step mother? step sister? i am getting confuse..

ChloeSS · Dec 27th, 2007, 03:22 PM

Long story.. make it short.

my mother died last yr due to illness and around 3 month ago my dad started to seeing another lady called M.

M do have a 12 yr old daughter and she broke up with her last relationship a while ago.. At the started, I just couldnt accept it that they are holding hand in front of me and acted like sweet teenager...

I had a nice talk with my dad and discussed a few things and I decided I will try to accept it as my dad needs a partner for the rest of his life and from what he told me seems that M lady is not a bad lady, at least she works hard and earn money for living..

Then.. I found out they are actually going to us with me. from the start, it was ok.. but overtime. i started to suspect... that M lady is trying to ask my dad to buy her all the expensive things.. She doesnt looks like someone used to use like LV, Gucci , Dior a lot.. but my dad bought her a LV bag recently. And she is asking for another LV bag for weekend and a LV wallet. also cartier and dior watch..

I found it is a bit insane for a 3 month relationship ( or 6 month). my dad's personality has been changed a lot! my dad hates brand name.. and only bought my mum a LV wallet and 1 LV bag so far for last 20 yrs and my mum has to pick one under $xxxx . and now.. my dad just paid for the trip , paid for every single thing they bought or they ate.

keep visiting gucci, LV, Dior with her... I am worry! but i know i am not in the position to tell my dad how i feel... I cannot believe how a new woman can change so much on a man's life. my dad used to be the king and just sitting and wait for my mum to serve him but now he came the person who run around and serve that woman like a queen.

and the worse part is.... the daughter. i became a baby-sitter.. I am living with the daughter "A". "A" is kind of unsecured gal that feels scare of belong alone, go to public toilet alone, scare of dark etc... and she is keep holding my hand or hugging me while we are shopping and it bothers me! cos i am an adult, i need to private time and i dont like to be a baby sitter.

then... today I suppose to go to meet my friend for an evening dinner.. and my dad booked the ticket for a shows to go with her mother.. A was crying and upset.. and scare to be alone. my dad told me to take her with me for my dinner. I told them i cannot ( because i am not her sister). and ended up they might need to cancel the ticket to the show. and they both upset. and the young gal keep screaming at me in the pubic and tell ppl i dont care about her and leaving her alone.

Then.. at sleep time, I am living at Vegas. so of course I would love to visit the casino for fun. I told her I will stay with her till she slept , then I will go out .. so she wont be feeling lonely. She immediately called my dad and her mum and said " sister is going away for casino i am scare" and ended up my dad came over to tell me off and said " I dont want to talk to u anymore on that, try u r best to make my life as difficult as you can"

I am shocked! is this my responsibility to take care of her?? and is it too much for me to ask for 2 nights of private time?? I've been baby sitting her for last 5 days non-stop . I met some cool guy on my tour and i dont even have chance to talk to them cos she is hanging with my all the time and talk about silly things ..

i need some help

and my dad is going to marry that woman

merika · Dec 27th, 2007, 03:32 PM

How old are you? Is it possible for you to move out and live independently?

kbell · Dec 27th, 2007, 03:35 PM

Did they ask you to babysit? How old is the daughter?

I would not babysit on my vacation unless I was asked nicely to & it certainly wouldn't be most of the time. It's her daughter not yours. Let her pay for a babysitter if she can't see fit to watch her own child. You're right - it isn't your responsibility IMO.

Maryanne007 · Dec 27th, 2007, 03:38 PM

you need to speak up, not to your dad but to the woman, and tell her to take of her daughter! this is an awful situation they have put you in. tell your father you are still upset by your mother's passing, and it is unfair for him to spring this new relationship on you and give you responsibilities you never asked for nor are obliged to accept. how old are you? if you are an adult, you are old enough to walk away and live your own life.

lolitakali · Dec 27th, 2007, 03:41 PM

Tell your Dad to get a pre-nub or everything is going to that woman!
Oh! And show HIM this thread! He needs to know how you feel and how selfish he has been!

It is NOT your responsibility to babysit even if she is your sister, coz YOU are NOT her PARENTS. You did not have the responsibility to bring her into this world, it is NOT YOUR JOB!!!

I'm SERIOUS, show him this thread!

ChloeSS · Dec 27th, 2007, 03:56 PM

i am 27 the gal is 12. but her behavior is like 5 yrs old..

it really bothers me.. if she is a nice and easy one.. like just need to knwo i am somewhere available for her. i am ok with that. but she just need to STICK with me all the time..

and seems like my dad is expecting this is part of my duty. her mum is not care about it at all. and just enjoying the shopping time with my dad.

i feel so sick of it.

