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karmenzsofia · Sep 12th, 2009, 01:19 PM

Ditto. Unless he already knows he's got something, what's the big deal?

If a guy told me he was "offended" by my request, I would be turned off, not so much because of the possibility of he hiding something or not being about safe sex, but because his "offended" personality would make him sooo unattractive in my eyes. Grow up, buddy.

Cornflower Blue · Sep 12th, 2009, 01:27 PM

DH said that if it were him

he would hardly believe his good fortune and he'd be down that clinic sooo fast you wouldn't see him for dust

!

PrettyInPink · Sep 12th, 2009, 01:35 PM

Interesting, but... my boyfriend and I were talking about this last night. Even though I didn't ask him to be tested, he said that if I had... he may have been offended at first, but that he would totally realize that the reason WHY I asked him to get tested was for his and my own health. And because he cares about me enough, he would get himself tested.

I think it's a major red flag that he doesn't want to get tested. Does he have something to hide??

Crystalina · Sep 12th, 2009, 01:35 PM

I think she is a WISE woman, I don't blame her one bit, and I think he'd do it for her if he weren't scared of the results or possibly hiding something from her. There are too many fish in the sea to put up with shady guys like this one. If he doesn't get on it and get tested, she should move on!

exotikittenx · Sep 12th, 2009, 02:00 PM

Originally Posted by Cornflower Blue

DH said that if it were him

he would hardly believe his good fortune and he'd be down that clinic sooo fast you wouldn't see him for dust

!

LOL!!!!! Awesome.

shoegal27 · Sep 12th, 2009, 02:11 PM

Thank you all, I totally agree with all of you 1000%, and I knew you would all agree with me.

rainedrop1019 · Sep 12th, 2009, 02:22 PM

Originally Posted by Charles

I don't see an issue with her request. She's being smart and safe. If I cared about a girl, I'd definitely take a test for her peace of mind.

Exactly what Charles said.

Miss Evy Rocks! · Sep 12th, 2009, 02:36 PM

There is nothing unfair about wanting to be safe. Smart girl

I asked my then BF to get tested a month after we became exclusive.
He went that same week

"Maybe" is not an option

shy*violet · Sep 12th, 2009, 03:05 PM

I don't think that's unfair at all.

If I were her, I'd be concerned that he's making such an issue over it.

lurkingsmirk · Sep 12th, 2009, 03:35 PM

Just wanted to add, guys and girls can be infected with common STDs such as gonorrhea and chlamydia without knowing it - not everyone gets the burning/itching/oozing symptoms - and unwittingly spread it around. It's not a trust issue, diseases play by their own rules.

shoegal27 · Sep 12th, 2009, 03:39 PM

My friend is a health teacher and has told me that for MEN, there are no tests to determine if he has herpes or HPV. Herpes would have to be visually seen to know if they had it, according to her. So then, I ask you all that tested your men... what did they test for? Was it just an AIDS test? And how do they do it. My friend says that her boyfriend doesn't want to get swabbed, and that is another reason he doesn't want to test.

lorihmatthews · Sep 12th, 2009, 03:44 PM

Originally Posted by shoegal27

My friend says that her boyfriend doesn't want to get swabbed, and that is another reason he doesn't want to test.

You know what? That's too damn bad for him. I go every year for an ob/gyn exam and I'm sure your friend does too. If her BF doesn't want to get swabbed, that's ridiculous. Tell him to drop his pants at the doctor's or he won't be dropping his pants around her.

Immi · Sep 12th, 2009, 03:47 PM

Originally Posted by shoegal27

My friend is a health teacher and has told me that for MEN, there are no tests to determine if he has herpes or HPV. Herpes would have to be visually seen to know if they had it, according to her. So then, I ask you all that tested your men... what did they test for? Was it just an AIDS test? And how do they do it. My friend says that her boyfriend doesn't want to get swabbed, and that is another reason he doesn't want to test.

He should grow up. He doesn't like needles, doesn't want to be swabbed. There are tiny children who go through medical procedures every day more unpleasant than these (obviously not for STI tests, I mean for other health problems) with less complaint.

turboflgrl · Sep 12th, 2009, 03:48 PM

Not unfair at all and my boyfriend agrees. He said that if the guy isn't willing to do something so small like that now, he won't later on other things. This situation reminds me of those safe sex commercials that show the girl telling the guy to wear a condom and the guy refusing saying that "If you really loved me, you'd do it anyway" or something to that effect.

This guy sounds like a total jerk. I'd tell your friend to get rid of the loser before she gets in too deep.

Jahpson · Sep 12th, 2009, 03:52 PM

Originally Posted by exotikittenx

Wow... can you imagine how this guy will deal with things when a larger issue comes up, if he can't handle this small one? How old is he? He sounds very immature. I would say good-bye to this guy, he doesn't sound like a catch to me. It's only 3 months in, too!

enough said.

