[imashopaholic]

She's 3 years younger than me but acts at least that much older. Always tells me what to do and that I'm not doing it right. She has 3 children, I have none. She mothers me like I'm her fourth child and I'm 28 this year!

Today she asked if I would burn a CD for her that I purchased a week ago, as she didn't want to spend $18 buying a new one for herself. She lives 3 hours from me but her DH was passing our house on the way home from work so she arranged for him to call in and pick it up, so it would save HER the postage fee. Well my damn putie chose today of all days to play up. It's frozen twice and has taken the past 2 hours to do the monthly system updates, which has meant my programs have been running way slower than usual. When 3pm rolled around, I phoned her hubby to say I hadn't copied the CD and that I might need a bit more time to get it done. He said he'd already left work a bit earlier and would be at my house to pick it up at 3.30pm! He was supposed to be here at 4pm. Well he got here but as predicted the CD was far from ready. He waited for half an hour and when my computer still wouldn't co-operate I told him I was sorry but I wasn't going to be able to get the program to play nice, and the CD wasn't going to be ready for him to take back to my sister. He was fine about it, accepted the apology and headed home. Of course, the minute he left all of the updates finished and after turning my putie off and reloading, the CD was copied in about 5 minutes flat. I bolted to the Post Office and just caught the mailman in time for the CD to be posted today, which means it will reach my sister on Monday. But it won't mean anything. When her DH phoned her as he left my house, she hung up and immediately called me to give me a piece of her motherly mind. Saying that it was a major inconveniece for him to have to detour (10 minutes off track) to stop into my place and I should've been more organised! No thanks for copying it, or giving up my time and the $6 postage cost to send it in. Nope, just the abuse of an angry sister not getting her way. It's funny. After 25 years of having her be this way, I'm still not used to it, and despite being the 'older one' I still feel as though she's the one bossing me about like I'm a naughty little child who doesn't do what they're told. Aaargh!

How can I talk to her about this and make her realise that I'm sick of her bossiness, her rude demanding ways and her treating me like a kid?

[nataliam1976]

Originally Posted by imashopaholic

She's 3 years younger than me but acts at least that much older. Always tells me what to do and that I'm not doing it right. She has 3 children, I have none. She mothers me like I'm her fourth child and I'm 28 this year!

Today she asked if I would burn a CD for her that I purchased a week ago, as she didn't want to spend $18 buying a new one for herself. She lives 3 hours from me but her DH was passing our house on the way home from work so she arranged for him to call in and pick it up, so it would save HER the postage fee. Well my damn putie chose today of all days to play up. It's frozen twice and has taken the past 2 hours to do the monthly system updates, which has meant my programs have been running way slower than usual. When 3pm rolled around, I phoned her hubby to say I hadn't copied the CD and that I might need a bit more time to get it done. He said he'd already left work a bit earlier and would be at my house to pick it up at 3.30pm! He was supposed to be here at 4pm. Well he got here but as predicted the CD was far from ready. He waited for half an hour and when my computer still wouldn't co-operate I told him I was sorry but I wasn't going to be able to get the program to play nice, and the CD wasn't going to be ready for him to take back to my sister. He was fine about it, accepted the apology and headed home. Of course, the minute he left all of the updates finished and after turning my putie off and reloading, the CD was copied in about 5 minutes flat. I bolted to the Post Office and just caught the mailman in time for the CD to be posted today, which means it will reach my sister on Monday. But it won't mean anything. When her DH phoned her as he left my house, she hung up and immediately called me to give me a piece of her motherly mind. Saying that it was a major inconveniece for him to have to detour (10 minutes off track) to stop into my place and I should've been more organised! No thanks for copying it, or giving up my time and the $6 postage cost to send it in. Nope, just the abuse of an angry sister not getting her way. It's funny. After 25 years of having her be this way, I'm still not used to it, and despite being the 'older one' I still feel as though she's the one bossing me about like I'm a naughty little child who doesn't do what they're told. Aaargh!

How can I talk to her about this and make her realise that I'm sick of her bossiness, her rude demanding ways and her treating me like a kid?

