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shoegal27 · Sep 12th, 2009, 03:54 PM

TOTALLY AGREE! I think this just may be the straw that broke the camels back with this guy for her!!!!!!!!! At least I hope!

chantal1922 · Sep 12th, 2009, 04:18 PM

Originally Posted by exotikittenx

Wow... can you imagine how this guy will deal with things when a larger issue comes up, if he can't handle this small one? How old is he? He sounds very immature. I would say good-bye to this guy, he doesn't sound like a catch to me. It's only 3 months in, too!

Ditto! I don't think she is being unfair. In this day and age you have to be safe!

shoegal27 · Sep 12th, 2009, 04:30 PM

I wonder if he has something to hide!!!!

baby&melovelv · Sep 12th, 2009, 06:45 PM

i've done this. if he wants to be with her, he'll comply. if not, there's plenty of other worthy guys who will. i wouldn't waste my time.

aklein · Sep 12th, 2009, 08:29 PM

Originally Posted by shoegal27

My friend is a health teacher and has told me that for MEN, there are no tests to determine if he has herpes or HPV. Herpes would have to be visually seen to know if they had it, according to her. So then, I ask you all that tested your men... what did they test for? Was it just an AIDS test? And how do they do it. My friend says that her boyfriend doesn't want to get swabbed, and that is another reason he doesn't want to test.

He doesn't have to get swabbed. He can get a blood test for Herpes. A regular blood test won't distinguish Type I from Type II. He would have to have further testing if he were to test positive for Herpes Simplex Virus.
And I agree with all the other posters, I hope your friend ditches this guy ASAP.

Irishgal · Sep 12th, 2009, 08:48 PM

Originally Posted by exotikittenx

Wow... can you imagine how this guy will deal with things when a larger issue comes up, if he can't handle this small one? How old is he? He sounds very immature. I would say good-bye to this guy, he doesn't sound like a catch to me. It's only 3 months in, too!

My thoughts exactly.

nathansgirl1908 · Sep 12th, 2009, 08:51 PM

His behavior speaks volumes. She needs to run, not walk, away from him. Perhaps it simply is that he doesn't want to be monogamous, but I personally believe he might have a little surprise down below. People who know they are free and clear don't fight over being tested.

And a very loud boo hiss goes out to him for trying to use that reverse psychology mess and say she doesn't trust him. ugh.

amanda · Sep 12th, 2009, 08:58 PM

Seems like a very simple and reasonable request to me. Any free clinic, doc in a box, or regular practitioner should be able to take care of it very quickly. I'd be extremely unimpressed with any man that dragged his heels on something like this.

Charlie · Sep 12th, 2009, 09:20 PM

It is not unfair for him, I think she is being completely responsible and smart. If he really cares about her, he would take the test.

caxe · Sep 12th, 2009, 11:41 PM

Before my husband and I got married we dated and then lived together for three or four years. I requested that he get a STD test, more specifically an HIV test. And of course, he did it! Any man that is responsible and adult shouldn't resent being asked to be tested. And hell, he should want to know his status anyway and get tested even without having to be asked! If a man doesn't want to get tested, in my opinion, he doesn't place a high priority on having safe sex, which is, in this day and age, total lunacy and living dangerously.

SPOILEDkiwi · Sep 12th, 2009, 11:50 PM

Originally Posted by shoegal27

He told her that he feels offended by her request. She is withholding intimacy from him until he does this for her...
Do you think she is being unfair to him? What do you think of his answer to her?

I think asking someone to get tested is one of those things that if done in a certain way can be offensive. Perhaps it was the way that she asked him, and not the fact that she asked him that made him feel offended. Some people are very sensitive to that sort of thing.

Bella · Sep 13th, 2009, 12:01 AM

Originally Posted by caxe

Any man that is responsible and adult shouldn't resent being asked to be tested. And hell, he should want to know his status anyway and get tested even without having to be asked! If a man doesn't want to get tested, in my opinion, he doesn't place a high priority on having safe sex, which is, in this day and age, total lunacy and living dangerously.

Amen!! I honestly don't understand why getting tested in todays world would not be the norm. There is nothing offensive or unreasonable about wanting to make sure two people entering a serious relationship are in the clear. It's a must.

mymeimei02 · Sep 13th, 2009, 01:18 PM

I agree with everyone here. She is being smart and safe and he is being immature about it. I learn you just have to be proactive about it and protect yourself. It goes both ways unfortunately women are more vulnerable to STDs than men are. So the point is be safe no matter what.

amber88 · Sep 13th, 2009, 02:53 PM

You can get herpes from doing other things than intercorse...good on her for being worried about stds! (he should be happy too that she cares about such things) The fact that he is being so uptight about her piece of mind...I think he has somthing to hide.

