[ChanelGirlE]

^^ peer pressure is for sure a factor, especially at a Bachelor party from my experience (hence my previous post of the groom to be, and his friends cheering him on). I have been to a strip club myself with some friends and it was super boring, lol. I find men in relationships/strippers disrespectful.

[QueenOfDa702]

Peer Pressure? How old are these guys we are talking about?

I dont know, maybe my SO and I are leaders and not followers, but I(and my SO) have never "followed" my friends. They can do what they want, but if Im not comfortable doing it, then I wont, no matter how hard they try to push me.

Not to mention, if your SO's have "friends" that would pressure them into doing something they dont want to do, then what does that say about your SO? My friends would never try to pressure me to do something, and neither would my SO's friends. Its called respect.

[lithiumpearl]

I am REALLY insecure, but I'm totally indifferent about strippers and stripping. I don't jump for joy when I know my boyfriend is going to encounter them with his buddies; I just tell him to have fun and not do anything stupid. Yes, my heart always shakes a little with fear because I am insecure, but I don't let him on to it. I don't feel that it is my place to tell my boyfriend what to do and what not to do -- I shouldn't have to police him in to remaining faithful by removing him from potentially tempting situations, because these exist everywhere. And I wouldn't want him doing the same to me.

Those stories do scare me and make me recoil in disgust, but I've also heard heartbreaking stories about men that cheat on their partners and do disgusting things outside of strip clubs, without needing any temptation from a naked girl who is working for money. Horror stories will always exist, because there are lots of shady guys out there. But the type of guy that can justify cheating on his girlfriend (and dish out the money to do so) because it's part of stag night or some stupid ritual is not the type of guy that you want to be with. Similarly, if a guy is "bullied" into his friends into engaging in bad behavior then that has nothing to do with the strip club but a weakness in character -- seriously, he's going to ruin a loving relationship because he can't handled being picked on by friends?! And I am pretty sure that if you even think that your partner is this type of guy, your relationship is probably already going to have trust issues to begin with.

In conclusion, I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with them or with strippers, and I don't think it's disrespectful if a guy (or girl) goes to a place where there will be strippers. I do have a problem with guys that use it as an opportunity to grope girls or turn them into on-the-spot hookers by paying them to have sex, but that has more to do with the guy and him honoring the boundaries of his relationship than the strippers. And if the guy is weak and knows that he will cave, he should have the mind NOT to put himself into such a predicament.

[shoefan]

Originally Posted by QueenOfDa702

Peer Pressure? How old are these guys we are talking about?

I agree.

For most reasonable, committed men, this is legitimate entertainment, not an excuse (or your permission to allow them) to partake in a fornication marathon with all of the strippers for a night.

If your SO is not reasonable, then I see the need to manage this part of his life, at which point he'll become the man we've read about in Roo's post, and you've got bigger problems at home.

[illinirdhd]

Originally Posted by QueenOfDa702

Peer Pressure? How old are these guys we are talking about?

[Zophie]

Originally Posted by SimplyMe

Very interesting stories and different P.O.V.s! However, I don't understand when some say it's okay to go as a group but not alone..because peer pressure is powerful. If the majority acts pervertedly, then even the most innocent ones might conform. Trust me, some of my SO's co-workers are some of the best guys I've known. They're educated, responsible, friendly, nice, you name it. Not only that, they're really really good to their gfs! Maybe that's exactly why I'm shocked that they would do such disgusting things, but again men are naturally perverted. So I definitely do believe that peer pressure plays a factor to some degree.

Men are men. They like sex and naked women. I think women just often don't want to believe it. A guy can be a great boyfriend or husband and still find other women attractive.

[stellamaried]

Do you think there's something to her post, though -- not necessarily peer pressure, but a group mentality that "normalizes" these things? Like the 14 year olds and the pregnancy pact? Or, for example, I knew kids in college who progressively did more, and more hardcore, drugs over a pretty short period of time, and I really think that it was in very large part because they felt "safe" because everyone else was doing it (and probably wouldn't have done it on their own)? I really don't know the answer, and I certainly don't mean to compare grown men with teenagers or imply that they have the limited reasoning power/impulse control of teenagers, but SimplyMe's post kind of made me think. I mean, would those guys have gone out and done that on their own, or did they look around and saw other guys in committed relationships acting that way and thought it was okay?

