Your engagement story!!

oo0ehxtahcee0oo · Dec 16th, 2007, 03:16 AM

I wrote a bit about this in another thread, but I wanted to know everyone else's storys/thoughts as well.

It's a weird story how DF and I got "engaged". It was last Christmas (2006) and he never really popped the question. We've always talked about getting married and what not, and I got my ring and all, but I feel like it's not "offical offical" yet. I know I'm weird, but I just feel like I really want him to ask me. I've told my BFF that, and she said she understands. (are we the only two who feel that way?!) My BFF thinks he might officially ask me this January when we're in Hawaii for my birthday. My Mom just says dont get you're hopes up because he might not. I mean, he might not ever. We already knew we would get married, so I don't know if he (as a guy) realize how important it is to still pop the question. He might not ever ask officially. I won't be oober sad (just a little though) because we're already engaged and are starting to plan the wedding, but I can't help but want to hear the question...

How did you and your SO get engaged?? Did it matter to you if it was official or not? Who did you call first?? So many questions. My mind is boggling.

chipmunk-pnw · Dec 16th, 2007, 05:02 AM

Ahem. There's no such thing as engaged with "". You either are or you just aren't. If you're certain this is the guy you want to marry you would care. First you need to be honest with yourself, who thought of getting engaged and married first? If it was you who hinted or suggested, then getting him to propose properly will take some time, according to his wishes and not yours anymore. Many men buy their ladies rings, even diamond solitaires, but that doesn't mean they are proposing! I can tell you many of my girl friends received rings like these with no proposal in sight for years, a couple ended up dumping the guy, so beware.

Most men are laid back by nature, and take things in stride. They have no biological clock to worry about unlike us, so there is no rush. However when they meet someone they love so deeply they want to spend the rest of their life with her, they would suddenly be spontaneous and do everything to make that happen. I've come across cases where men who used to live like there's no tomorrow, suddenly propose 3 mths into the relationship. Till then, hurrying him and hoping that something concrete will happen soon will only add wrinkles to your beautiful face.

It also really doesn't mean that if a guy takes you on a special getaway something special will happen... after all you already got your ring. He'll probably be wondering what else do you want?

I have a friend who took his girlfriend to Paris, right to the top of Eiffel Tower, and he recalled her standing there winking suggestively. When nothing happened she got quite irate and tried to hide her feelings, they have been dating for 5 years and he still couldn't fathom why she reacted that way. Of course she was expecting a proposal but he wasn't ready. So yeah your mommy's right, don't expect anything.

A guy pops the question when he is ready, and when he is 100% sure. Factors that might hinder or prolong his decision can be 1) he's not sure if he wants you to be the mother of his children, 2) he's not financially ready, sure he may be rich but maybe he's saving up for a large mansion, 3) he's still enjoying being a carefree bachelor. Number 2 reason is very valid, as some men pride themselves in being able to be the sole breadwinner of the family and is prepared to take x years to get a job that pays well as they may not qualify for it at the moment.

If you're really anxious to know if he's going to propose, ask him indirectly. Doesn't hurt to ask where you two will be in 2 years or something like that. If all else fails there's always the ultimatum approach, but save this for the last resort. You will be surprised but I read it somewhere that 75% of women have to drop hints to get their partner to propose sooner, and I'm part of that statistic!

To answer your question, my husband proposed to me at the airport in public on bended knee. I was about to catch a flight overseas for work, alone. I sorta knew moments before that as soon as he whipped out a Tiffany blue box. Prior to that, I've only got a Promise ring and that's about it. Apparently he bought the engagement ring 6 mths before. Wonder what took him so long to propose? Men!

oo0ehxtahcee0oo · Dec 16th, 2007, 05:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chipmunk-pnw

Ahem. There's no such thing as engaged with "". You either are or you just aren't. If you're certain this is the guy you want to marry you would care. First you need to be honest with yourself, who thought of getting engaged and married first? If it was you who hinted or suggested, then getting him to propose properly will take some time, according to his wishes and not yours anymore. Many men buy their ladies rings, even diamond solitaires, but that doesn't mean they are proposing! I can tell you many of my girl friends received rings like these with no proposal in sight for years, a couple ended up dumping the guy, so beware.

