update.. my road to recovery from broken relationship..

ChloeSS · Dec 22nd, 2007, 09:19 PM

Hi everyone,

I am at us now.. and enjoying a holiday with my dad and crazy on shopping..

but deep in my heart i still in a slow progress of recovery..... When I was in auckland, my life start moving ahead, met some new friends, had some new activities to do at weekend.. i assumed i am OK.

and guess what he does called me 2 times.. to talk some random stuff.. not sure what he want.. i never call him since the official broke up around 1.5 weeks ago... and he told me to call him after i finished the trip and he did ask lots of question about my trip and schedule..

Today ( yesterday ) i arrived at Auckland airport, i suddenly felt very upset... I suppose to fly back with him on the same day for our holiday but its all changed. I told myself not to think too much as he already with another woman and enjoying their happy life...

then on the flight, i felt so upset deep in my heart. the worse thing is i have plenty of time to " THINK ABOUT THE PAST" and since I broke up with him. i physically got no tear .. ( i hope u understand what i mean, I tried to cry but i cannot) ... it is all depress deep in my heart...

I just done some shopping around Union Square.. shopping does help!!

but I still wondering.. why i have no tears.. deep in my heart i feel like i still have little hope on this person.. thats sad

i am moving backward

paintednightsky · Dec 22nd, 2007, 09:45 PM

Hope it all works out. Maybe you two can still be friends? I am not sure what the whole relationship situation is to start with, but perhaps he is trying to be cordial to you to make sure you are doing ok. If he has another gf already, he seems like a decent guy to actually try talking to you since most guys wouldn't bother to see if you are ok. I am not sure why you guys broke up though so I don't want to assume too much about this guy.

Seems like shopping was a little therapy! :) Try not to focus too much on it and it seems like your dad is trying to cheer you up!

ChloeSS · Dec 22nd, 2007, 10:01 PM

this is my pervious thread FYI :P

i need some help. i want to suiside

wordpast · Dec 22nd, 2007, 10:21 PM

It's good that you're meeting people and have activities planned!!

In my opinion, you are not moving backward. I think you are doing well considering the title of the other thread. Who knows why you haven't cried, everyone deals with hurt in different ways. I don't think it means anything.

DO NOT CALL HIM. Can you change your number? After what he did he doesn't deserve to call you whenever he feels like it. And I think you will get over him faster if you didn't have to hear his voice or see his number pop up ever so often.

He made his choice. Do not let him continue to play games with you. Be smart and strong. Change your number and cut him out of your life completely.

Edit: I know it hurts. You were with him for 8 years of course it's going to hurt. But the pain WILL go away. Please remember that.

paintednightsky · Dec 22nd, 2007, 11:08 PM

oh wow sorry about that. I guess my assumptions were wrong. From the brief over view, it is good you broke up. It is not healthy! Please don't think any GUY is worth all this mental aggravation!

You should work on yourself and self love before getting into a future relationship. YOU are foremost important! You will not die without some guy! Do you think perhaps your behavior was hurting him as well? I get the feeling he might have felt uncomfortable with your behavior and I think you should really build confidence on yourself, and not rely on a guy for it. However, cheating is wrong and one day you will find someone RIGHT for you!

Speedy · Dec 23rd, 2007, 02:28 AM

Honey, re-read your original thread. Not that long ago, this man hurt you so badly you wanted to take your own life. You had plenty of us here pretty freaked out! I know I was one of them!

Change your number. He's having some remorse now that he broke up with you, something you did for him or something he felt for you is nagging at him to contact you. DO NOT FALL FOR IT. I know eight years is a long time to throw away, but take my word for it, he'll hurt you all over again if you allow it.

Start a new life and enjoy it!

ChloeSS · Dec 23rd, 2007, 11:10 AM

he just sent me another email regards to one of the birkin special order as he used to order those for me.

the email dont have any content.. he just forwarded it to me..

dont know why it does bother me. and remind me about all those happy memory.

babyskyblue · Dec 23rd, 2007, 04:34 PM

Chole - as this all happened very recently and everything is still so fresh in your memory. Time can heal anything, trust me. I went through almost the same situation about 10 months ago and I am slowly recovering!

