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we CAN have it all
Location: over there..... and down a bit
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Yes! No! Wait... hold on... Yes hes here! Nope hes gone again! ..... wait... is he?
This is sort of inspired from another thread thats up at the moment about guys who keep changing their minds - and the girl being the unfortunate person who has to suffer each time he makes a change. 
Mods, please note, fake names have been used.
Im 21 years old and I recently broke up with a guy named Dan, 22. We met 4 years ago and became INSANELY close friends for 2 years. We even lived together for one year. You never saw one of us without the other. It was the best friendship Ive ever had with anyone. Then we realised our true feelings for each other and began dating. We dated for nearly 2 years. I was about to ask him to move out with me because I was dead-serious bout making us work. He is the only man ive ever loved, and the first real relationship ive had.
We were the type of couple that was always bickering - but not over anything huge. Id get upset if he didnt return my calls, ditched our plans at the last minute to go drinking with his friends, etc. But in October 2007 (towards the end of our relationship), things began to escalate. He's a chef that works full time so hes constantly stressed, tired and aggitated. Bad mix! He usually had a good temper around me though and hardly ever took it out on me. He was good like that! But he began to snap alot. He'd shout at me, throw things at me, give me the silent treatment, etc. It was my 21st birthday in that month and I remember he completley ruined the night.
He worked at the same venue that I was celebrating at. He finished his shift and I naturally thought he would join my friends and I. I hadnt seen or spoken to him the whole day. He walked out to where we were. He was sweaty and looked really, really tired. I waved him over to us. He gave me a cold nod, and walked outside to have a ciggarette. After waiting for 45 MINUTES!! for him to reappear, I walked outside to find him. He was sitting in the smoking area with his friend Tom, both smoking and drinking beer, watching the soccer match on tv. I got really upset because he flat out refused to join me. My friends came over to see where I had gone and they witnessed a big fight between me and Dan. He insulted me, he insulted my friends, then draining the last of his beer, he picked up his keys and stormed out. I was just standing there in a party dress, crying, watching him walk away.
4 days later, he called me up on my mobile phone while he was out at a bar drinking with his friends. He dumped me. I remember the phone call went for 20 minutes - basically me crying my eyes out asking him "Why?" 
To this very day, I have no idea why he dumped me. He avoided giving an answer each time.
2 weeks later, in November, we bumped into each other. He was very sorry and teary-eyed when he confronted me. He wasnt being sleazy, but he asked me for a hug "Coz its been far too long since our last one". Long story short, I ended up back at his place. We kissed, we hugged, I stayed over (nothing more happened). We spent the next day together, hanging out as a couple again. It was great. It was like we just needed that 2 week break yknow? I stayed over his place again that night and I fell asleep in his arms, listening to him say "You are my princess.. I love you."
The next day, monday, he sent me a txt msg saying "I cant do this." and he completly ignored me.
WTF!! Well I cut off all communication! I blocked him from myspace, facebook, hotmail, changed my mobile phone number. All of that. YES, I was heartbroken and depressed BEYOND words but I was so, so angry aswell. Because of this action, he was gone from my life through November, December and January. But, at the end of January, I accidently called his phone. (I was meant to call Dad but accidently called Dan as they were next to each other in my phonebook). He got my number, begins sending me txt msgs about how he had been trying to contact me for 2 months "Becoz breaking up with you was a mistake. A huge f***ing mistake.", etc, etc. Im not that easy to sway so we talked about 'us' for ages. Last week, I agreed to meet him - just to watch a movie and hang out like the friends we once were.
We talked for HOURS... he told me how "I'm still in love wit u. I still wake up though the nite wishing u were there next to me.I was serious when I said id marry you. You mean the world to me and always will. I feel so empty with out u." He kissed me and things got a little hot and heavy... But I thought "Oh my gosh! Im kissing the guy that hurt me!"
So I backed off and said "I cant go from zero to a hundred in one night Dan. You really hurt me. Theres alot we need to work out." He totally understood and said "I dont want to rush anything, because Im afraid I will f**k things up again." I was at least grateful that he was willing to try and take it slow for me.
The next day, I sent him a txt msg saying I was happy that we are hanging out again and trying to work through our problems, "..but until I know where we stand, I thinik we should lay off the physical side of things because that will just confuse us."
He didnt take that well. He got very angry and said "You know where you stand!" But after explaining that "I need time and patience. I need you to give me that to know if this is going to work", he apologised and said "I am willing to give you all the time in the world. Because I am serious about us. You have no idea."
Its been 10 days since he said that^^^ because...... surprise, surprise! He's ignoring me again. Im talking, WILL NOT reply to anything I do. Wont even wave to me in public!
Advice? Hard criticism?? Trust me, I need both! I need help. Im at a fork-in-the-road...
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Live Now. Kill The Boredom
Last edited by April_Skye; Feb 14th, 2008 at 09:40 PM.
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