Most men are laid back by nature, and take things in stride. They have no biological clock to worry about unlike us, so there is no rush. However when they meet someone they love so deeply they want to spend the rest of their life with her, they would suddenly be spontaneous and do everything to make that happen. I've come across cases where men who used to live like there's no tomorrow, suddenly propose 3 mths into the relationship. Till then, hurrying him and hoping that something concrete will happen soon will only add wrinkles to your beautiful face.

It also really doesn't mean that if a guy takes you on a special getaway something special will happen... after all you already got your ring. He'll probably be wondering what else do you want?

I have a friend who took his girlfriend to Paris, right to the top of Eiffel Tower, and he recalled her standing there winking suggestively. When nothing happened she got quite irate and tried to hide her feelings, they have been dating for 5 years and he still couldn't fathom why she reacted that way. Of course she was expecting a proposal but he wasn't ready. So yeah your mommy's right, don't expect anything.

A guy pops the question when he is ready, and when he is 100% sure. Factors that might hinder or prolong his decision can be 1) he's not sure if he wants you to be the mother of his children, 2) he's not financially ready, sure he may be rich but maybe he's saving up for a large mansion, 3) he's still enjoying being a carefree bachelor. Number 2 reason is very valid, as some men pride themselves in being able to be the sole breadwinner of the family and is prepared to take x years to get a job that pays well as they may not qualify for it at the moment.

If you're really anxious to know if he's going to propose, ask him indirectly. Doesn't hurt to ask where you two will be in 2 years or something like that. If all else fails there's always the ultimatum approach, but save this for the last resort. You will be surprised but I read it somewhere that 75% of women have to drop hints to get their partner to propose sooner, and I'm part of that statistic!

To answer your question, my husband proposed to me at the airport in public on bended knee. I was about to catch a flight overseas for work, alone. I sorta knew moments before that as soon as he whipped out a Tiffany blue box. Prior to that, I've only got a Promise ring and that's about it. Apparently he bought the engagement ring 6 mths before. Wonder what took him so long to propose? Men!

well i put it in "" because even though we ARE engaged i still dont feel like its complete until he asks. truth be, he may never ask. dad never popped the question. it just happened like us. they picked out a ring together and just got married. everyone knows were getting married, but i just would like him to ask me offically. we both thought of getting married. he would talk about having kids and we just talked about things. i know he might not offically pop the question to me in hawaii, jeez he may never offically ask me. it matters a little, but not like its the end of the world. were still getting married in 2009. so if he does or doesnt ask me, were still tying the knot.

candace117 · Dec 16th, 2007, 05:26 AM

^This post gave my DH very negative feelings and I wouldn't really follow any of the advice given either.

1. Men do have a biological clock - they don't go through the trials of menopause and it does not happen as early as it does for women, but they do become impotent, one day they just stop producing sperm.

2. Winking suggestively while on the top of the Eiffel Tower is tacky, and won't make him propose to you sooner. Why get irate over it? You're on top of the Eiffel tower with your significant other, who you love. ENJOY IT!!! (same goes for when you go to Hawaii, if you are expecting an official proposal the whole time you will be on edge and won't enjoy the vacation as much. Just enjoy being away from home with him and it will give you much brighter memories than if he doesn't get on one knee and you were expecting it).

3. Don't give an ultimatum, please please please. It's not a last resort, it's just a way to end the relationship. Why would you want to live your life with a man that only proposed to you and married you because you gave a veiled, or not so veiled threat? I wouldn't.

I do agree that men will propose when they are ready, as in, they make sure they are ready and that you are ready. They aren't morons and they are thinking about these things even if it seems they aren't. It definitely holds true that women are more vocally detail-oriented than men are, and men keep any details they notice to themselves. And then, when you think they have forgotten, they surprise you.

Darling extahcee, if you are already planning your wedding, you've got the better ending! Remember that engagements are a temporary stopover for the real thing you're aiming for. If you don't really have an engagement period, that's not breaking any rules, and it's definitely okay. If you have a problem with it, ask him, but don't confront him or come off like you are expecting it to happen at a specific time. I'm generally more laid back about these things than other people, so nobody else may agree with what I am saying. It also sounds like you have a lovely ring, which is more than other women get for a long time!