Shopping is a fairly good therapy but don't depend solely on shopping to heal your pain.

It is good that you are taking yourself out of the "circle" and do some travelling. Meet some new people and start a new life. I am sure you will do much better without him.

Take care.

Do not think back as this man does not worth, even a second of your time.

Speedy · Dec 23rd, 2007, 05:02 PM

Ignore his emails. Better yet, block his addy. He's playing games.

Just a few weeks ago he said he didn't love you. All he's doing now is trying to see if you'll come crawling back. Real men don't do this.

You are doing great! I wish I had one tenth of your courage!

babyskyblue · Dec 23rd, 2007, 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChloeSS

but I still wondering.. why i have no tears.. deep in my heart i feel like i still have little hope on this person.. thats sad
i am moving backward

don't! this man is hopeless. i am speaking from my own experience.

rainrowan · Dec 23rd, 2007, 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChloeSS

he just sent me another email regards to one of the birkin special order as he used to order those for me.

the email dont have any content.. he just forwarded it to me..

dont know why it does bother me. and remind me about all those happy memory.

He is still trying to keep you in the sidelines, does not want to come back in your life totally. He did not write anything else in the email. Do not fall for it. My ex used to do "nice little things" like that after we broke up. I think he wanted to see if I will hang around if things did not work out for him. To act sorry but not really mean a future together.

I knew that I would always remember how he hurt me, I did not want to get back together with him to be reminded always that he hurt me. A friend went through the same thing with their spouse. They told me their ex was now "used merchandise", they did not want to be reminded their ex was with another lover.

Glad to hear you have the support of your father. Shopping really does help. You might not have tears now or maybe a month. It might come all at once so do not be afraid of it. Your tears are not for him, it will be for yourself because of how you were treated. That is good.

lizlikeshugs · Dec 23rd, 2007, 09:26 PM

I remember prior threads from last year when you mentioned the Hermes bags he would buy and order for you, but money does not equal love. Even if those bags are incredibly expensive and difficult to get, it is not the same as loving another person unconditionally and never wanting to have the other person hurt.

I think it is rather cruel and childish of him to forward these emails. Maybe you can block his email? It may seem extreme but maybe it is time to change your number and email so he can no longer give you any more painful reminders of him.

Hang in there, things hurt now but it will only get better. The fact it hurts so much shows that you are a loving and caring individual and I think he does not deserve that sort of affection from you.

chelsae · Dec 24th, 2007, 12:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Speedy

Honey, re-read your original thread. Not that long ago, this man hurt you so badly you wanted to take your own life. You had plenty of us here pretty freaked out! I know I was one of them!

Change your number. He's having some remorse now that he broke up with you, something you did for him or something he felt for you is nagging at him to contact you. DO NOT FALL FOR IT. I know eight years is a long time to throw away, but take my word for it, he'll hurt you all over again if you allow it.

Start a new life and enjoy it!

Exactly! Nicely said.

You should block his phone number, and his e-mails (if possible) as well. Don't have any contact with him!

ChloeSS · Dec 24th, 2007, 01:36 AM

I had some good throught about the birkin bag today.. personally i really dont want to go for it.... I really think a lot in depth about our relationship and i think it is not worth for me to spend a second to save it.. since he is the person who got an affair and decided to give up on me.

my choice is :
1. wait for him.. be his back up
2. give up on my side and move on

and I cannot see any reason why I have to wait for someone who dumped me in the first place for something " GOOD" . I still remember all the word he said on the phone about he will not contact me anymore and told me to let go and start my new life without him and all those hurt words..

Althrought he acts like nothing now.. but it doesnt mean nothing.. I am thinking maybe i wont see him anymore even I backed to hk and maybe I shouldnt listen to any overseas call anymore.. since we wont be going anywhere unless he really broke up with the other lady and it wont happen at this stage..

no pt for me to spend time and putting expectation on something which is unrealistic.

