What do you not tell your SO?

may3545 · Jun 15th, 2008, 10:28 PM

So I hear about how women and men tend to hide certain things from their significant others. Is this a good thing? My boyfriend is very much into wanting us to be very honest and just be strong enough to tell each other the truth. He hates my spending habits, so I don't want to tell him about my new Louboutins or how I want another Balenciaga handbag. I'd rather just get them and then if he notices, I say "Oh, this? I've had it!"

What do you hide, or do you hide at all? Is it bad?

Purses · Jun 15th, 2008, 10:34 PM

Well, this is all new for me and my boyfriend. I bought this summer dress and shawl and I hung it in the closet and he never noticed it. When we went out on a date this past weekend, I wore it and the first thing he said was, "when did you get that!?"
I did not know how to take that at all. I asked him if he liked it but he was still in shock.
That got me feeling worried and I told him that.
I brought up the subject today and he said that he did like the dress, but was surprised that I went shopping without his knowledge. Meanwhile I did tell him that I planned to go shopping for a bra and also ended up getting that summer dress and lovely shawl.

VPT · Jun 15th, 2008, 10:34 PM

I don't usually tell him the bad things I have heard others say about him. I just tell those idiots to go fug themselves

may3545 · Jun 15th, 2008, 10:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Purses

Well, this is all new for me and my boyfriend. I bought this summer dress and shawl and I hung it in the closet and he never noticed it. When we went out on a date this past weekend, I wore it and the first thing he said was, "when did you get that!?"
I did not know how to take that at all. I asked him if he liked it but he was still in shock.
That got me feeling worried and I told him that.
I brought up the subject today and he said that he did like the dress, but was surprised that I went shopping without his knowledge. Meanwhile I did tell him that I planned to go shopping for a bra and also ended up getting that summer dress and lovely shawl.

My bf is like that. If I say I'm going to the mall, he gets a bit scared haha. Yes, I'm into Hermes, Chanel, and LV-- so I don't blame him when he gets that look. My friends do too. I've cut way down and value everything I have and plan to have. But why do we have to lie? I never mention logos or anything anymore, because of his judgement of my materialism. It's really hard, especially when I come home with two new pairs of shoes and he's in shock that I bought TWO. He's just very simple and thinks I'm beautiful just the way I am. He showers me with compliments and love and affection and attention, but he just hates the shopping. Argh!

helium · Jun 15th, 2008, 10:40 PM

Oooh it's a tough one. I make a big point to tell my boyfriend anything and everything. It really does wonders for communication which is, in my opinion, the single most important factor in making a relationship work.

My boyfriend hates it when I buy bags too (on the rare occasion), and he does do the eye rolling thing and comments on how i'm wasting money. Unfortunately I can't pull out the 'well you've bought blah, blah and blah' card because he, honest to God, doesn't buy anything he doesn't need. But I still make a point to tell him anyway, he's going to find out and it's easier if you just tell him and win brownie points for honesty than to not gain anything at all.

holly di · Jun 15th, 2008, 10:49 PM

I can honestly say that my dh and I don't keep things from each other, he is aware of every major purchase I make, as I am aware of his major purchases. I just don't be believe in hiding things from each other....he might not always understand why I want something but at least he knows that I bought it. My mom on the other hand buys stuff all the time without my dads knowledge, it is funny watching her sneak stuff in the house!

QueenOfDa702 · Jun 15th, 2008, 10:59 PM

In all honesty, I dont hide anything. Hes just going to find out later, so hiding stuff is dumb IMO. I would especially never hide material items I've bought, thats so pointless(please dont stone me!).

guancia · Jun 15th, 2008, 11:11 PM

I don't hide anything from my DF. What's the point?

He either finds out right away, have his reaction. Or you hide it and he's reaction is 10x worse b/c you hid the truth. I don't lie to him, and I can't lie to him.

But I do agree with VPT, if anyone said anything bad about him, I probably wouldn't tell him.

claireZk · Jun 15th, 2008, 11:15 PM

I don't tell him how much things cost unless he really wants to know (we don't share finances, so I don't see why I should), and I also don't go into explicit details about past relationships. If he wants to know somethig I'll tell him, but I'm not going to just tell him upsetting things for no reason

QueenOfDa702 · Jun 15th, 2008, 11:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VPT

I don't usually tell him the bad things I have heard others say about him. I just tell those idiots to go fug themselves

I agree. But he would eventually find out because I would have them in a choke hold and my SO would wonder why I beat someone up for "no reason".

emmalawyer · Jun 15th, 2008, 11:41 PM

We're pretty open with each other. It would be hard not to be open with my husband because he's such an easy-going guy and I don't think I've ever gotten into trouble with him over stuff I've bought. He's also my best friend and we usually have such a blast together; in fact we bond over our mutual idiocy...

I've liberally "concealed" the truth in past relationships though but mostly in regards to my spending habits. In those cases, our finances/expenses were separate. We weren't married or even living together, so I saw no good reason to encumber our relationship with gratuitous over-sharing...

IntlSet · Jun 16th, 2008, 12:05 AM

I tell him pretty much everything... but I try to avoid harping on how much I dislike a couple of his friends!

nauticalstar · Jun 16th, 2008, 12:09 AM

I definitely don't hide anything... there are some things I don't tell him but those things are more like minutiae of the day. There isn't ever anything I WOULDN'T tell him. Especially about my spending habits.

Vegas Long Legs · Jun 16th, 2008, 12:20 AM

I don't hide anything either. Especially stuff I buy. We keep track of our expenses together so he'd find out anyway.
I've learned that if you act like what you spend is not a big deal, then he won't think it is either. Kind of like when a kid falls down, if you don't make a big deal out of it, then they don't cry.

