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karmenzsofia · Jan 13th, 2009, 11:53 PM

IMO, what's cheating to one person might not be cheating to another. So if you think it's cheating, then it's cheating to you. A relationship has a better chance at surviving if the people involved agree on what cheating is. Cheaters hide and lie. If he's doing any of that, then he probably thinks he's cheating, too, despite of what he might say. JMHO.

angelsflying · Jan 14th, 2009, 08:23 AM

I joined this forum because I thought this was a place where you could post feelings,and possibly get advice, and opinions from others. Yes, I posted the very first day I joined, cause I had just found out that what my husband was doing, was still going on at that time...I was upset, needed to vent,and I wanted honest opinions from others...thats it,plain and simple....Yes, this is real,and a true story, I did not make this up to see what people might say...this was my life.
I am happy to say that all is out on the table now, his doings have STOPPED,and he now understands what it was doing to me. We are getting the help needed. I am rebuilding my trust. This is and was the only reason I posted this story, cause I wanted opinions from both men and women. Thanks for all that replied, it really helped me alot. Have a blessed day all !!!!

Dawn · Jan 14th, 2009, 11:07 AM

it is ABSOLUTELY cheating in my book!

blessed247 · Feb 12th, 2009, 12:07 PM

This is absolutely cheating

VPT · Feb 12th, 2009, 07:30 PM

Unless he's sharing it with you - online threesome/gangbang, then yes it is outright cheating. Just as porn is in a way mentally I guess, as long as he's hiding/lying/being secretive, it's all cheating. Sorry to have you feel this way, I can sympathize. If you need a listening ear you can PM me.

Viva La Erica · Feb 13th, 2009, 04:41 PM

OMG yes this is cheating! I don't mind DBF looking at dirty videos or mags but if I caught him owning a "profile" w/ messages and pics...i'd kill him.

I hope things work out for you!

chelsae · Feb 13th, 2009, 07:45 PM

yes it is cheating. it's even worse that he's doing it while you're right there asleep.

atsnowflake · Feb 13th, 2009, 11:42 PM

I don't think that looking at porn sites is cheating, if anything may keep a man faithful, for it's natural for men to look at other women.... BUT it's NOT okay to interact in chats, or do video cam interaction ect... that is just plain cheating! For me that would be no different then interacting in the same manner with a women in ' live person'.

I am really sorry this happened to you.
It's up to you what to do, but in all honesty, if I were in your position... I would print all his chats, durn all his video chats on dvd's record the method pf payment he uses (visa bill?)... get all and any proof that I could of him cheating, and take it to court and divorce him... reson: adultry. You would win.

But then then again that is only me, and I am very yes or no type of person.... it's really only your decision, there are lots of recommondations on this post... I would say take everything into consideration...but in the end, do what is best for you!

best of luck, and once again, I am very sorry that this has/is happening to you.
.at

BagaholicAnon · Feb 15th, 2009, 02:09 AM

My last husband did this and it totally broke the trust in our relationship. We ended up divorcing a year later. At the time, he convinced me it was no big deal, but in my heart, it was cheating and I could never get over it.

Actually he went beyond just looking, he gave him name and job, and where he worked to these women, and they were emailing him disgusting photos of themselves.

Sternchen · Feb 15th, 2009, 03:43 AM

Glad to hear that he has stopped and that you are working out your differences

Hope everything goes well for the two of you!

CCfor C · Feb 15th, 2009, 02:41 PM

Originally Posted by angelsflying

Im new here, but needed to vent my anger,pain,lack of trust,and talk about my possibly ending my marriage.
Lets start, my hubby of nearly 7 years has an account at an adult web site where you can post actual pics and videos of yourself,have private chat,and web cam abilities. I just happened to stumble across this web site while looking through my web browser...BOY was I surprised,and I went digging..found out he has pics and videos of himself,and has been chatting with women ,and other things I dont think I need to mention, on our web cam..and Im in the same room asleep....what I want to ask you ladies is...Is this cheating? Yes, I have confronted him,and he says its all just fantasy,play....told me he would stop, changed his password so I couldnt get on his account to read his chat, or see who he‘s been talking to....well, I got the new password,and its all still going on...I feel this is cheating,and betrayal...can I have an honest opinion, do you all feel the same?