First of all, you`re a saint for having put up with her behaviour for so long! well, enabling her to do it at the same time with your complacent attitude, but saint nonetheless, I wouldn`t have accepted such behaviour once, let alone for years.

What you wrote above is exactly what you have to tell her, call her and be strict but calm, dont let her interrupt you . Make sure she knows that from now on you wont accept such behaviour from her and if she tries to pull it, you will just hang up or stop helping her or whatever the situation will be. She needs a wake up call for sure. Good luck !

[imashopaholic]

Thanks hun. It's so nice to see that somebody replied to my rambling vent of little to no importance. My DH calls her the 'pebble in my designer shoe'! I really appreciate your advice and will definitely tell her what's on my mind when I work up the courage to call. How pathetic is that?!

[oo0ehxtahcee0oo]

your nice. i would have flipped on her and told her to get her lazy cheap ass up and go buy it her damn self. i would have stopped all th favors and told hwr to get a reality check, you arent her slave, she aint your momma.

but realistically, i doubt you'd be a b!tch like me... so maybe a heart to heart talk??

[nataliam1976]

Originally Posted by imashopaholic

Thanks hun. It's so nice to see that somebody replied to my rambling vent of little to no importance. My DH calls her the 'pebble in my designer shoe'! I really appreciate your advice and will definitely tell her what's on my mind when I work up the courage to call. How pathetic is that?!

Awww its not pathetic! Some people are just too nice to stand up for themselves, which unfortunately causes them even more hassle.

If you dont have courage to do it now, maybe you should wait when she does it again and then talk to her, while its still fresh and you`re " on a roll"? That would give you the necessary boost...HUGS!

I like your hubby`s sense of humour LOL

[imashopaholic]

oo0ehxtahcee0oo, thanks for making me laugh and for your great advice. I'll probably just go with the heart to heart talk because I know if I said anything like what you suggested it'd only make things worse.

[queenvictoria2]

Wow, you only have one sister, I have FOUR! Three drive me nuts so I put an end to all that kind of crap a loooong time ago ........ I suggest you do the same, you will feel much better, trust me

[imashopaholic]

Thanks Queen. I'll try!! Goodness if I had 3 times what I get from my sis now I'd go bonkers!

[LadyLinda]

Well at least she's not borrowing money! Mine went to town doing that, never a thank you and never paid any back. The loans stopped when Mom and I compared notes and found out she was double-dipping. Still love her, but she drives both (and my brothers, too) nuts because she's always having a crisis--romantic, financial, health, automotive, you name it, she has it. We just kind of sit back and watch the drama.

Consider her your private channel of reality TV?

[queenvictoria2]

Originally Posted by imashopaholic

Thanks Queen. I'll try!! Goodness if I had 3 times what I get from my sis now I'd go bonkers!

LOL!!! Believe me, I almost did! Sometimes it is nice having a big family and sometimes
One day I just said OK enough is enough. There weren't any arguments or anything really, I just "detached" myself emotionally, and physically for awhile, from them and all of their "drama". We still talk, we all live within 15 minutes of each other (the fourth sister lives out of state) I just REFUSE to take on any of THEIR drama, KWIM? It just rolls off me

[Sass]

OMG my sister is three and a half years younger and she is EXACTLY the same, bosses me around, tells my what to do and gives unsolicited advice which at 19 she really has very little clue about grrrh. Oh and i agree with 3 sisters i would go bananas!!!!

[queenvictoria2]

Originally Posted by LadyLinda

Well at least she's not borrowing money! Mine went to town doing that, never a thank you and never paid any back. The loans stopped when Mom and I compared notes and found out she was double-dipping. Still love her, but she drives both (and my brothers, too) nuts because she's always having a crisis--romantic, financial, health, automotive, you name it, she has it. We just kind of sit back and watch the drama.

Consider her your private channel of reality TV?

Oh yeah! THIS bank is closed too!

[imashopaholic]

Thanks lovely ladies. It's good to know I'm not alone with this. Bloody younger sibling!
I was born first. Doesn't that automatically make me superior?

[halle_nicole]

Yes, it does make you superior!

[LadyLinda]

Absolutely. It's a secret known by first-borns through the ages.