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Libertine · Jan 24th, 2009, 05:14 PM

Originally Posted by Chanel Belle

Thanks, Libertine! That shed some light

So how do we women nudge the guys we like to ask us out without seeming desperate?

Like I said in my previous post - ask the guys you like out yourself.

Normal flirting will work with men who are good at understanding hints, but many of us are exceedingly bad at seeing through subtlety. As long as you're casual about it, you won't come off as desperate.

If a woman seems desperate, that's usually not because she's somewhat forward, but because she exaggerates the flirting or is too serious too quickly.

Libertine · Jan 24th, 2009, 05:17 PM

Originally Posted by couture2387

ok why do ex bf's pursue u, tell you they still love u and want to be with u and then when it comes down to getting back they freak out because they think it'll last "forever"? Um...I'm not sure it'll last a week and he's thinking about "forever"? lol, I've never understood that one.

Ego.

The ex boyfriend in question didn't want you, he wanted to know he could have you.

Libertine · Jan 24th, 2009, 05:27 PM

Originally Posted by JCinwrppingppr

I have a few questions.

1. When a guy likes a girl and KNOWS that the girl likes him, why can't he still ask her out? In such early stages, commitment should not be an issue!! It's not like us women expect a proposal on date #3.

2. Can you explain why some men suddenly get all fatalistic,? Like "I'm not good enough for you, I can't be the man that you want me to be", that kind of stuff? Okay...most girls would not waste her time with a guy that she didn't think was worthy/good enough. If we like a guy, then we like the guy and we like the guy just the way he is!

3. What should a single gal do to get noticed at a party/bar/club?

This thread is so cool, thanks for answering all the questions.

1. Because he's insecure, of course. The problem in this case isn't that he's afraid of commitment, it's that he's afraid of rejection or abandonment. Either that, or he actually does not like the girl, and merely says so to avoid hurting her feelings.

2. Insecurity is, again, the prime suspect. Even if you say you like the guy just the way he is, and tell him so, he doesn't necessarily fully believe it - especially if he's simply insecure about himself. Plus, he might think you'll eventually get bored of him, or will stop being interested once you get to know him better.

On the other hand, it's also a pretty standard way of breaking up with a woman while trying not to hurt her feelings.

3. At bars and clubs, simply looking good, dancing and smiling works. Also, don't spend your time in large groups of women - few men have the courage to walk up to a group of 5 women to strike up a conversation with one of them. Bars and clubs aren't particularly good places to meet people for anything more than one night stands, though.

At parties, simply striking up casual conversations works wonders.

kitad86 · Jan 24th, 2009, 05:30 PM

Originally Posted by krisluvspurses

Why do they throw dirty clothes on the floor when the hamper is 3 feet away??

I lol when I read this, we jst had that discussion last night!!

Libertine · Jan 24th, 2009, 05:30 PM

Originally Posted by Janos614

As far as sending text messages, if I initiate and he writes back each time, is that still being too interested? Or is just the act of sending that many in that time too much whether he writes back or not? I'm trying to figure out the difference between conducting a conversation via text and just bugging him.

If he replies every time, it's probably ok. You want to avoid writing back too quickly, though. And after a while, be the first to break off the conversation, but at the same time let him know you're looking forward to seeing him again.

That way, he'll know you're definitely interested, but that you are also fully aware of the fact that you are, in fact, two separate people with their own lives.

kitad86 · Jan 24th, 2009, 05:57 PM

Libertine: I read your website, I absolutely

it!!

You hit the nail on the head with a lot of them, me and my bf try to discuss everything and after being together for 3yrs, I'll ask him about anything now, and he gave if not the exact answer you did to a lot of things! Were a couple and we'll always have our up's and down's, that is what I believe can only make us learn for the next time. I'll probably have a question soon lol! THANKS FOR THE THREAD!

inkypina · Jan 24th, 2009, 06:00 PM

I can't stop laughing at the "wet towel on the bed" thing LMAO!!

