why are boys so confusing?

cityivy · Dec 16th, 2007, 06:35 PM

for the past month, i worked with this boy who was really nice and cute. the problem is, i was sorta his boss for the month. we were always professional, but got to know each other as friends during the month. we had a lot of fun teasing each other and such. when the month ended, i sorta asked him out to a movie. we had talked about wanting to see a few of the movies that are out now, so i emailed him in a very casual way. so we ended up going to see the movie and it was fun (at least i had fun). but he didn't attempt to make any moves. before we parted ways at the end of the night, he said something to the effect of, "how about you let me buy you a drink when i get back (he's going out of the country for two weeks for his vacation)?" naturally, i said yes. i sorta feel the good vibe from him, but i do have a few concerns:

1. did he agree to go to the movie b/c he thought it was a movie between friends?
2. since i got to the theatre first and bought the tickets, did he offer to buy me a drink just to be friendly and repay me?
3. if he's interested, why didn't he attempt to make any moves?

what do you all think?

balihai88 · Dec 16th, 2007, 08:30 PM

I don't think he'd ask you out for a drink if he wasn't interested in spending more time with you. He may be hesitant to make a move because you are still getting to know each other, and because you work together....?

Jill · Dec 16th, 2007, 10:53 PM

Moving to relationships forum..........................

chipmunk-pnw · Dec 17th, 2007, 02:07 AM

You're his boss or at least his supervisor so he probably is feeling a little awkward, at least his trip will be time away to think about how to make his moves. Not all men are as spontaneous as you are, many are shy, so you gotta give them some time.

1. It's just a movie. Not some romantic candle-lit dinner or moonlight walk on the beach! Probably went because you asked him to :)
2. Not necessarily, but he could have wanted to repay you.
3. Not so fast, missy! Some guys like to play it slow. It's the chase that thrills them.

He's probably a decent guy that doesn't jump on you the moment he has his chance. He probably needs some time to know if you're just wanting a fling or a relationship. Plus the fact you both work together can be a taboo, I don't know what it's like in your office but I have worked in places that condone office relationships.

amanda · Dec 17th, 2007, 02:23 AM

i wouldn't expect him to be making any moves at this point AT ALL. what you guys did was not clearly defined as a date, so it would be awkward and inappropriate on his part to be trying something physical, particularly since a movie isn't exactly someplace that chemistry really comes in to play. IMO, offering to buy you a drink is a smart choice on his part to give you guys and opportunity to interact in a purely social setting to see him things go as sort of a trial date. best thing he could have done, IMO.

BlueGenes · Dec 17th, 2007, 04:05 AM

to be honest, it sounds like you guys have kept it very friendly for awhile and it really feels like your trip to the movies was just a friends thing. if he is interested in you, he might just be feeling things out to see how you feel, and also just to get to know you better (outside of a work environment). i would take it slow and not react too much to things just yet. it's only been a month, and as you said, you were kind of his boss... that can get awkward.

straw227 · Dec 17th, 2007, 05:39 AM

u should let him buy the tix next time and you buy him a drink.. hahaha..
but i think just one movie date is too hard to determine if he didnt make any moves. because its just TOO SHORT of time!!!

angelah · Dec 17th, 2007, 05:57 AM

Isn't that what guys normally say "let me buy you a drink"? He's probably not into you as you are into him anyway.

cityivy · Dec 17th, 2007, 02:46 PM

wow! thanks for all the replies! this place is great! so just to clarify, i am no longer his boss and we are not working together anymore. if we didn't make plans to see each other, i'd probably never run into him again. the truth is, i am his resident and he was my medical student (yes, it's a little grey's anatomy-ish). anyway, i guess i should wait for him to come back from his trip and see if he calls me? i certainly am hesitant to call him at this point b/c 1. i was the one that initiated the whole movie thing in the first place. and 2. i was the one who paid. i don't want to turn him off by being so much of an aggressor (especially if he's not interested). i hope he calls tho! and i really hope that he was serious about getting together for drinks :)

LissiSays · Dec 17th, 2007, 04:21 PM

CityIvy, I agree and think you should just wait for him to return from his vacation. The ball is in his court now. If he doesn't call you then leave it at that. If he calls then just take every day as it comes. Try not to over analyze his every action because you are going to drive yourself insane. Trust me when I say that. Guys are like a complicated manual, with no pictures, a million steps and written in another language. Nothing makes sense at first. LOL! Be patient and it will work out if it was meant to be.