As for my engagement story, DH got off active duty and flew home to Oregon from Germany. I went to the airport to meet him, and was excited because I was going to also meet his parents for the first time and some of his family. I didn't expect to see like 30 family members there and several of his friends. It was nuts!!!! It was all fuzzy wuzzy because when he walked out into International Arrivals in his dress uniform, he got a standing ovation. It was SO COOL. I ran up to him and hugged and kissed him first, his mom barely held back enough so I could do that, which was sweet because it had been a long time since they had seen him...and only a few months for me. So everyone is jumping around and excited and then all of a sudden everything clears away. It is just us standing there!!! DH tells me how much he loves me, and then asks if he can borrow the claddagh ring on my left hand. I giggle and say sure, and he pulls it off slowly and stalls a bit by saying 'hi!' and 'I love you!' and other cute stuff. Then he pulls a box out of his pocket and kneels down. These ladies waiting in arrivals squeal and run around the pillar so they can see better, and he asks me to marry him. I say yes!!! And he puts the ring on my finger and stands up to kiss me. Another standing ovation! wow!!!!! It was then crazy because I met all of his family members, apparently it was the first time his maternal and paternal grandmas were in the same place for more than 20 years!!!! They got a limo for us to ride home in, which was awesome. MIL had someone film the whole thing and other people were taking pictures, so all of it is documented.
I called my bff's first and then surprised my parents when we went home the next week to visit.

It was a cool way to get engaged because of how dramatic our relationship was while he was in Iraq. It was like it all fit. But if he had done it in private or just given me a ring, or something...it wouldn't matter. Cause you know what? we love each other. He's my best bud. We got married, and we have a great partnership with communication, honesty, and all the important elements. Really, if those things are in place it shouldn't matter to anybody else but you. We were engaged for over 2 years, no short engagement by any stretch - I had friends get engaged and married within those two years, so it was kind of odd to sit back and watch. Just find what fits in your relationship and roll with it. But it sounds like an engagement is important to you, so maybe just bring it up to him, that you would have liked to have been asked the question when he gave you the ring. He may ask to borrow it

Speedy · Dec 16th, 2007, 05:33 AM

Uh, he and I were sitting outside my dinky little apartment eating pizza and drinking beer, watching my son play in the yard, and he asked me if I'd marry him. I said I'd think about it. That was 1988.

Several years later, a family member told me that he worshiped the ground I walked on, and I wasn't getting any younger, we'd been living together for over 7 years, so JUST DO IT!

I went into the kitchen where DH was and I just said "Yes." He said "Yes, what?" I replied "Yes, I'll marry you." That was in October of 1995, we married in May of the next year.

candace117 · Dec 16th, 2007, 05:34 AM

LOL...Speedy I love you guys and I've never even met either of you. I grew up in Nor Cal, I wish I'd have known you were around when I was still there.

oo0ehxtahcee0oo · Dec 16th, 2007, 05:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by candace117

^This post gave my DH very negative feelings and I wouldn't really follow any of the advice given either.

1. Men do have a biological clock - they don't go through the trials of menopause and it does not happen as early as it does for women, but they do become impotent, one day they just stop producing sperm.

2. Winking suggestively while on the top of the Eiffel Tower is tacky, and won't make him propose to you sooner. Why get irate over it? You're on top of the Eiffel tower with your significant other, who you love. ENJOY IT!!! (same goes for when you go to Hawaii, if you are expecting an official proposal the whole time you will be on edge and won't enjoy the vacation as much. Just enjoy being away from home with him and it will give you much brighter memories than if he doesn't get on one knee and you were expecting it).

3. Don't give an ultimatum, please please please. It's not a last resort, it's just a way to end the relationship. Why would you want to live your life with a man that only proposed to you and married you because you gave a veiled, or not so veiled threat? I wouldn't.

I do agree that men will propose when they are ready, as in, they make sure they are ready and that you are ready. They aren't morons and they are thinking about these things even if it seems they aren't. It definitely holds true that women are more vocally detail-oriented than men are, and men keep any details they notice to themselves. And then, when you think they have forgotten, they surprise you.

