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PurseAddict79 · Sep 28th, 2009, 02:53 PM

Saturday was my 30th birthday and no one in my family called, texted, sent a card... nothing. It went completely unnoticed.

There's tension between my brother and dad and I over another situation (Difficult situation w/ my brother (Long!)) but seriously? My own mom didn't call.

I haven't heard from any of them... still. I cried on my birthday, and my poor boyfriend was stuck trying to "fix" something he couldn't fix.

Am I being oversensitive? I realize I'm not a kid anymore and birthdays aren't a big deal to adults, but to not even send a quick "Happy Birthday" text seems really insensitive and hurtful. I feel like the black sheep (which I pretty much am in my family anyway)

gina2328 · Sep 28th, 2009, 03:06 PM

Hmmmm. My family doesn't call me on my birthday. I get a card but sometimes it comes late. Birthdays are overrated IMO. Maybe I'm a bit sensitive but when I was growing up my parents never celebrated my birthday, never got a cake or a party.

My DH is very nice to me on my birthday which makes me feel good.

Sorry to hear about your Birthday, and Happy Belated Birthday!

sophiae · Sep 28th, 2009, 03:11 PM

No, you're not being over sensitive. I'd be hurt, too. I gauge my relationships with people that way, also. If they're around or acknowledge you on holidays or your birthday, it tells you a lot. There was one friend I was ready to write off, just before my birthday, because I felt like it was one-sided, and then all of a sudden he texted me to say happy birthday, so I decided to keep him as a friend.

Happy Birthday, by the way.

vhdos · Sep 28th, 2009, 03:32 PM

Typically, the only person I hear from on my birthday is my dad, and that's usually late. I don't care so much because I don't think that birthdays are that big of a deal unless you're a kid.
You could do one of two things to avoid this in the future: you could lower your expectations and not feel so bad when no one remembers OR you could remind people that your birthday is coming up.

amymaria · Sep 28th, 2009, 03:47 PM

My family forgot my birthday a few times. I was 18 once. That was the first time. Maybe I don't put too much emphasis on that sort of thing but it didn't bother me too much.

Were people busy maybe?

Beenie · Sep 28th, 2009, 04:00 PM

PurseAddict I am so sorry about your birthday. I don't think you are being overly sensitive at all. I just turned 30 as well and it was a HUGE deal and I had celebrations with my friends and family and I would have been hurt if everyone hadn't made a big deal. I come from a family where birthdays ARE a huge deal, adult or not. DH comes from one that it isn't a big deal, so while I think THEY are crazy, he thinks my family is

. He even gets kind of upset when they go all out for him since he doesn't get it.

I hope your DBF and you had a nice time with the exception of your family's lack of communication.

~Fabulousity~ · Sep 28th, 2009, 04:05 PM

I would be hurt too! Turning 30 is a milestone as far as i'm concerned. And to think about it i'd be hurt even if I was turning any other age. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

PurseAddict79 · Sep 28th, 2009, 04:14 PM

Thanks you guys...

I guess part of the reason I got so hurt is because I have 2 little brothers and their bdays are always a huge deal... big BBQ, gifts, etc. I haven't gotten a gift since my 17th bday, and now this year, which IMO was a big milestone, I didn't even get a call.

Oh well... at least my dbf and several friends (and now my tpf family) wished me a happy bday...

juneping · Sep 28th, 2009, 04:17 PM

I think since my 18th bday (my mom gave me money to buy my own bday cake), my parents just forgot about it. And this year my whole family forgot my bday.
It's not that big of deal to me.
Feel better. Happy belated birthday!

Cheetah7 · Sep 28th, 2009, 04:29 PM

Happy Birthday! I just had my 23rd b-day this past June and NONE of my family members, (parents, sister and brother) called me on my birthday. This is the second time this has happened now. The only people that remembered it are my DH and some friends. Your feelings are valid but perhaps it would be better if you don't expect this from your family from now on. I know if I'd been only a kid, I'd probably be real upset but it's no big deal anymore. Come to think of it, we didn't really make a big deal out of b-days since we were kids.

bagaholic85 · Sep 28th, 2009, 04:33 PM

i would be hurt too, but my family makes a big to-do about birthdays. in reality, we make a big to do about anything that you can get together for lol.

either way, i dont think ur being childish or selfish. sorry they didnt get in touch and happy birthday!!

jennalovesbags · Sep 28th, 2009, 04:43 PM

so sorry, but we all wish you a happy belated!!

