[mundodabolsa]

this is going to be hard to articulate without sounding mean, so please don't think I'm trying to attack you or anything.

I think people who are even considering how far they can go without actually having sex need to think really hard about the real reasons they are waiting to have sex in the first place. I feel like if you have a really strong moral reason to wait until marriage, then where the line is should be pretty clear to you. But if you're sort of trying to see what you can and can't get away with while still being considered a "virgin," then you're probably holding onto your virginity because it's what you're "supposed" to do or what you feel like you have to do to please your parents, not because you feel strongly that it's important.

[abbygirl]

The line should be drawn from the end of the street to your door. a kiss on the cheek and bu-bye. Otherwise, there is any point to drawing a line because Oral sex is SEX. Touching your boob is foreplay to sex. His hands all over your body while your making out is again foreplay. What man can stop there? And actually it isn't fair to him. He has no where to put it until it welll.....shrinks.

[GirlFriday]

Originally Posted by mundodabolsa

this is going to be hard to articulate without sounding mean, so please don't think I'm trying to attack you or anything.

I think people who are even considering how far they can go without actually having sex need to think really hard about the real reasons they are waiting to have sex in the first place. I feel like if you have a really strong moral reason to wait until marriage, then where the line is should be pretty clear to you. But if you're sort of trying to see what you can and can't get away with while still being considered a "virgin," then you're probably holding onto your virginity because it's what you're "supposed" to do or what you feel like you have to do to please your parents, not because you feel strongly that it's important.

I think that someone can have a clear mind about where they don't want to go, but hormones and temptation can get the better of them. That's why it's good to not get started at all on certain things. Most people that decide to remain virgins (past a certain age) are not doing it for their parents, they're doing it for themselves. But even if you decide if for yourself, it's still hard to keep it under control.

[Megs]

Originally Posted by mundodabolsa

this is going to be hard to articulate without sounding mean, so please don't think I'm trying to attack you or anything.

I think people who are even considering how far they can go without actually having sex need to think really hard about the real reasons they are waiting to have sex in the first place. I feel like if you have a really strong moral reason to wait until marriage, then where the line is should be pretty clear to you. But if you're sort of trying to see what you can and can't get away with while still being considered a "virgin," then you're probably holding onto your virginity because it's what you're "supposed" to do or what you feel like you have to do to please your parents, not because you feel strongly that it's important.

I think this is a really good post.

I think that for some people waiting until marriage is very important, which is great for them. But it is hard. It is easy to say that you will wait when you are 13-14. Once hormones kick in, the male's hormones kick in, intimate moments kick in, you will have to be really careful it does not go too far too fast.

You need to draw a line. Whatever that line is. If it is nothing other than kissing and touching before marriage, then you have to stop at that. Once clothes start coming off, lights are off, you are in bed... well, you are probably asking for hormonal passionate trouble.

[oo0ehxtahcee0oo]

Originally Posted by mundodabolsa

this is going to be hard to articulate without sounding mean, so please don't think I'm trying to attack you or anything.

I think people who are even considering how far they can go without actually having sex need to think really hard about the real reasons they are waiting to have sex in the first place. I feel like if you have a really strong moral reason to wait until marriage, then where the line is should be pretty clear to you. But if you're sort of trying to see what you can and can't get away with while still being considered a "virgin," then you're probably holding onto your virginity because it's what you're "supposed" to do or what you feel like you have to do to please your parents, not because you feel strongly that it's important.

I agree completely. If someone's holding out for moral (or religious) reasons then the line should be clear. However, it's hard in the heat of the moment. Aren't I glad I didn't chose to wait. Haha. Like another poster said, you need a test drive before you get married. What if you get stuck, and it sucks?? Haha. I know my first sucked. Haha. I'd hate to be stuck with him through marriage!!

[thelace]

Originally Posted by illinirdhd

Honestly, I've never understood people who say they're saving themselves or waiting for marriage, but then do everything EXCEPT have intercourse. I suppose if you're having oral sex and touching each other, you're still a virgin, but if you're giving everything else up, what's the point in holding off on that one thing? If you're going to let a man touch you with his hands and mouth, then why not just have sex? Isn't oral sex more intimate than vaginal sex? It's rare, but you CAN get pregnant without having actual intercourse, and you can certainly get an STD, so what's the point? At least when you're having sex, you'll probably use a condom. I'm guessing most people don't use condoms/dental dams for oral sex and touching.

