trust issues

[LV Luvr]

Ok it sounds like there are 2 issues here. 1. You have an insecurity issue...this you will have to try resolve on your own. 2. He's flirting w/other girls....everyone has different limits w/this and you'll have to determine where yours are. You basically only have 3 options.

1. Continue on how you are in the relationship
2. Get help w/your insecurities and continue in the relationship
3. Get help and not continue on in the relationship

You can't change him. He has to want to change himself. But you can do something about you. GL!

[juneping]

it's tough to be in a LDR.

but telling the guy to stop talking to his friend is bit controlling. did you mean your bf txt you every few hours a day just to let you know his whereabouts? nobody likes that...

Quote:

I am very , very insecure. He tells me theres nobody he would rather be with than me, and I believe that but I always think "what if he finds somebody else?" or meets a girl he finds prettier than me.

well, there will always someone prettier than you in your bf's eyes. but he's with you. there's more in a r/s than just a pretty face.

Quote:

Sometimes I think tht he cheats on me because my BF is really good looking and can pretty much get any girl he wants, so I end up wandering about wat he does when Im not around. Especially when sometimes he "disappears". He'll go hours without even sending me a text nd when we're finally able to talk, theres always an excuse as to wat happened.

so he could get a different girl on a daily basis but he chose to be with you.

i think you need to relax. i actually can't tell if your bf is shady or not. but living in fear of being cheated on is very unhealthy. i really think you can be benefit from some counseling sessions.

[karmenzsofia]

Insecurities and trust issues often are lethal in relationships because sooner or later they tend to get in the way. Yet, most people are insecure in one way or another--that's human nature and that's life. So IMO it's a matter of degree and frequency. Whether for this relationship, another one, for work, friendships, family...it would probably help you to face your insecurities (vs. avoiding them) and try to figure out where they stem from and if there's anything you can do about them so that they don't get in your way.

[pinkinthecity]

What does LDR stand for?

ETA: Nevermind. I figured it out after reading some of the comments -- Long Distance Relationship.

[PurseAddict79]

OP, how old are you?

[ilovetoshop2]

Originally Posted by PurseAddict79

OP, how old are you?

I'm 16.

[zoeyjoey]

Quote:

BTW, he also gets very jealous sometimes and don't always let me do what I want

OP, do you allow your boyfriend to dictate what you can and cannot do? I understand you are young, but that doesn't seem like the hallmark of a healthy relationship to me.

[juneping]

Originally Posted by ilovetoshop2

I'm 16.

how old is your bf? is he out of school already? how he's able to move to where you live? where r your parents??

i think both of you have control issues....

[PurseAddict79]

Not to sound rude, OP, but you're soooooo young. This is too much drama for 16yrs old. Maybe it would be better if you found a boy closer to you?

[ilovetoshop2]

I guess I do allow him to dictate wat I can and cannot do, i dont really say anything cause i tend to do the same with him. We're both pretty bossy with each other.

& my BF is 19, so yes he is out of school already. He was supposed to have moved a few months ago, but couldn't because of family problems.

I realize it would be better for me to find someone closer here but I just can't let go of him.

[lvuittonaddict]

Originally Posted by ilovetoshop2

I am very , very insecure. He tells me theres nobody he would rather be with than me, and I believe that but I always think "what if he finds somebody else?" or meets a girl he finds prettier than me. Being in a LDR is really hard for me but Im trying to make it work because my BF says he should be able to move to where I live by the end of the year. (he lives about 10hrs away). BTW, he also gets very jealous sometimes and don't always let me do what I want but he gets over things faster, and doesn't get nearly as jealous as I do.

Okay..... As for the "prettier girls"....I used to ask myself this, in fact when my bf and I had our long talk, I told him that I wondered/feared about this. He said there is always going to be someone prettier or cuter than the person you're with. But are looks worth throwing away what you and your current SO have? most cases- No....I dont worry about that anymore

You're 16, you don't need to have the stress of a LDR. At 16, you should be worrying about finishing high school, SAT's, college apps......

You need to ask yourself where his jealousy comes from....is it from really loving you and feeling protective over you, OR does it stem from what he has done/is doing to you

Originally Posted by PurseAddict79

Not to sound rude, OP, but you're soooooo young. This is too much drama for 16yrs old. Maybe it would be better if you found a boy closer to you?

lol, i thought she was in her 20's.....

[redney]

IMO if there is no trust, there is no relationship. Period.

OP, there are other fish in the sea. Don't get wrapped up in this drama. It and the guy are soooooooo not worth it, trust me.

Best wishes

[devoted7]

^I agree everything redney said

G/L!

[shy*violet]

I think if you really want to make it work you need to find out where your lack of trust/jealousy is coming from. I don't think that's something you can do on your own.

A LDR is NEVER going to make it if you keep acting this way, b/c I'm pretty sure your bf will go nutty if you keep up the trust/jealousy behavior.

[gacats]

OP, you're young and I want to tell you this because I think it's true.
If you're lucky in life, you will get your heart broken 5 times and you will break 5 hearts. And this is because it happens as you're growing up and gaining experience in life, so that by the time the ONE comes along, you will recognize him and you will have learned what a healthy relationship is.
Having said this, I know this is NOT what you were hoping to hear from anyone.
But 7+ years from now, remember that some random stranger said this to you.
You may find that you will say this to someone else someday.
Best of luck to you!