[Charles]

Ok, so Kara lives with me and has slowly been bringing more and more of her stuff over. No biggie. Lately, she's been wanting a jewelry box. Great! That will help hide some of the clutter of rings and necklaces and such lying around. Here's the problem....the the jewelry box she chose is hideous. She loves it, I hate it. It's much larger than I expected, but she says that with its size, she can also put all of her make up in it. That's fine and that's helped, but it's painted silver and has mirrors on the entire front of it. Here's a pic:



It's hard to tell, but look at the vanity thingy and you can see how the mirrors are put across the front.

Anyway...so do I just say "Even though you got this thing without running it by me first...go ahead and get it" or should I say I hate it and that we should find one we both like...or am I just a complete asshole? I mean...I dunno, if I was living with Kara in her house, I'd make sure that she liked what I bought cause it was going into a space we both share.

I don't know..

[H&H]

Where will it go? If it is in 'your place' meaning you have to look at it all the time.. I do think you two should find something you both like...

[Tammy518]

Aw, Charles don't sweat it. Mirrored furniture is in right now anyway, and if it'll hold all her stuff (and keep her happy!) let her get it!

[Sunshine]

We have been renovating for 8 months now and I have bought all new furniture as well. I had to run EVERYTHING by Jason. I would spend hours picking out fabrics and he would say yeah or nay....some things I loved and he hated so I would keep shopping and came up with ideas until we were both happy. The process SUCKED, but we are both happy now. Alos, you may mention to her that all those mirrors are going to be a nightmare to keep clean, and will get finger prints like crazy. Good luck! I hope you end up with something you both like.

[Laurie8504]

It sounds like you're retaining a lot of the home control because it's her who's moved in with you. When does it become a shared space? When you're married? I think if you've agreed to live together you're both going to have to make compromises. I'm sure there are things of yours that she finds hideous. If there is truly no room for it, I say talk about it. Otherwise...pick your battles.

[Charles]

I don't disagree about compromising...but I don't feel as she compromised at all. She saw it, liked it, and bought it. So, I'm supposed to be ok with that?

[Laurie8504]

Do you talk to her about everything you buy? If not, I would guess that it's because you see it as 'your' house. Which is fine because it is, but when do you stop making her feel like a guest in your home? I think the question of what to buy should go both ways. If you really can't live with this vanity, then by all means, talk to her about it. But I hope that you would be open to hearing what she has to say about some of your things as well.

[Nishi621]

Hubby and I don't buy anything for the house that the other one HATES. It is our home and we should both be happy with how things look in it.

If you HATE it, then tell her and suggest you go together to pick something out you both like.

[wordpast]

well... I say let her keep. You know the whole pick your battles thing, is this vanity something worth maybe getting into it about? (not saying you guys would, but maybe) Let this one slide. Just make sure she knows in the future you want to be included in the furniture selections.

EDIT: do you hate the whole thing?? Could you guys compromise, maybe paint it another color??

[RowanOak]

Here's another way of looking at it, Charles. Mirrors, in the right place, can be good.

[merika]

Maybe you can make her put it in a place where it's not in your face all the time? That's where I made Mr T put his weight bench, his free weights and some other stuff that's an eyesore.

Now he wants to buy a combination game/foosball/air hockey table for him and DS, and the only place it fits into is the middle of the living room. My argument "You put that in here, and where are the visitors going to sit?" His argument "Well, we don't have many visitors anyway, and we'll have lots of fun!!!"

[Roo]

My take on this is that you have to fight the battles you can win. Is getting into a conflict over this really worth it? In a hundred years will anyone really care what the vanity looked like? Probably not. Living with other people involves compromise.. so what I say is that you need to get out there Charles and buy that foosball table for the living room now too. It's only fair

[chinadoll724]

I don't think it's just about this vanity though (although I think it's really cute). If you hate it, you're going to be resentful having to see it everyday and well, she should have run it by you if it's going to take up that much space. Would she be against returning it and looking together for something you'd both like? Maybe she wouldn't be offended at all and you'd BOTH be happy with the result.

[bee*]

I'm going through this with my boyfriend at the moment. We both like different things so what we've done is just wait until we find something that we both like-it does take longer but at least we're both happy in the end. I would see if you could try and get one that you both like.

[LissiSays]

I think she should have talked about this with you first. Regardless of whether or not it is your apartment, she moved in, you are only dating, not married, etc. That doesn't matter. You two are together. You should both agree on things. Make decisions together. Compromise. You don't like that one. She might not like the one you pick out for her. But it's possible that you can find one that both of you can agree on. This isn't like a frame she bought that you can easily avoid. This is a big chunk of furniture that is difficult to ignore.