What would you want to know about men?

[nathansgirl1908]

My questions are mainly about cheating...

1.I want to know why men need to cheat. Why not just continue to play the field instead of pretending to settle down with one woman, only to later cheat on her?

2.Also, I would like to know why men claim they can love their wives and cheat on them?

[Liz_x3]

Another question... and btw, may I say that Libertine you are amazing!


How do guys feel about the girls that proudly show off the fact that they get into physical fights, get drunk, smoke, drugs, engage in slutty behavior, etc. all in the name of being "hardcore, wild, and living fast" ?

I just notice an abundance of those types at my school... mostly the freshman. Just curious how guys really feel about this.

I guess my main question is what do guys REALLY like in a girl?

[kaye]

1) do guys prefer girls with more sexual experience or less?

2) are guys intimidated by women who are smarter or have more knowledge of everyday things?

3) what do the adjectives "cute", "pretty", "hot", and "sexy" really mean to them?

[Libertine]

Originally Posted by ChanelGirlE

why when a relationship ended badly.... he initially wanted you back, then decided since he couldn't have you--- wanted to be friends, and then changed his mind somewhere and decided to never talk to you again?

He wanted you back, then thought that maybe he could get you back by being a "friend", then realized it wasn't working, got frustrated and gave up.

[Libertine]

Originally Posted by IcansPotaFake32

Why would one guy keep you around for your years but never be your boyfriend? You stop talking to him and he keeps coming back. Why does he keep coming back? What's in it for him? We are talking more than a decade!

I'm afraid I would need a few more details to answer this one. Have you ever crossed the line between friendship and "more"? Do you flirt with each other? Has either of you expressed interest in the other?

[Libertine]

Originally Posted by nathansgirl1908

My questions are mainly about cheating... 1.I want to know why men need to cheat. Why not just continue to play the field instead of pretending to settle down with one woman, only to later cheat on her? 2.Also, I would like to know why men claim they can love their wives and cheat on them?

1. Several reasons. Some men actually do love their partner but cheat because they can't resist temptations, others want both the benefits of long-term relationships and casual flings, and yet others lose interest in their current partner and start seeking love/sex elsewhere.

It's the same as with women who cheat, actually... lots of different reasons.

2. Because it's quite possible to love someone, yet still do something that hurts them. Contrary to what people would like to believe, loving a single person does not automatically eliminate all sexual attraction to all others.

Not cheating requires restraint, as well as the wisdom to avoid situations in which you think your willpower might fail you.

[Libertine]

Originally Posted by Liz_x3

Another question... and btw, may I say that Libertine you are amazing! How do guys feel about the girls that proudly show off the fact that they get into physical fights, get drunk, smoke, drugs, engage in slutty behavior, etc. all in the name of being "hardcore, wild, and living fast" ? I just notice an abundance of those types at my school... mostly the freshman. Just curious how guys really feel about this. I guess my main question is what do guys REALLY like in a girl?

Thanks

As for your question... different guys like different things. Most guys, though, don't like slutty girls for anything but one night stands. And as guys get older and start looking for more serious relationships, the appeal of "wild" girls diminishes even further.

[sportygal85]

I have some more

1) What is so damn scary about girls who are virgins? Why do guys think she will automatically turn into a stalker as a guy puts his thang in her ho-ha.

2) What might turn a guy off when he first sees a girl's facebook profile?

3) Why can't I keep a guy's interest beyond a few weeks? I don't do any of the stuff people warn against. I'm a bit of a committaphobe myself so I don't bring up becoming an "official" couple, refer to myself as his girlfriend or call all the time. I won't blow off plans to hang out with a guy but I don't do stuff like make up fake plans either so I'm often pretty game to hang out if a guy asks-am I too available? I also don't sleep with guys too early but maybe I have the opposite problem. That I'm too inexperienced and I move too slowly sexually. I don't do it to "make" them wait-but I tend to start out not that attracted to someone and become more attracted to them as I get to know them better.

[Libertine]

Originally Posted by kaye

1) do guys prefer girls with more sexual experience or less? 2) are guys intimidated by women who are smarter or have more knowledge of everyday things? 3) what do the adjectives "cute", "pretty", "hot", and "sexy" really mean to them?

1) Most prefer less.

This is going to sound sexist, and perhaps it is, but...

The problem with women who have lots of experience is that it implies that they have low standards. Any woman who wants to can easily find a virtually unlimited number of men willing to have sex with her.

