"Will YOU be my girlfriend?"

annaversary · Jun 8th, 2008, 05:23 AM

First off, I'm 17 years old.

Somehow many tPFers always find that amusing.

Being 17, I currently have a very great boyfriend that I am with. We have been dating for about 2 years now. He never "ASKED" me to be his girlfriend, we just dated and we began "labeling" each other as girlfriend and boyfriend. Here's the thing, in the beginning while we were dating, I once told him that I find it silly to be "asked" to be a girlfriend. I personally just think it's sort of ridiculous to be asked to be someone's girlfriend because if you date someone for a long time, don't you just become committed to that ONE person? Why do you need to be ASKED to be someone's girlfriend? Is it so he/she can feel a sense of power or for the other person to be claimed as "taken"?

I know alot of my friends/classmates in junior high and high school are aware of this question. I'VE BEEN ASKED THIS QUESTION. But one day, I just came to realize that this question is really silly.

My question is.. have you ever been ASKED to be a girlfriend? "Will you be my girlfriend?" by your current boyfriend or DH? & What do you think of the question?

Because I'm so curious... like, is this question just used in the TEENAGE world or do people over 20s use it too?

VPT · Jun 8th, 2008, 05:51 AM

No I don't ever remember being asked that, things just progressed naturally. And by the way I am married. At the end of the day it's not the question that matters, it's whether he'll be marrying me.

fufu · Jun 8th, 2008, 06:22 AM

my current bf did not ask the question, infact he just told me that he has feelings for me and eventually we got together, since then, our r/s grows and we becoming more loving each day. The question is not a matter, the most important is whether the both of you are really serious in this relationship.

lv_forever · Jun 8th, 2008, 08:16 AM

I don't think mine asked me either. Before we knew it, it was so obvious to us and everyone around us that we were an item. But the first time introduced me as his "girlfriend," I remember feeling pretty happy! Ahhh, those were the times.

barcreperie · Jun 8th, 2008, 08:31 AM

No, I don't ever remember being asked that question, it just became obvious that we were exclusive at some point. I do remember many moons ago the term 'going steady', where the boy gave the girl his signet bracelet, jacket, or whatever and that was supposed to mean something. Now I occasionally read about 'promise rings', and think that's supposed to be some sort of pre-engagement ring. It's probably the modern day equivalent to 'going steady', a tangible item representing a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.

Lululovebags · Jun 8th, 2008, 09:20 AM

dang, now that i think of it, my current bf also did not asked me to be his gf! we started as casual friends and from there, things progress..well, i did ask him previously about how come he never asked me properly, u know..and he just said, 'is there a need to? we're happy together now, aren't we?'

sheesshh! i think maybe boys felt shy perhaps about asking and stuff?

elizat · Jun 8th, 2008, 11:19 AM

I was only ever asked when I was maybe, 13-15. After that, things just progressed and whether or not the relationship was exclusive was discussed or just implied.

ShimmaPuff · Jun 8th, 2008, 11:24 AM

I seem to remember some incidences of that, but more in a childhood-to-junior-high or so context, and my childhood to junior high years were a very very very long time ago, so it would not surprise me if it was not something done much today even in that "tween" age group.

I don't have a recollection of it past that time, although when I was in high school, boys did ask you to "go steady" with them, but again, I think that would be something that was just a custom in the olden days, my impression is that today's teens don't really do a lot of asking or formal delineations or acknowledgement or much verbal communication of any kind about these things.

It seems they just sort of develop what used to be called "an understanding" back in times even more olden than my own!

maddog · Jun 8th, 2008, 12:31 PM

My ex at 19 y/o asked me to be his girlfriend, but he turned out to be an immature nut so that might not count.

Current bf, we never said "will you be my bf/gf?", but had the talk (a couple of times cuz his answer wasn't good the first time so I kept dating others) just to make clear that it was an exclusive relationship.

