Witness to parent cheating

Zophie · Jun 26th, 2008, 05:27 PM

Honestly, if it were to happen to me I'd tell the other parent. If someone cheated on me I'd want to know.

BTBF · Jun 26th, 2008, 06:01 PM

Don't confront the cheating parent, take some pictures and gave them to the other parent.

OHgirl · Jun 26th, 2008, 11:50 PM

I was in a situation when I was a teen where my mom was cheating on my dad and I knew about it and knew the man she was seeing. He was married too. She didn't go into explicit detail, but she did tell me all about him and told me that she loved him. My parents marriage had been rocky for years before this happened, but I still felt horrible knowing but not being able to tell my dad. I don't know why I couldn't tell him, I just couldn't. I don't think I could now, 20 years later. Anyway, I really think it is a bad idea to get involved in any way in the relationship of your parents or have them come to you for advice. I really resent my mother putting me in that position.

bagnshoofetish · Jun 26th, 2008, 11:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BTBF

Don't confront the cheating parent, take some pictures and gave them to the other parent.

Izznit · Jun 27th, 2008, 04:57 AM

I always thought that I would hide it from the other parent, and just let the cheating parent know i knew. But when this similar event happened to me, i realized that it's the right thing for the non-cheating parent to know. Whether it be ME telling them, or me hinting at it [questions, like 'doesn't this look or seem a little strange?], i would make dang sure they knew what was going on. No one should be disrespected like that.

pattylauren · Jun 27th, 2008, 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bagnshoofetish

Parents need to own their own marital problems and NEVER involve their children. If I witnessed one of my parents doing something they shouldn't, I would not tell the other parent, as it would not be my place and would not want to be the one to bring that kind of pain to them. I'm not the cause of that pain. That is something for the cheating parent to own up to and is their responsibility to tell their spouse. I would probably let the offending parent know that I saw them though. That would be plenty for the that parent to chew on.

Ditto to this. Also, telling the nonoffending parent could backfire and cause more problems.

juneping · Jun 27th, 2008, 06:23 PM

i probably would confront the cheating parent...
but if someone cheat on me...i wish my friend or anyone would tell me. i don't want to live in a lie. but everyone is different...some choose to live in lie. so find out more b4 you do something biggish....

Bay · Jun 27th, 2008, 07:07 PM

I would tell the parent that was cheated on because I could not live with something like that. And I would talk to my parent that did cheat, actually I would not talk I would be so effing mad.

Veelyn · Jun 27th, 2008, 11:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LV Luvr

I caught my dad cheating on my mom all by accident one night. He could tell the look on my face that I knew. The next chance I had I stood there in front of them and said you tell her or I will. It wasn't pleasant, but I didn't feel it was fair to my mom. And I would do it all over again and that was 15 years ago. PM me if you would like to chat.

ITA with you. I would tell my other parent if I saw something like this, it would not be fair to them.

Lululovebags · Jun 28th, 2008, 02:27 AM

i would tell too.. no point sneaking around like some 15 year old. if they want to play with fire, they better learn how to take the heat. it won't be fair to the other spouse if we were to just keep quiet about it. better to just cut your losses and swim to the shore fast.

Bitten · Jun 28th, 2008, 05:23 AM

This is such a tough topic. I think it depends on the relationship between the parents and the child. I know my father cheated on my mother with his secretary. I have not told my mother and don't think I ever would. If they were still sleeping together I would have worried about STDs/STIs the same as for any friend whose partner was cheating on them. But since that was not a risk, I feel it's not that important. Why let that scum hurt her any more, kwim? Hard to explain, but the only thing I felt when I found out was more contempt for the rotting pig-skin that is my father.

Jun 26th, 2008, 05:27 PM	#16
Zophie I <3 my Maltese! Location: New Orleans, LA	Honestly, if it were to happen to me I'd tell the other parent. If someone cheated on me I'd want to know. __________________

Jun 26th, 2008, 11:50 PM	#18
OHgirl Member	I was in a situation when I was a teen where my mom was cheating on my dad and I knew about it and knew the man she was seeing. He was married too. She didn't go into explicit detail, but she did tell me all about him and told me that she loved him. My parents marriage had been rocky for years before this happened, but I still felt horrible knowing but not being able to tell my dad. I don't know why I couldn't tell him, I just couldn't. I don't think I could now, 20 years later. Anyway, I really think it is a bad idea to get involved in any way in the relationship of your parents or have them come to you for advice. I really resent my mother putting me in that position. __________________

Jun 27th, 2008, 06:23 PM	#22
juneping couch potato-ing Location: NYC	i probably would confront the cheating parent... but if someone cheat on me...i wish my friend or anyone would tell me. i don't want to live in a lie. but everyone is different...some choose to live in lie. so find out more b4 you do something biggish.... __________________ wish list: purse ban until the cc is paid off

Jun 27th, 2008, 07:07 PM	#23
Bay Purses are teh shiet Location: Somewhere I dont want to be..	I would tell the parent that was cheated on because I could not live with something like that. And I would talk to my parent that did cheat, actually I would not talk I would be so effing mad. __________________ Lusting for Prada/MiuMiu, Balenciaga and MJ..

Jun 28th, 2008, 02:27 AM	#25
Lululovebags Member Location: Earth	i would tell too.. no point sneaking around like some 15 year old. if they want to play with fire, they better learn how to take the heat. it won't be fair to the other spouse if we were to just keep quiet about it. better to just cut your losses and swim to the shore fast. __________________ "keep your head up high. there are ppl that would kill to see you fall".

Jun 26th, 2008, 06:01 PM	#17
BTBF Member	Don't confront the cheating parent, take some pictures and gave them to the other parent.

Jun 27th, 2008, 04:57 AM	#20
Izznit and 5, 6, 7, 8	I always thought that I would hide it from the other parent, and just let the cheating parent know i knew. But when this similar event happened to me, i realized that it's the right thing for the non-cheating parent to know. Whether it be ME telling them, or me hinting at it [questions, like 'doesn't this look or seem a little strange?], i would make dang sure they knew what was going on. No one should be disrespected like that.

Jun 28th, 2008, 05:23 AM	#26
Bitten Chic, not cheap. Location: On campus.	This is such a tough topic. I think it depends on the relationship between the parents and the child. I know my father cheated on my mother with his secretary. I have not told my mother and don't think I ever would. If they were still sleeping together I would have worried about STDs/STIs the same as for any friend whose partner was cheating on them. But since that was not a risk, I feel it's not that important. Why let that scum hurt her any more, kwim? Hard to explain, but the only thing I felt when I found out was more contempt for the rotting pig-skin that is my father. __________________ I appreciate fine things, but most of all, fine people.