Darling extahcee, if you are already planning your wedding, you've got the better ending! Remember that engagements are a temporary stopover for the real thing you're aiming for. If you don't really have an engagement period, that's not breaking any rules, and it's definitely okay. If you have a problem with it, ask him, but don't confront him or come off like you are expecting it to happen at a specific time. I'm generally more laid back about these things than other people, so nobody else may agree with what I am saying. It also sounds like you have a lovely ring, which is more than other women get for a long time!

As for my engagement story, DH got off active duty and flew home to Oregon from Germany. I went to the airport to meet him, and was excited because I was going to also meet his parents for the first time and some of his family. I didn't expect to see like 30 family members there and several of his friends. It was nuts!!!! It was all fuzzy wuzzy because when he walked out into International Arrivals in his dress uniform, he got a standing ovation. It was SO COOL. I ran up to him and hugged and kissed him first, his mom barely held back enough so I could do that, which was sweet because it had been a long time since they had seen him...and only a few months for me. So everyone is jumping around and excited and then all of a sudden everything clears away. It is just us standing there!!! DH tells me how much he loves me, and then asks if he can borrow the claddagh ring on my left hand. I giggle and say sure, and he pulls it off slowly and stalls a bit by saying 'hi!' and 'I love you!' and other cute stuff. Then he pulls a box out of his pocket and kneels down. These ladies waiting in arrivals squeal and run around the pillar so they can see better, and he asks me to marry him. I say yes!!! And he puts the ring on my finger and stands up to kiss me. Another standing ovation! wow!!!!! It was then crazy because I met all of his family members, apparently it was the first time his maternal and paternal grandmas were in the same place for more than 20 years!!!! They got a limo for us to ride home in, which was awesome. MIL had someone film the whole thing and other people were taking pictures, so all of it is documented.
I called my bff's first and then surprised my parents when we went home the next week to visit.

It was a cool way to get engaged because of how dramatic our relationship was while he was in Iraq. It was like it all fit. But if he had done it in private or just given me a ring, or something...it wouldn't matter. Cause you know what? we love each other. He's my best bud. We got married, and we have a great partnership with communication, honesty, and all the important elements. Really, if those things are in place it shouldn't matter to anybody else but you. We were engaged for over 2 years, no short engagement by any stretch - I had friends get engaged and married within those two years, so it was kind of odd to sit back and watch. Just find what fits in your relationship and roll with it. But it sounds like an engagement is important to you, so maybe just bring it up to him, that you would have liked to have been asked the question when he gave you the ring. He may ask to borrow it

I didnt think he would ask me in Hawaii until I found a reciept he bought a peice of jewlery. (BFF think's it might be an add on or something. A second ring!?) But maybe for Christmas?? That's what he's telling me. He said, "I wont give it to you before Christmas because I want to wrap it." But they guy HATES wrapping things. So who knows?? Maybe it'll just be a regular birthday present?? Anyways, my BFF got the damn idea in my head. I'm trying hard not to think he will because I dont want to be sad that he wont. I'm not the type of person to dwell on it and have it ruin my time. IM GOING TO ENJOY MY VACATION! I've told DF nicely how I would have loved for him to actually pop the question (before we bought my ring). Who knows, boy might not ever offically ask. I'll be fine with that. Like you said, I got the right ending!

I love hearing about you and DH! Hes such a sweet guy!! I love how he reads some stuff on here with you! DF does with me at times too. Fun to bond over. HAHAHHAA!! Love your story, it's soooo romantic.

oo0ehxtahcee0oo · Dec 16th, 2007, 05:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Speedy

Uh, he and I were sitting outside my dinky little apartment eating pizza and drinking beer, watching my son play in the yard, and he asked me if I'd marry him. I said I'd think about it. That was 1988.

Several years later, a family member told me that he worshiped the ground I walked on, and I wasn't getting any younger, we'd been living together for over 7 years, so JUST DO IT!

I went into the kitchen where DH was and I just said "Yes." He said "Yes, what?" I replied "Yes, I'll marry you." That was in October of 1995, we married in May of the next year.