Maryanne007 · Dec 27th, 2007, 03:58 PM

ok at 27, you need to stand up for yourself, obviously they dont care that they're ruining your trip, so you've done all you can to be nice and accomodating. tell your dad and the girl's mom to take care of the girl period. Go live your life. I'm serious, at some point, you just have to stand up for yourself.

kbell · Dec 27th, 2007, 04:18 PM

AT 27 yes - definitely stand up for yourself. This is obviously one very immature 12 yr old who needs a babysitter - which you are not. Even if they were to marry she is still not YOUR responsibility. Her mother should be the responsible one - so make her be. I would refuse to babysit - unless they ask you well in advance & you have nothing else planned & nothing else you want to do - impossible in Vegas! They are certainly taking advantage of you. I understand them wanting maybe a little 'alone' time. A nice dinner etc - but to pawn the girl off on you the majority of the time is just plain wrong.

Roo · Dec 27th, 2007, 07:54 PM

If your Dad is paying for all this, then you really have no choice. That's the price you pay when someone else calls the shots unfortunately. Also, if your Dad wants to spend his money on this woman, there's not a lot you can do about it. Complaining will only make you appear spoiled and bitter towards the new woman and your Dad won't like it. It is a real bummer you are being forced to babysit like this, but maybe this is a sign you need to do your own thing, move out on your own and stop being dependent on your Dad.

ChloeSS · Dec 27th, 2007, 08:25 PM

i hope to have a nice talk to my dad when i back to nz. it is hard as the woman is staying with him all the time..

bb10lue · Dec 27th, 2007, 08:40 PM

Hmm...the old & classic step mother & daughter scenario. I would suggest that you spend sometime with that woman and get to know her better, rather than just suspect that shes there for the money? just my 2c.

When a man is in love, it is really hard for him to see everything clearly. Especially when he just lost his lifelong lover not too long ago, he might feel really lonely and depressed, and she was there for him when he needed it. I know its hard for you to see a new woman in your dad's life (i would feel sad and annoyed too if i was in your situation), but thats his life, and apparently he enjoys it.

Maybe its not the best time to have such a talk with your dad cos he seems very much in love right now, but you could try to show your support and that you want him to be happy, and you will always be there for him no matter what.

fiatflux · Dec 27th, 2007, 08:56 PM

I'm not following what is going on...are you on vacation right now and your Dad is paying for it all? And you are getting stuck w/babysitting the daughter most of the time instead of enjoying the vacation?

I agree that your Dad really needs to do a pre-nup if he's going to get married to this woman!!!

wordpast · Dec 27th, 2007, 10:01 PM

Well you can't do anything about him marrying her and buying her things. But you can tell him that YOU ARE NOT A BABYSITTER. Seriously, Chloe tell him that. You need to speak up for yourself.

GUCCI_COOCHIE · Dec 28th, 2007, 03:30 PM

Sorry you're going through this!

I would be really angry too, if my dad suddenly changed because of a woman.

Let us know how your talk goes with your dad.

GOOD LUCK!

Speedy · Dec 28th, 2007, 08:59 PM

The daughter has learned to whine andf get her way. AND I think she got it from the mother. I'm curious as to the woman "M"'s previous relationships.. did she drive them away with her demands? I do hope your father gets a pre-nup.

Honey, at 27, you shouldn't let your father tell you what to do. You need to point out to him that the little girl feels abandoned by her own mother and is too young to deal with it. Of course she's going to make a fuss... and make you look like the bad guy. The mother has taught her to feeel insecure, and it's going to ruin her in later life, it's already starting now.

ARE you on vacation? If so, not a lot you can do about it right now, other than see about a paid babysitter when you want to go out. And THEY should pay for it.

I wish you luck. When you get back to New Zealand, I'd look into getting your own place.

PS, I lived through this with my father and step-mother, only she wasn't the gold-digger, he was. But she had a bratty daughter.