YES!! And if he "can't" stop/go to counseling with you..it's something I personally would NOT live with.

ChineseGoddess · Feb 16th, 2009, 06:45 AM

It is 100% cheating and 1,000,000% disrespect to you.

emmakins · Feb 16th, 2009, 09:15 AM

If he knows you would feel betrayed by it and is doing it behind your back, it's 100% cheating.

Ultimately, he's making himself available sexually for another person. I'm sorry this has happened to you.

*Hugs* Stay strong and I hope your counseling sessions are most helpful.

blessed247 · Mar 2nd, 2009, 12:28 PM

If you are like me who feels like just being interested in another woman is cheating, then this is definitely CHEATING. I'm so sorry.
How are you holding up?
He does needs to stop and i'm not sure how you would know he has stopped especially if he is hiding it from you. But this is not a good sign. I will say a prayer for him and you too.
take care

BagLadie · Mar 2nd, 2009, 01:28 PM

If your SO can't tell/share with you what he is doing online...it's cheating.

Jan 13th, 2009, 11:53 PM	#61
karmenzsofia Life is Plan Z Joined: Jun 2008 Location: Tarot Card Posts: 14,892	IMO, what's cheating to one person might not be cheating to another. So if you think it's cheating, then it's cheating to you. A relationship has a better chance at surviving if the people involved agree on what cheating is. Cheaters hide and lie. If he's doing any of that, then he probably thinks he's cheating, too, despite of what he might say. JMHO.
	__________________ Satisfied but wishing 4 a WTM Mini and an AP ~~* Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it necessary? Is it kind? Or, more importantly, is it funny?

Jan 14th, 2009, 11:07 AM	#63
Dawn mj mod Joined: Sep 2006 Location: Northern Virginia Posts: 17,550	it is ABSOLUTELY cheating in my book!
	__________________ follow me on twitter!

Feb 12th, 2009, 12:07 PM	#64
blessed247 Member Joined: Feb 2009 Posts: 109	This is absolutely cheating
blessed247 Member Joined: Feb 2009 Posts: 109

Feb 13th, 2009, 04:41 PM	#66
Viva La Erica Sparkling Joined: Mar 2008 Location: San Jose, CA Posts: 606	OMG yes this is cheating! I don't mind DBF looking at dirty videos or mags but if I caught him owning a "profile" w/ messages and pics...i'd kill him. I hope things work out for you!
	__________________ My Collection Damier Ebene Speedy 30 Pink Graffiti Speedy 30 Black MC Alma Mono Galliera PM Damier Azur Mini Pochette Accessories White MC Speedy Monog Pochette Accessories Black MC Cles White MC Bandeau Vernis Rose Pop Cles What I need mucho mas

Feb 13th, 2009, 07:45 PM	#67
chelsae Member Joined: Oct 2006 Location: VA Posts: 1,395	yes it is cheating. it's even worse that he's doing it while you're right there asleep.
	__________________ Buzzy Boo "You're always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company." -Diane Von Furstenberg

Jan 14th, 2009, 08:23 AM	#62
angelsflying OP Member Joined: Jan 2009 Location: Georgia Posts: 5	I joined this forum because I thought this was a place where you could post feelings,and possibly get advice, and opinions from others. Yes, I posted the very first day I joined, cause I had just found out that what my husband was doing, was still going on at that time...I was upset, needed to vent,and I wanted honest opinions from others...thats it,plain and simple....Yes, this is real,and a true story, I did not make this up to see what people might say...this was my life. I am happy to say that all is out on the table now, his doings have STOPPED,and he now understands what it was doing to me. We are getting the help needed. I am rebuilding my trust. This is and was the only reason I posted this story, cause I wanted opinions from both men and women. Thanks for all that replied, it really helped me alot. Have a blessed day all !!!!

