[IntlSet]

Just curious how you ladies do things.

I recently employed the "so what" tactic on a good friend and it did not go over well. She was making fun of a girl we both know because she wears the same sweater with pom-poms sewn on it all the time. My response was, "So what," as in, it really doesn't affect us, who the hell cares, what's the point of making fun of this girl? Upon my friend's stunned face, I will just let her snark on from here on out. If she thinks its fun and wants to be super b*tchy, I guess who cares, right? It's not my job to make her a better human being or anything, especially since I'm far from perfect myself.

What do you ladies do?

[merika]

Sometimes snark becomes a pain in the butt for those who have to listen to it. If I had a friend like that, I might. I actually did have a relative who did that and my mom did the exact same thing - she said "So what?"

[IntlSet]

^^^
Merika, it was my FATHER who taught me about "so what." I swear it has changed my life. It really makes you pause and think, "Geez, this is not a big deal, moving along now."

But yes, I do find endless snarking kind of a pain in the butt. I think for women, being b*tchy about other people to one another is a form of bonding. Urgh.

[azhangie]

That sounds like me a few years ago...until i realised i was just jealous of the plp i was making fun of.

[Sternchen]

I can be pretty snarky sometimes, but not the way that your friend is. I do call people out on it sometimes.

[bagnshoofetish]

I do call people out friends or not if I feel they are being mean. I just flat out say, "wow, that was (rude/not very nice/uncalled for, etc)." I'm the kind of person who would rather nip things in the bud rather than let resentment build up.

[Veelyn]

Originally Posted by azhangie

That sounds like me a few years ago...until i realised i was just jealous of the plp i was making fun of.

ITA.

What is the point of talking about others? If I dont have anything nice to say I dont say it.. anymore..

[Frances Bean]

I have a friend who always made comments about overweight people when we went out. Like, "OMG like at big he/she is!" Like she's never seen someone who's fat before. I can't remember what I said once, but she felt kind of embarassed and hasn't made like comments since.

[Mahina]

I'll usually respond with a trademark sarcastic remark like, "That's very interesting...hmmm."

[lv-lover]

I usually let it slide. Most of my friends are very snarky, and if I called them on it all the time, I would get pretty fed up. To be honest, I mentally thank them for what I want to say, but don't.

[IntlSet]

^^^
I agree. My friends are also snarky individuals and if I were to call out everything mean they ever say, it'd make for very dull times indeed.

[merika]

Originally Posted by IntlSet

^^^
Merika, it was my FATHER who taught me about "so what." I swear it has changed my life. It really makes you pause and think, "Geez, this is not a big deal, moving along now."

But yes, I do find endless snarking kind of a pain in the butt. I think for women, being b*tchy about other people to one another is a form of bonding. Urgh.

I think younger people have more of a tendency to be snarky (well, MOST of the time) and as you grow older you tend to realize what's important and what is not. Your father taught you a wise lesson.

It's funny you talk about women bonding by being b*tchy. It is true, and it's something my mother really discouraged. Sometimes I'd have friends over and if my mom heard us do that she'd say something really gently later on that made me realize I was doing something that was not polite. As a result most of the women who became my friends in my teen years and later are immensely nonjudgmental and kind. I think I should thank my mother for influencing my friendships.

[dusty paws]

Honestly... it depends. I used to take it all the time - even when it was about me. Then I learned to fight back - especially if it was someone I cared about, KWIM?

I do like the so what attitude though.

[shoefan]

Originally Posted by IntlSet

Just curious how you ladies do things.

I recently employed the "so what" tactic on a good friend and it did not go over well. She was making fun of a girl we both know because she wears the same sweater with pom-poms sewn on it all the time. My response was, "So what," as in, it really doesn't affect us, who the hell cares, what's the point of making fun of this girl? Upon my friend's stunned face, I will just let her snark on from here on out. If she thinks its fun and wants to be super b*tchy, I guess who cares, right? It's not my job to make her a better human being or anything, especially since I'm far from perfect myself.

What do you ladies do?

Stuff like this has always made me wonder what my "friend" may be saying about me behind my back.

[BagAngel]

My daughter has been the butt of snarky remarks recently at university! These hurt & I would love to kick these people to touch but she knows well what I taught her & practises it, these people are envious & beneath your notice, do not stoop to their level!