So stressed out by wedding planning, feel like crying all the time, please help me

chanelbaby · Jun 28th, 2008, 10:12 AM

I am so stressed out by wedding planning, that finally last night decided to ditch all the guests, I felt like I was being pulled in all directions by everyone's demands, feel I have let down everyone but I can't afford to pay for 31 people (flights, hotels, transport, food, dresses etc). None of them have a penny to their name and all my planning has been to please them :(

So upset, so confused, only have 5 weeks now to get everything organised with just me and him.

With a budget of only $2000 (including dress) can anyone offer me any advice.

exotikittenx · Jun 28th, 2008, 10:43 AM

I think it depends on what YOU want. If you want to have all those people there, unfortunately they need to pay for themselves to arrive and stay in hotels. You are not required to pay for them to get there, stay, or their clothing, either. Otherwise, that should not be for you to worry about. It's unfortunate, but they should not expect you to pay for them.

Friends of mine are going to a tropical island when they get married with just a few close family members, and when they get back, just having a big barbecue at their house to celebrate.

With you and your husband-to-be... you can plan something that will be amazing and memorable with that budget. Try not to be upset because this should be a happy and memorable time for you.

Dress: Jessica McClintock has great and beautifully fitting dresses if you have a store nearby. They are very reasonably priced usually around $100-200, and you can order even any of the bridesmaids dresses in a shade of white, or at least most of them.

With the rest of the money, just curious, have you booked a church or anything yet? Also, what area do you live? And can you afford to go on a honeymoon? Or is that included in the $2000 budget? If I were you, I would just fly somewhere really beautiful to get eloped and enjoy a nice honeymoon. Or even drive somewhere if you live near something appealing to you.

GirlFriday · Jun 28th, 2008, 10:52 AM

David's Bridal has some good sales where everything in the store is $99. I don't know when the next sale is, but they have some cute dresses. I got my dress there thinking that I wouldn't like anything and there were so many cute dresses.

It's hard with planning a wedding especially when everyone pulls you a thousand different ways. Just do what you want, and everybody else can get over it. It's what you and your husband want that matters. You should enjoy your wedding, and have fond memories. Congratulations, and I hope it works out!

couturequeen · Jun 28th, 2008, 11:42 AM

Remind yourself why you are getting married. I'd read this article and take a few days off planning anything. Get back to the basics. Wedding planning should be fun. You and your fiance should picture what you want your wedding to look like and make it a reality. It's no one's wedding but yours and you should look back on it with fond memories.

boxermom · Jun 28th, 2008, 02:48 PM

I'm so sorry you're stressed over everything. You can't take care of everyone else. Do the minimum necessary and as you have a chance to see the people who would've come, celebrate with a dinner out or a fun bbq in the backyard. It's about you and your fiance making a marriage, not the few hours that comprise the wedding ceremony and reception.

Best wishes to you both!

LaurelLee123 · Jun 28th, 2008, 03:18 PM

I think you should just step back and remember what a wedding is supposed to be about. You and your husband to be making a lifelong commitment to one another. Nothing else matters. This should be about joy not about tears. If you are at a point in your life when you can't afford to throw a huge wedding, then remember that you are going to be with your man forever. Maybe for your five year anniversary when you have a lot more disposable income you can have a great renewal of vows ceremony and party.

rainrowan · Jun 28th, 2008, 03:40 PM

I don't know if this will help at all, but with just $2K, I'd suggest you go off somewhere with your fiance on a grand trip and elope. Come back refreshed and relaxed and worry about a party later on when things are more comfortable.

There's not a lot of time left to plan, I think brides-to-be need a year or more to get together what your friends are expecting... places need to be booked months in advance...

caxe · Jun 28th, 2008, 03:47 PM

I'm sorry. I have no advice for you. I've been engaged for almost five months, and I haven't done anything towards wedding planning other than reading books on the subject. I found it as stressful as you do, so I just said, "Screw this!" for now, and pretty much put it out of my mind.

harleyNemma · Jun 28th, 2008, 05:13 PM

I can completely understand where you are coming from and GOOD FOR YOU for standing up for yourself. I think there is a lot of undo pressure for brides & their grooms to create a celebration for others (family, friends, etc.) when the reality is the celebration is for the new life the bride & groom are creating together.