(if you don't believe me, post a fictional profile with a fake picture of a moderately attractive woman on a random free dating site which mentions no-strings-attached sex, and watch the replies roll in. there will be hundreds, if not thousands. try the same with a "male" profile, and you will most likely not receive even a single one)

So the more men a woman has had sex with, the likelier it is that she simply isn't very picky. To men, that gives a strong hint of desperation, and also suggests that the man in question isn't particularly "special".

I realize that these double standards are extremely unfair, but... well, they exist anyway.

On the other hand, there are quite a few men who simply see a lot of experience as an increased likelihood of skill, and who realize that the fact that a woman decides to spend time with a man means she considers him to be special.


2) Some are, some aren't. Almost all men, however, do like it when a woman has a certain amount of admiration for them.

It isn't a problem if a woman is smarter, as long as she can give the man she's with the impression that he's great. We're simple creatures - we like impressing women, much like gorillas who pound their chest and show off their muscles.

If you're smarter than the man you're interested in, he'll know, but he'll most likely simply be proud of his smart partner. Unless you actually go out of your way to make it clear that you consider yourself to be smarter than him, in which case he'll be very proud of his next partner.


3) It completely depends on context.

Generally speaking, though...
Cute = attractive in a girly way, the kind of girl whose giggles you can't resist.
Pretty = very nice to look at, possibly but not necessarily (sexually) attractive, the kind of girl you could look at for hours.
Hot = sexually attractive.
Sexy = same as hot, but in a more refined way.

[IcansPotaFake32]

Originally Posted by Libertine

I'm afraid I would need a few more details to answer this one. Have you ever crossed the line between friendship and "more"? Do you flirt with each other? Has either of you expressed interest in the other?

Yes, line was crossed many years ago then we were mostly friends. We do flirt. We have hooked up recently (because he just moved here) and he had a lot to say and made an effort and then I didn't really hear from him as much. I've cut him off before but he always comes back. I don't really know what the point is for him.

[luxurina]

[Libertine]

Originally Posted by sportygal85

I have some more 1) What is so damn scary about girls who are virgins? Why do guys think she will automatically turn into a stalker as a guy puts his thang in her ho-ha. 2) What might turn a guy off when he first sees a girl's facebook profile? 3) Why can't I keep a guy's interest beyond a few weeks? I don't do any of the stuff people warn against. I'm a bit of a committaphobe myself so I don't bring up becoming an "official" couple, refer to myself as his girlfriend or call all the time. I won't blow off plans to hang out with a guy but I don't do stuff like make up fake plans either so I'm often pretty game to hang out if a guy asks-am I too available? I also don't sleep with guys too early but maybe I have the opposite problem. That I'm too inexperienced and I move too slowly sexually. I don't do it to "make" them wait-but I tend to start out not that attracted to someone and become more attracted to them as I get to know them better.

1) Nothing.

That said, if a woman is a virgin, it probably means she'll want to wait a decent while before having sex. For men who are primarily looking for sex, that's a big red stop sign.

Unfortunately (for virgins), many serious relationships develop after semi-casual sex without the intention of starting an actual relationship.

2) StUdLYcApS, a friends list featuring lots of sleazy guys, pictures that reveal far too much, etc.

A good profile on social networking sites indicates an active social life, makes it clear that the girl in question isn't desperately seeking male attention, and features at least somewhat good taste.

Unless you want to attract these guys. In that case, disregard everything I just mentioned

3) I've never gone out with you, so I have absolutely no idea why guys quickly lose interest in you. Sorry.

[Libertine]

Originally Posted by IcansPotaFake32

Yes, line was crossed many years ago then we were mostly friends. We do flirt. We have hooked up recently (because he just moved here) and he had a lot to say and made an effort and then I didn't really hear from him as much. I've cut him off before but he always comes back. I don't really know what the point is for him.

Several possibilities, two of which are the most likely ones.

The first possibility is that he's seriously interested in you but doesn't know if you want the same thing he wants.

The second possibility is that you're his "fallback option", the woman he calls whenever there isn't anyone else to call.

[Sabine]

Why do men tell people they had sex with you while the didn't? It happened to me 3 times and i'm not promiscuous at all

[Libertine]

Originally Posted by Sabine

Why do men tell people they had sex with you while the didn't? It happened to me 3 times and i'm not promiscuous at all

Image.

Men tend to compete with each other over virtually everything. When a man is extremely unsuccessful in dating, that will lower his "status" among his friends. If he's a loser, he'll invent stories to impress them. If he's extremely dumb in addition to being a loser, he'll invent stories involving women who actually exist and will be found out - ironically furthering his status as a loser.

Keep in mind, though, that probably at least 20% of men have a virtually non-existent love life.