LeeMiller · Sep 28th, 2009, 04:47 PM

I would be hurt too!! Happy Birthday though, at least you have a sweet boyfriend to take care of you!

PurseAddict79 · Sep 28th, 2009, 04:50 PM

Originally Posted by Cheetah7

Happy Birthday! I just had my 23rd b-day this past June and NONE of my family members, (parents, sister and brother) called me on my birthday. This is the second time this has happened now. The only people that remembered it are my DH and some friends. Your feelings are valid but perhaps it would be better if you don't expect this from your family from now on. I know if I'd been only a kid, I'd probably be real upset but it's no big deal anymore. Come to think of it, we didn't really make a big deal out of b-days since we were kids.

I think that's what it all comes down to... I expected them to call and shouldn't have...

No expectations, no disappointment right?

Jeneen · Sep 28th, 2009, 04:58 PM

Not getting a call from your own parents on your birthday is just not right in my opinion. They birthed you? They were there when you were born, right? They gave you life, why wouldn't they want to give you a 1 minute call to celebrate 30 years on the earth? Even if they didn't physically give birth to you (adoption, etc) they should give you courtesy of a 1 minute phone call.

I don't think you are over-reacting to be hurt, and I hope that after some time or a talk with them you will be able to move forward.

Happy Birthday!

Sep 28th, 2009, 02:53 PM	#1
PurseAddict79 OP PerpetuallyPenniless Joined: Sep 2008 Location: The Mall Posts: 1,235	Would you be hurt? Saturday was my 30th birthday and no one in my family called, texted, sent a card... nothing. It went completely unnoticed. There's tension between my brother and dad and I over another situation (Difficult situation w/ my brother (Long!)) but seriously? My own mom didn't call. I haven't heard from any of them... still. I cried on my birthday, and my poor boyfriend was stuck trying to "fix" something he couldn't fix. Am I being oversensitive? I realize I'm not a kid anymore and birthdays aren't a big deal to adults, but to not even send a quick "Happy Birthday" text seems really insensitive and hurtful. I feel like the black sheep (which I pretty much am in my family anyway)

Sep 28th, 2009, 03:06 PM	#2
gina2328 Member Joined: Jul 2007 Location: Michigan Posts: 625	Hmmmm. My family doesn't call me on my birthday. I get a card but sometimes it comes late. Birthdays are overrated IMO. Maybe I'm a bit sensitive but when I was growing up my parents never celebrated my birthday, never got a cake or a party. My DH is very nice to me on my birthday which makes me feel good. Sorry to hear about your Birthday, and Happy Belated Birthday!
	__________________ Dress shabbily and they remember the dress; dress impeccably and they remember the woman -- Coco Chanel

Sep 28th, 2009, 03:11 PM	#3
sophiae Member Joined: Sep 2006 Location: six feet under the stars Posts: 2,955	No, you're not being over sensitive. I'd be hurt, too. I gauge my relationships with people that way, also. If they're around or acknowledge you on holidays or your birthday, it tells you a lot. There was one friend I was ready to write off, just before my birthday, because I felt like it was one-sided, and then all of a sudden he texted me to say happy birthday, so I decided to keep him as a friend. Happy Birthday, by the way.
	__________________ Sophia I've learned not to judge anyone based on the past... People are always changing.

Sep 28th, 2009, 03:32 PM	#4
vhdos Member Joined: May 2007 Location: NC Posts: 3,144	Typically, the only person I hear from on my birthday is my dad, and that's usually late. I don't care so much because I don't think that birthdays are that big of a deal unless you're a kid. You could do one of two things to avoid this in the future: you could lower your expectations and not feel so bad when no one remembers OR you could remind people that your birthday is coming up.
vhdos Member Joined: May 2007 Location: NC Posts: 3,144	__________________ visit Bonanzle.com

Sep 28th, 2009, 03:47 PM	#5
amymaria I is Hello Kitty? Joined: Jan 2009 Location: Toronto Posts: 1,135	My family forgot my birthday a few times. I was 18 once. That was the first time. Maybe I don't put too much emphasis on that sort of thing but it didn't bother me too much. Were people busy maybe?
	__________________ Blog + Twitter www.kittypinkpaisley.com Sarcasm, Love to Hate and Hello Kitty http://twitter.com/amc_kpp

