Why do people plan to get engaged?

[bagaholic85]

Originally Posted by alliemia

i think it's an age thing. i see a lot of really young people talking about promise rings, planning to get engaged, pre-engagement, etc. i really don't see people over say 25 talking like that.

thats interesting...i never thought of it as an age thing, but ur probably right. maybe not age per se, but more like life stages, as in pre/post college, where your friends and relatives are in their relationships, etc.

[redney]

Originally Posted by alliemia

i think it's an age thing. i see a lot of really young people talking about promise rings, planning to get engaged, pre-engagement, etc. i really don't see people over say 25 talking like that.

ITA, that has been my experience too. Most of my friends got married in their late 20s/early 30s and none discussed planning to get engaged or pre-engagement to others - they just did it.

[twinkle.tink]

Engaged to be engaged...long engagement...plan to be engaged....different terms all go back to:

'reached an understanding'

Back when etiquette had more concrete rules, people did not get engaged without:

1) parent approval
2) a ring
3) a wedding in the near future (3-9 months)

Before those 3 things were in sight, it was said,a couple had 'reached an understanding', the couple and their inner most circle knew of the plans, but sharing the information to anyone else would be inappropriate.

I have to say, I do agree with the general principal idea. Honestly, telling me more is TMI, telling me we're getting married _____ (anything more than 1 year), is just hubris and inviting all kinds of awkward explanations.

[lightdays]

Originally Posted by digby723

I think most people end up with someone that they really love and both of them see marriage in their future but the timing isn't right, hence why they plan on getting engaged. Also, some people like to have plans and don't like to be surprised, which is another reason why people might like to plan on being engaged. Making sure both people are financially able to afford a ring and marriage also helps, so planning a time frame for an engagement helps make them meet a deadline, so to speak.

Yes this how I am with me and my boyfriend. We briefly talked about engagement, but we're not going to do it until we're both completely sure what we want to do with our life career wise and choices. I'm in school right now. I have two majors down for what I'm interested in, but as for a career I don't know exactly what I want to do. Also with the financial situations, we need to be steady on that.