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lookingforlove · Nov 1st, 2009, 02:54 PM

I wonder how many of you are feeling like me right now. I'm so tired of the dating scene. All the mind games/dating rules that we're supposed to follow. Guys running hot and cold, guys with commitment issues, guys not calling you back..etc.. I'm ready to just throw in the towel and be by myself for awhile. It actually annoys me when guys flirt with me. I've quite a few friends who are going through separations/divorces right now so I know that even people in relationships are having a hard time. Are any of you single girls burned out from dating, wasting your time with Mr. Wrong? Are any of you married girls/in relationships where you actually prefer being single? Sometimes dating/relationships can be so overwhelming!

twinkle.tink · Nov 1st, 2009, 04:16 PM

Well, sometimes the fastest way to find something is to stop looking.

This was years ago......
When I separated and filed for divorce from my ex, I wanted nothing serious. I was pretty sure I didn't ever want to get married again. I would go out in group settings, work stuff, friends' parties, etc...I tell you for some reason, it seemed I couldn't shake guys off with a stick. Once in awhile, if I really liked a guy, I would agree to a date or 2, with the understanding I wasn't looking for anything serious. Honestly, I think those most be magic words because in 2 years, I stopped seeing 4 guys (including 2 who proposed) because they wanted more than I could give. I was in that 'mode' when I met my DH...the difference was I 'knew' by our 3rd date he was 'the one'. I kept the same casual attitude and by 6 months he proposed and 7 months later we were married. In eleven days, we will have been married 17 years :)

maybeiloveyou · Nov 1st, 2009, 04:22 PM

Originally Posted by lookingforlove

Are any of you single girls burned out from dating, wasting your time with Mr. Wrong?

Absolutely! I've decided to take some "me" time, just enjoy myself and the single life. I'm very close to my friends, so aside from some of the more physical stuff

that I would gain in a relationship, I'm pretty happy by myself lol.

happygal09 · Nov 1st, 2009, 04:30 PM

I broke up with my boy friend and it has been a year since I've dated. During this time, I found out more about myself. It's been a difficult journey, but I've learned to be comfortable being single. Sometimes when you want something too much, it can't happen. I'm also afraid of getting hurt again. However, as time passed by, I've learned that you can forget.

Hang in there and just be yourself.

Kansashalo · Nov 1st, 2009, 07:04 PM

Originally Posted by lookingforlove

I wonder how many of you are feeling like me right now. I'm so tired of the dating scene. All the mind games/dating rules that we're supposed to follow. Guys running hot and cold, guys with commitment issues, guys not calling you back..etc.. I'm ready to just throw in the towel and be by myself for awhile. It actually annoys me when guys flirt with me. I've quite a few friends who are going through separations/divorces right now so I know that even people in relationships are having a hard time. Are any of you single girls burned out from dating, wasting your time with Mr. Wrong? Are any of you married girls/in relationships where you actually prefer being single? Sometimes dating/relationships can be so overwhelming!

As long as you don't separate yourself from the social world

I don't think there is anything wrong with taking a "break". Sometimes, it does get exhausting to meet one flake after another one. Nothing wrong with taking some time to recharge your batteries.

amanda · Nov 1st, 2009, 07:11 PM

There's nothing wrong with being single. I've been nominally single for two and a half years, after breaking up with my last serious boyfriend because he wanted to move in the direction of marriage and I knew that he wasn't the one and that I was nowhere near ready, even if he HAD been the one. I've dated plenty since then, met a lot of nice guys and more than a few that wanted more than I was willing to give after a few dates, but it's important to stand up for what you think is right for yourself in situations like that. I've met one guy in that time period with which I would have considered being exclusive, and he moved out of state pretty early on in the getting-to-know-you phase, so it never came anywhere near that.

Mostly, the thought of being in a relationship and giving that much time to another person kind of turns my stomach at this point. I'm about to turn 24, and in my mind, that is so incredibly young to be worried about serious relationships and marriage prospects and all of those things. Everyone only gets one opportunity to be young and single, and it seems silly to waste it unless I've found someone that I positively cannot live without, and I haven't.

As a result, the female friendships that I have now are the best that I've had in my life. I used to be one of those people that didn't really have any girlfriends, and it was because I was too preoccupied with whoever I was dating. Well, problem solved on that front. I have a friend that often says that this time in our lives isn't about finding a husband, it's about finding our bridesmaids, and I think that sums it up nicely.

