Web cam sex and chatting/Is that cheating?

[angelsflying]

No, we dont have any children together...we married later in life, all our children are grown and on their own. Im 49 and he's 46

[kate83675]

Yes, cheating and lying about it too. I'm sorry you're going through this but perhaps counseling will help you two to get through this and have a stronger marriage afterwards. We can hope.

I'd say that she found this forum, read a while and realized this was a place with people who care about each other so she thought to ask advice for her situation. It's a compliment to everyone here that takes time to read a stranger's post and write a response.

[ShimmaPuff]

Originally Posted by kate83675

...I'd say that she found this forum, read a while and realized this was a place with people who care about each other ...

Let me tell you something.

If I had been reading stuff here for a while, just lurking along with no intention to register, and suddenly found myself faced with a really serious problem, I would totally come here to ask about it, I would not even consider doing such a thing anywhere else.

This lady could be confronting a situation that will mean the end of her marriage, a marriage into which we know that she did not enter lightly, from her age if nothing else.

Sadly, her situation is so not unique, that not only do I not question her motives, I don't even care about them, because the advice and concern that she has already gotten will be just as invaluable and helpful to other people who are still just lurking!

(angelsflying, I am sorry to put that so bluntly, but I'm 56, you're 49, we do not need to stand on ceremony. And I hope you will come back and tell us that you have made an appointment to see a counselor. Not necessarily with your husband, I mean you! You are going to need all the help you can get to work through this and decide where you want to go from here, and while this place is a terrific resource, both informational and emotional, the foetid and steaming pile of crap that just got dumped on your plate calls for bringing in the pros!)

[angelsflying]

Yes, Shimmapuff, I have made an appointment with my deacon at my church, I have talked with her many times about other matters,and she listens, doesnt judge,and helps me through prayer and many ways..thanks for your input !

[ShimmaPuff]

^^^ I am so glad! There may be things that only you can decide, but you are not alone, and you do not have to travel the road to those decisions alone!

Life can plop us most unceremoniously into some really nasty-ass pits, but if we let it, love - the love we receive from others, and most of all our ownselves, will pull us out, hose us off and buy us totally awesome new clothes!

[PinkSuadeSoho]

Originally Posted by angelsflying

Im new here, but needed to vent my anger,pain,lack of trust,and talk about my possibly ending my marriage. Lets start, my hubby of nearly 7 years has an account at an adult web site where you can post actual pics and videos of yourself,have private chat,and web cam abilities. I just happened to stumble across this web site while looking through my web browser...BOY was I surprised,and I went digging..found out he has pics and videos of himself,and has been chatting with women ,and other things I dont think I need to mention, on our web cam..and Im in the same room asleep....what I want to ask you ladies is...Is this cheating? Yes, I have confronted him,and he says its all just fantasy,play....told me he would stop, changed his password so I couldnt get on his account to read his chat, or see who he‘s been talking to....well, I got the new password,and its all still going on...I feel this is cheating,and betrayal...can I have an honest opinion, do you all feel the same?

IMHO-it's deceitful not being upfront and honest. Had you known about the site and ok'd it, different story. This isn't okay.

[PinkSuadeSoho]

Originally Posted by ShimmaPuff

Let me tell you something. If I had been reading stuff here for a while, just lurking along with no intention to register, and suddenly found myself faced with a really serious problem, I would totally come here to ask about it, I would not even consider doing such a thing anywhere else. This lady could be confronting a situation that will mean the end of her marriage, a marriage into which we know that she did not enter lightly, from her age if nothing else. Sadly, her situation is so not unique, that not only do I not question her motives, I don't even care about them, because the advice and concern that she has already gotten will be just as invaluable and helpful to other people who are still just lurking! (angelsflying, I am sorry to put that so bluntly, but I'm 56, you're 49, we do not need to stand on ceremony. And I hope you will come back and tell us that you have made an appointment to see a counselor. Not necessarily with your husband, I mean you! You are going to need all the help you can get to work through this and decide where you want to go from here, and while this place is a terrific resource, both informational and emotional, the foetid and steaming pile of crap that just got dumped on your plate calls for bringing in the pros!)

Excellent post!

[dallas]

Good luck angelsflying.

[dell]

All I can do is give you a HUGE HUG "HUGGGGGG!!!!!" I am so sorry... Whether you decide it's cheating or not, it still hurts. I would be devistated, as I am sure you are too.

[illinirdhd]

Good luck, OP. I hope your deacon will be able to help you sort our your feelings, and decide where to go from here.

[irish_clover]

yes I think this is cheating. I'm sorry

[LovePinkCoach]

Oh yeah....that's definitely cheating

[*Freetoes*]

Hi ~ I'm really sorry you're having to deal with this. I think what would upset me most is the emotional betrayal. More important to me would not be whether it's defined as "cheating" in the normal sense, call it whatever, but I would feel it's an emotional breech of an intimate marriage relationship.

And I just had to comment on this:
me too! To find tPF, join the same day to post this seems odd.

While I don't know if this is true or not, perhaps this poster wants to remain anonymous and maybe isn't so new? And even if they are new, the situation doesn't change.

[lvuittonaddict]

not just cheating, he lied to you when he told you he would stop. its one thing to be caught and stop right away, but for him to keep doing it.....tisk tisk tisk....thats cheating. i would be so upset if i found out my bf was having webcam sex with someone else....in our home.

[babieejae1101]

It's definitely cheating, IMO. I'm sorry this is happening to you.