HAHAHAA!!

best story ever!!

Speedy · Dec 16th, 2007, 05:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by candace117

LOL...Speedy I love you guys and I've never even met either of you. I grew up in Nor Cal, I wish I'd have known you were around when I was still there.

Oh, you'd adore us... especially since we have strong military backgrounds and love and respect what the kids of today like you are doing!

You grew up here? Where abouts? I'm in Mendocino County now.

candace117 · Dec 16th, 2007, 05:41 AM

Ohhh wow! I grew up going over to Fort Bragg every summer for the 4th of July celebration in Noyo Harbor...my dad's got some really good family friends that we call 'uncle' and 'cousin' and whatnot, I love going to that part of the coast. We'd always go to Mendocino as well.

I grew up inland, I'm a land lubber...haha! Near Chico :)

Speedy · Dec 16th, 2007, 05:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by candace117

Ohhh wow! I grew up going over to Fort Bragg every summer for the 4th of July celebration in Noyo Harbor...my dad's got some really good family friends that we call 'uncle' and 'cousin' and whatnot, I love going to that part of the coast. We'd always go to Mendocino as well.

I grew up inland, I'm a land lubber...haha! Near Chico :)

COOL! DH and I go to the little town of Mendocino all the time, taking Hiway 20 into Fort Bragg! In fact, my avatar was taken there this last September, down along the main road where you go to the spot for whale-watching.

I know Chico, heck, I know all over N. California... love it up here.

Opps, I think we highjacked oo0ehxtahcee0oo's thread! LOL! Sowwy!

chipmunk-pnw · Dec 16th, 2007, 05:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by candace117

2. Winking suggestively while on the top of the Eiffel Tower is tacky, and won't make him propose to you sooner. Why get irate over it? You're on top of the Eiffel tower with your significant other, who you love. ENJOY IT!!! (same goes for when you go to Hawaii, if you are expecting an official proposal the whole time you will be on edge and won't enjoy the vacation as much. Just enjoy being away from home with him and it will give you much brighter memories than if he doesn't get on one knee and you were expecting it).

I think you misread my post! I didn't go to Eiffel Tower. It was my friend and his girlfriend who went there, he brought her on that trip and she assumed he was going to propose. I didn't say it is the way to get him to propose!! I'm just suggesting to thread poster that going/doing somewhere out of the ordinary doesn't guarantee a proposal, so as her mom said, she shouldn't get her hopes up high.

oo0ehxtahcee0oo you really need to ask him if he's going to propose formally, no use guessing here and there. If he sees it matters to you he'd do it. I'm sure it matters, why would you post about it? :P

candace117 · Dec 16th, 2007, 06:04 AM

No, I read that it was your friend taking his GF, and I still think it was unbelievably tacky of her to be blatantly hinting that she was expecting him to do something special. When it is special enough to be on top of the Eiffel Tower with a loved one in and of itself! Bad on her to assume things, good on him to take her on a great trip like that. Some people just get too far ahead of themselves instead of living in a great moment.

Extahcee will be great no matter what happens! She's a strong gal, right gf?

oo0ehxtahcee0oo · Dec 16th, 2007, 06:12 AM

Man you guys make it seem like im not already engaged. LOL. Thanks Candace for all your kind words. And this Hawaii trip isnt out of the ordinary, it's for my birthday. I try to go every year around my birthday ever since I found my long lost Aunt who lives there. So it not like this trip was out of the blue and I'm thinking he'll pop the question. I didnt even think that until my BFF called me and told me her BF just proposed to her tonight at disneyland. She just mentioned how she had a feeling that DF would offically ask me while were in Hawaii. He might not. I'm not thinking he would because I honestly dont think he's going to offically ask. I really think we're going to be like my parents and just get married how they did.

x joie · Dec 16th, 2007, 06:19 AM

oo0ehxtahcee0oo: I gather that you are Asian (from your avator pic). Although I am personally not engaged, I do understand and relate to your story about not being formally proposed to. I think that chipmunk-pnw is mistaken about your relationship. No one in my family was ever formally proposed to- it was either just asking the parents and then giving her a ring, or just casually referenced to before starting the plans. So don't worry, not getting a formal proposal doesn't mean anything- esp since you are guys are already planning a wedding! Everyone does things differently- what is important is what works for you guys.

