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4everglammm · Jan 6th, 2009, 04:54 PM

As a mans point of view I agree as well that it's cheating. I can also tell you that the type of behavior he is performing is one of the worst addictions possible. I went to a mens conference a few months ago at church and we discussed some of this very thing. We had some speakers that said it is almost impossible to stop without help from someone. They would do unimaginable things hurting thier spouse although unitentional not even relizing it and making excuses to thierselve to justify the behavior. From a biblical sense the bible even says that a sexual addiction is the worse imaginable. If you love each other work it out but get help either proffesional, through a church or a good friend who he could hold him accountable. He is responsible for his actions but at the same time adictions are all consuming. Hang in there and work through it. You lasted seven years so it must be worth saving!

ilovepinkhearts · Jan 6th, 2009, 05:08 PM

WOW...this is bringing back some serious memories for me. my husband was a serious porn addict. i would talk to him about if often, i would tell him how badly his hidden porn and crunchy towels around the house hurt me...of course he didn't care. and then when it turned to him lying to me saying he was working on his portfolio while instead he was cruising cams and viewing naked woman doing god knows what and i was asleep on the couch in the next room... i caught him doing that 10 days after we got married. and then he finally took it to the next level and had sex with someone else...

so YES i believe that it is definitely a form of cheating

berryblondeboys · Jan 6th, 2009, 05:21 PM

Originally Posted by ilovepinkhearts

WOW...this is bringing back some serious memories for me. my husband was a serious porn addict. i would talk to him about if often, i would tell him how badly his hidden porn and crunchy towels around the house hurt me...of course he didn't care. and then when it turned to him lying to me saying he was working on his portfolio while instead he was cruising cams and viewing naked woman doing god knows what and i was asleep on the couch in the next room... i caught him doing that 10 days after we got married. and then he finally took it to the next level and had sex with someone else...

so YES i believe that it is definitely a form of cheating

is he in counseling for his sex addiction? I think I would insist on it considering everything.

pinkinthecity · Jan 6th, 2009, 05:32 PM

I agree with everyone else -- it is cheating. One of my old co-worker's boyfriend is a complete porn addict. He subscribed to a Netflix type subscription but for porn. He is not secretive about it, but even that has caused quite a rift between the two of them. He is not even interacting with anyone and she considers it cheating. Perhaps couple counseling would help out? Or maybe an honest talk with him about what this is doing to your relationship? Good luck!

callire · Jan 6th, 2009, 05:37 PM

IMO:

Yes! 100% Cheating.

Also, I'd hire a PI to hack into the computer and get all the info off it of his "activities" online in case you do divorce. Maybe I'm a horrible person for this, but that would be as good as gold in the divorce proceedings, especially if you two have children together.

boxermom · Jan 6th, 2009, 06:23 PM

Yes, it's cheating. And he's lying to you and finding new ways to deceive you.

dallas · Jan 6th, 2009, 06:27 PM

It's cheating, disrespectful and vulgar IMO.

sedmackay · Jan 6th, 2009, 06:53 PM

Agree with almost everyone else. It's cheating, and chances are, it won't stop unless he get's help.

Hugs, very sorry you are dealing with this.

Jen

BagLadie · Jan 6th, 2009, 07:39 PM

Sometimes I hate the internet.

I used to go into a chatroom many years ago (not a sex site) and people form real relationships in those places. It's more personal than one would think. I can't imagine going into something like that now. I like this because it's a "forum" ...not a "chatroom".

Anyway, yes, I would consider this cheating.

EmmaLee83 · Jan 6th, 2009, 09:18 PM

To answer your question, I think it is cheating.

But this seems like an odd first post for the OP, IMO.

ash14vwb · Jan 6th, 2009, 09:30 PM

^ agreed. I have no commentary other than I agree that it's cheating, but am waiting for a status update from OP....

QueenOfDa702 · Jan 6th, 2009, 09:48 PM

Heck yes, its cheating!

ShimmaPuff · Jan 6th, 2009, 09:56 PM

I wonder if he would consider it cheating if you were doing it.

This does not sound like it can possibly go down any roads that you should be trying to navigate by yourself.

Talk to someone. No one but you can answer some of the life questions you ask, and you probably don't know the answers yourself yet, or if you do, you may not be ready to think about them, nor should you try to - alone.

Get some help working through it and making your decisions, and privately start doing a little stock-taking of which friends and loved ones will be able to help and support you if you get to a point where you need some space - in any sense.

I am very, very sorry that this has happened to you, I will keep you in my prayers. You will get through it, and you will take care of yourself by letting others take care of you as needed.

dearmissie · Jan 6th, 2009, 11:01 PM

This is totally cheating IMHO. How can anyone seriously think otherwise??

bellacherie · Jan 6th, 2009, 11:08 PM

Yes I'd consider the interactive part cheating.

Jan 6th, 2009, 05:08 PM	#17
ilovepinkhearts team edward. always. Joined: Dec 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 4,400	WOW...this is bringing back some serious memories for me. my husband was a serious porn addict. i would talk to him about if often, i would tell him how badly his hidden porn and crunchy towels around the house hurt me...of course he didn't care. and then when it turned to him lying to me saying he was working on his portfolio while instead he was cruising cams and viewing naked woman doing god knows what and i was asleep on the couch in the next room... i caught him doing that 10 days after we got married. and then he finally took it to the next level and had sex with someone else... so YES i believe that it is definitely a form of cheating
	__________________ Please educate yourself about pancreatic cancer, and then share that knowledge with a loved one. http://www.pancan.org i will lose the weight...1 lb at a time!! i CAN do it! i'm not sure how many lbs to go - skinny jeans here i come!!

