[RaquelleBelle]

Hi guys,

I really don't expect any replies to this as I don't really have much of a question to ask. But sometimes writing things out just helps me feel better. Although I think it's doubtful in this situation.

Yesterday, I walked in on my bf of 2 and 1/2 years cheating. She was... giving him oral. The girl was an old "friend" of his. So ofcourse I broke up with him. I can't stay with a cheater. Once a cheater always a cheater in my book. I feel like I don't even know him, he was the farthest thing from that "type of guy." Stereotypes really are nonsense. He always put me before the guys, and said sweet things, and spoiled me with purses and I thought, really truly truly loved me with all of his heart. We always talked about our wedding.

We live together, and he was the "breadwinner" so to speak being that I'm in college and just work part-time in a little shoe store. I'm an eBay-a-holic, and he payed for most of my purchases, especially things like bags. Well, now that we're over, I simply cannot pay everything I was supposed to pay on ebay tonight. Obviously he's not going to be buying anything. He let me buy 2 LV items and 2 Juicy Couture jewelry charms some days ago, so I'm sure most of you know what those items mean in terms of cost. How do I choose who to pay? I feel so awful for the poor sellers and devastated my 100% fb is going to plummet. No one is going to want a "raincheck." I feel like a piece of worthless crap.

I seriously cannot stop crying. I feel like I am going to pass out. My heart aches over what my boyfriend did, and at the same time, I am trying to think straight and be logical about what to do about my eBay purchases. My mom already said she'll let me borrow some money but it doesn't nearly cover my purchases. She doesn't understand nor agree with purses that cost more than $40. I sure most of you know people like this. She's one of the ladies who will go in T.J. Maxx and be like "$100? For this?? Just b/c it says Coach on it? You can sew the word Coach on a bag, and boom, there's some Coach for ya." What am I supposed to do? I hate hate HATE letting people down. I even sold 3 bags today to some girls I work with and I'm still not close to being able to cover the ebay stuff.

I can't get the image of her and him out of my head, it is sickening me and making me feel so nauseous. And he said the reason he did it is b/c I got a job. ! Yea! And he was the one who suggested I get one to help with my pricey loves such as bags. He says he was used to me being around everyday and spoiling him with attention so he made a mistake.

I'm sorry, I just wanted to say all that. Sadly, it did not help me feel better.

[VPT]

Poor you what an awful thing to discover! At least you'd be thankful you discovered this before you married him, imagine the little costs you got to bear with eBay purchases, a divorce would cost you alot more, plus the intense pain and suffering.

As for eBay purchases if you haven't paid you can try explaining your situation with the seller that you're broke. In most cases they will mutually agree not to transact and seller will get his ebay fees reimbursed. Sellers can't leave you negative feedback so as a buyer you have nothing to lose, worst case scenario just terminate the ID and start a new one. I am active on ebay and have 2 different accounts for buying and selling.

Try to lay off eBay for a while when you're in a crisis now which is more important. You may have to move out depending on living arrangements (who owns the premises?), and look for a new place to stay. The bags can wait.

[RaquelleBelle]

Thank you VPT for the kind response.

It's a sticky situation as my uncle owns the condo we rent. So I don't even know what's going to happen with that.

And yes, I am obviously going to have to stay away from eBay for myself for a long long time now.

I just feel so terrible for the sellers. I hate that they're probably going to think I'm some sort of crook. I hate the thought of people hating me, if that makes sense.

Ugh and on top of this worry and stress I have a disgusting image of him and her plastered in my brain. I stopped crying for like 5 minutes. I might be drying out. My heart still hurts so painfully though.

[leothelnss]

I am soo soooo sorry. This is my absolute worst fear for myself and any other person. I don't doubt it will take a long time to heal, but you truly are better off knowing.
You're going to hear lots of excuses, just do what is best for you.

[RaquelleBelle]

leothelnss- Thank you. And yes, I do know deep down I am way better off knowing about it. Like VPT said thank god his true colors came out before I devoted myself to loving him in marriage.

[digby723]

Oh wow, I'm sooo sorry!! That is a horrible thing to walk in on! Just be glad that you guys never got married! Better to know his true colors now vs. later! Best of luck to you...and I really wouldn't worry about e-bay. Even if your sellers don't believe your story, it doesn't matter. You'll never meet them and they'll never meet you. Even if they decide to judge you, it really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. Go about your life and try to make things better for you, at the end of the day, those people on eBay will re-sell their items and will forget about you in a couple of months time!!

[omgsweet]

OMG! Wow. Did he know you'd be coming home at that time? Did he let you catch him on purpose?

[VPT]

Originally Posted by RaquelleBelle

I just feel so terrible for the sellers. I hate that they're probably going to think I'm some sort of crook. I hate the thought of people hating me, if that makes sense.