For 2k, I say, find a dress that makes you feel pretty, get a sheet cake from Costco and some inexpensive bubbly or make some punch and invite folks over. Then, with the remainder, take a three day weekend and lock yourselves in a good hotel room & indulge in the pleasure of each other's company.

I wish you and your fiance all the best in your life together!

illinirdhd · Jun 28th, 2008, 10:51 PM

Fly to Las Vegas, rent a dress and a tux and get married on the strip. You can have a pretty nice weekend here for $2,000.

VPT · Jun 28th, 2008, 11:29 PM

I organized my wedding and reception myself in under 3 months like shotgun style

All the advice I can give is have a planner, preferably a large calendar page rather than on a PDA where screen is so small you can't see all details in month format at once. On a separate paper, list things to do. On another sheet list tasks to perform in order to achieve things to do on 1st list. Work back the time and dates it takes to do each task and pen those deadlines on the calendar.

Delegate, delegate, DELEGATE!!! Parents, aunts, cousins, friends, give them a little something to do. It drastically cuts time and helps to ease the burden. Of course you will have to oversee their work, give them ample time to act and not last minute. By the final week you should have everything ready and complete, last days are for relaxation, bachelorette parties, practises, and final touches. Good luck!

mjlover1977 · Jun 28th, 2008, 11:32 PM

i second the vegas thing ... its about the 2 of you ... what will make you happy?? good luck honey and remember - this is the start of your lives together. hugs!

Leah411 · Jun 29th, 2008, 02:44 AM

I'm getting married in September and our wedding budget is even smaller than your's, so I think I understand where you are coming from.

I think Boxermom said it best...it's about making a marriage. It's not about a dress or a fancy reception or any of those that most people seem to focus on these days when planning a wedding.

We've been freaking out because we have the date set firmly in September, but have no place to hold the wedding yet. Our congregation doesn't have a synagogue yet (we're renting space), so that's out. Everyone else wants a thousand dollars or more just to have a space to stand in and have a ceremony! So I know what kind of pressure and stress you're talking about.

Remember that the important part is the getting married part and the importand people are you and your fiance. We keep reminding ourselves of this....even if means we have the wedding at our apartment. The important thing will have been making the commitment to spend the rest of our lives together.

chloe777 · Jun 29th, 2008, 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by binky88

Call it off. If your family can't afford to fly in for your wedding, frankly, they need to keep their broke asses at home. I mean come on, if it was important they would make every effort to get the $ to get there.

:dftt: Ban this

Sweet Lime · Jun 29th, 2008, 05:28 PM

Take this from some who had a very small wedding, but has been married for 23 1/2 years. Elope, Elope, Elope.
Weddings are getting crazy, and it isn't about love. It's about showing off and what you can afford. And that isn't what it is supposed to be about!! At the end of the day, it is you and your fiance and the fact that you are committing yourselves to each other. That is it.
If your family will have a cow if they don't see you get married, then ask them over for dinner, have a minister, rabbi, notary, whatever, there. Don't tell them. Get married have some cake and hop a plane to a tropical place where you drink drinks with umbrellas and don't get dressed for a week.

Jun 28th, 2008, 10:12 AM	#1
chanelbaby Member Location: Alabama and London	So stressed out by wedding planning, feel like crying all the time, please help me I am so stressed out by wedding planning, that finally last night decided to ditch all the guests, I felt like I was being pulled in all directions by everyone's demands, feel I have let down everyone but I can't afford to pay for 31 people (flights, hotels, transport, food, dresses etc). None of them have a penny to their name and all my planning has been to please them :( So upset, so confused, only have 5 weeks now to get everything organised with just me and him. With a budget of only $2000 (including dress) can anyone offer me any advice. __________________ My 11 babies: 92? black vintage lambskin jumbo 02 Pink Olsen 05 Pink Valentine Chain 05 Red Valentine Chain 05 black lambskin mini classic 06 M White/Black Cambon Tote 06 Denim Cabas 06 Fabric patchwork flap 07 Perforated Union Jack flap 07 Dark Grey EW MC 07 Red EW with bijou chain