Jan 6th, 2009, 05:32 PM	#19
pinkinthecity All That Glitters ♥ Joined: Dec 2007 Location: New York City Posts: 794	I agree with everyone else -- it is cheating. One of my old co-worker's boyfriend is a complete porn addict. He subscribed to a Netflix type subscription but for porn. He is not secretive about it, but even that has caused quite a rift between the two of them. He is not even interacting with anyone and she considers it cheating. Perhaps couple counseling would help out? Or maybe an honest talk with him about what this is doing to your relationship? Good luck!
	__________________ "It's hard being left behind. I wait for Henry, not knowing where he is, wondering if he's okay. It's hard to be the one who stays." --Clare in The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger

Jan 6th, 2009, 06:27 PM	#22
dallas Yeah ano Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 4,272	It's cheating, disrespectful and vulgar IMO.
dallas Yeah ano Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 4,272	__________________ Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

Jan 6th, 2009, 06:53 PM	#23
sedmackay Member Joined: Sep 2008 Posts: 316	Agree with almost everyone else. It's cheating, and chances are, it won't stop unless he get's help. Hugs, very sorry you are dealing with this. Jen
sedmackay Member Joined: Sep 2008 Posts: 316

Jan 6th, 2009, 07:39 PM	#24
BagLadie Got a handle on it Joined: Nov 2006 Location: Red Sox Nation Posts: 7,002	Sometimes I hate the internet. I used to go into a chatroom many years ago (not a sex site) and people form real relationships in those places. It's more personal than one would think. I can't imagine going into something like that now. I like this because it's a "forum" ...not a "chatroom". Anyway, yes, I would consider this cheating.
	__________________ If life hands you lemons, make a vodka and lemonade. Then use the rest on your elbows.

Jan 6th, 2009, 04:54 PM	#16
4everglammm Bagaholic DH Joined: Oct 2008 Location: Florida Posts: 561	As a mans point of view I agree as well that it's cheating. I can also tell you that the type of behavior he is performing is one of the worst addictions possible. I went to a mens conference a few months ago at church and we discussed some of this very thing. We had some speakers that said it is almost impossible to stop without help from someone. They would do unimaginable things hurting thier spouse although unitentional not even relizing it and making excuses to thierselve to justify the behavior. From a biblical sense the bible even says that a sexual addiction is the worse imaginable. If you love each other work it out but get help either proffesional, through a church or a good friend who he could hold him accountable. He is responsible for his actions but at the same time adictions are all consuming. Hang in there and work through it. You lasted seven years so it must be worth saving!

Jan 6th, 2009, 05:37 PM	#20
callire Sofa King Banned Joined: Sep 2006 Location: New Burn, North Carolina Posts: 521	IMO: Yes! 100% Cheating. Also, I'd hire a PI to hack into the computer and get all the info off it of his "activities" online in case you do divorce. Maybe I'm a horrible person for this, but that would be as good as gold in the divorce proceedings, especially if you two have children together.

Jan 6th, 2009, 06:23 PM	#21
boxermom Member Joined: Aug 2006 Location: North Carolina Posts: 13,700	Yes, it's cheating. And he's lying to you and finding new ways to deceive you.

Jan 6th, 2009, 09:18 PM	#25
EmmaLee83 Member Joined: Jun 2008 Posts: 574	To answer your question, I think it is cheating. But this seems like an odd first post for the OP, IMO.
EmmaLee83 Member Joined: Jun 2008 Posts: 574

Jan 6th, 2009, 09:30 PM	#26
ash14vwb praline heaven ♥ Joined: Jun 2007 Location: jersey girl Posts: 1,642	^ agreed. I have no commentary other than I agree that it's cheating, but am waiting for a status update from OP....
	__________________ read the article @ marie claire... http://www.somaly.org/ ^and then please help!

Jan 6th, 2009, 09:48 PM	#27
QueenOfDa702 R.I.P MJ Joined: Jan 2007 Location: Where its hot, dry, and dusty. Posts: 7,641	Heck yes, its cheating!
	__________________ Valeen

Jan 6th, 2009, 09:56 PM	#28
ShimmaPuff Sentient Post Whore Joined: Oct 2006 Location: Earth Posts: 9,629	I wonder if he would consider it cheating if you were doing it. This does not sound like it can possibly go down any roads that you should be trying to navigate by yourself. Talk to someone. No one but you can answer some of the life questions you ask, and you probably don't know the answers yourself yet, or if you do, you may not be ready to think about them, nor should you try to - alone. Get some help working through it and making your decisions, and privately start doing a little stock-taking of which friends and loved ones will be able to help and support you if you get to a point where you need some space - in any sense. I am very, very sorry that this has happened to you, I will keep you in my prayers. You will get through it, and you will take care of yourself by letting others take care of you as needed.
	__________________ http://www.tzuchi.org/ http://www.commongroundrelief.org http://www.oxfamunwrapped.com/chooseagift.aspx Your Friendly Resident Poor Person Embrace Inspired Pride! Experimental Blog Follow Me on Twitter

Jan 6th, 2009, 11:01 PM	#29
dearmissie formerly oo0ehxtahcee0oo Joined: Aug 2007 Location: After a much needed break, I'M BACK!! Posts: 7,269	This is totally cheating IMHO. How can anyone seriously think otherwise??
	__________________ [His shirt says it all!! Click photo to read thread!] www,dearmissie.blogspot.com updated:11/03

Jan 6th, 2009, 11:08 PM	#30
bellacherie Enthusiast Joined: Nov 2006 Location: Australia Posts: 4,341	Yes I'd consider the interactive part cheating.
	__________________ On a quest to find the perfect bag(and eat my vegetables)

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