My bf and I have always talked about getting married. So we're very similar to you & your fiance. Only difference is that I'm really upfront with everything- so my dear bf knows that I want a proposal. If I wasn't so clear about what I want, then I'm assuming that we would just one day start planning a life together. I mean, we already have the ring picked out and everything!

Btw: Candace117 said some great stuff!

Great post, candace!

Dec 16th, 2007, 03:16 AM	#1
oo0ehxtahcee0oo ☺Livin the good life Location: ♥In my DF's arms♥	Your engagement story!! I wrote a bit about this in another thread, but I wanted to know everyone else's storys/thoughts as well. It's a weird story how DF and I got "engaged". It was last Christmas (2006) and he never really popped the question. We've always talked about getting married and what not, and I got my ring and all, but I feel like it's not "offical offical" yet. I know I'm weird, but I just feel like I really want him to ask me. I've told my BFF that, and she said she understands. (are we the only two who feel that way?!) My BFF thinks he might officially ask me this January when we're in Hawaii for my birthday. My Mom just says dont get you're hopes up because he might not. I mean, he might not ever. We already knew we would get married, so I don't know if he (as a guy) realize how important it is to still pop the question. He might not ever ask officially. I won't be oober sad (just a little though) because we're already engaged and are starting to plan the wedding, but I can't help but want to hear the question... How did you and your SO get engaged?? Did it matter to you if it was official or not? Who did you call first?? So many questions. My mind is boggling. __________________ [Click photo to read thread!] My blog site has great FREE goodies!! (updated 11/26) www,dearmissie.blogspot.com We did it!! New Crafts Subforum celebration here!!

Dec 16th, 2007, 05:02 AM	#2
chipmunk-pnw ^.^ Location: USA	Re: Your engagement story!! Ahem. There's no such thing as engaged with "". You either are or you just aren't. If you're certain this is the guy you want to marry you would care. First you need to be honest with yourself, who thought of getting engaged and married first? If it was you who hinted or suggested, then getting him to propose properly will take some time, according to his wishes and not yours anymore. Many men buy their ladies rings, even diamond solitaires, but that doesn't mean they are proposing! I can tell you many of my girl friends received rings like these with no proposal in sight for years, a couple ended up dumping the guy, so beware. Most men are laid back by nature, and take things in stride. They have no biological clock to worry about unlike us, so there is no rush. However when they meet someone they love so deeply they want to spend the rest of their life with her, they would suddenly be spontaneous and do everything to make that happen. I've come across cases where men who used to live like there's no tomorrow, suddenly propose 3 mths into the relationship. Till then, hurrying him and hoping that something concrete will happen soon will only add wrinkles to your beautiful face. It also really doesn't mean that if a guy takes you on a special getaway something special will happen... after all you already got your ring. He'll probably be wondering what else do you want? I have a friend who took his girlfriend to Paris, right to the top of Eiffel Tower, and he recalled her standing there winking suggestively. When nothing happened she got quite irate and tried to hide her feelings, they have been dating for 5 years and he still couldn't fathom why she reacted that way. Of course she was expecting a proposal but he wasn't ready. So yeah your mommy's right, don't expect anything. A guy pops the question when he is ready, and when he is 100% sure. Factors that might hinder or prolong his decision can be 1) he's not sure if he wants you to be the mother of his children, 2) he's not financially ready, sure he may be rich but maybe he's saving up for a large mansion, 3) he's still enjoying being a carefree bachelor. Number 2 reason is very valid, as some men pride themselves in being able to be the sole breadwinner of the family and is prepared to take x years to get a job that pays well as they may not qualify for it at the moment. If you're really anxious to know if he's going to propose, ask him indirectly. Doesn't hurt to ask where you two will be in 2 years or something like that. If all else fails there's always the ultimatum approach, but save this for the last resort. You will be surprised but I read it somewhere that 75% of women have to drop hints to get their partner to propose sooner, and I'm part of that statistic! To answer your question, my husband proposed to me at the airport in public on bended knee. I was about to catch a flight overseas for work, alone. I sorta knew moments before that as soon as he whipped out a Tiffany blue box. Prior to that, I've only got a Promise ring and that's about it. Apparently he bought the engagement ring 6 mths before. Wonder what took him so long to propose? Men!