But my parents got married in their late 20s/early 30s, much later than most people in that era were getting married, and they don't pressure me at all. Most of my friends are single, although some of the ones in their late 20s/early 30s have settled into relationships in the past year or so (but none of my close friends are married). So if you don't feel like dating or being serious with someone, don't. Do what you feel is right for you.

lookingforlove · Nov 1st, 2009, 07:46 PM

I'm so frustrated with men right now! lol I posted on the Singles Community thread about a doctor I recently met (over a week ago). He was in town for a medical convention and we met at a bar downtown. We hit it off right away, but he left 2 days later. He's doing his residency in Virginia and I'm in Texas. We continued to stay in touch mostly through texts. He seemed kind of hot and cold, and I just can't deal with that. He called me once and we talked for 3 hours on the phone, then he even texted the next morning to say have a good day. But sometimes I would text him and he wouldn't respond. If he's really into me, he could at least respond to a text, it only takes seconds to do that. I'd rather get a text everyday, than a 3 hour phone call then nothing for days. I feel like he's lukewarm about me, and I'm an all or nothing kind of girl. I work hard, play hard, and love hard. I'm thinking that if he doesn't contact in 3 days, I'm just going to end the whole thing. Then I'm going to swear off men for awhile lol

juneping · Nov 1st, 2009, 07:52 PM

^^i remember your story....don't feel too frustrated about men. i think most men just want to have a good time.
if it's mixed signals...may be just keep him as an option to you..never put him as your priority (as someone else mentioned this brilliant line in tPF)...when the right person shows up....he'll never give you the mixed signals.

spoiled_brat · Nov 1st, 2009, 08:31 PM

Originally Posted by juneping

when the right person shows up....he'll never give you the mixed signals.

That's what I think, too.

bernz84 · Nov 1st, 2009, 09:07 PM

Count me in...I ended a relationship several months ago with a guy who treated me very poorly and chose another woman over me. I've since dated 3 other guys and flirted with a few, and although I was really interested in the last person I dated, he just wasn't that into me and stopped calling (LOL...okay, granted, it sucked BIG time, but now that I think about it, it's kinda funny). I think now I am more focused with moving and finishing up school...I'm still leaving the door open, but I'm really tired of trying for men and doing all the work. I'm not gonna bother putting effort, anymore!

flashy.stems · Nov 2nd, 2009, 01:05 AM

i agree. i hate dating or anything remotely "single" lol. i'm all about the long-term lovey dovey stuff..

karmenzsofia · Nov 2nd, 2009, 01:07 AM

Have you visited the Single's Community thread? Lots of people feel like you do.

Single's Community

Nov 1st, 2009, 02:54 PM	#1
lookingforlove OP Member Joined: Aug 2009 Posts: 14	Tired of Dating/Relationships? I wonder how many of you are feeling like me right now. I'm so tired of the dating scene. All the mind games/dating rules that we're supposed to follow. Guys running hot and cold, guys with commitment issues, guys not calling you back..etc.. I'm ready to just throw in the towel and be by myself for awhile. It actually annoys me when guys flirt with me. I've quite a few friends who are going through separations/divorces right now so I know that even people in relationships are having a hard time. Are any of you single girls burned out from dating, wasting your time with Mr. Wrong? Are any of you married girls/in relationships where you actually prefer being single? Sometimes dating/relationships can be so overwhelming!
lookingforlove OP Member Joined: Aug 2009 Posts: 14

Nov 1st, 2009, 04:16 PM	#2
twinkle.tink Choose to be happy Joined: Sep 2006 Location: Taking a nap Posts: 16,063	Well, sometimes the fastest way to find something is to stop looking. This was years ago...... When I separated and filed for divorce from my ex, I wanted nothing serious. I was pretty sure I didn't ever want to get married again. I would go out in group settings, work stuff, friends' parties, etc...I tell you for some reason, it seemed I couldn't shake guys off with a stick. Once in awhile, if I really liked a guy, I would agree to a date or 2, with the understanding I wasn't looking for anything serious. Honestly, I think those most be magic words because in 2 years, I stopped seeing 4 guys (including 2 who proposed) because they wanted more than I could give. I was in that 'mode' when I met my DH...the difference was I 'knew' by our 3rd date he was 'the one'. I kept the same casual attitude and by 6 months he proposed and 7 months later we were married. In eleven days, we will have been married 17 years :)
	__________________ My song for this week: It's the most wonderful time of the year

Nov 1st, 2009, 04:30 PM	#4
happygal09 Member Joined: Nov 2009 Posts: 7	I broke up with my boy friend and it has been a year since I've dated. During this time, I found out more about myself. It's been a difficult journey, but I've learned to be comfortable being single. Sometimes when you want something too much, it can't happen. I'm also afraid of getting hurt again. However, as time passed by, I've learned that you can forget. Hang in there and just be yourself.
happygal09 Member Joined: Nov 2009 Posts: 7