Dec 27th, 2007, 03:22 PM	#1
ChloeSS Member Location: Sydney	step mother? step sister? i am getting confuse.. Long story.. make it short. my mother died last yr due to illness and around 3 month ago my dad started to seeing another lady called M. M do have a 12 yr old daughter and she broke up with her last relationship a while ago.. At the started, I just couldnt accept it that they are holding hand in front of me and acted like sweet teenager... I had a nice talk with my dad and discussed a few things and I decided I will try to accept it as my dad needs a partner for the rest of his life and from what he told me seems that M lady is not a bad lady, at least she works hard and earn money for living.. Then.. I found out they are actually going to us with me. from the start, it was ok.. but overtime. i started to suspect... that M lady is trying to ask my dad to buy her all the expensive things.. She doesnt looks like someone used to use like LV, Gucci , Dior a lot.. but my dad bought her a LV bag recently. And she is asking for another LV bag for weekend and a LV wallet. also cartier and dior watch.. I found it is a bit insane for a 3 month relationship ( or 6 month). my dad's personality has been changed a lot! my dad hates brand name.. and only bought my mum a LV wallet and 1 LV bag so far for last 20 yrs and my mum has to pick one under $xxxx . and now.. my dad just paid for the trip , paid for every single thing they bought or they ate. keep visiting gucci, LV, Dior with her... I am worry! but i know i am not in the position to tell my dad how i feel... I cannot believe how a new woman can change so much on a man's life. my dad used to be the king and just sitting and wait for my mum to serve him but now he came the person who run around and serve that woman like a queen. and the worse part is.... the daughter. i became a baby-sitter.. I am living with the daughter "A". "A" is kind of unsecured gal that feels scare of belong alone, go to public toilet alone, scare of dark etc... and she is keep holding my hand or hugging me while we are shopping and it bothers me! cos i am an adult, i need to private time and i dont like to be a baby sitter. then... today I suppose to go to meet my friend for an evening dinner.. and my dad booked the ticket for a shows to go with her mother.. A was crying and upset.. and scare to be alone. my dad told me to take her with me for my dinner. I told them i cannot ( because i am not her sister). and ended up they might need to cancel the ticket to the show. and they both upset. and the young gal keep screaming at me in the pubic and tell ppl i dont care about her and leaving her alone. Then.. at sleep time, I am living at Vegas. so of course I would love to visit the casino for fun. I told her I will stay with her till she slept , then I will go out .. so she wont be feeling lonely. She immediately called my dad and her mum and said " sister is going away for casino i am scare" and ended up my dad came over to tell me off and said " I dont want to talk to u anymore on that, try u r best to make my life as difficult as you can" I am shocked! is this my responsibility to take care of her?? and is it too much for me to ask for 2 nights of private time?? I've been baby sitting her for last 5 days non-stop . I met some cool guy on my tour and i dont even have chance to talk to them cos she is hanging with my all the time and talk about silly things .. i need some help and my dad is going to marry that woman

Dec 27th, 2007, 03:32 PM	#2
merika Just me Location: In front of a computer	Re: step mother? step sister? i am getting confuse.. How old are you? Is it possible for you to move out and live independently? __________________ I will also gladly authenticate your chocolates for you.

Dec 27th, 2007, 03:35 PM	#3
kbell Member Location: MA	Re: step mother? step sister? i am getting confuse.. Did they ask you to babysit? How old is the daughter? I would not babysit on my vacation unless I was asked nicely to & it certainly wouldn't be most of the time. It's her daughter not yours. Let her pay for a babysitter if she can't see fit to watch her own child. You're right - it isn't your responsibility IMO. __________________ Heal quickly & come back soon!

Dec 27th, 2007, 03:38 PM	#4
Maryanne007 Member	Re: step mother? step sister? i am getting confuse.. you need to speak up, not to your dad but to the woman, and tell her to take of her daughter! this is an awful situation they have put you in. tell your father you are still upset by your mother's passing, and it is unfair for him to spring this new relationship on you and give you responsibilities you never asked for nor are obliged to accept. how old are you? if you are an adult, you are old enough to walk away and live your own life.

Dec 27th, 2007, 03:41 PM	#5
lolitakali Mira Location: Maryland	Re: step mother? step sister? i am getting confuse.. Tell your Dad to get a pre-nub or everything is going to that woman! Oh! And show HIM this thread! He needs to know how you feel and how selfish he has been! It is NOT your responsibility to babysit even if she is your sister, coz YOU are NOT her PARENTS. You did not have the responsibility to bring her into this world, it is NOT YOUR JOB!!! I'm SERIOUS, show him this thread!

Dec 27th, 2007, 03:56 PM	#6
ChloeSS Member Location: Sydney	Re: step mother? step sister? i am getting confuse.. i am 27 the gal is 12. but her behavior is like 5 yrs old.. it really bothers me.. if she is a nice and easy one.. like just need to knwo i am somewhere available for her. i am ok with that. but she just need to STICK with me all the time.. and seems like my dad is expecting this is part of my duty. her mum is not care about it at all. and just enjoying the shopping time with my dad. i feel so sick of it.

Dec 27th, 2007, 03:58 PM	#7
Maryanne007 Member	Re: step mother? step sister? i am getting confuse.. ok at 27, you need to stand up for yourself, obviously they dont care that they're ruining your trip, so you've done all you can to be nice and accomodating. tell your dad and the girl's mom to take care of the girl period. Go live your life. I'm serious, at some point, you just have to stand up for yourself.

