thinking of writing to my ex/g your thoughts please

mrblond · Sep 30th, 2008, 05:05 PM

Me and my ex split up over 2 months ago, been together just over 2yrs, i am 35 she is 28. She split with me, to keep it short; on the whole we had a great relationship, but during our time for some reason i started not to be able to perform in bed, as time went on this became worse, i became scared, insecure etc and buried my head in the sand rather than dealing with it + i bottled things up, this in turn made things worse, the effection etc, also i didnt talk to my lady about it and my general feelings etc, it effected us of course. In the end her love for me was not enough, she felt alone, unwanted and came to a point that she couldnt continue with the relationship.

We ended good term, but very emotional, occasional email /text from her, but no face to face contact. At the time of the split yes i did the usual panic letter asking for her back, saying what i think of her, i will do anything etc. But i never at the time said sorry properly for the important things + take responsibility for my part. Time has gone on and allowed me to reflect and i can see that she tried talking to me, i hurt her lots due to my actions and not opening up to her and i feel i should write to her saying i am sorry, explaining how i was feeling at the time, this may help her to understand too, because she did feel alone at the end, she may have been feeling was it something wrong with her etc

Your thoughts please,

ilovepinkhearts · Sep 30th, 2008, 08:18 PM

she may want to hear from you, just to have some closure. so you may want to drop her a line. just be sure that you don't have any other expectations...

dallas · Sep 30th, 2008, 08:28 PM

I have questions: Are you hoping to resume the relationship by writing this letter? Is she happy now? Are you doing this for her or for yourself?

candypants1100 · Oct 1st, 2008, 09:19 PM

i think writing would be a nice thing....

Lululapell · Oct 2nd, 2008, 12:58 AM

I would write her a letter and let her know how you feel. And then the ball is in her court...

dallas · Oct 2nd, 2008, 01:22 AM

I wonder if the mrblond will return?

Bella · Oct 2nd, 2008, 02:58 AM

Maybe she will... oh, I mean, maybe he will???

Is it too early for meatballs?

amber11 · Oct 2nd, 2008, 03:38 AM

i think thats a good idea, make sure to really take responsibility though and convey that your ready to really work at it and make it up to her and if she is interested she'll contact you back, i mean what have you got to lose?

lolitakali · Oct 2nd, 2008, 06:23 PM

I'd just do what I want to do if I were you... life is way too short to be "pondering" on whether or not. Write, get it out of your system. If it goes well, then it is meant to be... if not, hey you did it (so you would not be regretting not doing it).

mrblond · Oct 5th, 2008, 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dallas

I have questions: Are you hoping to resume the relationship by writing this letter? Is she happy now? Are you doing this for her or for yourself?

Hello, Sorry for delay getting back. No i am not hoping to resume, i know we have had our day, is she happy? well she ended up being unhappy in our relationship, i can only assume that she is happier now.

I am doing this for me so I can move on. But also, it helps her to hear it so they can heal if she was emotionally hurt by the relationship, which i beleive she was.

I think to many people damage relationships or neglect relationships and move on as if these things were old clothes to cast away. The victims are left to carry the baggage throughout their lives. It affects not only them but all the people they form relationships with. Yes, the past is the past but for some people, it is still as real as if it were today. They carry the pain and insecurities with them wherever they go. So it bothers me to hear people say "Oh, just let it go. It is in the past!"

Amberini · Oct 5th, 2008, 05:46 PM

I know what you mean by needing closure, and she probably wants the same, it's difficult for girls to move on too!

If you write this letter (which is a lovely idea) state your intentions, make sure she knows that you don't intend on getting back with her (obvs be more tactful than that). There's nothing worse than being confused.

I hope it goes well for you, I wish you were my other half, you sound lovely!! Even though you had your problems, you're still willing to make sure your ex is happy and you respect her.

GL

dallas · Oct 5th, 2008, 08:43 PM

If you have no hidden agenda (wanting to lay blame, trying to win her back, etc.), I think that you should go ahead and write the letter. Good luck, I hope you find some closure.

mrblond · Oct 6th, 2008, 08:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amberini

I know what you mean by needing closure, and she probably wants the same, it's difficult for girls to move on too!

you're still willing to make sure your ex is happy and you respect her.

GL

Thank you, yes i do respect her and this is the letter i am thinking of writing; what do you think ?

I know its been a while, i wanted to take this opportunity to say sorry properly which you deserve, for the important things and take responsibility for the part i played in our break up.
I have come to terms with our relationship being over and i realise how much hurt my actions must have caused you. My lack of focus on what was actually going on caused me to treat the issues the way I did. I buried my head in the sand rather than face up to the problem I had and I wouldn't admit the effect it was having in us and worst of all i tried to ignore it instead of sorting it out. As time passed I became more scared and vulnerable within and this made the problem worse and I am sorry for letting this come into our relationship.

This, I know effected our closeness over time and wrongly i bottled my feelings up when I should have been becoming closer and sharing my feelings and thoughts with you, I feel I left you alone to fend for yourself emotionally.

