when you live with your bestfriend....

heiress28 · Jun 26th, 2008, 01:06 PM

Hey ladies....

So I recently decided to start a new life and move to Florida with my boyfriend. We were down here for a month by ourselves in an apartment when I decided I needed to go back to NY and NJ and get the rest of my belongings from my brother's storage. When I drove up there, I obviously met with my best friend and spent some time with her and surprisingly her mother called me one day on that trip and begged me to take her with me so she can move and start fresh because she was just on a bad path. I agreed because she is like a sister to me and I wanted to help.

This is where everything goes wrong.

After a week vacation, she decided she loved it here and wanted to move down here. I was fine with that. Next thing I know, she's bringing her "boyfriend" of a month to live with her, all they do is do drugs all day and all night, blast music all day and all night, wake up at 5 in the evening everyday, go to bed at 6 in the morning, always doing something sexual in public. It just gets annoying and I don't think I need to feel that uncomfortable in my own house.

And after all that disrespect, the funny thing is, if I ask her to drive me down the street for something important, she'll ask me for 20 dollars to put in her gas tank, but she forgot I took her in for no money, fed her, she took hour showers for me to pay for them on the water bill and i NEVER NEVER asked her for a cent! (nor did she offer) I think she might have given me 5 dollars that whole week and then accused me of spending all of her money on gas.... I was like, what are you talking about, you gave me FIVE dollars????????!!!! This coming from a girl who's family has millions and millions of dollars. Let's just say they own a handful of great companies.

So, to wrap it up I'm just tired of the disrespect and it kills me because we were always like sisters and I don't even feel that way towards her anymore. I'm disgusted because of how she acts after the drugs and it bothers me so much because I don't do it but my house smells like it and I'm embarrassed when I go in public with them because of all the crazy sexual behavior they can't contain. I've already tried talking to her about it.....she agreeed and wouldn't do it for a while. Then they would be right back at it.

Does anyone else have any suggestions to save this relationship? What would you do if you were in my situation?

P.S. Sorry about the really long post...I just needed to let all of that out!

artjen · Jun 26th, 2008, 01:09 PM

Does she live with you? If so, I would give her a timeline of finding her own place to live. You can limit contact with her after that, if necessary.

heiress28 · Jun 26th, 2008, 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by artjen

Does she live with you? If so, I would give her a timeline of finding her own place to live. You can limit contact with her after that, if necessary.

No...The two of us are on the lease because I didn't want full responsibility since she was coming to live with us.

artich0ke · Jun 26th, 2008, 01:11 PM

I agree with artjen... especially if she's living under your roof rent-free.

Whoops -- you posted right when I posted that.

Can you remove her from the lease and put your boyfriend's name instead? Is she paying rent? If she's not, she legally has to since she is on the lease. You can get her in trouble for not paying any money.

heiress28 · Jun 26th, 2008, 01:15 PM

To make the situation even better (i failed to mention her working arrangements)... Her and her "boyfriend" were in Walmart one day when a scammer came up to them telling them how they could make 4,000 dollars a week, doing nothing.....no experience needed, no high school degree needed, etc...and THEY FELL FOR IT!!!!!!!!! Now they are convinced they are going to make that money...the funny thing is ... they are paying that company in order to be employed...so they aren't getting a paycheck and are giving money to the company to employ them......I keep telling them it's a scam but they are convinced it's not.... now, the thing here is ... who's paying for rent? because I'm not paying for everyone. I already let her know that, but no matter what she is always raving about that job.

heiress28 · Jun 26th, 2008, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by artich0ke

I agree with artjen... especially if she's living under your roof rent-free.

Whoops -- you posted right when I posted that.

Can you remove her from the lease and put your boyfriend's name instead? Is she paying rent? If she's not, she legally has to since she is on the lease. You can get her in trouble for not paying any money.

How would I be able to do that? Because if they don't have the money for rent because of this whole job game...I will do that. I'm not going to jeopardize myself like that. She is on the lease and is expected to pay.

artich0ke · Jun 26th, 2008, 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by heiress28

How would I be able to do that? Because if they don't have the money for rent because of this whole job game...I will do that. I'm not going to jeopardize myself like that. She is on the lease and is expected to pay.