It's good to have a discussion cuz some guys use that as a loophole if you never talked about exclusivity.

candace117 · Jun 8th, 2008, 01:47 PM

My DH was in Iraq when our romantic interest arose...
so it wasn't so much a question of, "Will you be my girlfriend"...he asked if I was sure I wanted to wait for him to get home, because I had said I was going to...and he said he didn't want to hold me back from living real life in college...but I told him that was the dishonorable thing to do if I was claiming to love him like I did(still do)...

so there was a conversation, but for other reasons, and me stating to him that I would remain committed to him during his absence was sort of necessary. But there was no 'girlfriend/boyfriend' stuff mentioned like you were asking us.

illinirdhd · Jun 8th, 2008, 02:03 PM

The first time I was sure I was DH's girlfriend (and not just a friend) was when he introduced me as his girlfriend to the mailman. Romantic, huh?

karman · Jun 8th, 2008, 02:07 PM

My boyfriend didn't ask, but he told me on the phone, "so technically I'm your boyfriend now so..." I was 16 then. I'm going to be 20 in a week

Liz_x3 · Jun 8th, 2008, 03:28 PM

Yeah but I was in 3rd grade. Some little boy walked up to me and asked me to be his girlfriend on the playground. I said no and ran away. That was the good old days LOL.

exotikittenx · Jun 8th, 2008, 03:55 PM

I've never been asked that, usually I would start dating someone, and then after a while have a relationship "discussion" that gears toward, "Is this relationship getting more serious, are we dating exclusively?" etc.

lovinalotofbags · Jun 8th, 2008, 04:53 PM

Do not remember ever being asked to be a girlfriend, it was just understood. I think after being together for awhile, it will come out on how he or she introduces the other person or how they mention you in conversation. But if asked, you either say yes or a no. No need to harp on it, silly or not. It is a just a question. Try not to dissect or make fun of what someone else might take seriously. Happy relationship to you both.

Jun 8th, 2008, 05:23 AM	#1
annaversary DECEMBER 4,5,6 !!!!! Location: US > CA > LA	"Will YOU be my girlfriend?" First off, I'm 17 years old. Somehow many tPFers always find that amusing. Being 17, I currently have a very great boyfriend that I am with. We have been dating for about 2 years now. He never "ASKED" me to be his girlfriend, we just dated and we began "labeling" each other as girlfriend and boyfriend. Here's the thing, in the beginning while we were dating, I once told him that I find it silly to be "asked" to be a girlfriend. I personally just think it's sort of ridiculous to be asked to be someone's girlfriend because if you date someone for a long time, don't you just become committed to that ONE person? Why do you need to be ASKED to be someone's girlfriend? Is it so he/she can feel a sense of power or for the other person to be claimed as "taken"? I know alot of my friends/classmates in junior high and high school are aware of this question. I'VE BEEN ASKED THIS QUESTION. But one day, I just came to realize that this question is really silly. My question is.. have you ever been ASKED to be a girlfriend? "Will you be my girlfriend?" by your current boyfriend or DH? & What do you think of the question? Because I'm so curious... like, is this question just used in the TEENAGE world or do people over 20s use it too? __________________ RMinkette annaversary's WANT but CAN'T FIND list* Stud Clutch in Silver Spot Stud Clutch in Night MAC in Grape Croc MAC in Pink Croc MAC in Sea Green Rose in Night MAM in Stonewash Blue Matinee in Rose + Whitewash

Jun 8th, 2008, 05:51 AM	#2
VPT i ♥ blood oranges Location: Singapore / Vancouver	No I don't ever remember being asked that, things just progressed naturally. And by the way I am married. At the end of the day it's not the question that matters, it's whether he'll be marrying me. __________________

Jun 8th, 2008, 06:22 AM	#3
fufu <3 Chanel & Hermes Location: Singapore	my current bf did not ask the question, infact he just told me that he has feelings for me and eventually we got together, since then, our r/s grows and we becoming more loving each day. The question is not a matter, the most important is whether the both of you are really serious in this relationship. __________________ 2009 and 2010 Wishie List - Chanel Flap bag in RED / Burgundy (Caviar) - Vintage Chanel (Red in Caviar) - Hermes Kelly Pochette (Swift / Evergrain) BIG AIM - Hermes at 25 !!!

Jun 8th, 2008, 08:16 AM	#4
lv_forever Member	I don't think mine asked me either. Before we knew it, it was so obvious to us and everyone around us that we were an item. But the first time introduced me as his "girlfriend," I remember feeling pretty happy! Ahhh, those were the times. __________________ i love love

Jun 8th, 2008, 09:20 AM	#6
Lululovebags Member Location: Earth	dang, now that i think of it, my current bf also did not asked me to be his gf! we started as casual friends and from there, things progress..well, i did ask him previously about how come he never asked me properly, u know..and he just said, 'is there a need to? we're happy together now, aren't we?' sheesshh! i think maybe boys felt shy perhaps about asking and stuff? __________________ "keep your head up high. there are ppl that would kill to see you fall".

