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Laurie8504 · May 19th, 2009, 11:52 PM

Originally Posted by Charles

.
Tell me, how do you feel?

Now see, all any man has to do is look a woman in the eye and say those words to her. Then listen, really listen. And he's golden. Charles, you need to share this knowledge with the other members of your gender.

princess · May 20th, 2009, 12:23 AM

Question: a man who shows interest and is all flirty and always talkative with u suddenly with a few weeks of nothing seeing each other and when ur around again he acts like he doesn't know u, yet when u stand from a far distance he doesn't take his eyes off u and keeps looking. sometimes even when i look back at him he doesn't look look away, i look away and look back again he's still watching me. i don't get this? why does he keep starting at me?

Charles · May 20th, 2009, 10:59 AM

Originally Posted by Laurie8504

Now see, all any man has to do is look a woman in the eye and say those words to her. Then listen, really listen. And he's golden. Charles, you need to share this knowledge with the other members of your gender.

That's Dr Phil's job

Although, if I get a TV deal, I'll def spread the word.

Originally Posted by princess

Question: a man who shows interest and is all flirty and always talkative with u suddenly with a few weeks of nothing seeing each other and when ur around again he acts like he doesn't know u, yet when u stand from a far distance he doesn't take his eyes off u and keeps looking. sometimes even when i look back at him he doesn't look look away, i look away and look back again he's still watching me. i don't get this? why does he keep starting at me?

Honestly, I'm not sure. Could be it's been so long since you've seen each other that he's a bit hesitant to get back into the flirting until he gauges your reactions/interest. Do you like him?

mymeimei02 · May 20th, 2009, 11:27 AM

Originally Posted by Charles

The first one is cause he doesn't want to deal with saying he's not interested in you to your face. Same reason girls say yes to another date, but never call back or answer a man's call.

Second one...people do lose track of time.

Thanks Charles I was just asking in general. My ex would always say "I'll call you" and he wouldn't call I always ended up calling him. It was frustrating to me it was like he was lying to me or not following through. I know its was a bit petty but it would irritate me so much because I would be waiting for his call.

Charles · May 20th, 2009, 11:31 AM

Oh, I was assuming you meant a guy you just met.

If it was your ex, well, again, people lose track of time. Maybe his idea of calling later was 2 days and your was 1 day. Maybe he wasn't a phone talker.

Communication...make sure everyone's on the same page.

princess · May 20th, 2009, 02:17 PM

Originally Posted by Charles

Honestly, I'm not sure. Could be it's been so long since you've seen each other that he's a bit hesitant to get back into the flirting until he gauges your reactions/interest. Do you like him?

that could be a valid reason, but... would it be that hard to even say hi? or a simple smile? or it could have been all me thinking this all along. now even when he's saying something on work related terms he doesn't even look at me. NOT AT ALL. (before when he'd talk to me, we'd have these werid deep eye gazes and i even found it awakard sometimes 'cause he doesn't look away) normally when u talk to a person you don't have to directly look at them in the eye while the conversation is going... but he doesn't even look at all, and looks straight while i stand to the corner of his eyes and he just talks/mumbles. but once I walk away, that’s when i notice hes staring at me, why? and it’s weird how within an hour, i find that he's around me (when he's not suppose to be, because we work in different departments) just showing up randomly all around. (and every time i look at him, i notice that he's looking at me. from a distance he looks at me, but when im standing beside him he doesn't even? what’s his deal?) am i thinking too much? how do u think i should approach this situation Charles? and to answer your question, yes i am interested in him!