Would you want to be paying equal amounts in rent? Say you each needed to pay half each month, you tell her she needs to pay half because you're not covering for her and you give your half to the landlord. (Make sure he knows that you and your roommate have an agreement.) The landlord then tells her to shape up or ship out -- and if she doesn't pay the rent, she gets evicted.

I'm sure that would be a tough thing to do, but you're in a tough spot right now. If you're spending your hard-earned money on her rent while she does all of the things you say she's doing, then she needs a rude awakening. She needs to know that you're not going to babysit her anymore -- you're both grown women and she needs to get her act together.

illinirdhd · Jun 26th, 2008, 02:21 PM

Tough situation - I don't know. Call the police and tell them someone is using drugs in your house?

lovinalotofbags · Jun 26th, 2008, 03:17 PM

Is your BF still living there? Why did you put her on the lease? Go to the office and ask their advice about getting her out even though she is on the lease, mention the drug use only if you have to.

heiress28 · Jun 26th, 2008, 03:55 PM

I know they are good for this month but when next month rolls around..... I'm definitely taking action. Thanks ladies.

Zophie · Jun 26th, 2008, 04:22 PM

I'd definitely try to get her and her bf to find their own place. I have some good friends that I'd probably end up killing if we lived together.

cosmogrl5 · Jun 26th, 2008, 09:55 PM

Good Lord- if this is how your BFF treats you, I'd hate to see what your enemies do!

Each month when the rent is due, write out a check for your half only and bring it to your landlord/property manager. Let he or she know that you pay separately from your friend. If they don't get their money, they will hunt her down. Trust me. My best friend and I had an apartment together and just brought our rent checks to the rental office separately just because. One time, they lost my check and threatend to evict just me even though she paid her half! As soon as I pulled up my bank statement to show them that they cashed the check, it was all good, of course.

Good luck!

paintednightsky · Jun 26th, 2008, 10:11 PM

Good luck! Hopefully you take a stand for yourself when next month rolls around and she has no money. I know her mother said she wanted her daughter to have a "fresh start," but her behavior is FAR from it!!!

amber11 · Jun 27th, 2008, 02:20 AM

i'd talk to your landlord and work out the rent like everyone else is saying on here- bottom line is that this is obviously a terrible situation your in and i'm sorry your in it, and from a legal standpoint you don't want to put yourself around drugs where you could ever be blamed for something (she sounds like that kind of friend to be honest), i hope you can figure something out... good luck!!

Couture Dreams · Jun 27th, 2008, 04:20 AM

wow thats a strange situation. honestly just talk to her about it and ask her to get her act together, or you are just going to have to get another roommate. nothing is better than communication.

Jun 26th, 2008, 01:06 PM	#1
heiress28 Member Location: From NY to FL, USA	when you live with your bestfriend.... Hey ladies.... So I recently decided to start a new life and move to Florida with my boyfriend. We were down here for a month by ourselves in an apartment when I decided I needed to go back to NY and NJ and get the rest of my belongings from my brother's storage. When I drove up there, I obviously met with my best friend and spent some time with her and surprisingly her mother called me one day on that trip and begged me to take her with me so she can move and start fresh because she was just on a bad path. I agreed because she is like a sister to me and I wanted to help. This is where everything goes wrong. After a week vacation, she decided she loved it here and wanted to move down here. I was fine with that. Next thing I know, she's bringing her "boyfriend" of a month to live with her, all they do is do drugs all day and all night, blast music all day and all night, wake up at 5 in the evening everyday, go to bed at 6 in the morning, always doing something sexual in public. It just gets annoying and I don't think I need to feel that uncomfortable in my own house. And after all that disrespect, the funny thing is, if I ask her to drive me down the street for something important, she'll ask me for 20 dollars to put in her gas tank, but she forgot I took her in for no money, fed her, she took hour showers for me to pay for them on the water bill and i NEVER NEVER asked her for a cent! (nor did she offer) I think she might have given me 5 dollars that whole week and then accused me of spending all of her money on gas.... I was like, what are you talking about, you gave me FIVE dollars????????!!!! This coming from a girl who's family has millions and millions of dollars. Let's just say they own a handful of great companies. So, to wrap it up I'm just tired of the disrespect and it kills me because we were always like sisters and I don't even feel that way towards her anymore. I'm disgusted because of how she acts after the drugs and it bothers me so much because I don't do it but my house smells like it and I'm embarrassed when I go in public with them because of all the crazy sexual behavior they can't contain. I've already tried talking to her about it.....she agreeed and wouldn't do it for a while. Then they would be right back at it. Does anyone else have any suggestions to save this relationship? What would you do if you were in my situation? P.S. Sorry about the really long post...I just needed to let all of that out! __________________ My first baby

