[gettinpurseonal]

I am a (nearly) 39 year old single mom of 2. I broke up from a relationship about 6 mos ago - the guy was a total selfish user. Anyway, now I'm moving on, joined eharmony, weeded it down to 2 men. I have known 1 for about 2 months - we'll call him "clever boy" and the other I have known for less than a month ("country boy"). Clever Boy lives a mile away, is extremely intelligent, quick-witted, humorous, a long distance runner, owns his own business in the medical sales industry, and is a dedicated father. We share the same sense of humor and enjoy joking around a lot. Only thing is he talks badly about his ex and he tells me lots of private stuff about her, and he seems quite perfectionist and "know-it-all". However, he is very attentive, considerate, tender, etc. Country Boy is also college educated, a very dedicated father, lives about 40 miles away, loves to hunt, is very simple and doesn't joke around much but is always smiling and in a good mood, very laid-back, casual, sweet, nver talks badly about his ex, VERY affectionate and tender, GREAT kisser... They are both very honest, up-front, considerate men, gentlemen... I am torn about which one I should choose. The reason that it is important is because I have seen them both for a few weeks and it has gotten to the point where if I see one, the other one will be outta there because it is going beyond the friends point. You really can't be "just friends" for an extended length of time I have found. A man can only handle so much rejection if you tell him why, ie, seeing someone else. And hey, I met them on Eharmony so it's no secret we are all looking for a relationship, not just friends. So what should I do!!?!? I went to Clever Boy's house earlier in the week and he made me dinner and we cuddled on the couch all night, then I dated Country Boy last night and we made out and cuddled on the couch all night. I have a date with Clever Boy tonight and Country Boy on New Year's Eve. Clever Boy is not too happy about the fact that I will not be w/him on New Year's and he doesn't know I went out w/Country Boy last night, although I did tell him that I still wanted to meet some other men from Eharmony so I was not ready to commit to him. I am so confused

[SimplyMe]

Hmm it is a very hard choice..

Clever boy is so much closer so seeing each other would be definitely easier. However, he talks bad about his ex which says a lot about his personality. It seems to me that he's financially more wealth off than country boy, so that might be a factor in your decision because you do have kids and he might be able to help out if things get more serious in the future.

Country boy sounds really sweet. He sounds to be more compatible with you, but 40 miles is pretty far. Also, I'm against hunting and killing animals of any kind, but of course that's only me.

Which one do you think is more into you? I mean you did find them on Eharmony, so are they looking for others as well? You don't seem to be looking anymore and is settled between them two, so make sure they're on the same page. Whoever you choose, good luck!

[HauteMama]

I can't comment about the men, not really knowing either, but I can say that with children in the equation I, personally, would have to know either one more than a couple months in order to be intimate with them or introduce them to my kids. It is sad, but one just cannot be too careful, and children certainly don't need a revolving door of men in their lives.

I guess if you feel pressured to be "more than friends" I wouldn't choose either one. I'd focus on my kids until I found someone who understood that and didn't pressure me to be more deeply involved than what I felt comfortable with. If either one were "right" for you, you wouldn't need to ask anyone else.

[keya]

honestly, listing the men's qualities really have nothing to do with how you'll choose. The real question is; who do you look forward to seeing the most? Who do you want to be with every day and night, who do you long for and lust after? If the answer is none, or both, then you simply haven't found the right guy yet and you should keep looking. good luck!

[Nyria]

Hmmm - can't help but notice that you didn't have a bad thing to say about country boy -- but you did have some in the negative colum for clever boy...

[Speedy]

Country Boy by a landslide.

Seems to me no matter what happens, Country Boy will be able to take care of you and the kids. Clever Boy is relying too much on his mouth.

Good luck!

[wordpast]

Based solely on what you wrote: I say Country Boy.

But I agree with HauteMama, when you know you know. So maybe you aren't there with either of them yet (it really hasn't been that long!!). And if that's the case it's, okay to wait. Just be honest with them.

Good luck!

[Zophie]

Originally Posted by keya

honestly, listing the men's qualities really have nothing to do with how you'll choose. The real question is; who do you look forward to seeing the most? Who do you want to be with every day and night, who do you long for and lust after? If the answer is none, or both, then you simply haven't found the right guy yet and you should keep looking. good luck!

I agree 100%

[candace117]

I'd listen to Haute Mama in relation to the children - of course they are very important and you are trying to look out for their interests as well as for your own.

And I will say this: in my experiences growing up, nobody loves like a true Country Boy. And one does not need to wear Wranglers and shit kickers to be a country boy. It is inside one's heart and how they live their lives. It's rather like a knight's code of honor.

[Speedy]

Originally Posted by candace117

I'd listen to Haute Mama in relation to the children - of course they are very important and you are trying to look out for their interests as well as for your own.

And I will say this: in my experiences growing up, nobody loves like a true Country Boy. And one does not need to wear Wranglers and shit kickers to be a country boy. It is inside one's heart and how they live their lives. It's rather like a knight's code of honor.

Thanks Candice, you put into words what I felt about Country Boys in general. The knight's code of honor is a perfect way of explaining it.

It also appears to me that Clever Boy is already a little jealous acting because the OP won't be spending New Years with him. I wonder if he's rushing it a bit?

One other thing you said, about how he tells you all these awful and personal details of his ex... sounds like this is his way, and if you two don't "make it". he'll do the same to you with his next girlfriend. I hate people like that, they cannot see what THEY did wrong, only the other half.

Besides, country music is so romantic!

[compulsivepurse]

Country Boy is a "dedicated father," " always smiling and in a good mood, very laid-back, casual, sweet"

Go with Country Boy.

Honestly, you've got a child, go with the nice guy.

[pisdapisda79]

I say go with the one you have the most fun with & makes you laugh

[lolitablue]

I agree with the comments about not taking it too seriously at this point. Just because you met then on a dating site, it does not mean that you have to get too serious too soon. Treat it as casual dating. Time will always answer your concerns. Maybe you do not need to make a decision right now.

[gr8heart]

I think you know the answer!

It sounds like you lean more towards 'Country Boy', since you pointed out the negative attide Clever Boy has towards his ex.

Is he really over her? I do not remember SO and I talking much or negatively about our ex's...but that was a long time ago.

[missisa07]

I'm a sucker for "nice guys", so I say country boy. Of course, clever boy seems more financially stable so that's also a huge factor, but in terms of personality, it seems you like country boy more.