Nov 1st, 2009, 07:11 PM	#6
amanda RIP Uga VII Joined: Oct 2005 Location: Athens, GA Posts: 11,734	There's nothing wrong with being single. I've been nominally single for two and a half years, after breaking up with my last serious boyfriend because he wanted to move in the direction of marriage and I knew that he wasn't the one and that I was nowhere near ready, even if he HAD been the one. I've dated plenty since then, met a lot of nice guys and more than a few that wanted more than I was willing to give after a few dates, but it's important to stand up for what you think is right for yourself in situations like that. I've met one guy in that time period with which I would have considered being exclusive, and he moved out of state pretty early on in the getting-to-know-you phase, so it never came anywhere near that. Mostly, the thought of being in a relationship and giving that much time to another person kind of turns my stomach at this point. I'm about to turn 24, and in my mind, that is so incredibly young to be worried about serious relationships and marriage prospects and all of those things. Everyone only gets one opportunity to be young and single, and it seems silly to waste it unless I've found someone that I positively cannot live without, and I haven't. As a result, the female friendships that I have now are the best that I've had in my life. I used to be one of those people that didn't really have any girlfriends, and it was because I was too preoccupied with whoever I was dating. Well, problem solved on that front. I have a friend that often says that this time in our lives isn't about finding a husband, it's about finding our bridesmaids, and I think that sums it up nicely. But my parents got married in their late 20s/early 30s, much later than most people in that era were getting married, and they don't pressure me at all. Most of my friends are single, although some of the ones in their late 20s/early 30s have settled into relationships in the past year or so (but none of my close friends are married). So if you don't feel like dating or being serious with someone, don't. Do what you feel is right for you.
	__________________ PROUD TO BE A UNIVERSITY OF GEORGIA BULLDOG! Follow me on Twitter

Nov 1st, 2009, 07:46 PM	#7
lookingforlove OP Member Joined: Aug 2009 Posts: 14	I'm so frustrated with men right now! lol I posted on the Singles Community thread about a doctor I recently met (over a week ago). He was in town for a medical convention and we met at a bar downtown. We hit it off right away, but he left 2 days later. He's doing his residency in Virginia and I'm in Texas. We continued to stay in touch mostly through texts. He seemed kind of hot and cold, and I just can't deal with that. He called me once and we talked for 3 hours on the phone, then he even texted the next morning to say have a good day. But sometimes I would text him and he wouldn't respond. If he's really into me, he could at least respond to a text, it only takes seconds to do that. I'd rather get a text everyday, than a 3 hour phone call then nothing for days. I feel like he's lukewarm about me, and I'm an all or nothing kind of girl. I work hard, play hard, and love hard. I'm thinking that if he doesn't contact in 3 days, I'm just going to end the whole thing. Then I'm going to swear off men for awhile lol
lookingforlove OP Member Joined: Aug 2009 Posts: 14

Nov 1st, 2009, 07:52 PM	#8
juneping couch potato-ing Joined: Jun 2007 Location: NYC Posts: 4,327	^^i remember your story....don't feel too frustrated about men. i think most men just want to have a good time. if it's mixed signals...may be just keep him as an option to you..never put him as your priority (as someone else mentioned this brilliant line in tPF)...when the right person shows up....he'll never give you the mixed signals.
	__________________ wish list: purse ban until the cc is paid off $10200 paid off...$3300 to go .....oh..i can't wait...

Nov 1st, 2009, 09:07 PM	#10
bernz84 cute! Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 4,687	Count me in...I ended a relationship several months ago with a guy who treated me very poorly and chose another woman over me. I've since dated 3 other guys and flirted with a few, and although I was really interested in the last person I dated, he just wasn't that into me and stopped calling (LOL...okay, granted, it sucked BIG time, but now that I think about it, it's kinda funny). I think now I am more focused with moving and finishing up school...I'm still leaving the door open, but I'm really tired of trying for men and doing all the work. I'm not gonna bother putting effort, anymore!
bernz84 cute! Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 4,687

Nov 2nd, 2009, 01:05 AM	#11
flashy.stems Hermès Hottie Joined: Jun 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 2,010	i agree. i hate dating or anything remotely "single" lol. i'm all about the long-term lovey dovey stuff..
	__________________ “I’m the worst wife in the cooking department. I always thought you can’t be good at food and sex, but you can always order the food in. I’d rather he didn’t order in the sex.” "You can never be too rich, too thin, or have too many handbags." UHG!!! CL Black Mad Mary 37

Nov 2nd, 2009, 01:07 AM	#12
karmenzsofia Life is Plan Z Joined: Jun 2008 Location: Tarot Card Posts: 14,888	Have you visited the Single's Community thread? Lots of people feel like you do. Single's Community
	__________________ Satisfied but wishing 4 a WTM Mini and an AP ~~* Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it necessary? Is it kind? Or, more importantly, is it funny?

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