If I were waiting for marriage (which I didn't), I would draw the line at kissing. IMO, if you're saving yourself, then save your entire self.

It's the Bill Clinton thing

And Missy, on May 30th you said (in the Health and Safety Forum):

Originally Posted by MissyBaby

OK...here's the dealio.

My BF and I have been planning a romantic picnic for the last couple of months and this weekend is the only time within the next few weeks we can do it. You know what I mean when I say "romantic" right?

Here's my problem....I started my period Wednesday night.../snip

You later said in that thread:

Originally Posted by MissyBaby
To clear up the issue....

We aren't having intercourse. We're just....touching (TMI).....to be completely honest. And as for the point of this thread....it's totally embarrassing when you feel his hand going in that direction and your like "NOOO!!! There's something happening down there you don't wanna know about!" I just got back from a date with him tonight and that was a discussion that we had....we both wanted to, extremely badly... but decided to wait...


No I'm not embarrassed. I never specified in this thread that we weren't actually doing the deed. So it's no big deal.

No wonder you confuse people

[oo0ehxtahcee0oo]

Originally Posted by thelace

It's the Bill Clinton thing

And Missy, on May 30th you said (in the Health and Safety Forum):

You later said in that thread:


No wonder you confuse people

EXACTLY. That is why I am ALWAYS confused. Thanks thelace!!

[imashopaholic]

Well if the experts are confused I'm not gonna be any help at all. Good luck Missy.

[QueenOfDa702]

Originally Posted by thelace

It's the Bill Clinton thing

And Missy, on May 30th you said (in the Health and Safety Forum):

You later said in that thread:


No wonder you confuse people

Yup!

A LOT of people in that other thread said "If this is your first time...." in which, you replied to them, but said NOTHING about it NOT being your first time.

[nataliam1976]

Originally Posted by QueenOfDa702

Yup!

A LOT of people in that other thread said "If this is your first time...." in which, you replied to them, but said NOTHING about it NOT being your first time.

Puh- lease she mentioned she considered going on the pill. you dont need pill if all that happens is his hand going there !

[dallas]

In my opinion, Missy likes to play games and this thread is one of them. She doesn't want advice, she wants attention.

[guccimamma]

gosh, my mind can't think back that far...are we talking virginity???

that was a wavering line for me at best.

[merika]

Originally Posted by guccimamma

gosh, my mind can't think back that far...are we talking virginity???

that was a wavering line for me at best.

[lolitakali]

Originally Posted by mellecyn

I think what Missy is saying is her and her BF have done stuff without going all the way...which is pretty common when you´re a teen.
So techinically it´s still being a "virgin".
But anyways, I agree with Amber11, once you´ve started it´s really hard to not let it escalate, the temptation becomes too strong, it´s easier to not start any of it !
Only you and BF can talk and decide what´s best for you 2, according to your wishes and beliefs.

Agree!!!

You may have the control to rein back from actual intercourse... but what about your partner??? Sometimes it is also unfair that you "let" him go that far & expect him to better control (which is very difficult for the MALES) & not go all the way!!!

If you both had "played" that far, rape may also be a possibility (may not be fair to the man side as you did "seduce" him to that point).

Easier to not start any of it for sure! Prevention is way better than having to find a "cure". Why "look" for problems?

[merika]

"Where do you draw the line?" is a pretty good question. Even tha naswers in this thread are somewhat confusing. Kiss. Don't kiss. Touch only. If so how much? You can stop whenever you want. Then it's unfair to the guy.

First of all why do you want to be a virgin, and what do you consider as being a virgin? Is it just keeping your hymen intact? I've known people for whom just having their hymen intact was the important thing according to their culture/religion and they engaged in every other form of sex possible including oral and anal sex.

I would simply go with doing whatever you are comfortable with and stopping there. If he insists on doing something you are not comfortable with, it will tell you a lot about his character. Good luck!