[By the way, I truly trust my guy not to engage in inappropriate behavior, whether he's alone or with a group (and wouldn't be with someone who I didn't trust), but I thought it was an interesting post.]

[wordpast]

I don't mind strip clubs at all! I have no problem with my guy going every now and then. But I will say that lap dances, touching, and private V.I.P. rooms are a no-no. Actually, in the strip clubs here lap dancing is not permitted, at least not on the open floor (they happen in the V.I.P though). They call them "table dances" here. Basically the girl stands a few feet in front of you (by your table) and dance. There is supposed to be no touching. I waitressed in a strip club when I was a freshman in college and I can say that they girls pretty much stuck to that rule when they are out on the floor.

Not all strippers are whores and out to get your men. As a matter of fact, I have heard more stories about guys cheating with someone that they met in the workplace than at a strip club. AND I knew strippers that were less likely to sleep around than some of my friends who had nice "respectable" jobs.

[jellybebe]

I think it's ok... the stripper is being paid to entertain and I trust my bf enough to know that he won't touch or even be remotely interested.

[jellybebe]

Originally Posted by lithiumpearl

I am REALLY insecure, but I'm totally indifferent about strippers and stripping. I don't jump for joy when I know my boyfriend is going to encounter them with his buddies; I just tell him to have fun and not do anything stupid. Yes, my heart always shakes a little with fear because I am insecure, but I don't let him on to it. I don't feel that it is my place to tell my boyfriend what to do and what not to do -- I shouldn't have to police him in to remaining faithful by removing him from potentially tempting situations, because these exist everywhere. And I wouldn't want him doing the same to me.

Those stories do scare me and make me recoil in disgust, but I've also heard heartbreaking stories about men that cheat on their partners and do disgusting things outside of strip clubs, without needing any temptation from a naked girl who is working for money. Horror stories will always exist, because there are lots of shady guys out there. But the type of guy that can justify cheating on his girlfriend (and dish out the money to do so) because it's part of stag night or some stupid ritual is not the type of guy that you want to be with. Similarly, if a guy is "bullied" into his friends into engaging in bad behavior then that has nothing to do with the strip club but a weakness in character -- seriously, he's going to ruin a loving relationship because he can't handled being picked on by friends?! And I am pretty sure that if you even think that your partner is this type of guy, your relationship is probably already going to have trust issues to begin with.

In conclusion, I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with them or with strippers, and I don't think it's disrespectful if a guy (or girl) goes to a place where there will be strippers. I do have a problem with guys that use it as an opportunity to grope girls or turn them into on-the-spot hookers by paying them to have sex, but that has more to do with the guy and him honoring the boundaries of his relationship than the strippers. And if the guy is weak and knows that he will cave, he should have the mind NOT to put himself into such a predicament.

Good post!

[FrancescaAveiro]

my bf sometimes has to go to events with strippers (like his team;s christmas party, etc) but he gets sooo bored and usually ends up on the phone talking to me or texting me. his team mates always tell me how well behaved he is so i don't worry or think it's a problem

[Virgo]

My DH told me that when strippers are hired to come to a house party, in addition to the dancing there is also some prostitution involved - usually blow jobs.

[cutieupdate18]

Originally Posted by nooch

Nothing less attractive than a man who pays a woman to feign interest in him while he disrespects the one he has at home.

Wow, ITA!

[Purses]

I have no problems with strippers also, but I would have an issue if my bf went there when we are an item. I think it is important to stay in good health, stay in shape and take care of yourself, so that your SO won't get distracted. But, if you do all of the above and your SO does not recognize that, then there is a problem with him, not you.

[bnjj]

Not directly on topic but... I had a 12 year relationship with a guy who one day announced he was becoming a stripper. That was the beginning of a very rapid end.