Charles · May 20th, 2009, 04:54 PM

It's really hard to gauge, cause he's not acting like a typical guy would if he's interested...he's not acting disinterested either.
Do you email? Maybe email him about work, then segue into social topics. Ask about his weekend, ask if he has any big plans, stuff like that. Then let him know you'll be somewhere, like a club or an event with some friends and tell him he should check it out. That way, you're not asking him out, per se, but you're still taking a bit of control and tossing out a carrot for him to jump for. If he takes it and shows up, great, if not, then he's probably not interested but, you won't feel embarrassed cause you were just being friendly.

princess · May 20th, 2009, 08:28 PM

Originally Posted by Charles

It's really hard to gauge, cause he's not acting like a typical guy would if he's interested...he's not acting disinterested either.
Do you email? Maybe email him about work, then segue into social topics. Ask about his weekend, ask if he has any big plans, stuff like that. Then let him know you'll be somewhere, like a club or an event with some friends and tell him he should check it out. That way, you're not asking him out, per se, but you're still taking a bit of control and tossing out a carrot for him to jump for. If he takes it and shows up, great, if not, then he's probably not interested but, you won't feel embarrassed cause you were just being friendly.

that's another thing, we don't have email or phone contact. another thing is under our work setting i can't find a legit excuse for him to ask for my number/email, the only way is if i would just slip him my number... which im hesitent to do because im not sure if he's interested or not. or should i blunt out and ask him why he's always starting at me? i think its a little mean to do...

normally when a guy is interested in a girl what signs does he show that he is? some of his signs are very obvious, yet, he can act very strange too!

Charles · May 20th, 2009, 09:59 PM

It's a hard situation.
You can always smile when he looks at you...hold his gaze, look away, then look back in a second or too. Maybe take the initiative to say hi and see what he says.
Unless you're willing to put yourself out there, you're kind of waiting on him to make a move, so you'll need to let him know you're open to him talking to you.

closeted · May 22nd, 2009, 12:57 AM

Is it normal for a guy to still be affectionate but not be sexual? Should I be worried?

Chanel Belle · May 22nd, 2009, 01:17 AM

Originally Posted by princess

that's another thing, we don't have email or phone contact. another thing is under our work setting i can't find a legit excuse for him to ask for my number/email, the only way is if i would just slip him my number... which im hesitent to do because im not sure if he's interested or not. or should i blunt out and ask him why he's always starting at me? i think its a little mean to do...

normally when a guy is interested in a girl what signs does he show that he is? some of his signs are very obvious, yet, he can act very strange too!

Maybe he's interested in you, but for various reasons, he's holding back and not pursuing you? Or maybe he has a girlfriend and hence, distancing himself from you? God knows.

Just go up to him and smile and say hi the next time you see him and see how he reacts.

dake2008 · May 22nd, 2009, 10:01 AM

Ok Charles - I could use your help! Here is my longgg post : Long winded question about a "Male Friend"
I am trying to be open minded and understand he is going thru a lot right now and mostly can use a friend. I just am afraid to get really hurt. The fact he wants to stay friends with his ex's who he was really into and it wasn't that long ago really worries me. help!

Charles · May 22nd, 2009, 12:46 PM

Originally Posted by closeted

Is it normal for a guy to still be affectionate but not be sexual? Should I be worried?

I don't know..you tell me. I need a few more details than that. :)

How long have you been together?
How long has he not been sexual?
What do you consider, not being sexual?
What were his sexual habits in the past?

Originally Posted by dake2008

Ok Charles - I could use your help! Here is my longgg post : Long winded question about a "Male Friend"
I am trying to be open minded and understand he is going thru a lot right now and mostly can use a friend. I just am afraid to get really hurt. The fact he wants to stay friends with his ex's who he was really into and it wasn't that long ago really worries me. help!

Let me go read it.

closeted · May 22nd, 2009, 09:18 PM

I know he dated other women before and is not a virgin ( I am).We've been together 3 yrs, and although we never have sex all the way, we used to do all the stuffs except that. We stop fooling around after he proposed, he wants to do it only after we are married, I think it's a big deal for him that we're being proper. He's still as affectionate as always, with cuddles, hugs and kisses, just not with the same intensity ( err maybe degree of horniness? )
I have no reason whatsoever to think that he's cheating. I also know he's having major work stress, so that might affect it. But hey, a guy under 30 is a guy with some degree of vitality, so I'm just wondering if it is normal for a guy, I mean where does all the sexual energy go to?

Charles · May 23rd, 2009, 11:36 AM

Stress does play a lot in horniness. The biggest pat of sexuality is the brain and when it's focused/worried about something else, sex can definitely take a back seat.
If you don't think there are any other issues, then I'd just relax a bit and see where things go. If it worsens, then talk to him about it.