Dec 16th, 2007, 05:26 AM	#4
candace117 Pirate Trash Location: Hardcorvallis	Re: Your engagement story!! ^This post gave my DH very negative feelings and I wouldn't really follow any of the advice given either. 1. Men do have a biological clock - they don't go through the trials of menopause and it does not happen as early as it does for women, but they do become impotent, one day they just stop producing sperm. 2. Winking suggestively while on the top of the Eiffel Tower is tacky, and won't make him propose to you sooner. Why get irate over it? You're on top of the Eiffel tower with your significant other, who you love. ENJOY IT!!! (same goes for when you go to Hawaii, if you are expecting an official proposal the whole time you will be on edge and won't enjoy the vacation as much. Just enjoy being away from home with him and it will give you much brighter memories than if he doesn't get on one knee and you were expecting it). 3. Don't give an ultimatum, please please please. It's not a last resort, it's just a way to end the relationship. Why would you want to live your life with a man that only proposed to you and married you because you gave a veiled, or not so veiled threat? I wouldn't. I do agree that men will propose when they are ready, as in, they make sure they are ready and that you are ready. They aren't morons and they are thinking about these things even if it seems they aren't. It definitely holds true that women are more vocally detail-oriented than men are, and men keep any details they notice to themselves. And then, when you think they have forgotten, they surprise you. Darling extahcee, if you are already planning your wedding, you've got the better ending! Remember that engagements are a temporary stopover for the real thing you're aiming for. If you don't really have an engagement period, that's not breaking any rules, and it's definitely okay. If you have a problem with it, ask him, but don't confront him or come off like you are expecting it to happen at a specific time. I'm generally more laid back about these things than other people, so nobody else may agree with what I am saying. It also sounds like you have a lovely ring, which is more than other women get for a long time! As for my engagement story, DH got off active duty and flew home to Oregon from Germany. I went to the airport to meet him, and was excited because I was going to also meet his parents for the first time and some of his family. I didn't expect to see like 30 family members there and several of his friends. It was nuts!!!! It was all fuzzy wuzzy because when he walked out into International Arrivals in his dress uniform, he got a standing ovation. It was SO COOL. I ran up to him and hugged and kissed him first, his mom barely held back enough so I could do that, which was sweet because it had been a long time since they had seen him...and only a few months for me. So everyone is jumping around and excited and then all of a sudden everything clears away. It is just us standing there!!! DH tells me how much he loves me, and then asks if he can borrow the claddagh ring on my left hand. I giggle and say sure, and he pulls it off slowly and stalls a bit by saying 'hi!' and 'I love you!' and other cute stuff. Then he pulls a box out of his pocket and kneels down. These ladies waiting in arrivals squeal and run around the pillar so they can see better, and he asks me to marry him. I say yes!!! And he puts the ring on my finger and stands up to kiss me. Another standing ovation! wow!!!!! It was then crazy because I met all of his family members, apparently it was the first time his maternal and paternal grandmas were in the same place for more than 20 years!!!! They got a limo for us to ride home in, which was awesome. MIL had someone film the whole thing and other people were taking pictures, so all of it is documented. I called my bff's first and then surprised my parents when we went home the next week to visit. It was a cool way to get engaged because of how dramatic our relationship was while he was in Iraq. It was like it all fit. But if he had done it in private or just given me a ring, or something...it wouldn't matter. Cause you know what? we love each other. He's my best bud. We got married, and we have a great partnership with communication, honesty, and all the important elements. Really, if those things are in place it shouldn't matter to anybody else but you. We were engaged for over 2 years, no short engagement by any stretch - I had friends get engaged and married within those two years, so it was kind of odd to sit back and watch. Just find what fits in your relationship and roll with it. But it sounds like an engagement is important to you, so maybe just bring it up to him, that you would have liked to have been asked the question when he gave you the ring. He may ask to borrow it __________________ "With so much drama in the L-B-C, it's kinda hard bein Snoop D-O-double G."