Jun 26th, 2008, 01:11 PM	#4
artich0ke Member Location: down the Cape	I agree with artjen... especially if she's living under your roof rent-free. Whoops -- you posted right when I posted that. Can you remove her from the lease and put your boyfriend's name instead? Is she paying rent? If she's not, she legally has to since she is on the lease. You can get her in trouble for not paying any money. __________________ artich0ke

Jun 26th, 2008, 01:15 PM	#5
heiress28 Member Location: From NY to FL, USA	To make the situation even better (i failed to mention her working arrangements)... Her and her "boyfriend" were in Walmart one day when a scammer came up to them telling them how they could make 4,000 dollars a week, doing nothing.....no experience needed, no high school degree needed, etc...and THEY FELL FOR IT!!!!!!!!! Now they are convinced they are going to make that money...the funny thing is ... they are paying that company in order to be employed...so they aren't getting a paycheck and are giving money to the company to employ them......I keep telling them it's a scam but they are convinced it's not.... now, the thing here is ... who's paying for rent? because I'm not paying for everyone. I already let her know that, but no matter what she is always raving about that job. __________________ My first baby

Jun 26th, 2008, 02:21 PM	#8
illinirdhd Sofa King Hooked Location: Las Vegas, NV	Tough situation - I don't know. Call the police and tell them someone is using drugs in your house? __________________

Jun 26th, 2008, 03:17 PM	#9
lovinalotofbags Fashion disaster Location: Carolinas	Is your BF still living there? Why did you put her on the lease? Go to the office and ask their advice about getting her out even though she is on the lease, mention the drug use only if you have to. __________________ Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.

Jun 26th, 2008, 01:09 PM	#2
artjen Young @ Art Location: Arizona	Does she live with you? If so, I would give her a timeline of finding her own place to live. You can limit contact with her after that, if necessary.

Jun 26th, 2008, 03:55 PM	#10
heiress28 Member Location: From NY to FL, USA	I know they are good for this month but when next month rolls around..... I'm definitely taking action. Thanks ladies. __________________ My first baby

Jun 26th, 2008, 04:22 PM	#11
Zophie I <3 my Maltese! Location: New Orleans, LA	I'd definitely try to get her and her bf to find their own place. I have some good friends that I'd probably end up killing if we lived together. __________________

Jun 26th, 2008, 09:55 PM	#12
cosmogrl5 Member	Good Lord- if this is how your BFF treats you, I'd hate to see what your enemies do! Each month when the rent is due, write out a check for your half only and bring it to your landlord/property manager. Let he or she know that you pay separately from your friend. If they don't get their money, they will hunt her down. Trust me. My best friend and I had an apartment together and just brought our rent checks to the rental office separately just because. One time, they lost my check and threatend to evict just me even though she paid her half! As soon as I pulled up my bank statement to show them that they cashed the check, it was all good, of course. Good luck! __________________

Jun 26th, 2008, 10:11 PM	#13
paintednightsky Member	Good luck! Hopefully you take a stand for yourself when next month rolls around and she has no money. I know her mother said she wanted her daughter to have a "fresh start," but her behavior is FAR from it!!! __________________ Waiting For Tano Grape Minilisa Wishlist RM BBW or Violet, Kooba Smooth Black Sienna, Ignes Chiara/Ormala My Bag Collection http://forum.purseblog.com/your-bag-...on-293432.html

Jun 27th, 2008, 02:20 AM	#14
amber11 Member	i'd talk to your landlord and work out the rent like everyone else is saying on here- bottom line is that this is obviously a terrible situation your in and i'm sorry your in it, and from a legal standpoint you don't want to put yourself around drugs where you could ever be blamed for something (she sounds like that kind of friend to be honest), i hope you can figure something out... good luck!!

Jun 27th, 2008, 04:20 AM	#15
Couture Dreams spidey kisses Location: Lovely CA	wow thats a strange situation. honestly just talk to her about it and ask her to get her act together, or you are just going to have to get another roommate. nothing is better than communication.