I think you got more important things in your hands than to think about how sellers view you. Like I said they can mutually agree not to transact, it's an eBay feature, and once completed (only a few screens to click through) they will get their fees reimbursed the only thing they lose is the time in getting the item sold, to relist they have to spend another week before they get to see the money. Don't bother what they'll think about you because they don't know you in person, and even if they did, I'm sure they'll sympathize with you. At the most they will get upset for a few days then forget about the incident forever.

Don't buy anymore but sell off whatever you can. Don't get loans for your purchases either because that will pose a problem should you be unable to repay. Your mind is too traumatized now dealing with hurt and how to evict the guy don't add another problem

I hope you can settle this ordeal soon.

[killerstrawbery]

OMG! im so so so sorry :(

its very admirable of you to want to take care of your obligations, but do what you need to do to get that out of the way fast so you can have some peaceful time to yourself right now


do you have somebody you can talk to and spend time with? family and friends?

[Lvbabydoll]

OMG RB, I'm SO sorry to hear you're going through this!!! I had a similar experience that just happened to me last week, only it wasn't in person, it was online that I found out. But still, it hurt just as much.
If you want to PM me you can, I can't believe he would do that to you...he seemed like one of the "good" ones from what you told me.

As for the eBay things, I'd just say, overview the situation with the sellers and offer to pay their relisting fee to show that willing to try to make up for it and don't just have buyer's remorse.

And on something waaaay different, I love the little things in your signature, the ice creams, cupcake and My Melody!

[RaquelleBelle]

Originally Posted by omgsweet

OMG! Wow. Did he know you'd be coming home at that time? Did he let you catch him on purpose?

No it didn't happen like that. My manager decided we were slow and gave me the option of leaving work early. So, I went home to change and refresh hair, makeup, put on cute outfit, etc, and then I went to my bf's buddy's huuuge house where I knew he was at. And so I go over there and I'm like "Hey Ray, do you know where ______'s at?" And he's like "last I saw him he was playing cards with Gina, Mike and Ryan upstairs."

Yea, they weren't playing cards anymore and Mike and Ryan had took off.

[RaquelleBelle]

Originally Posted by killerstrawbery

OMG! im so so so sorry :(

its very admirable of you to want to take care of your obligations, but do what you need to do to get that out of the way fast so you can have some peaceful time to yourself right now


do you have somebody you can talk to and spend time with? family and friends?

Sorta. I'm not going to lie, that boy was my life. I feel very alone now that he's gone.

[RaquelleBelle]

Originally Posted by Lvbabydoll

OMG RB, I'm SO sorry to hear you're going through this!!! I had a similar experience that just happened to me last week, only it wasn't in person, it was online that I found out. But still, it hurt just as much.
If you want to PM me you can, I can't believe he would do that to you...he seemed like one of the "good" ones from what you told me.

As for the eBay things, I'd just say, overview the situation with the sellers and offer to pay their relisting fee to show that willing to try to make up for it and don't just have buyer's remorse.

And on something waaaay different, I love the little things in your signature, the ice creams, cupcake and My Melody!

I am totally going to offer paying for the relisting fee to prove I am not suffering an obnoxious case of buyer's remorse.

I am so sorry you had a similar experience, too. It hurts so bad. I really really really truly thought he was one of the good ones. Like, I would have bet my life on it I was so sure.

And thanks about the My Melody note! That actually made me smile, the 1st smile in over 48 hours.

[Lvbabydoll]

Originally Posted by RaquelleBelle

I am totally going to offer paying for the relisting fee to prove I am not suffering an obnoxious case of buyer's remorse.

I am so sorry you had a similar experience, too. It hurts so bad. I really really really truly thought he was one of the good ones. Like, I would have bet my life on it I was so sure.

And thanks about the My Melody note! That actually made me smile, the 1st smile in over 48 hours.

Wow, I'm still in shock over that...I totally agree with VPT that it's good that you found out NOW instead of later on if you had gotten married.
I wish I could tell you that the whole "keep your mind on other things" thing works, but it just doesn't. I've tried to take that advice this past week and I think of other things for awhile but it's so hard not having him to call just to say hi or text when I think of something funny or want to tell him something. It just HURTS.

Big hugs for you and I'm here if you want to talk. Sometimes it helps to have someone to just pour it all out to.

Also, aw, I'm glad I was able to make you smile!
Those are just too cute, I'm going to find something different to make my signature Halloween-y.

[ebayBAGS]

I am so sorry you had to experience that. Its probably extra tough b/c you live together and he is part of your every day. Take care of yourself first before worrying about eBay. Your feelings are 10x more important!