Awesome thread :)

IcansPotaFake32 · Jan 24th, 2009, 06:11 PM

Why would one guy keep you around for your years but never be your boyfriend? You stop talking to him and he keeps coming back. Why does he keep coming back? What's in it for him? We are talking more than a decade!

couture2387 · Jan 24th, 2009, 06:39 PM

Originally Posted by IcansPotaFake32

Why would one guy keep you around for your years but never be your boyfriend? You stop talking to him and he keeps coming back. Why does he keep coming back? What's in it for him? We are talking more than a decade!

That's why I asked my question earlier. Instead in my case its been 8 years.

ChanelGirlE · Jan 24th, 2009, 06:52 PM

why when a relationship ended badly.... he initially wanted you back, then decided since he couldn't have you--- wanted to be friends, and then changed his mind somewhere and decided to never talk to you again?

Janos614 · Jan 24th, 2009, 08:38 PM

Libertine, you are awesome! Thanks for the clarification.

ShimmaPuff · Jan 25th, 2009, 08:53 AM

Originally Posted by Libertine

...II try and explain the male mind to women...

Jeff Foxworthy already did this, years ago.

He said we didn't need to worry and read so many articles about what men are thinking, because what they are thinking is "I want a beer and I want to see something naked."

Libertine · Jan 25th, 2009, 08:57 AM

Originally Posted by ShimmaPuff

Jeff Foxworthy already did this, years ago.

He said we didn't need to worry and read so many articles about what men are thinking, because what they are thinking is "I want a beer and I want to see something naked."

That is just categorically untrue. Sometimes, we want a whiskey and to see something blow up

ShimmaPuff · Jan 25th, 2009, 09:04 AM

Originally Posted by Libertine

That is just categorically untrue. Sometimes, we want a whiskey and to see something blow up

ahA! My suspicions are confirmed! Jeff lied!

Thank you!

EMMY · Jan 25th, 2009, 10:23 AM

I just went to your website....I was very entertained..I hope it takes off for you..I absolutely love this thread!!!

Jan 24th, 2009, 05:57 PM	#96
kitad86 Sakura Joined: Jan 2009 Location: GA Posts: 310	Libertine: I read your website, I absolutely it!! You hit the nail on the head with a lot of them, me and my bf try to discuss everything and after being together for 3yrs, I'll ask him about anything now, and he gave if not the exact answer you did to a lot of things! Were a couple and we'll always have our up's and down's, that is what I believe can only make us learn for the next time. I'll probably have a question soon lol! THANKS FOR THE THREAD!
kitad86 Sakura Joined: Jan 2009 Location: GA Posts: 310	__________________

Jan 24th, 2009, 06:00 PM	#97
inkypina Member Joined: Jun 2008 Location: texas Posts: 164	I can't stop laughing at the "wet towel on the bed" thing LMAO!! Awesome thread :)
	__________________ 2009 Wish List: CL MutliGlitter NPs Chanel Jelly Flats Roses Pochette Balenciaga Violet First

Jan 24th, 2009, 06:11 PM	#98
IcansPotaFake32 Member Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 939	Why would one guy keep you around for your years but never be your boyfriend? You stop talking to him and he keeps coming back. Why does he keep coming back? What's in it for him? We are talking more than a decade!
IcansPotaFake32 Member Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 939

Jan 24th, 2009, 06:52 PM	#100
ChanelGirlE xoxo Joined: Jan 2008 Location: City Girl Posts: 798	why when a relationship ended badly.... he initially wanted you back, then decided since he couldn't have you--- wanted to be friends, and then changed his mind somewhere and decided to never talk to you again?
	__________________ Recent Buys (I'm in an LV and CL phase!) [x] Damier Azur Speedy [x] Damier Papillion [x] Damier Azur Key Holder [x] Epi Art Deco Clutch [x] CL Rose Indien Ron Rons [x] CL Camo Ballet Flats

Jan 24th, 2009, 08:38 PM	#101
Janos614 Member Joined: Feb 2006 Location: NYC Posts: 2,257	Libertine, you are awesome! Thanks for the clarification.
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Jan 25th, 2009, 10:23 AM	#105
EMMY Member Joined: Aug 2006 Location: Syracuse , New York Posts: 6,735	I just went to your website....I was very entertained..I hope it takes off for you..I absolutely love this thread!!!
	__________________ Emmy

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