Sep 28th, 2009, 04:00 PM	#6
Beenie is a Greedy Smurf Joined: Dec 2008 Location: Sunny Florida Posts: 643	PurseAddict I am so sorry about your birthday. I don't think you are being overly sensitive at all. I just turned 30 as well and it was a HUGE deal and I had celebrations with my friends and family and I would have been hurt if everyone hadn't made a big deal. I come from a family where birthdays ARE a huge deal, adult or not. DH comes from one that it isn't a big deal, so while I think THEY are crazy, he thinks my family is . He even gets kind of upset when they go all out for him since he doesn't get it. I hope your DBF and you had a nice time with the exception of your family's lack of communication.

Sep 28th, 2009, 04:05 PM	#7
~Fabulousity~ Member Joined: Jan 2006 Posts: 12,946	I would be hurt too! Turning 30 is a milestone as far as i'm concerned. And to think about it i'd be hurt even if I was turning any other age. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
~Fabulousity~ Member Joined: Jan 2006 Posts: 12,946

Sep 28th, 2009, 04:14 PM	#8
PurseAddict79 OP PerpetuallyPenniless Joined: Sep 2008 Location: The Mall Posts: 1,235	Thanks you guys... I guess part of the reason I got so hurt is because I have 2 little brothers and their bdays are always a huge deal... big BBQ, gifts, etc. I haven't gotten a gift since my 17th bday, and now this year, which IMO was a big milestone, I didn't even get a call. Oh well... at least my dbf and several friends (and now my tpf family) wished me a happy bday...

Sep 28th, 2009, 04:17 PM	#9
juneping couch potato-ing Joined: Jun 2007 Location: NYC Posts: 4,355	I think since my 18th bday (my mom gave me money to buy my own bday cake), my parents just forgot about it. And this year my whole family forgot my bday. It's not that big of deal to me. Feel better. Happy belated birthday!
	__________________ wish list: purse ban until the cc is paid off $10200 paid off...$3300 to go .....oh..i can't wait...

Sep 28th, 2009, 04:29 PM	#10
Cheetah7 Member Joined: Aug 2009 Location: Here, there and everywhere Posts: 302	Happy Birthday! I just had my 23rd b-day this past June and NONE of my family members, (parents, sister and brother) called me on my birthday. This is the second time this has happened now. The only people that remembered it are my DH and some friends. Your feelings are valid but perhaps it would be better if you don't expect this from your family from now on. I know if I'd been only a kid, I'd probably be real upset but it's no big deal anymore. Come to think of it, we didn't really make a big deal out of b-days since we were kids.
	__________________

Sep 28th, 2009, 04:33 PM	#11
bagaholic85 Member Joined: Sep 2007 Location: i <3 ny Posts: 5,090	i would be hurt too, but my family makes a big to-do about birthdays. in reality, we make a big to do about anything that you can get together for lol. either way, i dont think ur being childish or selfish. sorry they didnt get in touch and happy birthday!!

Sep 28th, 2009, 04:43 PM	#12
jennalovesbags Member Joined: Dec 2008 Location: Yankees Universe Posts: 1,875	so sorry, but we all wish you a happy belated!!
	__________________ My slowly growing collection Photos (updated 09/16/09) http://forum.purseblog.com/album.php?u=173241 (no boutique, outlet, ebay or bonanzle) until I graduate with my masters on 5/15/10 OR a job! Wishing for the new owl fob

Sep 28th, 2009, 04:47 PM	#13
LeeMiller Member Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 3,325	I would be hurt too!! Happy Birthday though, at least you have a sweet boyfriend to take care of you!
LeeMiller Member Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 3,325	__________________

Sep 28th, 2009, 04:58 PM	#15
Jeneen Member Joined: Feb 2009 Location: up in the gym workin on my fitness Posts: 2,761	Not getting a call from your own parents on your birthday is just not right in my opinion. They birthed you? They were there when you were born, right? They gave you life, why wouldn't they want to give you a 1 minute call to celebrate 30 years on the earth? Even if they didn't physically give birth to you (adoption, etc) they should give you courtesy of a 1 minute phone call. I don't think you are over-reacting to be hurt, and I hope that after some time or a talk with them you will be able to move forward. Happy Birthday!
	__________________ *Jeneen* Stop searching forever, happiness is just next to you. - dbf's fortune cookie

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