Jun 28th, 2008, 10:43 AM	#2
exotikittenx Ooh la la! Location: The City of Plain 'n Proper	I think it depends on what YOU want. If you want to have all those people there, unfortunately they need to pay for themselves to arrive and stay in hotels. You are not required to pay for them to get there, stay, or their clothing, either. Otherwise, that should not be for you to worry about. It's unfortunate, but they should not expect you to pay for them. Friends of mine are going to a tropical island when they get married with just a few close family members, and when they get back, just having a big barbecue at their house to celebrate. With you and your husband-to-be... you can plan something that will be amazing and memorable with that budget. Try not to be upset because this should be a happy and memorable time for you. Dress: Jessica McClintock has great and beautifully fitting dresses if you have a store nearby. They are very reasonably priced usually around $100-200, and you can order even any of the bridesmaids dresses in a shade of white, or at least most of them. With the rest of the money, just curious, have you booked a church or anything yet? Also, what area do you live? And can you afford to go on a honeymoon? Or is that included in the $2000 budget? If I were you, I would just fly somewhere really beautiful to get eloped and enjoy a nice honeymoon. Or even drive somewhere if you live near something appealing to you. __________________ Please check out my collection! Click here.

Jun 28th, 2008, 11:42 AM	#4
couturequeen addict	Remind yourself why you are getting married. I'd read this article and take a few days off planning anything. Get back to the basics. Wedding planning should be fun. You and your fiance should picture what you want your wedding to look like and make it a reality. It's no one's wedding but yours and you should look back on it with fond memories. __________________ My updated collection pictures are here. Wishlist Diamond halo stud earrings Bedat No. 7 watch

Jun 28th, 2008, 03:47 PM	#8
caxe Loves root beer. Location: The Southeast, US	I'm sorry. I have no advice for you. I've been engaged for almost five months, and I haven't done anything towards wedding planning other than reading books on the subject. I found it as stressful as you do, so I just said, "Screw this!" for now, and pretty much put it out of my mind. __________________ Christmas without fruitcake is like St. Sigmund's Day without the headless boy.

Jun 28th, 2008, 05:13 PM	#9
harleyNemma Harley & Hermes Location: The PNW	I can completely understand where you are coming from and GOOD FOR YOU for standing up for yourself. I think there is a lot of undo pressure for brides & their grooms to create a celebration for others (family, friends, etc.) when the reality is the celebration is for the new life the bride & groom are creating together. For 2k, I say, find a dress that makes you feel pretty, get a sheet cake from Costco and some inexpensive bubbly or make some punch and invite folks over. Then, with the remainder, take a three day weekend and lock yourselves in a good hotel room & indulge in the pleasure of each other's company. I wish you and your fiance all the best in your life together! __________________ Torch the Goal that Limits & Minimizes You

Jun 28th, 2008, 10:52 AM	#3
GirlFriday Member	David's Bridal has some good sales where everything in the store is $99. I don't know when the next sale is, but they have some cute dresses. I got my dress there thinking that I wouldn't like anything and there were so many cute dresses. It's hard with planning a wedding especially when everyone pulls you a thousand different ways. Just do what you want, and everybody else can get over it. It's what you and your husband want that matters. You should enjoy your wedding, and have fond memories. Congratulations, and I hope it works out!

Jun 28th, 2008, 02:48 PM	#5
boxermom Member Location: North Carolina	I'm so sorry you're stressed over everything. You can't take care of everyone else. Do the minimum necessary and as you have a chance to see the people who would've come, celebrate with a dinner out or a fun bbq in the backyard. It's about you and your fiance making a marriage, not the few hours that comprise the wedding ceremony and reception. Best wishes to you both!