Feb 12th, 2009, 07:30 PM	#65
VPT i ♥ blood oranges Joined: May 2008 Location: on Facebook 24/7 Posts: 2,931	Unless he's sharing it with you - online threesome/gangbang, then yes it is outright cheating. Just as porn is in a way mentally I guess, as long as he's hiding/lying/being secretive, it's all cheating. Sorry to have you feel this way, I can sympathize. If you need a listening ear you can PM me.

Feb 13th, 2009, 11:42 PM	#68
atsnowflake Member Joined: Jan 2008 Location: Ottawa, Ontario Canada Posts: 189	I don't think that looking at porn sites is cheating, if anything may keep a man faithful, for it's natural for men to look at other women.... BUT it's NOT okay to interact in chats, or do video cam interaction ect... that is just plain cheating! For me that would be no different then interacting in the same manner with a women in ' live person'. I am really sorry this happened to you. It's up to you what to do, but in all honesty, if I were in your position... I would print all his chats, durn all his video chats on dvd's record the method pf payment he uses (visa bill?)... get all and any proof that I could of him cheating, and take it to court and divorce him... reson: adultry. You would win. But then then again that is only me, and I am very yes or no type of person.... it's really only your decision, there are lots of recommondations on this post... I would say take everything into consideration...but in the end, do what is best for you! best of luck, and once again, I am very sorry that this has/is happening to you. .at

Feb 15th, 2009, 02:09 AM	#69
BagaholicAnon Hopelessly Addicted! Joined: Jul 2007 Location: Honolulu, Hawaii Posts: 1,162	My last husband did this and it totally broke the trust in our relationship. We ended up divorcing a year later. At the time, he convinced me it was no big deal, but in my heart, it was cheating and I could never get over it. Actually he went beyond just looking, he gave him name and job, and where he worked to these women, and they were emailing him disgusting photos of themselves.

Feb 15th, 2009, 03:43 AM	#70
Sternchen Proud mama of 3! Joined: May 2006 Location: Bavaria, Germany Posts: 13,954	Glad to hear that he has stopped and that you are working out your differences Hope everything goes well for the two of you!
	__________________ Dear Santa, I have been a very good girl this year and have worked very hard for my family, my school and my job. This year I would like to wish for only one thing: THE CUPCAKE CAR!!! Please and thank you. Love, Melanie

Feb 16th, 2009, 06:45 AM	#72
ChineseGoddess Keepin' it real. ;) Joined: Feb 2009 Location: New Orleans Posts: 163	It is 100% cheating and 1,000,000% disrespect to you.

Feb 16th, 2009, 09:15 AM	#73
emmakins Obsessed with Pink! Joined: Jul 2006 Posts: 556	If he knows you would feel betrayed by it and is doing it behind your back, it's 100% cheating. Ultimately, he's making himself available sexually for another person. I'm sorry this has happened to you. Hugs Stay strong and I hope your counseling sessions are most helpful.
emmakins Obsessed with Pink! Joined: Jul 2006 Posts: 556	__________________ http://emmakins888.livejournal.com/ http://missy-em.blogspot.com/

Mar 2nd, 2009, 12:28 PM	#74
blessed247 Member Joined: Feb 2009 Posts: 109	If you are like me who feels like just being interested in another woman is cheating, then this is definitely CHEATING. I'm so sorry. How are you holding up? He does needs to stop and i'm not sure how you would know he has stopped especially if he is hiding it from you. But this is not a good sign. I will say a prayer for him and you too. take care
blessed247 Member Joined: Feb 2009 Posts: 109

Mar 2nd, 2009, 01:28 PM	#75
BagLadie Got a handle on it Joined: Nov 2006 Location: Red Sox Nation Posts: 7,002	If your SO can't tell/share with you what he is doing online...it's cheating.
	__________________ If life hands you lemons, make a vodka and lemonade. Then use the rest on your elbows.

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