ChloeSS · Dec 24th, 2007, 01:37 AM

btw he acts very different now. 2 months ago.. he never reply email/ txt and when i called him he just try his best to hang up asap..

but now.. he called me. he txt me and reply instantly and he emailed me.

i feel very funny the way that he react.

Dec 22nd, 2007, 09:19 PM	#1
ChloeSS Member Location: Sydney	update.. my road to recovery from broken relationship.. Hi everyone, I am at us now.. and enjoying a holiday with my dad and crazy on shopping.. but deep in my heart i still in a slow progress of recovery..... When I was in auckland, my life start moving ahead, met some new friends, had some new activities to do at weekend.. i assumed i am OK. and guess what he does called me 2 times.. to talk some random stuff.. not sure what he want.. i never call him since the official broke up around 1.5 weeks ago... and he told me to call him after i finished the trip and he did ask lots of question about my trip and schedule.. Today ( yesterday ) i arrived at Auckland airport, i suddenly felt very upset... I suppose to fly back with him on the same day for our holiday but its all changed. I told myself not to think too much as he already with another woman and enjoying their happy life... then on the flight, i felt so upset deep in my heart. the worse thing is i have plenty of time to " THINK ABOUT THE PAST" and since I broke up with him. i physically got no tear .. ( i hope u understand what i mean, I tried to cry but i cannot) ... it is all depress deep in my heart... I just done some shopping around Union Square.. shopping does help!! but I still wondering.. why i have no tears.. deep in my heart i feel like i still have little hope on this person.. thats sad i am moving backward

Dec 22nd, 2007, 09:45 PM	#2
paintednightsky Member	Re: update.. my road to recovery from broken relationship.. Hope it all works out. Maybe you two can still be friends? I am not sure what the whole relationship situation is to start with, but perhaps he is trying to be cordial to you to make sure you are doing ok. If he has another gf already, he seems like a decent guy to actually try talking to you since most guys wouldn't bother to see if you are ok. I am not sure why you guys broke up though so I don't want to assume too much about this guy. Seems like shopping was a little therapy! :) Try not to focus too much on it and it seems like your dad is trying to cheer you up!

Dec 22nd, 2007, 10:01 PM	#3
ChloeSS Member Location: Sydney	Re: update.. my road to recovery from broken relationship.. this is my pervious thread FYI :P i need some help. i want to suiside

Dec 22nd, 2007, 10:21 PM	#4
wordpast Member Location: Never Never Land	Re: update.. my road to recovery from broken relationship.. It's good that you're meeting people and have activities planned!! In my opinion, you are not moving backward. I think you are doing well considering the title of the other thread. Who knows why you haven't cried, everyone deals with hurt in different ways. I don't think it means anything. DO NOT CALL HIM. Can you change your number? After what he did he doesn't deserve to call you whenever he feels like it. And I think you will get over him faster if you didn't have to hear his voice or see his number pop up ever so often. He made his choice. Do not let him continue to play games with you. Be smart and strong. Change your number and cut him out of your life completely. Edit: I know it hurts. You were with him for 8 years of course it's going to hurt. But the pain WILL go away. Please remember that. __________________ Last edited by wordpast; Dec 22nd, 2007 at 10:23 PM.

Dec 22nd, 2007, 11:08 PM	#5
paintednightsky Member	Re: update.. my road to recovery from broken relationship.. oh wow sorry about that. I guess my assumptions were wrong. From the brief over view, it is good you broke up. It is not healthy! Please don't think any GUY is worth all this mental aggravation! You should work on yourself and self love before getting into a future relationship. YOU are foremost important! You will not die without some guy! Do you think perhaps your behavior was hurting him as well? I get the feeling he might have felt uncomfortable with your behavior and I think you should really build confidence on yourself, and not rely on a guy for it. However, cheating is wrong and one day you will find someone RIGHT for you!