Jun 8th, 2008, 08:31 AM	#5
barcreperie Member	No, I don't ever remember being asked that question, it just became obvious that we were exclusive at some point. I do remember many moons ago the term 'going steady', where the boy gave the girl his signet bracelet, jacket, or whatever and that was supposed to mean something. Now I occasionally read about 'promise rings', and think that's supposed to be some sort of pre-engagement ring. It's probably the modern day equivalent to 'going steady', a tangible item representing a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.

Jun 8th, 2008, 11:19 AM	#7
elizat Member	I was only ever asked when I was maybe, 13-15. After that, things just progressed and whether or not the relationship was exclusive was discussed or just implied.

Jun 8th, 2008, 11:24 AM	#8
ShimmaPuff Sentient Post Whore Location: Earth	I seem to remember some incidences of that, but more in a childhood-to-junior-high or so context, and my childhood to junior high years were a very very very long time ago, so it would not surprise me if it was not something done much today even in that "tween" age group. I don't have a recollection of it past that time, although when I was in high school, boys did ask you to "go steady" with them, but again, I think that would be something that was just a custom in the olden days, my impression is that today's teens don't really do a lot of asking or formal delineations or acknowledgement or much verbal communication of any kind about these things. It seems they just sort of develop what used to be called "an understanding" back in times even more olden than my own! __________________ http://www.tzuchi.org/ http://www.commongroundrelief.org http://www.oxfamunwrapped.com/chooseagift.aspx Your Friendly Resident Poor Person Embrace Inspired Pride! http://mangonocturna.blogspot.com/

Jun 8th, 2008, 12:31 PM	#9
maddog Mmmkay	My ex at 19 y/o asked me to be his girlfriend, but he turned out to be an immature nut so that might not count. Current bf, we never said "will you be my bf/gf?", but had the talk (a couple of times cuz his answer wasn't good the first time so I kept dating others) just to make clear that it was an exclusive relationship. It's good to have a discussion cuz some guys use that as a loophole if you never talked about exclusivity.

Jun 8th, 2008, 01:47 PM	#10
candace117 Pirate Trash Location: Hardcorvallis	My DH was in Iraq when our romantic interest arose... so it wasn't so much a question of, "Will you be my girlfriend"...he asked if I was sure I wanted to wait for him to get home, because I had said I was going to...and he said he didn't want to hold me back from living real life in college...but I told him that was the dishonorable thing to do if I was claiming to love him like I did(still do)... so there was a conversation, but for other reasons, and me stating to him that I would remain committed to him during his absence was sort of necessary. But there was no 'girlfriend/boyfriend' stuff mentioned like you were asking us. __________________ "With so much drama in the L-B-C, it's kinda hard bein Snoop D-O-double G."

Jun 8th, 2008, 02:03 PM	#11
illinirdhd Sofa King Hooked Location: Las Vegas, NV	The first time I was sure I was DH's girlfriend (and not just a friend) was when he introduced me as his girlfriend to the mailman. Romantic, huh? __________________

Jun 8th, 2008, 02:07 PM	#12
karman nail polish addict Location: Canada	My boyfriend didn't ask, but he told me on the phone, "so technically I'm your boyfriend now so..." I was 16 then. I'm going to be 20 in a week __________________ karman Louis Vuitton, Chanel & nail polish View my collection here

Jun 8th, 2008, 03:28 PM	#13
Liz_x3 Member	Yeah but I was in 3rd grade. Some little boy walked up to me and asked me to be his girlfriend on the playground. I said no and ran away. That was the good old days LOL.

Jun 8th, 2008, 03:55 PM	#14
exotikittenx Ooh la la! Location: The City of Plain 'n Proper	I've never been asked that, usually I would start dating someone, and then after a while have a relationship "discussion" that gears toward, "Is this relationship getting more serious, are we dating exclusively?" etc. __________________ Please check out my collection! Click here.

Jun 8th, 2008, 04:53 PM	#15
lovinalotofbags In for the long haul Location: South Carolina	Do not remember ever being asked to be a girlfriend, it was just understood. I think after being together for awhile, it will come out on how he or she introduces the other person or how they mention you in conversation. But if asked, you either say yes or a no. No need to harp on it, silly or not. It is a just a question. Try not to dissect or make fun of what someone else might take seriously. Happy relationship to you both. __________________ Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.