Jun 28th, 2008, 03:18 PM	#6
LaurelLee123 Member	I think you should just step back and remember what a wedding is supposed to be about. You and your husband to be making a lifelong commitment to one another. Nothing else matters. This should be about joy not about tears. If you are at a point in your life when you can't afford to throw a huge wedding, then remember that you are going to be with your man forever. Maybe for your five year anniversary when you have a lot more disposable income you can have a great renewal of vows ceremony and party.

Jun 28th, 2008, 03:40 PM	#7
rainrowan INFJ	I don't know if this will help at all, but with just $2K, I'd suggest you go off somewhere with your fiance on a grand trip and elope. Come back refreshed and relaxed and worry about a party later on when things are more comfortable. There's not a lot of time left to plan, I think brides-to-be need a year or more to get together what your friends are expecting... places need to be booked months in advance...

Jun 28th, 2008, 10:51 PM	#10
illinirdhd Sofa King Hooked Location: Las Vegas, NV	Fly to Las Vegas, rent a dress and a tux and get married on the strip. You can have a pretty nice weekend here for $2,000. __________________

Jun 28th, 2008, 11:29 PM	#11
VPT i ♥ blood oranges Location: Singapore / Vancouver	I organized my wedding and reception myself in under 3 months like shotgun style All the advice I can give is have a planner, preferably a large calendar page rather than on a PDA where screen is so small you can't see all details in month format at once. On a separate paper, list things to do. On another sheet list tasks to perform in order to achieve things to do on 1st list. Work back the time and dates it takes to do each task and pen those deadlines on the calendar. Delegate, delegate, DELEGATE!!! Parents, aunts, cousins, friends, give them a little something to do. It drastically cuts time and helps to ease the burden. Of course you will have to oversee their work, give them ample time to act and not last minute. By the final week you should have everything ready and complete, last days are for relaxation, bachelorette parties, practises, and final touches. Good luck! __________________

Jun 28th, 2008, 11:32 PM	#12
mjlover1977 happily in love Location: Sydney, Australia	i second the vegas thing ... its about the 2 of you ... what will make you happy?? good luck honey and remember - this is the start of your lives together. hugs! __________________ my lil bag collection chloe silver silverado LV mono speedy 25 Balenciaga ink shoulder LV Amarante large cles Chloe tan paddington Chanel black mini flap Chanel black lamskin east west Balenciaga black GSH day Prada dark brown cervo lux medium tote miu miu metallic purple small matelasse MBMJ midnight terri Marc Jacobs black quilted banana hobo Marc Jacobs black icey little stam

Jun 29th, 2008, 02:44 AM	#13
Leah411 Officially Mrs. J!	I'm getting married in September and our wedding budget is even smaller than your's, so I think I understand where you are coming from. I think Boxermom said it best...it's about making a marriage. It's not about a dress or a fancy reception or any of those that most people seem to focus on these days when planning a wedding. We've been freaking out because we have the date set firmly in September, but have no place to hold the wedding yet. Our congregation doesn't have a synagogue yet (we're renting space), so that's out. Everyone else wants a thousand dollars or more just to have a space to stand in and have a ceremony! So I know what kind of pressure and stress you're talking about. Remember that the important part is the getting married part and the importand people are you and your fiance. We keep reminding ourselves of this....even if means we have the wedding at our apartment. The important thing will have been making the commitment to spend the rest of our lives together. __________________

Jun 29th, 2008, 05:28 PM	#15
Sweet Lime Member Location: I wish I could say Paris.....	Take this from some who had a very small wedding, but has been married for 23 1/2 years. Elope, Elope, Elope. Weddings are getting crazy, and it isn't about love. It's about showing off and what you can afford. And that isn't what it is supposed to be about!! At the end of the day, it is you and your fiance and the fact that you are committing yourselves to each other. That is it. If your family will have a cow if they don't see you get married, then ask them over for dinner, have a minister, rabbi, notary, whatever, there. Don't tell them. Get married have some cake and hop a plane to a tropical place where you drink drinks with umbrellas and don't get dressed for a week.