I sincerely thank you for your kindness, patience and love during those times when I am sure I appeared to be indifferent and was difficult to be around, you didn't deserve it and I am truly sorry for the way I handled things. I've had to learn the hard way about the mistakes i made, but i will learn from them and i am working on improving myself. While I completely respect your need for distance, I want you to know that I will be here if you ever need a friend.

Wishing you happiness wherever your future path now takes you.

Love *********"

envyme · Oct 6th, 2008, 11:21 AM

Good letter!

ilovepinkhearts · Oct 6th, 2008, 01:25 PM

that is very nice. i hope it helps the both of you. :]]

Sep 30th, 2008, 05:05 PM	#1
mrblond Member	thinking of writing to my ex/g your thoughts please Me and my ex split up over 2 months ago, been together just over 2yrs, i am 35 she is 28. She split with me, to keep it short; on the whole we had a great relationship, but during our time for some reason i started not to be able to perform in bed, as time went on this became worse, i became scared, insecure etc and buried my head in the sand rather than dealing with it + i bottled things up, this in turn made things worse, the effection etc, also i didnt talk to my lady about it and my general feelings etc, it effected us of course. In the end her love for me was not enough, she felt alone, unwanted and came to a point that she couldnt continue with the relationship. We ended good term, but very emotional, occasional email /text from her, but no face to face contact. At the time of the split yes i did the usual panic letter asking for her back, saying what i think of her, i will do anything etc. But i never at the time said sorry properly for the important things + take responsibility for my part. Time has gone on and allowed me to reflect and i can see that she tried talking to me, i hurt her lots due to my actions and not opening up to her and i feel i should write to her saying i am sorry, explaining how i was feeling at the time, this may help her to understand too, because she did feel alone at the end, she may have been feeling was it something wrong with her etc Your thoughts please,

Sep 30th, 2008, 08:18 PM	#2
ilovepinkhearts hi, i'm danielle Location: Texas	she may want to hear from you, just to have some closure. so you may want to drop her a line. just be sure that you don't have any other expectations... __________________

Sep 30th, 2008, 08:28 PM	#3
dallas Ya anno	I have questions: Are you hoping to resume the relationship by writing this letter? Is she happy now? Are you doing this for her or for yourself? __________________

Oct 2nd, 2008, 12:58 AM	#5
Lululapell Member Location: Utopia	I would write her a letter and let her know how you feel. And then the ball is in her court... __________________ BANNED and Currently Coveting: RM Nikki in kelly green (ORDERED!) 06 Chanel Bleu Fonce Lambskin Bal Sapphire Day Bal Sanguine Pom Bal Mandarin First Chanel Large Brown Tote (BOUGHT 11/2/08) Bal Sahara Step (BOUGHT 10/21/08)

Oct 2nd, 2008, 01:22 AM	#6
dallas Ya anno	I wonder if the mrblond will return? __________________

Oct 1st, 2008, 09:19 PM	#4
candypants1100 Member Location: candyland	i think writing would be a nice thing....

Oct 2nd, 2008, 02:58 AM	#7
Bella just Bella	Maybe she will... oh, I mean, maybe he will??? Is it too early for meatballs? __________________

Oct 2nd, 2008, 03:38 AM	#8
amber11 Member	i think thats a good idea, make sure to really take responsibility though and convey that your ready to really work at it and make it up to her and if she is interested she'll contact you back, i mean what have you got to lose?

Oct 2nd, 2008, 06:23 PM	#9
lolitakali Mira Location: Maryland	I'd just do what I want to do if I were you... life is way too short to be "pondering" on whether or not. Write, get it out of your system. If it goes well, then it is meant to be... if not, hey you did it (so you would not be regretting not doing it). __________________ *Best way to diet is to eat what you hate, not eat what you love.* *$$$$$ / GOLD = "my precious".* -ME to be a dragon hoarding gold-

Oct 5th, 2008, 05:46 PM	#11
Amberini Amberini Bellini Location: UK	I know what you mean by needing closure, and she probably wants the same, it's difficult for girls to move on too! If you write this letter (which is a lovely idea) state your intentions, make sure she knows that you don't intend on getting back with her (obvs be more tactful than that). There's nothing worse than being confused. I hope it goes well for you, I wish you were my other half, you sound lovely!! Even though you had your problems, you're still willing to make sure your ex is happy and you respect her. GL __________________ Well, at least he's taking care of things...

Oct 5th, 2008, 08:43 PM	#12
dallas Ya anno	If you have no hidden agenda (wanting to lay blame, trying to win her back, etc.), I think that you should go ahead and write the letter. Good luck, I hope you find some closure. __________________

Oct 6th, 2008, 11:21 AM	#14
envyme God's Creation Location: I'm A Brain In A Jar	Good letter! __________________ Quotes From Yoda: *- Anger, fear, aggression... the dark side are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny.* *- Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.* I am on a SERIOUS

Oct 6th, 2008, 01:25 PM	#15
ilovepinkhearts hi, i'm danielle Location: Texas	that is very nice. i hope it helps the both of you. :]] __________________