Sep 12th, 2009, 01:19 PM	#16
karmenzsofia Life is Plan Z Joined: Jun 2008 Location: Tarot Card Posts: 14,888	Ditto. Unless he already knows he's got something, what's the big deal? If a guy told me he was "offended" by my request, I would be turned off, not so much because of the possibility of he hiding something or not being about safe sex, but because his "offended" personality would make him sooo unattractive in my eyes. Grow up, buddy.
	__________________ Satisfied but wishing 4 a WTM Mini and an AP ~~* Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it necessary? Is it kind? Or, more importantly, is it funny?

Sep 12th, 2009, 01:27 PM	#17
Cornflower Blue Member Joined: Feb 2008 Posts: 4,329	DH said that if it were him he would hardly believe his good fortune and he'd be down that clinic sooo fast you wouldn't see him for dust!
Cornflower Blue Member Joined: Feb 2008 Posts: 4,329

Sep 12th, 2009, 01:35 PM	#18
PrettyInPink <3 Joined: Jun 2006 Location: Hockey Town! Posts: 1,445	Interesting, but... my boyfriend and I were talking about this last night. Even though I didn't ask him to be tested, he said that if I had... he may have been offended at first, but that he would totally realize that the reason WHY I asked him to get tested was for his and my own health. And because he cares about me enough, he would get himself tested. I think it's a major red flag that he doesn't want to get tested. Does he have something to hide??
	__________________

Sep 12th, 2009, 01:35 PM	#19
Crystalina Member Joined: Mar 2007 Location: West Coast Posts: 712	I think she is a WISE woman, I don't blame her one bit, and I think he'd do it for her if he weren't scared of the results or possibly hiding something from her. There are too many fish in the sea to put up with shady guys like this one. If he doesn't get on it and get tested, she should move on!
	__________________ ''Beauty fades, dumb is forever.'' ~ Judge Judy

Sep 12th, 2009, 02:11 PM	#21
shoegal27 OP shoe addict Joined: Sep 2007 Location: In my own world Posts: 2,764	Thank you all, I totally agree with all of you 1000%, and I knew you would all agree with me.
	__________________ Tori "The fact is sometimes it's hard to walk in a single woman's shoes, that's why we need really special ones every now and then to make the walk a little more fun. ~Carrie Bradshaw~"

Sep 12th, 2009, 02:36 PM	#23
Miss Evy Rocks! ♥Handbag Collector♥ Joined: Dec 2007 Location: Where My Purse Obsession Reigns! Posts: 2,927	There is nothing unfair about wanting to be safe. Smart girl I asked my then BF to get tested a month after we became exclusive. He went that same week "Maybe" is not an option
	__________________ "Try To Be A Rainbow In Someone's Cloud." -From Letter To My Daughter, by Maya Angelou.

Sep 12th, 2009, 03:05 PM	#24
shy*violet I heart PINK! Joined: Mar 2008 Posts: 1,286	I don't think that's unfair at all. If I were her, I'd be concerned that he's making such an issue over it.
shy*violet I heart PINK! Joined: Mar 2008 Posts: 1,286	__________________ I want a teal bag, dangit!

Sep 12th, 2009, 03:35 PM	#25
lurkingsmirk Member Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 107	Just wanted to add, guys and girls can be infected with common STDs such as gonorrhea and chlamydia without knowing it - not everyone gets the burning/itching/oozing symptoms - and unwittingly spread it around. It's not a trust issue, diseases play by their own rules.
lurkingsmirk Member Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 107

Sep 12th, 2009, 03:39 PM	#26
shoegal27 OP shoe addict Joined: Sep 2007 Location: In my own world Posts: 2,764	My friend is a health teacher and has told me that for MEN, there are no tests to determine if he has herpes or HPV. Herpes would have to be visually seen to know if they had it, according to her. So then, I ask you all that tested your men... what did they test for? Was it just an AIDS test? And how do they do it. My friend says that her boyfriend doesn't want to get swabbed, and that is another reason he doesn't want to test.
	__________________ Tori "The fact is sometimes it's hard to walk in a single woman's shoes, that's why we need really special ones every now and then to make the walk a little more fun. ~Carrie Bradshaw~"

Sep 12th, 2009, 03:48 PM	#29
turboflgrl Sofa King Addicted Joined: Jun 2008 Location: The Beach! Posts: 448	Not unfair at all and my boyfriend agrees. He said that if the guy isn't willing to do something so small like that now, he won't later on other things. This situation reminds me of those safe sex commercials that show the girl telling the guy to wear a condom and the guy refusing saying that "If you really loved me, you'd do it anyway" or something to that effect. This guy sounds like a total jerk. I'd tell your friend to get rid of the loser before she gets in too deep.
	__________________ ~Ashley~ "Unbanned and ready..." Wish List: Christian Louboutin Black Pigalle LV Ebony Damier Speedy 30 Hermes Cartouche Bracelet Love Quotes Scarves

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