Dec 16th, 2007, 05:33 AM	#5
Speedy Sofa King Banned Location: N. California	Re: Your engagement story!! Uh, he and I were sitting outside my dinky little apartment eating pizza and drinking beer, watching my son play in the yard, and he asked me if I'd marry him. I said I'd think about it. That was 1988. Several years later, a family member told me that he worshiped the ground I walked on, and I wasn't getting any younger, we'd been living together for over 7 years, so JUST DO IT! I went into the kitchen where DH was and I just said "Yes." He said "Yes, what?" I replied "Yes, I'll marry you." That was in October of 1995, we married in May of the next year.

Dec 16th, 2007, 05:34 AM	#6
candace117 Pirate Trash Location: Hardcorvallis	Re: Your engagement story!! LOL...Speedy I love you guys and I've never even met either of you. I grew up in Nor Cal, I wish I'd have known you were around when I was still there. __________________ "With so much drama in the L-B-C, it's kinda hard bein Snoop D-O-double G."

Dec 16th, 2007, 05:41 AM	#10
candace117 Pirate Trash Location: Hardcorvallis	Re: Your engagement story!! Ohhh wow! I grew up going over to Fort Bragg every summer for the 4th of July celebration in Noyo Harbor...my dad's got some really good family friends that we call 'uncle' and 'cousin' and whatnot, I love going to that part of the coast. We'd always go to Mendocino as well. I grew up inland, I'm a land lubber...haha! Near Chico :) __________________ "With so much drama in the L-B-C, it's kinda hard bein Snoop D-O-double G."

Dec 16th, 2007, 06:04 AM	#13
candace117 Pirate Trash Location: Hardcorvallis	Re: Your engagement story!! No, I read that it was your friend taking his GF, and I still think it was unbelievably tacky of her to be blatantly hinting that she was expecting him to do something special. When it is special enough to be on top of the Eiffel Tower with a loved one in and of itself! Bad on her to assume things, good on him to take her on a great trip like that. Some people just get too far ahead of themselves instead of living in a great moment. Extahcee will be great no matter what happens! She's a strong gal, right gf? __________________ "With so much drama in the L-B-C, it's kinda hard bein Snoop D-O-double G."

Dec 16th, 2007, 06:12 AM	#14
oo0ehxtahcee0oo ☺Livin the good life Location: ♥In my DF's arms♥	Re: Your engagement story!! Man you guys make it seem like im not already engaged. LOL. Thanks Candace for all your kind words. And this Hawaii trip isnt out of the ordinary, it's for my birthday. I try to go every year around my birthday ever since I found my long lost Aunt who lives there. So it not like this trip was out of the blue and I'm thinking he'll pop the question. I didnt even think that until my BFF called me and told me her BF just proposed to her tonight at disneyland. She just mentioned how she had a feeling that DF would offically ask me while were in Hawaii. He might not. I'm not thinking he would because I honestly dont think he's going to offically ask. I really think we're going to be like my parents and just get married how they did. __________________ [Click photo to read thread!] My blog site has great FREE goodies!! (updated 11/26) www,dearmissie.blogspot.com We did it!! New Crafts Subforum celebration here!!

Dec 16th, 2007, 06:19 AM	#15
x joie Member	Re: Your engagement story!! oo0ehxtahcee0oo: I gather that you are Asian (from your avator pic). Although I am personally not engaged, I do understand and relate to your story about not being formally proposed to. I think that chipmunk-pnw is mistaken about your relationship. No one in my family was ever formally proposed to- it was either just asking the parents and then giving her a ring, or just casually referenced to before starting the plans. So don't worry, not getting a formal proposal doesn't mean anything- esp since you are guys are already planning a wedding! Everyone does things differently- what is important is what works for you guys. My bf and I have always talked about getting married. So we're very similar to you & your fiance. Only difference is that I'm really upfront with everything- so my dear bf knows that I want a proposal. If I wasn't so clear about what I want, then I'm assuming that we would just one day start planning a life together. I mean, we already have the ring picked out and everything! Btw: Candace117 said some great stuff! Great post, candace!