[Jahpson]

We have been going strong, already told each other we love [actually crazy for] each other and marriage is definitely in the future.

The relationship is very perfect and I don't want him to change for anything.

However, there is the little situation with the drawer in his bedroom that holds all the "memories" of his ex. In the beginning, I didn't mind that because I'm sure it was painful. He even showed the photos and cards to me once.

Now the sympathies are out the window. I want all those "memories" of her out of his drawer. Unfortunately this situation has caused light arguments. I keep asking him what the hell is he saving all that for?

He told me that he never goes in that drawer, its just there. He also assures me the hell that he went through with that girl and if given the chance he would never want her back. He tells me he loves me and adores me..fine!

but I can't help when im over his house that drawer sticks out like a sore thumb.

We both know that this is a serious relationship, and we both aren't going anywhere and our past...is our past. But why must he keep that "Drawer"?

He promised me that he would dump everything out, but has yet to do it.

I spoke to him last night about the situation, and he told me its in the works, but I know that he didn't even get started.

Am I being unreasonable?

[~Fabulousity~]

I don't think your being unreasonable at all! That would bother me also, he really should box those things or better yet trash them! Maybe you should help him, LOL!

[Sass]

No not at all. Did he give a reason why he still has it if it is so painful too him. I know where you are coming from tho, you don't want to nag, but you want it gone for good@!

[Jahpson]

^^ he says that he is over her and the drawer means nothing.

I just dont feel comfortable with the fact that "she" is within reach. If you know what I mean.

I think when I go over next time, im going to bring my shredder.

Plus, its like he is not taking this seriously. He keeps "putting it off" and its making me mad.

Maybe I should dig up old photos of my ex (if there are any cause I chucked everything when we broke up) and put them in a "drawer"

[eviemarie]

I totally know what you mean.
i think you are being really calm about this i would of flipped by now.

What exactly does he want to keep them in his drawer for? I would tell him if he can't throw them away then you will. Why don't you ask him how he would feel if you had photo's of your ex?

x

[twochubbycheeks]

is this just his 1 ex? or stuffs from his past ex's (meaning more than 1). I was like this before.. keeping some memorable stuff from my ex's... but when I met my then bf (now my dh), when we were getting REALLY serious in our relationship.. he told me to get rid of everything and i told him the same. SO.. I got rid of everything.. even jewelries that were given to me.. re the stuffs he kept from his ex and other girls he met before me.. he told me to get rid of it-- so I did. YUP! I was the one who threw away all those shtuff.

Past is past.. so all of those must be pushed down the drain, so to speak.

I guess your SO is still having a hard time of letting go of this ex (sorry...). I mean, yeah he loves you.. but there are some situations wherein a guy (or a girl, whichever the case may be) they still keep something(s) that their ex gave them-- just because. It sucks, big time if that's the case. I hope if ever you guys end up getting engaged or married that he'd THROW EVERYTHING that he's been keeping from his past relationship(s).

[kbell]

I've been wth my husb for 10 years. I still have a box stowed away of old cards etc from Xs - lol. Husband has never asked me to get rid of them - not even sure why
I still have that box - sometimes it's just hard to get rid of things. I haven't even looked in there for years and years and pretty much loathe my Xs so I should probably throw them out......yet I don't, why is that? I don't even know.

[Jahpson]

Originally Posted by twochubbycheeks

is this just his 1 ex? or stuffs from his past ex's (meaning more than 1). I was like this before.. keeping some memorable stuff from my ex's... but when I met my then bf (now my dh), when we were getting REALLY serious in our relationship.. he told me to get rid of everything and i told him the same. SO.. I got rid of everything.. even jewelries that were given to me.. re the stuffs he kept from his ex and other girls he met before me.. he told me to get rid of it-- so I did. YUP! I was the one who threw away all those shtuff.

Past is past.. so all of those must be pushed down the drain, so to speak.

I guess your SO is still having a hard time of letting go of this ex (sorry...). I mean, yeah he loves you.. but there are some situations wherein a guy (or a girl, whichever the case may be) they still keep something(s) that their ex gave them-- just because. It sucks, big time if that's the case. I hope if ever you guys end up getting engaged or married that he'd THROW EVERYTHING that he's been keeping from his past relationship(s).

oh hell no!! you darn right its just one ex!! LMAO

I really hope that he doesn't keep that drawer around because he is having a hard time getting rid of his ex.

[LadyLinda]

Maybe he would be willing to compromise and put them in a box, then on a high shelf in a closet somewhere? Not get rid of them, but put them away. It's a symbolic thing, but important, I think, to your relationship.

My husband has a box I never touch, never open. It holds pictures of his ex-girlfriends, I know, and he's entitled to have those memories. I have a photo album with wedding pictures from my first marriage buried deep in my file cabinet. He doesn't want to see them and never has (I look very happy with that man I married), he knows they exist, but they're not somewhere he or family members might stumble across them.

