Unfair to ask for STD test?

[Angelfangs]

This "relationship" has DOOMSVILLE written all over it........tell your friend to RUN! Not to be so calous here but said bf is getting the milk somewhere else at this point....especially by being "offended".....

[petitechouchou]

He should do it unless he has something to hide....?

[xoerinxo]

i think shes being perfectly fair, its important to be open about previous intimate relationships, and its not unusual to get tested.
i think he should just do it. even if he has something, at least she knows and can choose how to deal with it from there.

[juneping]

OP,
any update? what did your friend and her bf do?? i am so curious.

[shoegal27]

He still has not tested, but makes comments about them not getting any "action".

[juneping]

i hope your friend stand her ground. he's really an a**.

[domlee]

Originally Posted by shoegal27

He still has not tested, but makes comments about them not getting any "action".

He is complaining hoping that she'll break.

Keep your friend in check. Make sure she doesn't give in. (I'm dead serious about this). She may feel "bad" for him. Especially if he tries the whole guilt trip route on her (which is pretty much what is happening now w/ his complaining), but she needs to know that it isn't HER fault.

Personally, I recommend dropping the loser right now. But that is my opinion.

If he wants to get in her panties so bad, he needs to get an STD test. End of story.

*Just thought I'd edit this to say that just because he has an STD isn't the deal breaker. (That is why couples still play safe). It is his reluctance to be honest and to get a "simple" STD test, that is the deal breaker.

[njoyabl]

No, she is not being unfair to him. She wants to protect herself, and she should. You can't look at someone and believe that they are clean. Many times, people don't even know if they have been infected. Him not wanting to comply and feeling offended probably means that he doesn't know if he is clean or not, and is afraid to find out. Good for her, and if he doesn't want to take the test, she should move on, because this is a priority that should be upheld, and not underminded.

*njoy the lyfe you have, live another day*

[Nieners]

I think he's the one being unfair here.

[tiffthegreat]

Originally Posted by njoyabl

No, she is not being unfair to him. She wants to protect herself, and she should. You can't look at someone and believe that they are clean. Many times, people don't even know if they have been infected. Him not wanting to comply and feeling offended probably means that he doesn't know if he is clean or not, and is afraid to find out. Good for her, and if he doesn't want to take the test, she should move on, because this is a priority that should be upheld, and not underminded. *njoy the lyfe you have, live another day*

that's exactly what i thought, him not wanting to get tested probably goes way deeper than it may seem, from personal experience i remember right before the first time I got tested, I was SUCH a nervous wreck, I literally couldn't sleep for a week, even though I had never had unprotected intercourse, I knew there was a possibility, because anything can happen. So it was really hard for me, but in the end if you value your health and you care about who you're being intimate with I don't see why you would flat out refuse, fear shouldn't stop you from being smart.

[jackie100]

Originally Posted by tiffthegreat

that's exactly what i thought, him not wanting to get tested probably goes way deeper than it may seem, from personal experience i remember right before the first time I got tested, I was SUCH a nervous wreck, I literally couldn't sleep for a week, even though I had never had unprotected intercourse, I knew there was a possibility, because anything can happen. So it was really hard for me, but in the end if you value your health and you care about who you're being intimate with I don't see why you would flat out refuse, fear shouldn't stop you from being smart.

My ex didn't refuse testing because of fear but because he thought I was being "disrespectful" by asking him to do so. It was an inconvenience for him to do so and to be honest he did not care for me much either during that time period and he told me so (that he wanted to go and be with other girls).

He felt I should put out regardless and at the time I did because I was afraid that if I wouldn't he would go somewhere else, which in hindsight wouldn't have been such a bad idea anyways since he had no respect for me and didn't even like me. I was extremely lucky that I didn't catch anything.

[giagnm]

On 20/20 Friday night, one man was able to infect 10 women with HIV because he was attractive and looked okay. He is serving time because he knowingly infected these women who were too intimidated to insist opon using protection and swore he was "clean". He was dating numerous women at the same time and may responsible for hundreds more infections. My point is, if the guy won't take a test to ease your fears, let him go. Find someone who won't be afraid of a test.


Here is a link to the story:

http://abcnews.go.com/2020/hiv-crimi...ory?id=8579258

[juneping]

^^OMG - what a sicko!!
When I think of moment like this...it's just not worth it to go thru it without the test. What on earth would a man act like that?

[BittyMonkey]

Originally Posted by juneping

^^OMG - what a sicko!! When I think of moment like this...it's just not worth it to go thru it without the test. What on earth would a man act like that?

Patient Zero, who was responsible for spreading the AIDS virus in the US initially, did this when he was diagnosed. Not infrequently, people are angry at their diagnosis and take it out on other people.

[littlerock]

Please don't forget that even if the guy tests negative for HIV it still doesn't mean jack if he's been sleeping around for the last 6 months. The virus can take a while to show up.