May 20th, 2009, 12:23 AM	#347
princess Member Joined: Dec 2006 Posts: 108	Question: a man who shows interest and is all flirty and always talkative with u suddenly with a few weeks of nothing seeing each other and when ur around again he acts like he doesn't know u, yet when u stand from a far distance he doesn't take his eyes off u and keeps looking. sometimes even when i look back at him he doesn't look look away, i look away and look back again he's still watching me. i don't get this? why does he keep starting at me?
princess Member Joined: Dec 2006 Posts: 108	__________________

May 20th, 2009, 11:31 AM	#350
Charles Sucks at budgeting Joined: Jan 2007 Location: Jacksonville, Fl Posts: 6,182	Oh, I was assuming you meant a guy you just met. If it was your ex, well, again, people lose track of time. Maybe his idea of calling later was 2 days and your was 1 day. Maybe he wasn't a phone talker. Communication...make sure everyone's on the same page.
	__________________

May 20th, 2009, 04:54 PM	#352
Charles Sucks at budgeting Joined: Jan 2007 Location: Jacksonville, Fl Posts: 6,182	It's really hard to gauge, cause he's not acting like a typical guy would if he's interested...he's not acting disinterested either. Do you email? Maybe email him about work, then segue into social topics. Ask about his weekend, ask if he has any big plans, stuff like that. Then let him know you'll be somewhere, like a club or an event with some friends and tell him he should check it out. That way, you're not asking him out, per se, but you're still taking a bit of control and tossing out a carrot for him to jump for. If he takes it and shows up, great, if not, then he's probably not interested but, you won't feel embarrassed cause you were just being friendly.
	__________________

May 20th, 2009, 09:59 PM	#354
Charles Sucks at budgeting Joined: Jan 2007 Location: Jacksonville, Fl Posts: 6,182	It's a hard situation. You can always smile when he looks at you...hold his gaze, look away, then look back in a second or too. Maybe take the initiative to say hi and see what he says. Unless you're willing to put yourself out there, you're kind of waiting on him to make a move, so you'll need to let him know you're open to him talking to you.
	__________________

May 22nd, 2009, 12:57 AM	#355
closeted Member Joined: Feb 2009 Posts: 35	Is it normal for a guy to still be affectionate but not be sexual? Should I be worried?
closeted Member Joined: Feb 2009 Posts: 35

May 22nd, 2009, 10:01 AM	#357
dake2008 Member Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 55	Ok Charles - I could use your help! Here is my longgg post : Long winded question about a "Male Friend" I am trying to be open minded and understand he is going thru a lot right now and mostly can use a friend. I just am afraid to get really hurt. The fact he wants to stay friends with his ex's who he was really into and it wasn't that long ago really worries me. help!
dake2008 Member Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 55

May 22nd, 2009, 09:18 PM	#359
closeted Member Joined: Feb 2009 Posts: 35	I know he dated other women before and is not a virgin ( I am).We've been together 3 yrs, and although we never have sex all the way, we used to do all the stuffs except that. We stop fooling around after he proposed, he wants to do it only after we are married, I think it's a big deal for him that we're being proper. He's still as affectionate as always, with cuddles, hugs and kisses, just not with the same intensity ( err maybe degree of horniness? ) I have no reason whatsoever to think that he's cheating. I also know he's having major work stress, so that might affect it. But hey, a guy under 30 is a guy with some degree of vitality, so I'm just wondering if it is normal for a guy, I mean where does all the sexual energy go to?
closeted Member Joined: Feb 2009 Posts: 35

May 23rd, 2009, 11:36 AM	#360
Charles Sucks at budgeting Joined: Jan 2007 Location: Jacksonville, Fl Posts: 6,182	Stress does play a lot in horniness. The biggest pat of sexuality is the brain and when it's focused/worried about something else, sex can definitely take a back seat. If you don't think there are any other issues, then I'd just relax a bit and see where things go. If it worsens, then talk to him about it.
	__________________

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