LVShoeFan2 · Jun 16th, 2008, 12:21 AM

My weight.

Jun 15th, 2008, 10:28 PM	#1
may3545 Happy living Location: NorCal	What do you not tell your SO? So I hear about how women and men tend to hide certain things from their significant others. Is this a good thing? My boyfriend is very much into wanting us to be very honest and just be strong enough to tell each other the truth. He hates my spending habits, so I don't want to tell him about my new Louboutins or how I want another Balenciaga handbag. I'd rather just get them and then if he notices, I say "Oh, this? I've had it!" What do you hide, or do you hide at all? Is it bad? __________________ Visit my website at www.TheConsciousSnob.com for a fun and mindful outlook about conscious living!

Jun 15th, 2008, 10:34 PM	#3
VPT i ♥ blood oranges Location: Singapore / Vancouver	I don't usually tell him the bad things I have heard others say about him. I just tell those idiots to go fug themselves __________________

Jun 15th, 2008, 10:49 PM	#6
holly di Member Location: little rock, arkansas	I can honestly say that my dh and I don't keep things from each other, he is aware of every major purchase I make, as I am aware of his major purchases. I just don't be believe in hiding things from each other....he might not always understand why I want something but at least he knows that I bought it. My mom on the other hand buys stuff all the time without my dads knowledge, it is funny watching her sneak stuff in the house! __________________ It's a boy!!!!!!!

Jun 15th, 2008, 10:59 PM	#7
QueenOfDa702 Misunderestimated. Location: I've gone RAOKing crazy!	In all honesty, I dont hide anything. Hes just going to find out later, so hiding stuff is dumb IMO. I would especially never hide material items I've bought, thats so pointless(please dont stone me!). __________________ ~Valeen~ Happy Holidays to all my tPF friends! Click HERE to visit MySpace Please help get justice for Karley! http://forum.purseblog.com/animalici...ey-385571.html

Jun 15th, 2008, 11:11 PM	#8
guancia gimme more! Location: Ontario, Canada	I don't hide anything from my DF. What's the point?He either finds out right away, have his reaction. Or you hide it and he's reaction is 10x worse b/c you hid the truth. I don't lie to him, and I can't lie to him. But I do agree with VPT, if anyone said anything bad about him, I probably wouldn't tell him. __________________ I gots loads of time to plan a wedding! Bring on the purses!

Jun 15th, 2008, 10:34 PM	#2
Purses Member	Well, this is all new for me and my boyfriend. I bought this summer dress and shawl and I hung it in the closet and he never noticed it. When we went out on a date this past weekend, I wore it and the first thing he said was, "when did you get that!?" I did not know how to take that at all. I asked him if he liked it but he was still in shock. That got me feeling worried and I told him that. I brought up the subject today and he said that he did like the dress, but was surprised that I went shopping without his knowledge. Meanwhile I did tell him that I planned to go shopping for a bra and also ended up getting that summer dress and lovely shawl.

Jun 15th, 2008, 10:40 PM	#5
helium Member	Oooh it's a tough one. I make a big point to tell my boyfriend anything and everything. It really does wonders for communication which is, in my opinion, the single most important factor in making a relationship work. My boyfriend hates it when I buy bags too (on the rare occasion), and he does do the eye rolling thing and comments on how i'm wasting money. Unfortunately I can't pull out the 'well you've bought blah, blah and blah' card because he, honest to God, doesn't buy anything he doesn't need. But I still make a point to tell him anyway, he's going to find out and it's easier if you just tell him and win brownie points for honesty than to not gain anything at all.

Jun 15th, 2008, 11:15 PM	#9
claireZk Member	I don't tell him how much things cost unless he really wants to know (we don't share finances, so I don't see why I should), and I also don't go into explicit details about past relationships. If he wants to know somethig I'll tell him, but I'm not going to just tell him upsetting things for no reason __________________

Jun 15th, 2008, 11:41 PM	#11
emmalawyer BLITHERING FOOL Location: with the teething twins!	We're pretty open with each other. It would be hard not to be open with my husband because he's such an easy-going guy and I don't think I've ever gotten into trouble with him over stuff I've bought. He's also my best friend and we usually have such a blast together; in fact we bond over our mutual idiocy... I've liberally "concealed" the truth in past relationships though but mostly in regards to my spending habits. In those cases, our finances/expenses were separate. We weren't married or even living together, so I saw no good reason to encumber our relationship with gratuitous over-sharing... __________________ signature too large “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” --Dr. Seuss ( lil Bitsy's favorite bedtime reading)

Jun 16th, 2008, 12:05 AM	#12
IntlSet Bonjour! Location: Chicago	I tell him pretty much everything... but I try to avoid harping on how much I dislike a couple of his friends! __________________ http://drinkmorechampagne.wordpress.com/

Jun 16th, 2008, 12:09 AM	#13
nauticalstar Member	I definitely don't hide anything... there are some things I don't tell him but those things are more like minutiae of the day. There isn't ever anything I WOULDN'T tell him. Especially about my spending habits.

Jun 16th, 2008, 12:20 AM	#14
Vegas Long Legs Member Location: Las Vegas	I don't hide anything either. Especially stuff I buy. We keep track of our expenses together so he'd find out anyway. I've learned that if you act like what you spend is not a big deal, then he won't think it is either. Kind of like when a kid falls down, if you don't make a big deal out of it, then they don't cry. __________________ Northern Europe July/Aug

Jun 16th, 2008, 12:21 AM	#15
LVShoeFan2 Hiphopopotamus Location: Drinkin' your milkshake	My weight.