*VERY LONG VENT* Sick of being the ADULT in my relationship! Am I a b*tch?

[NLVOEWITHLV]

You're probably not going to like my answer, but it is JMHO... I think you guys need some space, he needs to figure out his issues and maybe grow up a little and you need to learn to be less controlling. You guys are just dating- you don't live together or share bills, so his money isn't your money. You need to leave him alone, and let him solve his own issue. Afterall, he is a grown man... let him be one. If you constantly nag and try to "help" him he will withdraw from you emotionally and possibly physically. GL!!!

[MissLianne]

Thank you

bagnshoofetish (great user name btw.... describes my life lol)
dallas
juneping
ZippyWho
keya
Plain Jane Doe
Kansas Halo
NLVOEWITHLV

I know I'm pressuring him. I know we don't live together but his lifestyle still somewhat effects me. I do believe in keeping a man's ego. I'll admit I have been somewhat hard on him. We kinda discussed it this morning.... I kinda feel bad cause he's really making an effort (well today... maybe he's put some thought into what I've been saying). I'm going to take a step back and not speak about it anymore. He's a grown man (in fact a year and half older then me). He can and will figure it out.

Just an update... Maybe you remember in my original post how I was upset with him how he didn't want to spend Halloween with me where I want go (childish on my behalf I know...) But he called me this morning to tell me his friend couldn't attend a Halloween party he pre-purchased tickets for... so he gave dbf the ticket and we're going tonight. Kinda excited about that. Halloween is a big deal around here and I have a killer costume this year... wanna spice it up and keep it hot for dbf lol

He asked a friend to get him a job where his friend works. He called this morning and his friend said he'll start on Monday. Not a job in his field, however; and taking a significant pay cut. But he plans to use this as a stepping stone until he puts out his resumes in his field. He said he's going to do that next week. I told him that even though this job isn't what he wants to do... it isn't forever... it's just to get by for now until he finds something he's happy with. I completely agree with many of your comments how having a job you hate really sucks.... I hated my last job, I would cry on my way to work. I can explain the relief I had when I finally told them I was quitting (after sticking it out for 1 year). The only reason why I worked at that hell hole cause I knew it would look fabulous on my resume in regards to career building and experience.

I'm going to step back... I really really feel bad for dbf. Just this morning he told me "I love you so much you don't even know... I don't want to fight about this anymore. It's going to be okay babe. The only reason why I decided to try that business venture is bc I wanted to get a head start for us" (he was going to put a down payment on a place for us and buy me an engagement ring)

Thank you everybody again. I'm def gonna take your advice. Relationships have ups and downs... and I really see how they say money is the #1 thing couples fight about. I guess thats why i try and work so hard... I dont need to be RICH (lol would be nice) but just be comfortable that I don't have to worry and be able to enjoy the finer things and the lifestyle we currently live (travelling etc).

[turboflgrl]

He seems like a guy with a really good heart and just wants to make things "right" in his mind. I truly 100% believe that. I think he needs to get himself financially figured out but I agree with the rest of the posters that said that it shouldn't involve you. Before my boyfriend and I lived together, I never mentioned his money or what he did with his money because it was exactly that - his money. I also think that he needs to have a reality check that you can't start from the top. He seems awfully convinced that he's going to land some gig making him tons of money without much prior work towards it. But I'm glad to see that he's at least taking the initiative to get a job - even if it is a temporary one. I am probably going to do that myself - I plan to work retail (yuck!) until I can find something that I really want. A little money is better than no money!

Anyway, looks like you guys are going to be doing tons better so congrats and I hope everything works out for you!!!

[bagnshoofetish]

good for you OP. every storm you weather makes your relationship stronger. you both sound like good people.

[ZippyWho]

I am glad he is willing to work this temp job and that u guys r in better terms.

[Charles]

See...just relax. Trust in your love. It's all going to work out.