Dec 27th, 2007, 04:18 PM	#8
kbell Member Location: MA	Re: step mother? step sister? i am getting confuse.. AT 27 yes - definitely stand up for yourself. This is obviously one very immature 12 yr old who needs a babysitter - which you are not. Even if they were to marry she is still not YOUR responsibility. Her mother should be the responsible one - so make her be. I would refuse to babysit - unless they ask you well in advance & you have nothing else planned & nothing else you want to do - impossible in Vegas! They are certainly taking advantage of you. I understand them wanting maybe a little 'alone' time. A nice dinner etc - but to pawn the girl off on you the majority of the time is just plain wrong. __________________ Heal quickly & come back soon!

Dec 27th, 2007, 07:54 PM	#9
Roo Up to the Minute Mod Location: Rue Roo	Re: step mother? step sister? i am getting confuse.. If your Dad is paying for all this, then you really have no choice. That's the price you pay when someone else calls the shots unfortunately. Also, if your Dad wants to spend his money on this woman, there's not a lot you can do about it. Complaining will only make you appear spoiled and bitter towards the new woman and your Dad won't like it. It is a real bummer you are being forced to babysit like this, but maybe this is a sign you need to do your own thing, move out on your own and stop being dependent on your Dad. __________________ " We are the first nation in the history of the world to go to the poorhouse in an automobile." -- WILL ROGERS

Dec 27th, 2007, 08:25 PM	#10
ChloeSS Member Location: Sydney	Re: step mother? step sister? i am getting confuse.. i hope to have a nice talk to my dad when i back to nz. it is hard as the woman is staying with him all the time..

Dec 27th, 2007, 08:40 PM	#11
bb10lue カルティエ*LӨVE Location: Austraila	Re: step mother? step sister? i am getting confuse.. Hmm...the old & classic step mother & daughter scenario. I would suggest that you spend sometime with that woman and get to know her better, rather than just suspect that shes there for the money? just my 2c. When a man is in love, it is really hard for him to see everything clearly. Especially when he just lost his lifelong lover not too long ago, he might feel really lonely and depressed, and she was there for him when he needed it. I know its hard for you to see a new woman in your dad's life (i would feel sad and annoyed too if i was in your situation), but thats his life, and apparently he enjoys it. Maybe its not the best time to have such a talk with your dad cos he seems very much in love right now, but you could try to show your support and that you want him to be happy, and you will always be there for him no matter what. __________________ Hermès HG 35cm Black Togo/Clemence Birkin (one day...)

Dec 27th, 2007, 08:56 PM	#12
fiatflux Member	Re: step mother? step sister? i am getting confuse.. I'm not following what is going on...are you on vacation right now and your Dad is paying for it all? And you are getting stuck w/babysitting the daughter most of the time instead of enjoying the vacation? I agree that your Dad really needs to do a pre-nup if he's going to get married to this woman!!!

Dec 27th, 2007, 10:01 PM	#13
wordpast Member Location: Never Never Land	Re: step mother? step sister? i am getting confuse.. Well you can't do anything about him marrying her and buying her things. But you can tell him that YOU ARE NOT A BABYSITTER. Seriously, Chloe tell him that. You need to speak up for yourself. __________________

Dec 28th, 2007, 03:30 PM	#14
GUCCI_COOCHIE 90 day ban! 6/1-8/31 Location: OC.	Re: step mother? step sister? i am getting confuse.. Sorry you're going through this! I would be really angry too, if my dad suddenly changed because of a woman. Let us know how your talk goes with your dad. GOOD LUCK! __________________ *CURRENTLY ON A 90-day BAN! http://90dayshoppingrehab.blogspot.com/

Dec 28th, 2007, 08:59 PM	#15
Speedy Sofa King Banned Location: N. California	Re: step mother? step sister? i am getting confuse.. The daughter has learned to whine andf get her way. AND I think she got it from the mother. I'm curious as to the woman "M"'s previous relationships.. did she drive them away with her demands? I do hope your father gets a pre-nup. Honey, at 27, you shouldn't let your father tell you what to do. You need to point out to him that the little girl feels abandoned by her own mother and is too young to deal with it. Of course she's going to make a fuss... and make you look like the bad guy. The mother has taught her to feeel insecure, and it's going to ruin her in later life, it's already starting now. ARE you on vacation? If so, not a lot you can do about it right now, other than see about a paid babysitter when you want to go out. And THEY should pay for it. I wish you luck. When you get back to New Zealand, I'd look into getting your own place. PS, I lived through this with my father and step-mother, only she wasn't the gold-digger, he was. But she had a bratty daughter.