Immi · Sep 13th, 2009, 03:09 PM

Originally Posted by amber88

You can get herpes from doing other things than intercorse...good on her for being worried about stds! (he should be happy too that she cares about such things) The fact that he is being so uptight about her piece of mind...I think he has somthing to hide.

Agreed. Wouldn't it give you peace of mind?

Even if he doesn't have anything to hide, the way he's dealing with this is awful. If a guy I was dating couldn't deal with the issue of sexual health in an adult way I'd wave good-bye. I don't need to have worries in the back of my head.

Sep 12th, 2009, 03:54 PM	#31
shoegal27 OP shoe addict Joined: Sep 2007 Location: In my own world Posts: 2,764	TOTALLY AGREE! I think this just may be the straw that broke the camels back with this guy for her!!!!!!!!! At least I hope!
	__________________ Tori "The fact is sometimes it's hard to walk in a single woman's shoes, that's why we need really special ones every now and then to make the walk a little more fun. ~Carrie Bradshaw~"

Sep 12th, 2009, 04:30 PM	#33
shoegal27 OP shoe addict Joined: Sep 2007 Location: In my own world Posts: 2,764	I wonder if he has something to hide!!!!
	__________________ Tori "The fact is sometimes it's hard to walk in a single woman's shoes, that's why we need really special ones every now and then to make the walk a little more fun. ~Carrie Bradshaw~"

Sep 12th, 2009, 06:45 PM	#34
baby&melovelv That's what she said Joined: Aug 2006 Location: boston-ish Posts: 2,576	i've done this. if he wants to be with her, he'll comply. if not, there's plenty of other worthy guys who will. i wouldn't waste my time.
	__________________

Sep 12th, 2009, 08:51 PM	#37
nathansgirl1908 Laughing AT you Joined: Apr 2006 Location: The Land of the Biased Posts: 5,013	His behavior speaks volumes. She needs to run, not walk, away from him. Perhaps it simply is that he doesn't want to be monogamous, but I personally believe he might have a little surprise down below. People who know they are free and clear don't fight over being tested. And a very loud boo hiss goes out to him for trying to use that reverse psychology mess and say she doesn't trust him. ugh.
	__________________ Before giving someone a piece of your mind, make sure there is enough to go around. "The love inside...you take it with you." Patrick Swayze in Ghost

Sep 12th, 2009, 08:58 PM	#38
amanda RIP Uga VII Joined: Oct 2005 Location: Athens, GA Posts: 11,734	Seems like a very simple and reasonable request to me. Any free clinic, doc in a box, or regular practitioner should be able to take care of it very quickly. I'd be extremely unimpressed with any man that dragged his heels on something like this.
	__________________ PROUD TO BE A UNIVERSITY OF GEORGIA BULLDOG! Follow me on Twitter

Sep 12th, 2009, 09:20 PM	#39
Charlie Is focused O_O Joined: Apr 2007 Posts: 12,161	It is not unfair for him, I think she is being completely responsible and smart. If he really cares about her, he would take the test.
Charlie Is focused O_O Joined: Apr 2007 Posts: 12,161	__________________ One pound at a time, lift Charlie lift! Stop LIVE animal skinning in China - sign the petition

Sep 12th, 2009, 11:41 PM	#40
caxe Established 1976 Joined: Mar 2007 Location: The Southeast, US Posts: 4,963	Before my husband and I got married we dated and then lived together for three or four years. I requested that he get a STD test, more specifically an HIV test. And of course, he did it! Any man that is responsible and adult shouldn't resent being asked to be tested. And hell, he should want to know his status anyway and get tested even without having to be asked! If a man doesn't want to get tested, in my opinion, he doesn't place a high priority on having safe sex, which is, in this day and age, total lunacy and living dangerously.
	__________________ Let's get it on. It's time to get down!

Sep 13th, 2009, 01:18 PM	#43
mymeimei02 Member Joined: Apr 2008 Location: Bay Area, CA Posts: 561	I agree with everyone here. She is being smart and safe and he is being immature about it. I learn you just have to be proactive about it and protect yourself. It goes both ways unfortunately women are more vulnerable to STDs than men are. So the point is be safe no matter what.

Sep 13th, 2009, 02:53 PM	#44
amber88 Member Joined: Jun 2008 Posts: 107	You can get herpes from doing other things than intercorse...good on her for being worried about stds! (he should be happy too that she cares about such things) The fact that he is being so uptight about her piece of mind...I think he has somthing to hide.
amber88 Member Joined: Jun 2008 Posts: 107	__________________ Wishlist for winter for summer to last forever :(

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