Wow, I seriously need to learn to take my own advice. LOL!

jellybebe · Dec 17th, 2007, 04:26 PM

Guys are not confusing. That's what confuses us women. They are extremely straightforward people. If a guy likes a woman, he will do whatever it takes to pursue her. It sounds like he is interested in you as a friend for now.

BlueGenes · Dec 17th, 2007, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cityivy

wow! thanks for all the replies! this place is great! so just to clarify, i am no longer his boss and we are not working together anymore. if we didn't make plans to see each other, i'd probably never run into him again. the truth is, i am his resident and he was my medical student (yes, it's a little grey's anatomy-ish). anyway, i guess i should wait for him to come back from his trip and see if he calls me? i certainly am hesitant to call him at this point b/c 1. i was the one that initiated the whole movie thing in the first place. and 2. i was the one who paid. i don't want to turn him off by being so much of an aggressor (especially if he's not interested). i hope he calls tho! and i really hope that he was serious about getting together for drinks :)

i would keep it low key... are you sure that your invitation + payment to the movies was not construed by him as a "oh, let me take care of this little medical student, i'll be his big sis" attitude? it's a funny hierarchy, residents with medical students. are you involved in any way with his rotation grade?

i think, if you are really interested in him, you need to let him know clearly at some point (without asking him out). but i also don't think that point is right now... if he's interested in being friends for awhile and getting to know you, then that's great. but at some point, he'll have to make the decision to ask you out.

just my 2 cents :).

karman · Dec 17th, 2007, 09:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jellybebe

Guys are not confusing. That's what confuses us women. They are extremely straightforward people. If a guy likes a woman, he will do whatever it takes to pursue her. It sounds like he is interested in you as a friend for now.

I agree with this statement

We girls overthink everything (or a lot of stuff, at least).

Like some others have said, wait until he comes back from vacation, and try to spend more time with him. If you like him a lot and feel comfortable around him, be proactive and make the first move. Don't wait for him to do it. If I had waited for my boyfriend to make a move...I would still be single right now! LOL

cityivy · Dec 17th, 2007, 10:06 PM

throughout the month, i had no idea that i would be grading him. then the last day, he asked me to fill out an eval for him, which i did and handed in even before we went out. he was an excellent student and knew that i was going to give him a good eval anyway. so i don't think that was an issue. as for acting like his 'big sis'...i'm pretty sure i didn't give off that vibe. it's really hard for me to 'tell a guy that i like him'. i usually do it with my witty banter, but i don't really know how to make 'moves' either.

Speedy · Dec 17th, 2007, 11:58 PM

Sounds like to me that yes, he's thinking right now it's just hanging out between friends. My advice is to go out with him for the drinks, enjoy yourself and just sit back and see what happens.

Have a good time!

Dec 16th, 2007, 06:35 PM	#1
cityivy Member	why are boys so confusing? for the past month, i worked with this boy who was really nice and cute. the problem is, i was sorta his boss for the month. we were always professional, but got to know each other as friends during the month. we had a lot of fun teasing each other and such. when the month ended, i sorta asked him out to a movie. we had talked about wanting to see a few of the movies that are out now, so i emailed him in a very casual way. so we ended up going to see the movie and it was fun (at least i had fun). but he didn't attempt to make any moves. before we parted ways at the end of the night, he said something to the effect of, "how about you let me buy you a drink when i get back (he's going out of the country for two weeks for his vacation)?" naturally, i said yes. i sorta feel the good vibe from him, but i do have a few concerns: 1. did he agree to go to the movie b/c he thought it was a movie between friends? 2. since i got to the theatre first and bought the tickets, did he offer to buy me a drink just to be friendly and repay me? 3. if he's interested, why didn't he attempt to make any moves? what do you all think?

Dec 16th, 2007, 08:30 PM	#2
balihai88 26.2 Location: At the beach!	Re: why are boys so confusing? I don't think he'd ask you out for a drink if he wasn't interested in spending more time with you. He may be hesitant to make a move because you are still getting to know each other, and because you work together....? __________________

Dec 17th, 2007, 02:07 AM	#4
chipmunk-pnw ^.^ Location: USA	Re: why are boys so confusing? You're his boss or at least his supervisor so he probably is feeling a little awkward, at least his trip will be time away to think about how to make his moves. Not all men are as spontaneous as you are, many are shy, so you gotta give them some time. 1. It's just a movie. Not some romantic candle-lit dinner or moonlight walk on the beach! Probably went because you asked him to :) 2. Not necessarily, but he could have wanted to repay you. 3. Not so fast, missy! Some guys like to play it slow. It's the chase that thrills them. He's probably a decent guy that doesn't jump on you the moment he has his chance. He probably needs some time to know if you're just wanting a fling or a relationship. Plus the fact you both work together can be a taboo, I don't know what it's like in your office but I have worked in places that condone office relationships.

