do not like strip clubs. I also don't judge people who go to strip clubs, and I know a lot of women who are perfectly comfortable with their SOs going to strip clubs and hanging out with strippers, and getting lap dances. Whatever works for them! But it doesn't work for me. The guys I've dated haven't been interested in going (though they don't feel as strongly as I!), and I don't know if it would be a deal breaker if my BF went to a strip club or a bachelor party where the guys hired a stripper, but it would really bother me because he knows my feelings on the matter very well. But lap dances and boob grabbing cross the line for me (how is that not cheating? Or at least bordering on it? I don't get it!).

Jun 26th, 2008, 02:10 AM	#8
GirlFriday Member Joined: Mar 2008 Posts: 432	I hate strip clubs and porn and all that stuff because it's so debasing towards women. People don't think of the stripper as someone's daughter, sister, or even mother. I just don't think it's a good thing for anyone to contribute to that whole industry.

Jun 26th, 2008, 05:42 AM	#11
mellecyn Take me to LV Joined: Feb 2006 Location: 300 km from LV somewhere in Europe Posts: 2,271	If for a bachelor party the guys go to strip clubs...no problem at all. If it becomes an habit to hire a stripper for any boys night/parties.....BIG problems. __________________ "Pardon my French", euh I mean "English" MelleCyn "You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete" Buckminster Fuller

Jun 26th, 2008, 08:07 AM	#12
couture2387 Member Joined: Jan 2008 Location: Miami Posts: 721	I find it disrespectful that a guy in a relationship would want to around strippers. I think the guys that go to strip clubs are pathetic (no offense), they can't get it at home so they pay for some random girl to "entertain" them. My boss' son told me he goes to strip clubs frequently and as soon as he told me, my opinion of him went down. My bf has never gone to a strip club and he doesn't see why guys do. __________________ until I manage to pay off 1/2 of my Visa!

Jun 26th, 2008, 08:13 AM	#13
GirlFriday Member Joined: Mar 2008 Posts: 432	One of my guy friends told me he doesn't get why guys go to strip clubs. He would always say, "why would I go someplace to have some girl turn me on and then I can't do anything about it?"

Jun 26th, 2008, 08:28 AM	#15
helium Member Joined: Nov 2007 Posts: 1,530	I also wouldn't mind if he was going to the bachelor party of some friend who happened to have strip clubs on schedule. I trust him enough not to do anything. Turned on is a different matter, but I trust him to come back for action. But if he was going by himself i'd be... somewhat amused at my self actually. I clearly didn't see this man's real side before I started dating him, because I am not attracted to the 'I go to strip clubs' type. I'm more into the... chess type lol. Last edited by helium; Jun 26th, 2008 at 08:32 AM.