Dec 23rd, 2007, 02:28 AM	#6
Speedy Sofa King Banned Location: N. California	Re: update.. my road to recovery from broken relationship.. Honey, re-read your original thread. Not that long ago, this man hurt you so badly you wanted to take your own life. You had plenty of us here pretty freaked out! I know I was one of them! Change your number. He's having some remorse now that he broke up with you, something you did for him or something he felt for you is nagging at him to contact you. DO NOT FALL FOR IT. I know eight years is a long time to throw away, but take my word for it, he'll hurt you all over again if you allow it. Start a new life and enjoy it!

Dec 23rd, 2007, 11:10 AM	#7
ChloeSS Member Location: Sydney	Re: update.. my road to recovery from broken relationship.. he just sent me another email regards to one of the birkin special order as he used to order those for me. the email dont have any content.. he just forwarded it to me.. dont know why it does bother me. and remind me about all those happy memory.

Dec 23rd, 2007, 04:34 PM	#8
babyskyblue Member	Re: update.. my road to recovery from broken relationship.. Chole - as this all happened very recently and everything is still so fresh in your memory. Time can heal anything, trust me. I went through almost the same situation about 10 months ago and I am slowly recovering! Shopping is a fairly good therapy but don't depend solely on shopping to heal your pain. It is good that you are taking yourself out of the "circle" and do some travelling. Meet some new people and start a new life. I am sure you will do much better without him. Take care. Do not think back as this man does not worth, even a second of your time.

Dec 23rd, 2007, 05:02 PM	#9
Speedy Sofa King Banned Location: N. California	Re: update.. my road to recovery from broken relationship.. Ignore his emails. Better yet, block his addy. He's playing games. Just a few weeks ago he said he didn't love you. All he's doing now is trying to see if you'll come crawling back. Real men don't do this. You are doing great! I wish I had one tenth of your courage!

Dec 23rd, 2007, 09:26 PM	#12
lizlikeshugs Member	Re: update.. my road to recovery from broken relationship.. I remember prior threads from last year when you mentioned the Hermes bags he would buy and order for you, but money does not equal love. Even if those bags are incredibly expensive and difficult to get, it is not the same as loving another person unconditionally and never wanting to have the other person hurt. I think it is rather cruel and childish of him to forward these emails. Maybe you can block his email? It may seem extreme but maybe it is time to change your number and email so he can no longer give you any more painful reminders of him. Hang in there, things hurt now but it will only get better. The fact it hurts so much shows that you are a loving and caring individual and I think he does not deserve that sort of affection from you. __________________ My Blog on Money Saving Tips (mostly for college students) http://unemployedcollegestudent.blogspot.com/

Dec 24th, 2007, 01:36 AM	#14
ChloeSS Member Location: Sydney	Re: update.. my road to recovery from broken relationship.. I had some good throught about the birkin bag today.. personally i really dont want to go for it.... I really think a lot in depth about our relationship and i think it is not worth for me to spend a second to save it.. since he is the person who got an affair and decided to give up on me. my choice is : 1. wait for him.. be his back up 2. give up on my side and move on and I cannot see any reason why I have to wait for someone who dumped me in the first place for something " GOOD" . I still remember all the word he said on the phone about he will not contact me anymore and told me to let go and start my new life without him and all those hurt words.. Althrought he acts like nothing now.. but it doesnt mean nothing.. I am thinking maybe i wont see him anymore even I backed to hk and maybe I shouldnt listen to any overseas call anymore.. since we wont be going anywhere unless he really broke up with the other lady and it wont happen at this stage.. no pt for me to spend time and putting expectation on something which is unrealistic.

Dec 24th, 2007, 01:37 AM	#15
ChloeSS Member Location: Sydney	Re: update.. my road to recovery from broken relationship.. btw he acts very different now. 2 months ago.. he never reply email/ txt and when i called him he just try his best to hang up asap.. but now.. he called me. he txt me and reply instantly and he emailed me. i feel very funny the way that he react.