Dec 17th, 2007, 02:23 AM	#5
amanda I Bleed Georgia Red Location: Athens, GA	Re: why are boys so confusing? i wouldn't expect him to be making any moves at this point AT ALL. what you guys did was not clearly defined as a date, so it would be awkward and inappropriate on his part to be trying something physical, particularly since a movie isn't exactly someplace that chemistry really comes in to play. IMO, offering to buy you a drink is a smart choice on his part to give you guys and opportunity to interact in a purely social setting to see him things go as sort of a trial date. best thing he could have done, IMO. __________________ PROUD TO BE A UNIVERSITY OF GEORGIA BULLDOG! Read my blog: http://graduationday.wordpress.com

Dec 17th, 2007, 04:05 AM	#6
BlueGenes Member	Re: why are boys so confusing? to be honest, it sounds like you guys have kept it very friendly for awhile and it really feels like your trip to the movies was just a friends thing. if he is interested in you, he might just be feeling things out to see how you feel, and also just to get to know you better (outside of a work environment). i would take it slow and not react too much to things just yet. it's only been a month, and as you said, you were kind of his boss... that can get awkward.

Dec 16th, 2007, 10:53 PM	#3
Jill	Re: why are boys so confusing? Moving to relationships forum..........................

Dec 17th, 2007, 05:39 AM	#7
straw227 Member Location: Canada	Re: why are boys so confusing? u should let him buy the tix next time and you buy him a drink.. hahaha.. but i think just one movie date is too hard to determine if he didnt make any moves. because its just TOO SHORT of time!!!

Dec 17th, 2007, 05:57 AM	#8
angelah Member Location: portland, or	Re: why are boys so confusing? Isn't that what guys normally say "let me buy you a drink"? He's probably not into you as you are into him anyway.

Dec 17th, 2007, 02:46 PM	#9
cityivy Member	Re: why are boys so confusing? wow! thanks for all the replies! this place is great! so just to clarify, i am no longer his boss and we are not working together anymore. if we didn't make plans to see each other, i'd probably never run into him again. the truth is, i am his resident and he was my medical student (yes, it's a little grey's anatomy-ish). anyway, i guess i should wait for him to come back from his trip and see if he calls me? i certainly am hesitant to call him at this point b/c 1. i was the one that initiated the whole movie thing in the first place. and 2. i was the one who paid. i don't want to turn him off by being so much of an aggressor (especially if he's not interested). i hope he calls tho! and i really hope that he was serious about getting together for drinks :)

Dec 17th, 2007, 04:21 PM	#10
LissiSays I <3 Coach =Þ Location: Miami, Florida	Re: why are boys so confusing? CityIvy, I agree and think you should just wait for him to return from his vacation. The ball is in his court now. If he doesn't call you then leave it at that. If he calls then just take every day as it comes. Try not to over analyze his every action because you are going to drive yourself insane. Trust me when I say that. Guys are like a complicated manual, with no pictures, a million steps and written in another language. Nothing makes sense at first. LOL! Be patient and it will work out if it was meant to be. Wow, I seriously need to learn to take my own advice. LOL! __________________ *LiSSi* Don't play games with a girl who can play better!

Dec 17th, 2007, 04:26 PM	#11
jellybebe Back to school! Location: Canada	Re: why are boys so confusing? Guys are not confusing. That's what confuses us women. They are extremely straightforward people. If a guy likes a woman, he will do whatever it takes to pursue her. It sounds like he is interested in you as a friend for now. __________________ Wish List: LV Farandole bracelet (WL) LV pink scuba pochette (WL) white Balenciaga City with GGH (?) Prada E/W Gauffre

Dec 17th, 2007, 10:06 PM	#14
cityivy Member	Re: why are boys so confusing? throughout the month, i had no idea that i would be grading him. then the last day, he asked me to fill out an eval for him, which i did and handed in even before we went out. he was an excellent student and knew that i was going to give him a good eval anyway. so i don't think that was an issue. as for acting like his 'big sis'...i'm pretty sure i didn't give off that vibe. it's really hard for me to 'tell a guy that i like him'. i usually do it with my witty banter, but i don't really know how to make 'moves' either.

Dec 17th, 2007, 11:58 PM	#15
Speedy Sofa King Banned Location: N. California	Re: why are boys so confusing? Sounds like to me that yes, he's thinking right now it's just hanging out between friends. My advice is to go out with him for the drinks, enjoy yourself and just sit back and see what happens. Have a good time!