A drawer is simply too accessible, too open and available. A box can be kept out of the way.

[Charles]

Originally Posted by Jahpson

We have been going strong, already told each other we love [actually crazy for] each other and marriage is definitely in the future.

The relationship is very perfect and I don't want him to change for anything.

However, there is the little situation with the drawer in his bedroom that holds all the "memories" of his ex. In the beginning, I didn't mind that because I'm sure it was painful. He even showed the photos and cards to me once.

Now the sympathies are out the window. I want all those "memories" of her out of his drawer. Unfortunately this situation has caused light arguments. I keep asking him what the hell is he saving all that for?

He told me that he never goes in that drawer, its just there. He also assures me the hell that he went through with that girl and if given the chance he would never want her back. He tells me he loves me and adores me..fine!

but I can't help when im over his house that drawer sticks out like a sore thumb.

We both know that this is a serious relationship, and we both aren't going anywhere and our past...is our past. But why must he keep that "Drawer"?

He promised me that he would dump everything out, but has yet to do it.

I spoke to him last night about the situation, and he told me its in the works, but I know that he didn't even get started.

Am I being unreasonable?

I have stuff from exes. Old notes, cards, pics, and I most certainly will NOT throw that stuff away. Kara's asked me and I said no. Those things are part of my past, and I like to read through them sometimes and think about good times. Just cause Kara's in my life doesn't mean I have to pretend that I didn't have a life before her, and the people I once cared about are part of that past. I refuse to throw away my past. If she doesn't like it, she can leave. :)

Would you expect him to throw pics away of other people he's had emotional connections with? That old college buddy who's moved away and only contacts him once a year? I doubt you'd care about that, so why is this stuff really that different? Now, if he's looking at the pics on a regular basis...different story, but to go through things and reminisce once every couple of years, who cares?

[enshogirl]

You are taking this really calm.

My SO had gifts and pictures like that of his old ex. I threw them away without telling him. He hasn't noticed yet and it's been over 3 years.

I don't suggest you doing that though. Maybe you should help him get rid of the stuff? You could do it together.

[Jahpson]

Originally Posted by enshogirl

You are taking this really calm.

My SO had gifts and pictures like that of his old ex. I threw them away without telling him. He hasn't noticed yet and it's been over 3 years.

I don't suggest you doing that though. Maybe you should help him get rid of the stuff? You could do it together.

its different over the computer screen. Im really pissed.


here is what im going to do, hopefully find some old stuff that is related to my ex (presents etc) then im going to put them in a box and put it under my bed. then if he asks about it, Ill show them to him. In fact, how about this?

scan a reallly old photo of my ex and me and put it as the wallpaper of my desktop of my computer. Lets hear him complain then.

because having an old photo of an ex on my computer and having that draw full of pictures and freaking memories of that tramp is the same thing in my opinion. call it childish, thats how i feel

[Jahpson]

Originally Posted by Charles

I have stuff from exes. Old notes, cards, pics, and I most certainly will NOT throw that stuff away. Kara's asked me and I said no. Those things are part of my past, and I like to read through them sometimes and think about good times. Just cause Kara's in my life doesn't mean I have to pretend that I didn't have a life before her, and the people I once cared about are part of that past. I refuse to throw away my past. If she doesn't like it, she can leave. :)

Would you expect him to throw pics away of other people he's had emotional connections with? That old college buddy who's moved away and only contacts him once a year? I doubt you'd care about that, so why is this stuff really that different? Now, if he's looking at the pics on a regular basis...different story, but to go through things and reminisce once every couple of years, who cares?

because he was in a relationship with that girl!! like looked into her eyes with care, fooped her, took her out. All the things he done with me!!

what is the point of keeping it around if he is not thinking of the girl?

so if "accidentally" your girlfriend happened to burn and shred the photos and what not, would you get mad? why?

[kbell]

Forgot to mention, prior to us living together all that X stuff was in the top drawer
of a desk in my room. My husb never made a big deal of it - or even inquired about it. I actually don't think he went through my desk drawers at all to know what was there - he had no reason to be in there.

And if I had ever come home back then to find those things missing or shredded I would have been beyond PO.... I would not go that route.

[eviemarie]

[quote=Jahpson;6751607]its different over the computer screen. Im really pissed.


here is what im going to do, hopefully find some old stuff that is related to my ex (presents etc) then im going to put them in a box and put it under my bed. then if he asks about it, Ill show them to him. In fact, how about this?

scan a reallly old photo of my ex and me and put it as the wallpaper of my desktop of my computer. Lets hear him complain then.

because having an old photo of an ex on my computer and having that draw full of pictures and freaking memories of that tramp is the same thing in my opinion. call it childish, thats how i feel[/quote

Sounds like a plan to me!!

See how he likes it. I think it will make him understand how you feel. I remember finding my DH's ex girlfriends passport when we had been together about 2 years. i felt sick it really not a nice feeling.